A Ninja Calamity is a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts

Kouchi walked through the labyrinthine halls of Hogwarts, his steps deliberate as he neared the Headmaster's office. He wasn't entirely sure what he expected from this meeting, but he hoped it would give him some clarity about his assignment.

As he reached the spot indicated in the report, he came face to face with… a statue. A stone gargoyle loomed before him, its grotesque features frozen in a permanent sneer. Kouchi stood there for a moment, unimpressed, before he spoke.

"Move," he ordered flatly.

The gargoyle, unsurprisingly, remained unmoved.

Kouchi frowned, feeling the distinct hum of magic resonating from the statue. It was a seal, designed to prevent unauthorized entry. He sighed, crossing his arms. "Great. Another delay," he thought. He wasn't in the mood for this.

He looked around, wondering if there was some kind of trick to it, but the corridor was empty. Deciding he'd had enough of playing games, Kouchi placed his hand against the statue. His chakra flared, invisible to the untrained eye but powerful enough to make the gargoyle tremble slightly under his touch.

He closed his eyes, allowing his chakra to flow through the seal's magical structure, searching for its weak points. Within seconds, he located the keystone of the enchantment. With a sharp infusion of chakra, he overrode the spell. The magic dissipated with a soft crack, and the gargoyle slid aside, revealing a spiraling staircase.

Kouchi smirked faintly to himself. "Too easy."

The staircase carried him upward, and soon he found himself standing before a grand oak door. He pushed it open without knocking, stepping into the Headmaster's office as if he owned the place.

Albus Dumbledore, seated at his desk and perusing a stack of parchments, looked up in mild surprise. His blue eyes twinkled behind his half-moon glasses, though the amusement didn't quite reach his expression.

"Well, well," Dumbledore said, his voice calm but curious. "Mr. Uchiha, I wasn't expecting you to bypass my gargoyle quite so… creatively."

Kouchi shrugged, stepping further into the room. His eyes flicked over the shelves of books, the whirring silver instruments, and finally, the phoenix perched elegantly on a stand near the desk. "It wasn't hard," he replied casually. "Your security's a little outdated."

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose at the comment, but he chose to focus on something else. "I'm more curious as to how you managed it. That particular enchantment has baffled even the most skilled wizards."

Kouchi smirked, leaning against the edge of the desk. "I used my special magic."

Dumbledore's lips twitched as if suppressing a smile. "Special magic, you say?" he echoed. "How intriguing."

"It's a secret," Kouchi added dryly, his tone carrying a faint hint of humor.

But Dumbledore wasn't amused. "Mr. Uchiha, while I appreciate your confidence, this is a matter of some importance. I would prefer honesty over jest."

Kouchi shrugged again, clearly unbothered. He wasn't about to explain chakra to someone who wouldn't understand it. His attention shifted, his gaze locking onto the phoenix. The creature's fiery plumage shimmered, and it let out a soft, melodic trill that sent a shiver down his spine.

"Is that… a phoenix?" Kouchi asked, his voice softening with genuine curiosity.

Dumbledore followed his gaze. "Ah, yes. This is Fawkes, my companion. A remarkable creature, isn't he?"

Kouchi didn't respond immediately. He stepped closer to the phoenix, his usual detached demeanor giving way to fascination. Fawkes tilted his head, observing Kouchi with intelligent, golden eyes. For a brief moment, the room seemed to hold its breath.

"I've never seen anything like it," Kouchi murmured, reaching out a hand but stopping just short of touching the bird. The warmth radiating from Fawkes was unlike anything he'd felt before. It wasn't just physical heat; it was something deeper, something… alive.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, breaking the moment. "Mr. Uchiha, while I'm pleased you find Fawkes interesting, we have matters to discuss."

Kouchi reluctantly turned away from the phoenix, his expression slipping back into its usual neutrality. "Right. My mission. Let's get this over with."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled again, though his tone remained serious. "You've been sent here to protect Harry Potter. That is your primary objective."

Kouchi raised an eyebrow. "Protect him? That's not what I was told."

The Headmaster tilted his head. "Then what were you told?"

Kouchi crossed his arms. "I'm here to keep an eye on things. Anything beyond that isn't my problem. If something happens to Potter—or any other student—it's not my job to step in."

Dumbledore's calm facade faltered slightly. "Mr. Uchiha, Harry is no ordinary student. He faces threats that—"

"Not my problem," Kouchi interrupted, his tone blunt. "I'm not a babysitter. If you wanted someone to coddle him, you should've asked for someone else."

The Headmaster's expression hardened, though he kept his composure. "You may not think it's your responsibility, but as someone entrusted with this mission, I would hope you understand the gravity of the situation."

Kouchi didn't reply. Instead, his eyes wandered back to Fawkes, who let out another soft trill. The sound was soothing, almost hypnotic, and Kouchi found himself tuning out Dumbledore's words. The phoenix was far more interesting than anything the old man had to say.

"Mr. Uchiha," Dumbledore said sharply, snapping Kouchi's attention back to him. "I trust you're listening."

Kouchi met his gaze, his expression unreadable. "Of course, Headmaster," he said, though the lie was obvious.

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed slightly, but he let the matter drop. "Very well. Just remember, this school and its students are under my protection. I expect you to assist in that regard."

"Noted," Kouchi said flatly, pushing off the desk. "Are we done here?"

The Headmaster studied him for a long moment, as if trying to decipher the enigma before him. Finally, he nodded. "For now. But I trust we'll speak again soon."

Kouchi gave a noncommittal grunt, his attention already drifting back to Fawkes. Without waiting for dismissal, he turned and left the office, the door closing softly behind him.

As he descended the spiraling staircase, Kouchi couldn't help but smirk to himself. He'd handled the meeting exactly as he'd planned—giving Dumbledore just enough to leave him satisfied while keeping his true intentions and abilities hidden.

But as much as he hated to admit it, the old man had a point. Harry Potter might not be his problem, but Hogwarts was proving to be far more unpredictable than he'd anticipated.

"Let's see how long I can keep this up," Kouchi thought as he disappeared into the shadows of the castle.