Chapter 9: Chapter IX: Revelry and Ruin
Chapter IX: Revelry and Ruin
Crimson fog swirled around me.
I moved through the haze, every sense razor-sharp, every muscle coiled with predatory intent.
Shapes materialized in the murk ahead - shadowy figures, stumbling and crawling.
Prey.
They flee before me, all the more exciting when they run.
I was relentless, tireless.
A flash of white caught my eye - a slender figure in a tattered uniform, Slicked in scarlet, but I smelled no wounds, only fear. I lunged, legs pounding the earth, jaws yawning wide.
A choked scream, abruptly silenced as my teeth found their mark.
I wrenched my head, felt flesh tear and bones crunch.
Sweet, hot, coppery blood flooded my mouth.
More.
An insatiable craving drove me on, seeking the next kill, the next glut of steaming viscera.
Screams echoed through the mist, cut off one by one as I tore through their ranks.
Wide eyes, pleading, accusing, disappeared behind curtains of crimson spray.
At last, only one remained.
A lone shadow in the mist, standing tall, clinging to a slim frame.
Auburn hair, terrified green eyes boring into mine.
And that scent... It stirred something primal in my blood.
I stalked forward, a growl building in my throat.
This one would not escape me. I would rend and tear until nothing remained but splintered bones and bloody scraps, an offering to sate my eternal hunger.
"Why...why didn't you save us?"
My own face stared back at me, contorted in agony and horror, blood bubbling from torn lips.
"Monster"
"Monster!"
"Beast"
More shapes emerged, familiar faces somehow forgotten, once bright with life - now darkened with blood, eye sockets hollow and accusing.
I recoiled, a whine rising in my throat. No, this was wrong. I was meant to protect them...
I looked at my hands - not claws, but human, raw and blistered, knuckles scraped to the bone.
Fragmented memories crowded in. Rain...falling, falling...
I had failed. Failed, them all.
The shadows advanced, fingers jabbing, voices rising in condemnation.
"Couldn't even save yourself. What good are you?"
"Useless. Pathetic. Better off dead."
I backed away, stumbling, gasping. The hunger rose, a red tide surging through my veins, drowning out their cries.
And then, from deep within, I felt it. A stirring, a shifting of something ravenous. It uncoiled slowly, sinuously, stretching awake once more.
Agony lanced through me as it began to tear its way free, ripping through flesh and bone and sinew. I screamed, but the sound was lost in the wet, crunching rend of my own body being split asunder.
Through the haze of pain and terror, I caught glimpses -claws, wicked and curved, obsidian knives dripping crimson. Eyes, burning red, insatiable, soulless .
The shades vanished, dissipating like mist before the rising sun.
In their place, it emerged, birthed from the ruin of my own flesh.
It fixed me with a pitiless, predatory gaze. I shrank back, whimpering, scrabbling at the ground with the tattered remains of my hands.
"Please..." I choked out, but there was no mercy in those eyes.
It lunged, faster than thought, than fear. I had time for one final, agonized howl before its weight crushed me to the ground and its maw closed around my throat--
...
And Anja jolted awake, the scream still lodged in her throat, cold sweat drenching her shivering frame.
Just a nightmare... Just...
Where... am I?
For a long, disorienting moment, she couldn't place her surroundings. The room was small and sparsely furnished, the walls a dull, institutional grey. Midday sunlight slanted through a single narrow window, throwing harsh shadows across the rough woolen blanket covering her legs, she could make out her uniform, dirtied and somewhat torn at the edge of the bed.
Anja's hand instinctively reached for her neck, seeking the familiar comfort of her brother's pendant, but finding only bare skin. Panic surged through her, and she frantically scanned the room until her eyes landed on the small bedside table.
There, glinting in the muted light, lay the pendant. With a shaky sigh of relief, Anja reached out and clasped it, the cool metal soothing against her palm.
She tried to sit up, her body protesting every movement. As she swung her legs over the side of the bed, a wave of dizziness washed over her, and she stumbled, gripping the bedframe for support.
"Doctor! The patient is awake," a woman called out, rushing to Anja's side.
Moments later, a middle-aged man in a white coat entered the room, his expression a mix of surprise and concern.
"Easy there, you shouldn't be up and about yet," he cautioned, his voice laced with worry. He approached Anja, his brow furrowed as he looked her over.
