Archangels of War

"You made the wrong choice, Raiden." Yuki voice found me as I returned back toward the basement. As I walked, I knocked over my wand, causing the long black sword to clatter across the ground in front of me. It landed in front of me, and the heart that was etched unto the blade faced me. It was a grim reminder of everything that I would give up, that I would lose, because of the decision I had made. 

It's all for the best. This is the only way to make sure that Kami never cries again. That she's never hurt again.

This time it was my own voice that spoke to me. No, it had always been my own voice. I had simply been trying to hide from the realization I had come to about myself. This was made evident by the fact that after a bit, my dad's voice became my own. 

"This was the only option." I muttered quietly, as I picked up the blade, flipping it over so that I couldn't see the heart anymore. I set the wand down, before returning back to my seat. Yuki was looking down at me sadly. She also clutched her pendant closely. 

"Was it the only option, or the easiest option." I knew exactly what she meant by that. What she was trying to insinuate. I knew that she was right as well. I had gone as far to make the realization myself. 

"Anything I would have said at that time would have done nothing to help. You know that better than me that reassurance from me is as good as no reassurance at all." I tried to explain, attempted to give a reason, but in truth, it was just an excuse. However, it was necessary. 

Yuki shook her head with a sigh. "You still don't get it? Don't you think that your sister would have understood you better than anyone else? If you had just tried. If you had attempted to console her, even if your attempts were pathetic, that would have done much more for her that you think. That would have been enough to bring a smile to her face." 

All I was able to get from that sentence was that Kami was already used to my weakness. My incompetence. It was only more of a reason for me to make this decision. If I was useless at anything else that could help her, the least I could do was help her in the way I can. Be the perfect sword and shield for her. 

Yuki looked away from the screen for a few and muted herself. From what I could see, it was clear that she was talking to somebody, but I couldn't tell who. After which, she turned back to the screen with an indescribable expression on her face. She unmuted herself and began to speak. 

"Raiden. On Saturday, you father and mother would like for you and Kami to return to the house." 

*** 

The news of my father's request had not left my mind, even next morning. I arrived at Mrs. Elmers class early, much to her dismay. I took my seat in the VIP chair, and simply staired at the wall. Ms. Elmer had tried a few times to ask if I knew anything about the situation at the mall just outside of the magic academy, which involved three of Theta Magic academies students." Everyone had heard of it. I had made national news. The entirety of the media's work to try and cover up the massive ravine between magicians and humans was all burned away in an instant. 

I lied. I told her I had no connection to anyone from the incident. I was sure that she saw through my lie, however she didn't say anything else. At some point, Hikaru and Masayoshi had arrived. After greeting them good morning, I attempted to keep to myself. As expected, Masayoshi and Hikaru were discussing the topic of the terrorist attack. As expected, Masayoshi posed a question about justice. 

"According to witness testimonies, when the terrorists approached, they made a mention of the fact that they were, 'the judges and the executioners.'" Masayoshi put that part in air quotes. "I think it's pretty obvious that you can't claim to be a sort of justice, and then take hostages, and shoot people." Masayoshi's voiced remained calm and measured, in spite of the kind of topic he was discussing.

Hikaru looked down a bit sadly. In her voice, you could hear how affected she had been by this news. "I thank god that there were no casualties. That poor little girl and her parents, who had been held at gunpoint.... Thankfully, there were three students of Theta there at the time, and they managed to take care of things before they really escalated. In terms of justice, I think your absolutely right. There is no justice, in what was done yesterday. 

There was a long silence. Hikaru and Masayoshi and subconsciously, waited for me to express my thoughts on the matter. However, I was going to do that. When they turned their expectant gazes to me, I couldn't help but be reminded of Kami's gaze. It reminded me of how she had looked at me on the table, when she cried her heart out, and put her most vulnerable self in front of me. 

And it reminded me of my inability to help her. 

"I- I don't have any thoughts." 

It was bullshit, and everyone in the room knew it. 

*** 

Later on in the day, after lunch, as we were heading towards the training arena, Erika approached me, and she began our seemingly daily routine of her grabbing and squeezing the life out of me, as she talked about anything random, and didn't give me a chance to respond. However, this time I wasn't even trying to respond; I wasn't even trying to protest. I just went with things. My thoughts were distant. Far away. As if my mind, and my physical body were separated by a wall. 

I assumed that Erika didn't notice this, however Masayoshi, who was always watching closely surely did. And Nova, who would always look at me with pity as Erika did this, was looking at me with a different, more mysterious expression. It was a knowing look. A look that made we want to run away from its gaze. 

*** 

During the training period of the day, I was absentmindedly listening to Himitsu's over energized ramblings. He was speaking about the plan for how he would structure his class. Or more fittingly, lack thereof. He was proposing some sort of, "free birds" kind of class set up. Where after introducing what aspect of magical energy or sequences we would be learning, and then he'd leave it up to our, "Free and maturing brains to decide how to go about it. 

It was more of an excuse for him to not do shit, and everyone knew it, but no one said anything. It wasn't like having a free period was anything bad. Today however, Himitsu proposed a question, and said that we would have the rest of the class to ponder over it. 

"Think of, an ability." He didn't elaborate, and didn't go into any further explanation. He just leaned back against the railing. And stood there. 

***

At the student council meeting for the day, I sat next to Kami. Throughout the entire walk there, we didn't share any words. She had managed to cover the bruise on her face as best as possible, but that didn't stop the slightly dark spot of skin around her eye to show. Throughout this entire meeting, her eyes were downcast, and she struggled to maintain eye contact with the other members. 

If I noticed it, then everyone else surely noticed it. During the meeting, they discussed options for how to go about setting up the castle of dreams. However, I wasn't listening. My thoughts were drawn back to all of the interactions that I had with my friend's. Their reactions. Their gazes. It made me feel.... I couldn't explain it. 

"Maybe, it's all just superficial." I muttered to myself. It was more of a thing to make myself feel better for how I acted today.

When I looked up, I noticed both Kami and Suijin staring at me.