Alpha Strike: [An interstellar Weapon Platform’s Guide to being a Dungeon Core] (Book 2 title)

B2 – Lesson 21: “Not Even Conquerors can Escape the Bureaucracy.”



The man kneeling in the middle of the room was silent, their glassy eyes staring down at the ground. In contrast, the crowd behind them, separated by a low barrier, yelled and cursed, several throwing small stones at the man. Whether the man didn’t respond due to fear and shock, or simply because of his higher cultivation, Antchaser didn’t know. He highly doubted it was because of guilt, however. The man kneeling in the dirt wasn’t the first to try to justify their actions that day.

A voice cut through the sound of the roaring crowd. A flat, monotone voice that felt somehow… wrong to Antchaser’s ears, “Order! Order!”

When the room grew silent, the source of the voice, one of three large ants sitting behind a tall podium, turned and addressed the young woman to one side. “Thank you, Ms. Weaver, for your testimony. Bailiff, please escort the witness.”

The ‘bailiff,’ a hunter in full combat gear, stood and gently led the weeping goblin woman back into the crowd, where she was embraced by her remaining family.

The three ants, whom Alpha claimed were controlled by ‘Federation-approved Judicial AI,’ froze. Antchaser had seen the sight enough times that day to know the strange creatures were communicating with each other in their own way.

“I still don’t see why we must go through all this…” Antchaser asked, not to himself, but to the small wasp-like insect on his shoulder.

Alpha, controlling the [Wasp], responded. “Because, my dear boy, I don’t need the brass breathing down my neck when they look through my logs and see I didn’t go through the proper steps.”

Antchaser waved his hand and complained, “What’s the point though?! They’re bandits! You know that, I know that. Why not simply execute them and get it over with?!”

Alpha sighed, “Yes. They are. Yet Federation law states any captured hostile combatants have the right to defend themselves in trial.” Well, that was the official stance. Anyone who’d spent any length of time in the Federation military knew that the Federation didn’t like to execute bandits.

It was a waste of resources.

Captured bandits would often be assigned work detail as scouts or miners on the fringes of Federation space, where the infrastructure didn’t support larger drone operations. After all, why risk the lives of lawful soldiers and civilians in such dangerous places, when you had plenty of ‘volunteers’ able to do the work instead? Some of the lucky or more skilled ones even managed to survive to the end of their sentence! It was a win-win for everyone — other than the ones that got eaten, of course.

Regardless, Alpha could understand where the goblin man was coming from. They’d been at this all day, and only a handful of these ‘Adventurers’ had shown any kind of remorse for their actions. Even for bandits, it was strange.

“Why this circus, though?” Antchaser said. “Why create these—” he waved to the ants behind the podium, “—’judges’? Why not simply do so yourself?”

Alpha shrugged. “I don’t have the authority to pass legal judgment.”

“…. but you made them,” Antchaser responded.

“I did.” Alpha nodded.

“How does that even work?!” The goblin exhaled, cupping his head in his hands.

Alpha patted the young goblin on his shoulder. “Welcome to the world of bureaucracy, my friend. I would tell you to run, but it’s already too late.”

It had been a week since they’d recaptured the village, and Antchaser was still coming to terms with some of the Dungeon Core’s… eccentricities. The legends and stories always spoke of how Dungeon Cores were powerful masters of their realm. Beings who held life and death in their hands and judged the worthy.

To learn that such a being was beholden to other powers had come as a shock. More so since the ways of this ‘Federation’ were almost as strange as Alpha themselves.

If it wasn’t for the powerful artifacts and strange mysteries he’d witnessed, Antchaser would have questioned if the Dungeon Core wasn’t simply insane. He didn’t even know that was possible! Not for the first time that week did Antchaser internally question if he had made the right choice in seeking aid from Alpha.

“Why exactly do they have to wear those outfits?” Antchaser asked, gesturing to the ant judge’s flowing, silky black robes and the large, powdered wigs sitting on each of their heads.

“…. Tradition,” Alpha responded.

“…. Right.” Antchaser shook his head and chose to stop asking questions. Partly for his own mental health, and partly because the ant judges twitched back to life at that moment.

