A Ninja Calamity is a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts

Kouchi studied the buff man with deadpan eyes as he introduced him to the kid in front of him.

He could instinctively tell that he was supposed to react to the name 'Harry Potter.' Kouchi had read the report enough times to understand the importance of this child. However, Harry didn't feel special, and as far as Kouchi was concerned, that made him uninteresting.

"Oh, I see! Hello! My name is Uchiha Kouchi! It's nice to meet you, Harry! Can I call you that? Or would you prefer Potter? Any name will do. Or something else entirely—"

Kouchi rattled off these questions at a rapid pace. His curiosity was genuine, but his primary goal was to gauge Harry's reactions. Talking quickly and sometimes annoyingly was a perfect way to test someone's character, to see if they were quick-tempered or adaptable.

Harry, however, seemed slow to respond, his awkwardness palpable. He wasn't what Kouchi had expected.

"Woah! Calm down, kid!" Hagrid boomed, rubbing Harry's back in an attempt to calm him down before glaring at Kouchi. "You're gonna overwhelm Harry with all your questions."

Kouchi pretended not to notice the glare. He could tell it disappointed Hagrid, who likely thought Kouchi was dense for not catching on to the hints that Harry was special. But Kouchi wasn't about to treat Harry as special until that was actually proven to be the case.

"Alright, let's get you fitted for your school robes first, and then we can sort out the wands. How does that sound?" Hagrid asked merrily, though Harry remained silent, offering no input.

Kouchi noticed that Harry seemed to lack a backbone for someone who was supposed to be special, with no clear opinions of his own. He didn't take the lead here, not wanting to blow his cover. It was best to let the adults handle things and act like a child—no need to raise any suspicions.

Hagrid led them to a costume shop that looked like something out of Halloween. It was old-fashioned and cramped, with people of all kinds coming out in various robes. Kouchi made a mental note to always wear comfortable clothes under these robes, as he'd be ditching them the first chance he got.

"You two get your robes fitted while I go grab your books. Don't cause too much trouble, or I won't be able to bail you out," Hagrid teased, but his attention was mostly focused on Harry.

It was clear there was a double standard at play, but Kouchi didn't care. He had no intention of pointing it out. He simply had to keep up the act and pretend to be clueless.

The shop was relatively empty, save for a blonde boy sitting on a table. His presence was striking, and Kouchi couldn't help but notice the clear air of superiority he carried. The boy looked like the type of pampered young master from an old noble family, and Kouchi couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu.

'This kid's going to be a pain, isn't he? Most kids from well-established houses are full of themselves,' Kouchi thought to himself as he took a seat next to Harry.

The blonde boy and Harry exchanged a few words while Kouchi remained silent, listening intently. Harry seemed more uncomfortable than Kouchi expected, but he didn't retaliate against the blonde boy. That lack of response must have been discouraging, because the blonde's attention soon shifted to Kouchi.

"Hey, you! You look like you're from a well-respected family! Are you a pure-blood too? Which family do you belong to? I'm a Malfoy!" the blonde boasted, flaunting his family name as though it were some great achievement.

Kouchi found the whole idea amusing. He had no idea what it meant to be "pure-blood" or to come from a prestigious family. In his world, clans and bloodlines were important, but not in the way they seemed to be here.

"Are you asking me which family I belong to?" Kouchi asked, grinning mischievously. "I don't have one! Or rather, I have too many! I think I might even have your family's blood in me somewhere."

Kouchi joked, but Malfoy's expression shifted, growing serious as he regarded Kouchi with a troubled look.

"I know all my cousins, but I've never seen you before… Are you related to the Blacks? It would explain your black hair and eyes. Who are your parents? Which branch of the Blacks? Which—"

"Woah! Calm down. My folks are kinda dead. They died in a war… I think," Kouchi interrupted with a nonchalant shrug. "I don't really remember. And my guardian's too busy to tell me much."

That wasn't exactly a lie. Orochimaru had died a few times during the war and had found a way to return. It was an incredible feat, though Kouchi had little interest in learning more about it. He certainly didn't want to follow in the mad scientist's footsteps.

Malfoy fell silent after Kouchi's response, the awkward tension filling the room. No one spoke until it was time for Malfoy to leave.

The blonde walked over to a woman—also blonde—and pointed toward Kouchi. She regarded Kouchi with narrowed eyes before raising her wand.

An invisible energy tried to breach Kouchi's chakra shield, and though he allowed it to pass through, he let it take just a small handful of his hair, a slight tug that signaled to him that Malfoy was trying to uncover the truth behind his earlier words.

Kouchi smirked inwardly. Malfoy had fallen for the trap, believing Kouchi's lie. The blonde would only feel disappointment once he realized Kouchi had been fabricating everything.

The energy from the woman didn't harm him, but it was a futile attempt. Malfoy was determined to unearth the truth, but Kouchi knew he wouldn't get far. The blonde would never understand how deeply Kouchi's lies ran.