13 Minke Street

TL note: It’s official. I’m changing that black cat’s name from Poe to Pu’er. And no, I don’t wanna hear any arguments about that! You people blatantly ignored me when I asked for suggestions, and now you wanna protest?! Anyway, let’s continue with the story.

On the way to the crematorium, the car carried two honored guests.

On the way back, the car carried two urns of ashes.

Though the funeral was simple, even perfunctory, the sky showed mercy on their return from the cremation, sending down rain to help Jeff and Mr. Mauson bid farewell to this world.

Karen looked at the urns in front of him. Indeed, those jars in the basement were not for storing pickles!

Freshly cremated ashes are hot. So sometimes, to save time, the funeral home would use urns from the basement to transport the ashes. Once they return, the ashes are transferred to the urns with the company logo.

Jeff’s urn needed to go through the final procedure to be placed in the welfare section of the cemetery, and Mr. Mauson’s children were not willing to take his urn. A normal cemetery, even if it’s not for burial, was not cheap. So they were willing to pay the Inmerales extra to help get their father a ‘free ride’ into the welfare section along with Jeff.

Therefore, in essence, Jeff got to ‘hitch a ride’ on Mr. Mauson’s funeral process, and Mr. Mauson also leeched off Jeff’s welfare qualification. If things went as expected, their urns would be placed side by side after being delivered together to the welfare cemetery.

That’s good too. If they ever got lonely, they could use their own skulls to knock on the ‘wall’ between them.

Karen was still thinking about what old Darcy said about the cost price of urns, and curiously asked Uncle Mason who was driving:

“Uncle, how much profit do we make on our coffins?”

“For more ordinary ones, the profit is about 100%. For customized or specially designed ones, the profit could be 200% to 300%.

“Those who were very dignified in life, like government workers, would choose solemn and modest ones. Those with noble titles and considerable family wealth would order luxurious coffins engraved with their family crests according to their family traditions.

“The newly rich are simpler – they just loved the ostentatious gold and glamour.

“Oh yes, we have a catalogue at home specifically for selecting coffins, with over 200 models. If you are interested you can flip through it when you get back.

“Oh, also, the prices on it are basically five times the cost price. When we sell to customers, we will ‘discount’ them.”

Several times the profit, Karen thought to himself. That’s still okay, it’s not as exaggerated as the urns at Hughes Crematorium! They sell them for 1000 with a cost price of less than 50, making a profit of twenty times!

Coincidently, Uncle Mason also opened up his chatter-box and used the previous incident as an example:

“Don’t let our lower profit margins compared to the crematorium fool you. How much can they make on a single urn, even with a huge markup? Our most basic coffin sells for at least 10,000 Lubi.

“Also, our customer base is different from theirs. Here, those who are eventually cremated are…um, all low-class customers, but they are also their main customer base.

“They burn bodies there every day, and in a month, we can make the same profit as them by just doing three normal deals.

“Of course, Mr. Mauson was not a regular customer.”

“Uncle, have you ever thought of expanding the business?” Karen asked.

Mason shook his head. “My investments failed. I leveraged it… Oh, do you know what leverage means?”

“I do.”

“Well, it’s good that you know; in short, I’m very sorry to tell you, my poor nephew, that your grandfather’s money, which is the part of the inheritance you can inherit in the future, has shrunk a lot because of your incompetent uncle.”

After a pause, he added, “Don’t be mad at your uncle.”

According to Ruland Kingdom’s tradition, the eldest son was usually responsible for inheriting the family business, while the younger ones would venture out into the world.

Therefore, from a customary point of view, Karen, as the eldest grandson of the eldest son, should be the heir to the funeral home, while Mason, at most, would get some money or shares, but would have no say in that matter.

“I don’t blame you, uncle.”

In the memory of the previous ‘Karen’, there had always been a good impression of this uncle.

Through more than half a month of contact, Karen found that Mason was lazy, talkative, greedy, and had many shortcomings. But those shortcomings were common to ordinary people. What really mattered was that Uncle Mason had an upright attitude towards life, family, and money.

In fact, the one who was most eager to make money and make a comeback was him. He used to work in financial investment in a big city, but now he can only drive a hearse to pick up and drop off corpses. Obviously, he could not be happy with it.

And when Karen suggested putting the nearly 20,000 lubi ‘consulting fee’ into the company accounts, he rejected it without hesitation – showing he was not the type to take money from his nephew.

