A child who looks like me

“Oppa.”

Jiheon lay there, seemingly unconscious and breathing heavily, when Jung-oh shook him and called out.

Haaah!

Only then did Jiheon seem to regain consciousness, gasping and blinking his eyes open.

Chae Eun-yeop’s image and voice…

Was it because of Chae Eun-yeop that I lost my memories?

Did Chae Eun-yeop manipulate my memories?

Jiheon shook his head.

He couldn’t definitively say it was Chae Eun-yeop’s doing. She wasn’t a magician, and one hypnosis session wouldn’t make him lose his memories. It must have been a series of unfortunate events.

Jiheon clicked on the next video. This one was similar but showed Chae Eun-yeop in different clothes, indicating it was on another day. The next three videos followed the same pattern, revealing that Chae Eun-yeop had attempted hypnosis multiple times.

…Was my life, my memories, destroyed by someone’s manipulation?

He found it hard to believe, and the realization left him feeling hollow, as if his mind and body had become paralyzed.

For the past seven years, without Jung-oh by his side, Jiheon had led a dull life. He had no dreams, nothing precious to hold onto, and thus wasn’t truly happy.

He thought it was inevitable since he had always lived that way. Losing three years’ worth of memories but not even considering retrieving them was a natural outcome, given how unremarkable his life felt.

Jiheon began to recall the story he had heard from Ham Dae-geun.

“Ham Dae-geun said something like this: Chae Eun-yeop is studying hypnosis to manipulate clients.”

“…”

“The moment I heard that, my head started to ache…”

Jung-oh leaned over and hugged Jiheon tightly, as if to encompass his pain, silently understanding without needing more words.

With his emotions settled in Jung-oh’s embrace, Jiheon clicked on the next video. The video was dated last Sunday.

It seemed to have been filmed at night; everything was dark around, and Chae Eun-yeop’s voice could be heard.

[“Let’s get rid of Jeong Ji-heon together. How about it? If you just do what I say, I’ll give you 1 billion won. Sounds tempting, doesn’t it?”]
[“What on earth are you talking about?”]
[“Don’t play dumb. I know everything.”]
[“You look tired; you should go home and rest.”]
[“Do you really think you’ll be safe? If you can’t handle this, Jiheon will kill you first!”]

It was a conversation between Eun-yeop and Bae-il. As Bae-il didn’t cooperate with her plans, Eun-yeop provoked him even more. The horrific content of the conversation made Jung-oh clench her fists, trembling.

“Bae-il… knew that Chae Eun-yeop was coming to kill me. He knew everything and still intervened…”

“…Officer Kwon came to our house and told us everything. He was the one responsible for the hit-and-run accident seven years ago and the one who tried to lure Ye-na.”

“Why? Didn’t he explain why?”

“…They say that 24 years ago, your mother put pressure on Officer Kwon’s mother. So he transferred from Seoul to a provincial area. His mother worked hard at her new job and passed away.”

Jung-oh carefully conveyed what she had heard from Bae-il.

Jiheon sighed deeply.

“It seemed like he regretted and reflected on the things he had done. I think his desire to protect you stemmed from that guilt he felt back then.”

But still, that was not enough.

He should have reported it. He could have warned that Chae Eun-yeop might do something bad.

“If he had, you and our entire family would have been uneasy all this time. You would have had a hard time keeping tabs on Chae Eun-yeop from multiple angles.”

Kwon Bae-il must have known that too.

Some conflicts can only be proven and resolved once the pus bursts and the blood is acknowledged.

Living life can be such great agony for someone who knows everything.

After a while, Jiheon, who had lost his words, clicked on the final file with difficulty.

The last file was a note. It was a short letter left by Bae-il for Jiheon.

“Jiheon…”

“I resented you a lot back then. That’s why I ruined your life.

I can’t turn back time, but I’ll set things right as best I can now.

I’ve already handed all the materials over to the police. They will help you.”

The short, straightforward letter without a single word of apology felt like a knife piercing Jiheon’s heart.

By saying he had turned everything over to the police, it meant he was taking responsibility for the traffic accident he caused seven years ago.

“So that’s why he resigned…” Jiheon muttered in a dazed voice.

***

Bae-il spent several days in the intensive care unit.

His life as Yoo Soo-il, living as Kwon Bae-il, must have been extremely burdensome, as no family members came to visit him. Currently, contact had been established with his stepmother, Bae-il’s aunt, but all she did was sigh without even promising to visit.

Eun-yeop was in another hospital. She, too, was reported to be unconscious, and it seemed it would be better if she didn’t wake up, as the world had been cruel to her.

The police had discovered over 5 billion won in cash that Eun-yeop had hidden in Incheon, and two members of the National Assembly who had received money from her were also being investigated.

Additionally, how Eun-yeop’s attempted murder charges leaked to the press became a fast-breaking news story. People mocked Eun-yeop, who was unable to wake up, saying that she was trying to kill someone while sleeping peacefully.

Because of the reporters, Eun-bi and her mother seemed unable to visit Eun-yeop in the hospital.

Jung-oh was worried about Eun-bi.

“She’s not even alone. The world gives such immense trials.”

Huuuh…

“So, will the ground swallow me up?”

National Assemblyman Kook-soon chimed in as Jung-oh frequently let out heavy sighs. Sitting at the kitchen counter with her chin propped up, Jung-oh munched on the food her mother had prepared while complaining.

“Mom, I wanted to be like you, but I have to admit that I’m just a bad person.”

She had wanted to be a generous person like her mother, but she couldn’t help but feel resentment building up inside her.

