Attack On Titan: Goodbyes

Eren's POV

"Eren… Eren… What's wrong? Why are you…" Mikasa's voice was a distant echo in my ears, muffled as though she was calling from somewhere far away.

My eyes stung, blurred by tears, and a dull, throbbing pain grew sharper, searing through my head. It was the same blinding agony I felt the day she confessed—but why now? What was happening to me?

I forced my gaze to focus, catching her tearful face just inches away, a fragile expression I rarely saw on her. "Fuck…" I muttered, feeling a warm trickle of blood slide down my lip, staining the pristine white of her shirt.

The sight of her—a quiet, haunted beauty with faint marks on her neck from the other night—stirred something faintly comforting within me, even through the pain. She looked… like my wife, and it was a glimpse of something I held onto for a moment longer.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, worry etched deeply into her gaze.

"Ugh—ahhh…" I couldn't answer. Another wave of intense pain washed over me, far beyond anything I could bear. I doubled over, my hands clutching my head as though I could hold the pieces together, but it felt as if my skull was about to split open.

My vision grew dark, the world shattering into spots of light and shadow as I gasped for air, my tongue lolling like I'd lost all control.

My eyes, wild with pain, met hers for a brief second—then it all came crashing back, the despair, the fear I thought I'd outrun. My head rested against her chest, and I clung to the back of her shirt, gripping tight enough that I might tear the fabric, hoping her heartbeat would somehow drown out the chaos pounding in my head.

But nothing would chase this away, no matter how close I held her. It always found me.

Suddenly, through the haze of pain, an image drifted into focus—a foggy, fragmented vision of someone… "Historia?" I murmured in confusion. She stood before me, blood streaming down her cheeks like tears, staining the ground red beneath her feet.

My eyes drifted further, taking in the faces of six other children—kids I'd never seen, standing there in silence, their faces pale.

What the hell was this? I struggled to understand, but before I could grasp onto anything, the pain dissolved as swiftly as it had come, leaving me staring at the misted window beside the bed, my breaths ragged. The warmth of Mikasa's trembling figure wrapped around me again, pulling me back, grounding me.

"What's wrong... just tell me already... it hurts me... seeing you like this," Mikasa's voice cracked, breaking what was left of my resolve. Her words tore into me, and I could feel the weight of every tear in her eyes.

"Mikasa?" I whispered, my own voice barely holding together as tears escaped. I tried to brush them away quickly before pulling her close, clinging to her as if she could shield me from everything haunting me.

She held on even tighter, her grip unyielding, and I felt the warmth of her tears soaking through my shirt. After a long moment, she finally eased her hold, only to push me back onto the bed. She lay over me, pressing a tender kiss to my lips, her soft mouth carrying the familiar, salty taste of our shared sorrow.

Her lips lingered, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, letting myself take in every detail of her expression—the way she gazed at me, equal parts love and pain, hurt me more deeply than any physical wound.

She'd always said she loved my eyes, maybe because they used to be full of something I'd long lost. Now, her eyes searched mine, finding nothing but the emptiness that had settled there, and it shattered her all over again.

I cupped her cheek, brushing my lips back against hers, holding onto the warmth of her touch as long as I could. She was beautiful in a way that hurt, a way that reminded me of everything I'd wanted to give her but could never find the words to promise.

Her soft voice murmured against me, her breath, her tenderness—it was everything I loved, everything that grounded me. But as much as I wanted her close, I knew that this pain of mine could pull her down with me.

When she pulled away, her expression had changed. There was a determination, a slight anger in her eyes. "Eren… now tell me the truth. Everything… Understand?"

Her voice held a force that made me smile despite myself. I ran a hand over her cheek as she pouted, trying so hard to keep her composure, not to fall apart in front of me.

"You've done this so many times, hiding things from me..." Her hands grabbed my collar, her nose tinged red from the cold as she stared me down. "Um… Mika… come here, you'll catch a cold." I gestured to the warm space beneath the blanket, but she crossed her arms, standing firm, waiting. She wouldn't let me avoid this.

"Umm…" I sighed, then moved toward her, pulling her down with me onto the mattress. "Gosh… Mrs. Yeager, you sure are stubborn…" I teased, wiping the tears from her cheek with a handkerchief. "Here… blow into this." She reluctantly did, her shoulders slumping slightly as I placed the handkerchief on the bedside table.

"Now tell me… or I'll cry again…" Her voice wavered, her eyes never leaving mine as she wrapped her arms around my neck, a mixture of vulnerability and fierce determination.

But I could barely meet her gaze. "I can't… I just can't…" I murmured, knowing that if I told her, it would hurt her, make her carry my burden. And if I didn't… she'd hurt just the same. There was no easy way to do this.

"You don't trust me, do you?" she whispered, her words slicing into me like a blade. "If you really loved me… you'd tell me the truth." Her accusation hit hard, and I drew in a shaky breath before pressing a soft, teasing bite against her cheek, hoping to break the tension.

"Tricks won't work on me, Yeager." She saw through it and held firm, her eyes steady and pleading. "Just tell me… please…" Her voice trembled, and I was torn between telling her the truth and hiding it to protect her. But then she looked down, and her next words shattered me completely.

"Eren… are you happy being with me? Are you really happy choosing me over Historia?"

My heart stopped, her question sinking deeper than anything else could. All the unspoken guilt and regret I'd buried clawed its way to the surface, making it almost impossible to breathe. I held her close, my voice barely a whisper.