“Ki’tan of the Duststalker Clan,” the middle ant judge spoke. “This court finds you… Guilty of all charges brought against you, including, but not limited to, banditry, assault, theft, destruction of property, and resisting arrest by a Federation-approved militia force. In accordance with Federation law, you are sentenced to 50 standard years of hard labor. Due to current circumstances outside the control of this court, your sentence will be postponed, and custody will be passed to the Federation Expeditionary Force under [SEAU - 01] Lieutenant Colonel ALPHA-555-12-4412, until such time that proper accommodations can be met. Good behavior may warrant time served; petitions can be made after 10 years.” The judge finished their decree by banging the small wooden mallet that Alpha had carved out of the strange root system found in the ant colony.

Alpha thought the small shower of blue sparks the action produced was a nice, if unintentional, touch.

Internally, he was smiling. The verdict was just what he had been hoping for. Alpha wasn’t lying to Antchaser when he said he had no proper control over the court. According to Antchaser, the Adventurers of Halirosa, while a large part of the city-state’s military force, weren’t officially part of their standing army. Instead, they were closer to mercenaries or private security groups. As such, their actions against the goblin village fell under banditry instead of military action.

On one hand, this meant their punishment was far more likely to stick, with no chance of outside forces legally being able to intervene. On the other hand, that also meant their crimes were criminal offenses instead of military offenses, meaning Alpha didn’t have the authority to try or detain them. If they attacked him, he could label them as hostile combatants and put a bullet in them. But if they were captured or surrendered, things became… complicated.

Sure, in his capacity as [SEAU - 01], there were certain exceptions he could fall on. If he saw someone kill someone in cold blood right in front of him, Alpha had full authority to make a judgment call. Or if he was working alongside friendly native forces, as in the Radiant Sea. Yet, with him still recovering from the soul damage, Alpha didn’t fully trust himself yet when it came to matters like this.

There was also the benefit of public opinion from not simply shooting everyone who crossed him.

Thus the judge AIs.

They weren’t anything fancy, being standard operational AIs, but they were legally allowed to make rulings in criminal cases, as long as an authorized sapient being oversaw the process and okayed the rulings. A job Alpha did have the authority for. AI trials were standard practice in the Federation, and there were dozens of layers of checks and balances to ensure fair and impartial judgments.

That said, the ruling gave Alpha the authority to use the bandits in any capacity he wished. As long as he didn’t violate any sapient rights acts. That was fine. Alpha had… practice with making the best use of bandits while skirting around such restrictions.

Ki’tan barely reacted when the goblin hunters pulled him to his feet, though that wasn’t uncommon. The bandits — Antchaser refused to think of these people as ‘Adventurers’ any longer — had all had various reactions to their trials and sentences. Some had lashed out with rage and violence. Others had simply stared into space, as if their minds couldn’t handle the reality of their situation.

Only one of the two dozen or so captured bandits had truly shocked either of them.

The bandit’s healer, Maria by name, had approached the judge’s bench with her head held high. She was an older woman, not quite to the extent he would call her a grandmother, yet far older, physically, than any other in the group. She had stood quietly and listened to the charges brought against her. When asked to explain her actions and role with the bandits, the woman claimed to be an independent healer hired by Bosco for their expedition.

That made some sense to Antchaser. Healers were highly sought after, and he doubted the man could have poached any of Icefinger’s healers for something like this. Not that the goblin felt that excused her actions in helping the bandits, however. Yet, to Antchaser’s surprise, several goblins from the village had actually testified on behalf of the woman.

While she was callous to the goblin’s plight, that hadn’t stopped her from accepting payment from them to treat some of the more serious wounds caused by the bandit’s... fun. Her services weren’t cheap, but it was not a stretch to say that she saved many of their lives, including several of the village elders.

Ultimately, she received the lightest sentence out of them all: 5 years of community service, whatever that meant.

Alpha had only shrugged and said, “Meh. The medics always get off light. They had to be pretty deranged to really get more than a slap on the hand, most of the time.”

Antchaser found that to be a poor excuse but chose not to question it. He was quickly learning that this ‘Federation’s’ standards didn’t quite align with what he was familiar with. Whether or not that was a good thing, only time would tell, he figured.

As Ki’tan was led out of the makeshift courtroom, the final bandit of the day was brought in.

The room grew silent as Boarslayer herself led the man through the doors. His arms were restrained behind him in a strange device that Alpha had custom-made for him. It looked little more than a large metal tube with the man’s arms sticking out to either side, but Alpha assured them that nothing he could do would let him escape.

Bosco stumbled slightly as Boarslayer yanked on the large chain wrapped around his neck, the woman grinning from ear to ear. While he was still a giant of a man, Bosco almost looked like a totally different person to Antchaser. Gone were the massive, bulging muscles and the body rippling with contained power. Between the sunken cheeks, exposed ribs, and frail limbs, the man being led down the courtroom aisle looked like he hadn’t eaten for months.