"Let me check on you. Lisa, fetch the instructor, please." The nurse nodded and quickly left the room.
"Would you sit, please?" the doctor asked gently. Anja nodded, sinking back onto the bed. It was only then that she noticed the empty bed beside her.
"Oh, some of your friends came over these past few days. No other patients here but you," the doctor explained, noting her curiosity.
He began his examination, moving his finger in front of her eyes and tapping her knees with a small hammer. With each test, his expression grew more puzzled.
"What? What do you mean 'these days'? How long has it been?" Anja asked, anxiety rising in her voice.
"Well, you've been here for four days already," The man remarked.
"Four days?! I need to go back," Anja exclaimed, panic palpable as she tried to stand again.
The doctor placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, your unit is in Trost, from what I know. I'm sure you won't be left behind by anyone," he reassured her.
"Trost? How?"
"I don't know much, but you must be the newest batch of recruits, 104th right?" Anja nodded slightly. "…Getting younger every year," the doctor mused.
Anja remained silent as the doctor continued his examination, carefully palpating her skull. A puzzled expression flickered across his face once more.
"Do you feel any dizziness, headaches? he asked softly, a single brow raised, a perplexed expression on his features.
"My head's still spinning."
The doctor nodded thoughtfully, processing her response. Anja struggled to make sense of the situation, her memories fragmented and hazy.
"Do you remember your name? What were you doing before you got here?" the doctor probed gently.
"I... Anja, yes. I remember a test, my gear broke... I was going so fast, it's all blurry from there," she struggled to recall, her head throbbing with the effort.
The doctor sighed. "What are the military putting you guys through now?" He shook his head before continuing, "Well, I... I did not expect to say this, but you seem to be fine, minus the bruises and a little swelling." He gestured to her arms and legs, his expression puzzled. "Seems you had a lucky fall--"
A knock at the door interrupted him. "Come in."
Anja's eyes widened as Instructor Shadis entered the room, his imposing figure filling the doorway. She immediately tried to stand and salute, but a sharp pain shot through her body, causing her to grit her teeth.
"At ease," Shadis said gruffly. "No need to stand on ceremony. How are you feeling cadet?"
"Like I got trampled by a horse," Anja replied, wincing as she shifted on the bed.
"You'll survive, that thick skull of yours is good for something at least."
Anja slumped back against the pillows, shame burning hot in her cheeks. "Sir, I... I'm sorry. I failed. I don't... I don't deserve to be a soldier."
Shadis was silent for a long moment, his gaze assessing. Then, to Anja's shock, he pulled up a chair and sat down beside her bed.
"Let me tell you something, Wolf," he said, a hint of gentleness in his usually stern voice. "In all my years of training cadets, I've never met a soldier who didn't fail at something. Who didn't have moments of weakness."
He leaned forward, his eyes intense. "What matters is how you face that failure. How you pick yourself up, and keep moving."
"You think one botched test is going to change my opinion of you, cadet? You think it negates all the blood, sweat, and tears you've put into your training?"
Anja felt her throat tighten. "But I failed..."
He shook his head. "You did, but you're a damn fine soldier, Wolf. If you've had your head unstuck from your ass every once in a while, you'd notice that. I watched you during the test, you put too much strain on your gear, pushed it to the limit. What did you think was going to happen?"
Shadis fixed her with a piercing stare. "Even still, you think I would have let you pass after what you pulled earlier? Going off on your own? In training, you got your teammate disqualified. In a real mission, you could have gotten him killed."
Anja remained silent, the weight of his words settling heavily on her shoulders.
"But you've got heart, I can see that. You've certainly got the guts, but that's not all it takes to be a good soldier. Let this be a lesson, Wolf. Learn from your mistakes for a change."
"I will, sir." Anja promised, her voice steady despite the turmoil within.
Shadis stood, making his way to the door. He paused, glancing back at her. "When the doc gives you the all-clear, report to the Garrison headquarters." His gaze dropped to her disheveled uniform hanging by her bed. "And Wolf, get your uniform sorted for graduation. It's a disgrace."
With that, he left, the door closing firmly behind him. Anja stared at the ceiling, her mind reeling. Graduation. She had almost forgotten in the haze of pain and confusion. A glimmer of hope sparked in her chest.
