A Ninja Calamity is a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts

"Are you sure you'll be alright on such a mission? As far as we know, this Wizarding World sounds like another hidden nation we know nothing about. It differs from the outside world we often interact with…are you even listening to me?"

Black eyes glanced up from a bored face. The teenager, who hardly looked older than ten, yawned as the Hokage spoke.

Even though the old man was discussing serious matters, the child couldn't help but feel uninterested.

"Come on, gramps! I got this. I'm sure I'll be fine. This magic stuff can't be that different from our chakra. And if it is…well, I'm a quick learner. I'll adapt. I'm sure my old man will somehow make me."

Tired eyes regarded the boy standing before him. Kakashi Hatake, the Sixth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village, had dealt with plenty of unruly shinobi in his time. Yet, he swore he had never encountered anyone as clever—or as infuriating—as the boy before him.

Kouchi Uchiha.

Or rather, Kouchi, the ninja born from Orochimaru's twisted experiments—an amalgamation of the strongest ninja clans' genetics combined with strange, unknown powers the mad scientist had uncovered. No one truly understood Kouchi's capabilities or limits, but one thing was clear—he was a ticking time bomb.

Under normal circumstances, Kakashi would have selected someone else for this top-secret mission. But the peculiar nature of the job, coupled with the specific requirements outlined in the urgent request for aid, left him no choice but to send Kouchi.

It wasn't that Kouchi was incompetent. Quite the opposite.

The boy was a genius, surpassing most Jonin in skill despite his young age—though only the elite could rival him. The issue was that Kouchi was uncontrollable.

The Uchiha name was bestowed upon him only because no one else wanted the responsibility. Those who expressed interest were after his power, not because they intended to care for him.

"Fine. I'll trust you this one time, kid! You better not make a mess of this mission. If you do well, I'll let you participate in the Ninja Academy's summer course."

That caught Kouchi's attention.

He had heard plenty about that prestigious course and found it intriguing. Few kids were willing to associate with him due to who—and what—he was. Even Mitsuki, his kind foster brother, kept his distance most of the time.

"Keep that promise, old man! I'll finish this mission in no time. Just watch me."

Kouchi snatched the mission file and bolted.

"I'm not old; my hair's just naturally white! I'm only in my forties—" Kakashi began, then stopped himself, exhaling heavily.

There was something about that boy that got under everyone's skin. Maybe it was his sharp tongue or his pretty, androgynous face that confused people.

Or perhaps it was because Kouchi was simply impossible.

"Well, he's someone else's problem now. Good luck to whoever has to deal with that kid," Kakashi muttered before returning to his endless paperwork.

...

Bored black eyes scanned the old-fashioned London streets surrounding him. The place looked dull, cloudy, and steeped in muted shades of black and brown.

"What a strange place. I can hear sounds from beyond these walls and sense an odd energy separating spaces. But most of these people seem unaware of it. They must be the 'normal' ones. Best not to attract attention."

Kouchi carried only a small money pouch and his identification papers. According to his mission briefing, he could acquire everything he needed for school in the designated shopping area.

His destination was Diagon Alley, where he was supposed to meet someone named Hagrid. The briefing, however, failed to explain exactly how to find the mysterious alley.

Kouchi decided to follow the distinct energy signatures he sensed—people wielding the strange power that seemed to permeate the area. He watched as they approached a brick wall and tapped it with stick-like tools, opening a passage.

"Must be some kind of genjutsu," Kouchi mused, noting how the ordinary passersby failed to notice the magical entryway.

He considered mimicking the magical signature to gain entry but decided against wasting chakra. His arsenal of Kekkei Genkai techniques made following the crowd easy enough.

Within moments, he stepped into a bustling, magical street filled with robed figures and strange shops. An electric energy buzzed in the air, both fascinating and unsettling.

Before he could fully take in his surroundings, someone grabbed him from behind and thrust a small black box into his hand.

The object radiated the same strange energy that filled the area.

Kouchi spun around, meeting the mischievous grins of two identical red-haired teenagers.

"Are you new here—"

"—Because if you are—"

"—We've got something incredible to show you!"

A bad feeling crawled up Kouchi's spine. Without hesitation, he hurled the mysterious box back at the twins.

It exploded in a cloud of red powder, drawing every eye in the street.

Kouchi held his head high despite the attention.

He wasn't about to let anyone think they could mess with him.