The only people in the family who were employed and could enjoy those bonuses were Uncle Mason, Aunt Mary, his grandfather, and Aunt Winnie. If these 20,000 lubi were handed over, Uncle Mason and Aunt Mary can take half of it next month.

After all, earning that money did not incur much operating costs…if not for the 1,000 lubi Karen gave to old Darcy, the costs were just a bit of saliva.

“Also, Karen, next time, when there is business, you try to communicate with the customer yourself, and we will see the effect. If it’s good, you can officially join the company and get bonuses as a family member.”

“Sure, Uncle.”

Working for the Inmerales, no, to work for Diss, it is my honor.

“Also, regarding your suggestion to expand – I don’t think expansion is necessary now. Even if we could get a bank loan, we can’t compete with those business chains in terms of scale. So I feel we should focus on improving our service quality while looking for new profit growth areas – like you.”

“Can’t Grandpa take on this job?” Karen asked.

Grandpa was a priest.

Mason dismissed it casually. “Haa, who tells the truth to God nowadays?”

Just then, the wheels sank into a puddle in the road ahead, causing a big bump.

The car was fine, but the two urns collided with a bang. Luckily they did not break.

Mason looked back and said, “After I die, I don’t plan to have a funeral at all. Don’t mention coffins, I don’t even want Mina and Trent to prepare an urn for me.”

“Huh? Uncle, how are you so open-minded?”

“Some things, when you see them too much, you don’t think they mean much anymore. When I’m old, as long as Mina and Trent are filial to me, even if they put my ashes in a black plastic bag like the ones they use to buy fish at the market, I won’t have any complaints.” 

“Then what would you do with the ashes?” Karen asked.

“That’s easy to arrange. Find a big flower pot, put me in it, add some soil, and plant anything on top. You can put it in the flower bed.

“When you’re home, you can water me. When you’re not home, I’ll be watching the house for you.”

Just then, Ron, who had fallen asleep on the way back, had just been woken up by the bump. And upon hearing this conversation, he was a little curious.

“Mr. Mason, Master Karen, why are you talking about such a heavy topic?”

“What are your plans for your own funeral, Ron?” Mason casually asked while driving one-handed and lighting a cigarette with the other.

“Hehe, I must plan to spend my very last Lubi before I die.”

“What about your family?” Karen asked.

“I’m going to ask out the nurse at the nursing home after work tomorrow. If she doesn’t end up with me in the end, I probably won’t have any family left, let alone kids.”

“Then what about your final arrangements?”

“Final arrangements?” Ron patted his belly. “That’s simple. I heard the Roja Medical College accepts body donations from public. They even respectfully call the donated cadavers…what was that term?”

Karen said, “Cadaver teachers.”

“Right, right, Young Master Karen sure knows a lot more. Hehe, when I’m about to die, I’ll just sign an agreement to donate myself and become a cadaver teacher.”

Mason flicked some ash from his cigarette and laughed. “Ron, I never realized how impressive you are until now.”

“Well…I was never good at studying. I couldn’t absorb book knowledge at all, so I dropped out early to find work. But I know only the best students can get into Roja Medical College.

“I just think, in the future, as this drop-out student lies there, and having those excellent students with good grades standing beside me, bowing and calling me ‘teacher’—what a delightful and enjoyable experience that would be.”

“Hahahaha.” Mason burst out laughing.

Karen couldn’t help but smile, but still reminded him, “Then Ron, you have to lose weight.”

“Lose weight?” Ron was surprised. “Are there physique requirements to be a cadaver teacher?”

“Not really, but you know, after they cut open your stomach, your fat will be piled up there. Then the students will probably cut through your fat while holding back their nausea and cursing you softly: ‘Oh my god, why is my cadaver teacher a fat dead man!'”

Ron immediately straightened his back. “Is it that bad?!” Then, he fell into deep contemplation about his final arrangements.

Uncle Mason curiously asked, “Karen, how do you know all this?”

“Aunt Mary told me. You know, she has to handle some terribly mangled corpses sometimes, so she’ll curse them out over dinner.”

Uncle Mason nodded in deep understanding. “Yes, her temper has gotten worse.”

Right after, he sighed, flicked more ash from his cigarette, and said, “It’s all my fault.”

…

They got home at 9 pm. After putting the urns in the basement, the day’s work was done.