True to the doctor's assessment, Anja was discharged from the clinic the following day. Despite the lingering aches, she luckily showed no signs of lasting damage. As she stepped out into the bustling streets of Trost, the warm sunlight and fresh air felt like a balm to her battered body and spirit.
...
A week later
The cadets were scattered along the top of the wall, their figures small against the backdrop of the sky. The cannon they were maintaining gleamed in the sunlight, its metal polished to a high shine. Annie stood a short distance away, her focus solely on her task, while Nac worked silently beside her.
Closer to the cannon, Sasha, Connie, and Anja were engaged in their own maintenance duties. Sasha's fingers were a blur as she worked, even as she continually snuck bites of a cracker, the crumbs dusting her uniform.
"I'm so nervous," Sasha admitted between bites, her voice muffled. "Even if we already know the results, the waiting is killing me."
She sighed, slumping against the cannon, her posture a picture of anxiety. Anja glanced up from her work, a reassuring smile on her face. She set aside her brushes and placed a comforting hand on Sasha's shoulder.
"It's going to be fine," Anja said, her tone soothing. "It's just a simple ceremony."
Sasha's brow furrowed, her fingers twisting the fabric of her jacket. "I don't know... There's going to be so many people there. What if we have to give a speech or something?"
Connie looked up from his work, a confident grin on his face. He stood tall, his chest puffed out slightly. "How hard can it be? We already made it through the worst. After this, a few more days and we'll be certified MPs!"
Anja nodded, her smile widening. "I'm sure you two will do great in the Military Police."
Connie's grin turned smug, his eyes sparkling. "Yup! That's for sure. Just you wait, in a few years, we'll be officers!"
Sasha's eyes lit up at the thought, a dreamy expression crossing her face. "Oh, I'd like that. We would get all kinds of meat, being MPs. Imagine if the officers here have it good, in the capital..." She trailed off, her mouth already watering at the prospect.
Anja laughed, shaking her head fondly. "I'm happy for you. I can't lie, I'm a little jealous."
Connie nudged her playfully. "Yeah, too bad you're not joining us, Anja."
Her smile faltered slightly. "Nah, never wanted to be an MP anyway. But I do regret failing the test. I wish I could have had at least the choice to turn it down…"
Nac, who had been silently working, suddenly spoke up, voice sharp with derision, his brown eyes boring on Anja. "Hmph, some people just can't cut it. It's not like you had any talent to be an MP to begin with. No wonder you failed and brought me down with you."
A stunned silence fell over the group, the easy camaraderie shattered by Nac's outburst.
Annie, still focused on her task, gave a sidelong glance.
"Geez, tone it down a little, man." Connie, spoke up.
Anja felt a pang of guilt and shame, her gaze dropping to the ground. She couldn't bear to look Nac in the eye.
Annie's voice cut through the tension, quiet but firm. "Ignore him. He's just bitter."
Nac rounded on her, his face reddened with anger. "And what did you do to earn the fourth place, Annie? You slacked off during training all the time! You don't deserve it either."
Annie met his gaze, her icy blue eyes narrowing slightly. She seemed unmoved by his accusation, her posture relaxed but unyielding. "Is that so? I can see how useless you must feel, given that you didn't even make it after all that effort. Says a lot about your 'talent', Tius."
Nac flinched as if struck, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. With a muttered curse, he stalked off, his footsteps heavy on the stone.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the group in his wake, broken only by the distant sound of cannons being tested. Reiner, Marco, and Mina approached, their arms laden with supplies.
Reiner took the lead, setting down a heavy box with a clunk. He dusted off his hands, his gaze sweeping over the group. "Our side is done. You can move to the cannons there."
His eyes narrowed slightly as he sensed the lingering unease, the tension palpable in the air. "Something the matter here?"
Annie cast a dismissive glance in the direction Nac had gone, her tone dry and dismissive. "Nothing. Just a passing breeze."
Connie stood, giving the cannon a final pat. "As good as new. We're done here." Sasha and Anja followed suit, gathering their tools.
As they passed Mina, the girl fumbled with her supplies, dropping them in her haste to move out of Anja's way. Anja stooped to help, a friendly smile on her face as she offered the fallen items to Mina.
"Oh, here, I've got it," Anja said gently, her voice warm.