My gaze drifted downward, sensing Mikasa's regret as the weight of her question lingered between us. "Why would I ever choose Historia over you…?" I whispered, feeling a strange tightness in my throat.

"You've been worried sick about me ever since… ever since…" I couldn't finish, the words slipping away as memories pressed hard against my mind. She gently pulled me into her arms, tracing calming circles along my back, her touch grounding me.

"Ever since?" she prodded gently, coaxing me to continue.

I took a shaky breath. "Ever since the ceremony… Mikasa.... Ever since that... my head's been a complete mess. Ever since I touched her… it's like my mind's been shattered. There's no future, no past—they all exist at once, crashing into each other…" I pulled back, my vision blurring with unshed tears. Her warm hands cupped my face, steadying me as I fought to hold myself together.

"That day… when the Titans breached the wall… Bertholdt was supposed to die." My voice cracked. "But… I controlled that Titan toward Mom… and she…" The words lodged in my throat, suffocating me, and Mikasa pulled me closer, kissing my forehead in a silent reassurance.

"It hurts… so damn much, Mikasa. It's like the memories are tearing me apart from the inside. But even in that darkness… I realized something." I looked at her, the one unwavering light in all my chaos.

"I realized just how much I need you. You've been there since the beginning, watching over me, even when everything else fell apart. Historia… she could never understand. She's just using me, like everyone else."

Mikasa's expression softened, her love and confusion mixing in her gaze, as if trying to piece together everything I was saying. There was so much to tell her, so much I'd held back.

"Mikasa… before we left for Marley… Historia said she loves me. She told me she wants to have a child with me." I felt her tense, her hands clutching the fabric of my shirt.

"But I saw through it, right away," I continued. "She doesn't love me… not really. She wants a child with me so that some stranger doesn't father the next inheritor, just to keep control of the empire. She said she trusts me to protect the future of the Eldians…" Mikasa looked at me, her face shadowed with a fear that mirrored my own. "And… and what did you say?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I agreed," I admitted, the words slipping out like a confession. Her gaze fell, but before she could pull away, I lifted her chin, meeting her lips in a kiss, deep and steady. "But…" I murmured against her, a tear slipping down my cheek. "The one I truly love… is you. Only you."

She was quiet, her breathing mingling with mine as I leaned my head against her shoulder, taking in the steady rhythm of her heart.

"And then… then you saved me from the hell I'd put myself in, Mikasa. When you told me the truth, told me how much you loved me… it broke the chains around me. It shattered that future I thought was inevitable, tore down the walls of that cage. I realized I didn't have to bear it alone… because you were there. You showed me there's more to this life than fighting and bloodshed."

I drew her closer, my voice dropping to a quiet murmur. "So, I said to hell with everything else. I don't care about empires or destinies… I just want you. No one else. That's why I agreed to run—to leave it all behind, so I could spend whatever years I have left by your side. You set me free, Mikasa… and now, you're the only one I want. I don't care about the future anymore."

Mikasa's eyes filled with tears as her hands ran gently through my hair, her expression filled with confusion. "What do you mean, darling… I don't understand… What future?"

And then it happened. I told her everything. I laid bare the countless nights of clutching my head in agony, the fractured pieces of myself—the reason my smile faded, the reason my eyes went dull, the reason I pushed her away. It all spilled out, unraveling the past that had haunted me.

"At the ceremony… I kissed her hand," I began, my voice wavering. "And the powers of the Attack Titan… they showed me the future. I saw everything, Mikasa. I saw a world where I married Historia… where you told me I was nothing more than family. A world where you didn't confess, thinking we had more time. And I… I didn't confess because I knew my time was running out. I was trapped in a nightmare I was meant to create."

Her eyes searched mine as I continued, voice breaking. "I saw a future where I spent years scheming with my brother… where I told you I hated you, hoping you'd leave me, that you'd loathe me, so you wouldn't bear my sins when I was gone. A world where I fathered Historia's child, just to protect Eldia… where I unleashed the Rumbling and destroyed 80 percent of humanity. And… a world where Eren Yeager was destined to die… by the hands of Mikasa Ackerman."

The words hung in the air, my forehead pressing against hers, both of us caught in the tangled pain of the truth. Her tears mirrored mine, and I could see the devastation in her eyes.

"But then you changed everything," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "The day you told me… that you loved me. The voices, the torment—they went silent. For the first time, there was peace. It was then I knew… I just wanted to be with you."

Her gaze stayed fixed on me, her teeth clenched as she wiped away my endless stream of tears. Then, without a word, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close as I tried to stifle my sobs. "I love you, Mikasa. I'll cherish you now and forever… I promise." A faint smile broke through my tears, a warmth I hadn't felt in what felt like forever.

She answered, her voice filled with unwavering strength, "I love you too, Eren… and I'll always be by your side, now and forever." We held each other for what seemed like an eternity, the weight of every hardship finally melting away.

Through her sobs, she whispered, "I'm such an idiot… Eren has been through so much, and he's so, so brave and strong… yet I couldn't do anything for him. I'm sorry, Eren… I'm so sorry."

Her words broke, her voice trembling, but I shook my head, holding her tighter, grateful beyond words that her love hadn't changed.

Finally, I whispered back, "You've done more than you could ever know, Mikasa… just by being here. And I'll protect this moment… for as long as I have breath."