For dinner, there was mashed potatoes, smoked bacon, and vegetable salad.

Karen washed his hands and came over. To be honest, he felt a little disappointed after seeing this dinner, especially since he was hungrier than usual after being out all day.

But…he can just cook it himself next time.

“Dear, I opened a can of sardines for you.”

Upon hearing ‘sardines’, Uncle Mason immediately spread his arms with a smile and kissed Aunt Mary several times in front of Karen. “This is a blissful dinner. I love it, and I love you for preparing it for me, dear.”

Two days ago in the car, Uncle Mason had told Aunt Mary that her homemade pies were one of the two foods he loved. The other poop-inducing food he referred to was ‘canned sardines’.

Karen blinked. He suddenly had an ominous feeling.

Pop!

There was gas in the can that made a muffled pop when opened.

Right after, the stench of rotten meat spread out immediately. Karen’s stomach cramped, and he forcibly suppressed the impulse to retch.

In the face of this stench, stinky tofu was like a little darling with its own air freshener!

Uncle Mason speared a piece with his fork and put it in his mouth, chewing with an expression of enjoyment.

Then, without even asking Karen, he picked up another piece and put it on Karen’s mashed potatoes. “Eat up, Karen. In this family, you and I have always been the most loyal fans, no, disciples of canned sardines!”

Karen held his breath and looked at Mason, who picked up another piece of the sardine and declared, “Come, let’s toast to our faith!” After that, he put it in his mouth, chewing it with great enjoyment.

Karen showed a reluctant expression. 

But who could have expected the previous ‘Karen’ to actually like this food?

Also, having loved eating stinky tofu in his past life, Karen vaguely guessed this stuff was probably like stinky tofu – smells nasty but tastes delicious?

Working up his courage, Karen forked it up and put it in his mouth.

In an instant – wow! – Karen’s eyes widened immediately.

He couldn’t even swallow it and spat the whole thing out onto a napkin, then immediately got up from the table and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.

Still at the table, Mason and Mary were a little surprised.

“What’s wrong with him?” Aunt Mary wondered.

Uncle Mason speculated, “Maybe he caught a cold on the way back due to the draft and rain?”

“I’ll go prepare some medicine for him then.”

…

After vomiting, Karen panted helplessly.

Turning his head, he saw Pu’er, the cat, standing at the door of the bathroom. It was staring at him, and the curve of its mouth made Karen feel like it was laughing at him.

“Are you laughing at me?”

Pu’er’s expression remained unchanged, and its tail wagged.

Just then, Aunt Mary’s voice came from outside, “Karen, did you catch a cold? I brought medicine for you.”

“OK Auntie, I’ll come out and take it in a bit.”

“What about your supper…”

No, that damn supper, Karen didn’t want to go back to that table anymore, and now he didn’t even want to go back to the second floor!

The entire second floor was probably permeating with the smell of canned sardines now.

“Trent has a lot of snacks in the room. I’ll just grab a bit of those. My stomach isn’t feeling very well, so I shouldn’t eat too much.”

“OK…if you still feel unwell in the morning, I’ll take you to the clinic.”

“Thanks Auntie.”

Aunt Mary turned and left.

Vaguely, Karen heard his aunt scolding his younger cousin, Trent. “Trent, you’ve already lost so many teeth, and you still dare to hide snacks? Since you don’t want your teeth, I’ll tear your mouth open now!”

In the bathroom, Karen felt a little sorry for his younger cousin. His heart was filled with guilt for Trent. Then he took a comfortable shower.

After taking a shower, Karen walked back to his bedroom while drying his hair with a towel.

On the bedroom desk, there were milk, bread, a water cup, and some pills.

Trent was sitting on the floor, organizing the boxes that had been stored under the spring bed. When he heard Karen enter the room, he turned his head, looking at Karen pitifully.

“Brother, Mom found all the candy and chocolate I hid.”

His cousin didn’t look resentful or blame Karen at all. Instead, he just appeared a little resigned.

“I should have known better. I was too frugal before—only eating one piece each night. I should have eaten them all.”

“Hehe.” Karen chuckled and took out 1000 lubi from his pocket. He hesitated for a moment, thinking that it might not be appropriate for a child to have too much money. Finally, he took out three bills and handed them to Trent.

“Take this and buy some candies. If you run out, come ask me for more.”

Trent didn’t reach out to take it. Instead, he shook his head and said, “I can’t take brother’s money.”