But Mina flinched away, her eyes wide with what could only be described as fear. "No-I've got it, thanks," she stammered, quickly gathering her things and hurrying off.
Anja watched her go, a sinking feeling in her stomach. The memory of those looks, the same ones she'd seen so many times before, was all too familiar. There was nothing she could do about it.
Annie lingered behind, her gaze fixed on Anja. "I'll catch up to you. I missed a spot."
Connie threw an arm around Anja's shoulders, his grin wide and encouraging. "Hey, what's with the long face? Cheer up! We're about to be real soldiers!"
Sasha joined in, her laughter a bit too loud, a bit too forced. Anja appreciated their efforts, but the sting of Mina's rejection and Nac's harsh words lingered, a bitter taste in the back of her throat.
As they walked to their next task, Anja found herself lost in thought, doubt gnawing at her insides. She pushed it aside, focusing instead on the moment, on the work at hand.
The evidence of the military's preparations were clear to see. The cannons gleamed, their mechanisms oiled and primed, these were more advanced, their accuracy greatly improved. Deep trenches scarred the earth near the outer gate, nets at the ready. The soldiers atop the walls were silent and watchful, their eyes constantly scanning the horizon.
The horror of Shiganshina was still fresh in everyone's minds, an ever-present specter. But amidst the fear, there was also determination, a grim resolve to stand and fight.
Anja glanced at her friends, marveling at their ability to laugh and play, to find joy in the moment despite the looming threats beneath them. She wished she could share in their levity, but being there, the weight of her memories, of her duties, dragged at her like chains.
The day wore on, the cadets moving from task to task with practiced efficiency. The sun climbed higher in the sky, its rays beating down on their backs as they worked. Sweat beaded on their brows, but they barely noticed, their minds focused on the job at hand.
Before they knew it, the day was drawing to a close. The cannons stood gleaming in the fading light, a testament to their hard work.
"Come on, Anja! We're going to be late!" Sasha called, wiping her hands on her pants as she stood.
Anja glanced up, surprised to see how low the sun had gotten. She hurried to finish her task, packing away her tools with quickly.
Annie fell into step beside them as they made their way towards the barracks, her expression inscrutable.
"What took you so long?" Anja asked, nudging the blonde girl with her elbow.
Annie just shrugged, her gaze fixed ahead. "Had to double-check something."
They walked in comfortable silence, the easy camaraderie of the day settling over them like a warm blanket.
Soon Anja among her fellow cadets, their faces solemn and proud. Tonight, they would finally become fully fledged soldiers. She would soon take her first steps into the uncertain world beyond the walls.
...
Soon, Anja stood there amongst her comrades, their postures firm, arranged in neat lines, their instructors stood before them in the podium. The commander's voice rang out, strong and clear.
"Tonight you stand here, as living proof of your worth."
"From this day forth, you will become the swords that strike down our enemies and the shields that safeguard hope in this world shrouded by darkness."
Anja's thoughts drifted to the choices that lay ahead, the paths that each of them would take. Most would join the Garrison Regiment or the Military Police, seeking safety and security within the walls. She didn't resent them for it. In fact, she felt a certain peace of mind that her friends would be safe. For her, there was only ever one choice - the Survey Corps.
"In taking this oath, you pledge your lives to the service of the king, to the protection of our people, and to the unyielding pursuit of victory for all humanity."
It was a daunting prospect, but she knew in her heart that it was the right path, the only path that held any hope of reclaiming what they had lost, a chance to strike back.
The commander's voice grew quieter, but no less intense.
"The hopes and dreams of mankind shall rest upon your shoulders, and with them, your strength."
Anja's mind wandered to her brother, her mother, her home... The thought of her friends filled her with determination. She had not failed them, not yet... She could still protect them.
"Cadets of the 104th,"
"Do you swear to uphold this sacred duty, to dedicate your hearts and souls to the preservation and triumph of humanity?"
"We pledge our hearts!"
The recruits now soldiers thundered as one, a hand clasped against their backs and a fist clenched on their hearts.
...
"To the 104th!"
The clinking of mugs echoed through the hall, a symphony of celebration and camaraderie. The air was thick with the scent of ale and the sound of laughter, as the newly graduated cadets reveled in their hard-earned victory. A lively tune pulsed in the background invigorating the already euphoric atmosphere.