The worst sight was the massive, round scar in the middle of his chest. The man’s thin frame was such that you could even see where the ribs and sternum simply… vanished. How anyone survived something like that was beyond Antchaser’s understanding. Whatever technique Bosco had used to survive Boarslayer’s final blow, had obviously cost him dearly.

None of the goblins muttered a word as Bosco was forced to his knees in the middle of the room. Not out of fear, of course, no. Instead, every single eye bore into the back of the man’s head with an intensity that would have driven lesser men into uncontrollable shivers.

The attending bailiffs even had to stop a few goblins from climbing over the separating barrier.

The ant judge wasted no time in speaking. “Bosco of Halirosa. Regarding the numerous charges placed against you, of which this court finds it a waste of time to list all of them, we find you guilty on all counts.”

Bosco only smirked, his voice ragged and dry as he spoke. “What, don’t I get a fancy trial like the rest of the trash? Not gonna drag some… goblin—” Bosco spit the word out of his mouth like he was chewing a dirty rag, “—in front of everyone and listen to some petty complaint? Or have you decided you’re tired of playing at being civili—”

Bosco’s words were cut off as Boarslayer’s fist slammed into his jaw. The courtroom erupted into cheers. The man crumbled to the floor, and Boarslayer got in two more solid strikes, before the ant judge’s gavel came down, throwing out more blue sparks. “Order! Order! Bailiff Boarslayer, the court asks that you leave the defended at least able to respond to questioning.”

Boarslayer paused, fist mid-swing, then stared up at the judge, her eyes narrowing. For a moment, Antchaser feared the woman would ignore the order, but to his surprise, she stood up and stepped away. Not before delivering one last kick to the man’s side, however.

Bosco pushed himself up as best as he could with his arms restrained, and spit out a mouth full of blood. He then had the audacity to actually laugh. “Do you fools think this is over?! Not a chance. I’m one of Icefinger’s enforcers! You bastards have no idea how badly you’ve screwed up! Once Icefinger hears of this, this entire cavern will be nothing more than a frozen wasteland, and I’ll use your bodies to cool my—AHHHHAAAAUUUUGG!”

The metallic ‘tattoo’ circling Bosco’s neck sparked to life. Lightning flickered across his body and the large man violently spasmed. After a few seconds, the arcs stopped and Bosco fell limp, panting as his ragged clothes smoked slightly.

The judge then continued their proclamations. “Mr. Bosco, your trial has been ongoing since these proceedings began. Both the victim’s testimonies and your accomplice’s confessions have been duly noted. It is this court’s opinion that reiterating the facts already established would be a waste of its time. Thus, we find you guilty of all charges previously stated. Due to the heinous nature of your charges, you will be assigned to indefinite confinement under the supervision of [SEAU - 01] until such times that your case can be brought to a higher court.”

The room erupted, joyful weeping intermingling with outraged yells into a chaotic roar. Antchaser wasn’t surprised that the reactions were so mixed.

Many felt the same as Boarslayer. That the man should have been killed last week when they retook the village. Others were simply happy that this nightmare was over.

{I’m not sure what to think…} Antchaser thought to himself. Intellectually, he understood why Alpha had done what he had. Yet another part of him would have cheered to see Boarslayer finish the man off that night.

“Order! Order!” the judge called out. Then, when the room had settled down some, they continued. “Bailiffs! Please remove the defendant from the room.”

Boarslayer picked up the chain and threw it over her shoulder, dragging Bosco out of the room like a sack of potatoes. Two other bailiffs rushed to support the man by his arms so that he didn’t choke to death, though Antchaser questioned if they really put any effort into it.

Antchaser watched the scene with a frown and only looked away when Alpha spoke. “What’s wrong? Does his warning worry you?”

Antchaser’s frown deepened, and he answered, “I’m… not sure. Icefinger is more of a boogyman than anything. At least outside of Halirosa. Sure, you’ll hear about his men harassing villages, both Surface and Deep, from time to time, but it’s always a ‘that’ll never happen to us’ type of thing. However, I know the man can be vindictive, if the stories are true. Given that, and the value of this cavern… I think… I think what Bosco said might not be too far from the truth…”

Alpha paused, considering what the goblin had said. After a moment, he responded. “Well, then… I think it’s time you and I had a little… talk about this Icefinger fellow.”

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