Even though Kwon Bae-il had sacrificed himself to save her husband, it was hard to feel only gratitude.

My seven years, my husband’s seven years, and Ye-na’s seven years.

It was infuriating that Bae-il had kept quiet all along despite knowing everything from the beginning. So, even though his life was pitiable, she couldn’t just feel sorry for him.

“It’s easy to be angry, but why is it so hard to feel? Even though it’s free, it’s still difficult, Mom.”

“How can feeling be free? You’re bearing all the consequences that come after.”

Kook-soon replied, seeming to understand Jung-oh’s lament.

“But can you hate him?”

“…”

“Can you really hate him?”

But soon came the follow-up question. Her mother knew that her daughter didn’t have it in her to hate someone deeply. Even though Jung-oh had said she didn’t seem to resemble her mother’s personality, her mother knew there was no one who resembled her more than Jung-oh did.

Jung-oh slumped her shoulders, looking unsure, and confessed her feelings.

“There are parts I can’t forgive. I’m still human.”

“That’s true.”

“…But there’s not a single good thing about my anger.”

“…”

“Feeling hatred doesn’t bring relief. It just continues to hurt, Mom.”

Although Bae-il’s life was pitiful, she still found him despicable, and his tragic life only caused her more pain.

“I, who have always felt secure and happy because of you, how could I ever understand the heart of someone who has lost their mother?”

Through someone else’s misfortune, one realizes their own happiness. Even knowing that feeling this way isn’t right, it’s simply human nature.

“Mom, I love you.”

Suddenly, the thought struck her that she was living such a happy life, and she confessed her love to Kook-soon. At her daughter’s unexpected confession, Kook-soon’s nose flared, and her eyes widened, as if she had just heard a serenade from a pig.

“Why are we talking about this? You should say that to your husband more!”

“If a daughter risks embarrassment to say it, can’t you accept it a bit more nicely? I love you enough to take that risk, Mom. Huh?”

“Alright, enough!”

Kook-soon raised her voice, not sounding like herself at all. Eventually, she dropped the spatula she had been holding and turned away to open the sink cabinet for no reason.

Jung-oh quickly chased after her and looked into her face.

“Hey? Ms. Kook-soon, are you crying?”

“I’m not crying!”

“Looks like you’re crying.”

Jung-oh teased her mother while pulling her into a tight hug. Kook-soon twisted her body away, as if annoyed.

“Get off me. It’s gross.”

“Mom, I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“Stop it!”

Kook-soon couldn’t hold back her embarrassment and shouted when the phone rang. It was a call from the hospital.

***

Bae-il opened his eyes after five days. It felt like he had been dreaming for a long time, but he couldn’t remember the contents of the dream. His body felt surprisingly light. It was a bit strenuous, but he was able to converse reasonably well.

After being moved from the intensive care unit to a general ward and undergoing various tests, it was already evening. The doctor remarked that his recovery was miraculously fast. He casually asked if there was no guardian present, to which the nurse replied that a friend had been visiting him continuously.

The new room was a VIP ward. Upon seeing the room, Bae-il couldn’t help but think of Jiheon.

As expected, Jung-oh came to visit around dinner time.

“Jiheon will be here soon.”

Jung-oh spoke as if anticipating that Bae-il would ask first.

She spoke dryly, deliberately not smiling. In fact, Jung-oh had come with a purpose. She felt she needed to vent her feelings to genuinely care for him.

“I can’t say thank you.”

She put on a stern expression, even omitting the usual question about his health. Although she had asked the nurse about his condition beforehand to avoid asking that question.

“Inspector, you wore that hat, didn’t you?”

She pointed out something that needed addressing.

On the Monday when Bae-il visited Jung-oh’s house and confessed everything, he had worn a hat—the same hat worn by the woman who had tried to kidnap Ye-na.

At Jung-oh’s comment, Bae-il’s eyes widened.

“You were trying to scare me! Do you think I wouldn’t know?”

That’s why Jung-oh felt resentment towards Bae-il. Even though he had come to apologize, wearing that hat made it hard for her to understand his intentions, leaving her mind in turmoil.

“Then you just suddenly apologize and tell me not to forgive you, all while risking your life to make amends. How low of you.”

“…”

“Inspector, you’re too unilateral.”

He had judged her life according to his own standards.

He had fabricated the kidnapping incident to frighten her, thinking Jiheon wouldn’t be needed by Jung-oh.

He had known everything about the events seven years ago but kept it hidden.

However, considering his life, she could understand that too. He must have been unable to share his thoughts with anyone, leading him to think and judge alone. How could she wholly hate someone who had been so lonely and tormented?

Jung-oh, who had been straining her eyes, eventually lowered her head. She felt a wave of nausea, and the thought of shouting at him only made her heart ache more.

“…I’m sorry for criticizing you right away. You must still be in a lot of pain.”

“…”

“Actually, forgiving someone requires as much courage as saying sorry…”

Her voice came out quietly.

“I forgive everything. And I’m sorry too…”

“…”

“And I’m very grateful for saving Jiheon. But please, don’t throw yourself into someone else’s affairs again. Recover quickly, stay healthy, and live life to the fullest. Do you understand?”

“…”

“Also, make a beautiful family. Since you’re good-looking, any kids you have will surely be beautiful like you.”

Tears glistened in her eyes, but Bae-il smiled as if he found it interesting to watch her.

Suddenly, Jung-oh felt worried about his condition.

“Why are you just smiling and not saying anything? Can you not speak?”

Just as Jung-oh got up from her chair and stepped closer to Bae-il, the door opened, and Jiheon entered.