Anja weaved through the crowd, her own mug in hand, taking in the sights and sounds of the festivities. Everywhere she looked, everyone was in high spirits, their faces flushed with joy and the warmth of the alcohol. Some danced with wild abandon, while others gathered in groups, sharing stories and toasting to their future.
"To us and to the day we'll finally take what was ours!" Eren exclaimed, raising his mug high as Anja approached, he seemed ecstatic, his eyes were alight with a fierce resolution behind them.
"Cheers!" the others echoed, their voices rising above the din.
Anja grinned, clinking her mug with Armin's and Mikasa's, the clinking sounds lost amidst the cheers.
Across the room, her eyes caught sight of Annie, sitting quietly in a corner. Anja raised her mug towards her, a silent invitation. Annie's lips quirked in a small smile, and she nodded, raising her own mug in return. For a fleeting moment, Anja thought she saw a flicker of sadness in Annie's eyes, but before she could dwell on it, a hearty pat on her back jolted her back.
"Come on, Anja!" Connie urged, his face flushed with excitement. "Sasha's challenging everyone to a drinking contest!"
Anja laughed, allowing herself to be swept up in the merriment once more.
As the night wore on, the celebration showed no signs of slowing down. The once-orderly hall had transformed into a cacophony of music, laughter, and animated conversations. Anja found herself staying close to her small group of friends, occasionally catching the curious glances directed her way. She didn't like it. What were they thinking? They knew who she was. No one had forgotten that day in the forest... The attention made her nervous, and she found herself reaching for her mug more often than not.
"They're probably just surprised to see you in something other than your uniform," Armin remarked, noticing Anja's discomfort.
Anja flushed, fumbling with her mug. "Oh, these old rags? Don't see what's so special about them." Still not entirely convinced of that being the cause.
She eventually found herself drawn to a table where Ymir, Christa, Marco, and Connie were engaged in a lively drinking game, empty mugs littering the surface like fallen soldiers.
"Okay, okay, my turn!" Ymir declared, a mischievous glint in her eye as she leaned forward conspiratorially. "Never have I ever... had a crush on someone in this room!"
Christa's eyes widened, a pretty blush staining her cheeks as Ymir grinned and took a deliberate swig of her drink. With a playful wink, Ymir pushed Christa's mug closer to her lips, urging her to follow suit. Christa giggled, taking a dainty sip, her smile shy but pleased.
The table erupted in a mix of laughter and good-natured groans. Connie, never one to be outdone, dramatically downed his entire mug in one go, slamming it back on the table with a resounding thunk.
"Whoa there, Springer!" Ymir teased, her eyebrows climbing towards her hairline. "Control yourself, or you'll be under the table before the night's over."
Connie just grinned, his cheeks already flushed with the warmth of the alcohol. "Hey, if I'm going to be an MP, I might as well start building up my tolerance now, right?"
Christa laughed, the sound bright and bubbly. "Your turn, Marco!"
Marco shook his head, pushing back from the table with an easy smile. "I think I'll sit this one out, guys. I'm feeling a bit dizzy already." He made his way over to where Eren was deep in conversation with Thomas, his gait only slightly unsteady.
Anja, who had been quietly sipping her drink and observing the game with amusement, looked up as Jean approached their table. He had an uncharacteristically nervous air about him, his eyes darting around as if searching for something.
"Come on, Jean boy! Plenty of space here!" Connie called out, waving him over with an exaggerated gesture.
Jean scowled, his cheeks reddening. "Don't call me that!" he snapped, but he moved closer to the table nonetheless. His eyes widened slightly as he noticed Anja, and he cleared his throat. "Oh, hey, Wolf. Glad to see you're doing alright."
Anja nodded, raising her mug in a small salute. "Just happy to be here. Congrats on making the top ten, by the way."
Jean rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Yeah, about that... I wanted to thank you. For what you did during the test. I mean, I had it under control, but... it helped."
Anja waved off his gratitude with a small smile. "Don't mention it. You earned your spot, fair and square."
Jean's eyes flickered over Anja appreciatively, a hint of red creeping up his neck. "You know, I almost didn't recognize you at first. That outfit, it... it suits you."