“Shouldn’t younger brothers spend their older brother’s money?”

“No, Mom said we have to take care of you because you don’t have…” Trent quickly changed his words. “Actually, I have pocket money too!”

Including Karen, there were four children in the family.

Logically speaking, the monthly allowance for the four children should be the same, and this part of the expense is also included in the family budget. But because the younger cousins ​​have parents, their pocket money is kept by Aunt Mary and Aunt Winnie. So very little actually fell into their hands

On the other hand, since Karen had no parents, the elders didn’t feel it was right to manage his pocket money. So he was paid in full every month. This was why Karen was able to save up 6,000 lubi.

“Brush your teeth diligently every day and watch your candy intake. It’ll be fine.”

Karen still put the 300 lubi on Trent’s bed. At the same time, he found that there were many books and notebooks on Trent’s bed. Aunt Mary had probably dug them out from under the bed during her ‘inspection’.

Among them was a notebook with a white rose on the cover, but it was deliberately painted red with a red pen.

Karen casually flipped it open.

The first page had a drawing of three people – two adults and one child. Though the art was abstract, it was clear that the one on the left was the dad, right was the mom, and the middle was a child.

You could tell the middle one was a boy because he didn’t have long hair like the woman on the right to indicate any feminine characteristics.

“Nice drawing,” Karen said to Trent.

“Bro, this isn’t my notebook.”

“Not yours?”

In this room, if not Trent’s, then it could only be…Karen’s.

Karen thought about it but couldn’t recall this notebook from his memories.

But that was normal. Judging by the paper quality, the notebook was somewhat old. Though he had inherited Karen’s memories, naturally he couldn’t remember things Karen himself had already forgotten.

“Trent, time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed!” Aunt Mary’s shout came from the stairs.

Thankfully the Inmerales house was a standalone villa. If they lived in an apartment, the neighbors would have certainly complained about Auntie’s voice.

“Coming, Mom!” Trent shouted and ran out of the room.

Karen, on the other hand, sat on Trent’s spring bed, continuing to flip through the notebook.

The drawings on the second page did not differ much from those on the first; they were still a couple with a child in the middle.

The third page was the same.

Karen was growing bored, but when he turned to the fourth page, his brows furrowed slightly.

The fourth page was completely smeared black, with only a white circle left in the middle.

From a professional perspective analyzing children’s drawings, this piece showed the child who drew it had extremely low sense of security.

The black was also a protective color.

The pattern of this design conveyed a feeling similar to when as a child you feel fearful when it gets dark, you wrap yourself tightly in the blanket but leave a gap to look outside or breathe fresh air.

Of course, the feeling conveyed by this drawing was much more severe than that analogy.

Karen kept turning the pages. The next several pages were similar, just the blank circle was in slightly different positions – sometimes at the bottom, sometimes top, left, or right. 

After turning another page, Karen’s hand froze.

This page depicted a man and a woman lying down. Based on the previous drawings, they were supposed to be ‘dad’ and ‘mom’.

The fact that they were drawn horizontally indicated that they were lying down. Since one person in the drawing was drawn vertically, he was standing.

In the picture, ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ who were lying down had some kind of black masses extending from their abdomens. And the area around them was also smeared with black ink.

Karen couldn’t help swallowing.

Were those wounds… and is that fresh blood flowing out on the ground?

The one who was standing was an adult figure who had not appeared before. He was holding something in his hand.

Karen brought the notebook right up to his eyes, scrutinizing that object closely. For things drawn by a child, you often had to infer and guess.

“Is that a sword in his hand? It seems a bit too short to be a sword.”

Suddenly, the memory of the day he was returning from the hospital arose in Karen’s mind; when he helped his grandfather clean the burned skin on his arm and saw… a sword hilt that was inside the black box!

“Diss!”

“Yes?”

TL note: Hello, it’s me again. I’m thinking about changing ‘Luojia City’ to ‘Roja City’. Do you ‘people’ have any comments on that? Hmm? Look, I don’t have animosity toward you readers. It’s just that…. when someone’s asking for suggestions, you don’t just scoff and look the other way. What’s that? I’m being unnecessarily annoying? A translator needs to shut up and just translate? Alright, fine! I still like ‘Luojia City’ better, but…’Roja City’ seems appropriate based on the setting of this novel. I will go with Roja City then.