Anja glanced down at her clothes, perhaps there was something wrong with them, just her plain shirt, blue dress, and that oversized jacket she always used to wear. Suddenly she had become self-conscious again. She took a sip of her drink to hide her embarrassment, mumbling a quick "thanks" into her mug.
Jean shifted his weight, his gaze darting across the room to where Mikasa stood beside Eren. A determined look crossed his face, and he turned back to Anja, squaring his shoulders.
"So, I was wondering... would you maybe want to dance? With me?"
Anja blinked, caught off guard by the sudden invitation. She opened her mouth to respond, but Ymir cut her off with a sharp elbow to the ribs.
"She'd love to!" Ymir declared, practically shoving Anja out of her seat and into Jean's arms.
Anja stumbled, shooting Ymir a bewildered glare over her shoulder. The taller girl just grinned, giving her a not-so-subtle thumbs up.
As Jean led her out onto the dance floor, Anja couldn't help but feel a bit out of her depth. She was used to the precise movements of combat training, not the fluid steps of a social dance. She kept stepping on Jean's toes, her coordination deteriorating with each mug of ale.
Jean, for his part, seemed distracted, his eyes constantly straying towards where Mikasa and Eren were deep in conversation. His normally smooth demeanor was replaced by a nervous energy, his palms slightly clammy against Anja's.
When the song finally ended, Anja hastily thanked Jean for the dance and made her way back to the table, her face burning. Ymir was grinning like the cat that got the cream.
"Oh, Wolf," she sighed, shaking her head in mock despair. "You're a lost cause. Absolutely hopeless."
Anja just groaned, reaching for her mug and taking a long pull. The alcohol buzzed pleasantly through her system, making the room spin in a not-entirely-unpleasant way.
As the night wore on, she found herself drinking more and more, the nerves and self-consciousness fading into a warm, fuzzy haze. She slumped against the table, content to just listen to the swirl of conversation and laughter around her.
At one point, Eren's voice rose above the din, passionate. Something about killing every last Titan, about taking back what was theirs. The tavern quieted for a moment, a hush falling over the crowd.
"Yeah!" Anja cheered, her own voice thick with alcohol. "You tell 'em, Eren!" She pumped her fist in the air, sloshing her drink over the side of her mug.
The somber moment was quickly lost to the festivities. Anja slumped back in her seat, the world warm and pleasantly blurred around the edges. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this light, this unburdened.
The room was starting to feel too hot, too loud. The press of bodies and the clamor of voices were overwhelming, suffocating. Anja stumbled to her feet, swaying slightly as she made her way towards the door.
The cool night air was a balm on her flushed skin, and she took a deep breath, savoring the crisp, clean scent. She walked unsteadily down the street, humming tunelessly under her breath, her mind a pleasant buzz of alcohol and camaraderie.
Suddenly, her foot caught on a loose cobblestone, sending her sprawling. She landed hard, the impact knocking the wind from her lungs and jarring the pendant from around her neck. It clattered to the ground, glinting in the moonlight like a fallen star.
Anja giggled breathlessly as she pushed herself up, but her laughter died in her throat when she noticed the pendant lying in the dirt. Sobering instantly, she reached out with trembling fingers and gently picked it up, dusting it off.
"Sorry, brother," she murmured, her words slurring slightly as she fumbled to place the necklace back around her neck. Her clumsy fingers struggled with the clasp, and she felt a sudden, overwhelming wave of loneliness wash over her.
She clutched the pendant close to her chest, as if she could somehow feel Heinrik's presence through the cool metal. "I wish you were here," she whispered, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. "I'm finally following in your footsteps, just like I always said I would. But I... I don't know if I'll ever be as strong as you."
Her voice broke, and she swallowed hard, blinking rapidly to clear her blurring vision. In her mind's eye, she could see her mother's face, etched with lines of grief and worry. "I wonder what mom would think of me now. What you would think. Would you be proud of me, Heinrik?
The thought was like a knife to the gut, and Anja felt a sob building in her throat. With a grunt of effort, she managed to push herself into a sitting position, leaning back against the cool stone wall of a nearby building. She drew her knees up to her chest, making herself small, as if she could somehow hide from the pain and doubt that gnawed at her insides.
The music and laughter from the tavern drifted out into the night, a bittersweet backdrop to her melancholy thoughts. It seemed so far away now, that warmth and joy, like a dream she couldn't quite hold onto.
Tears began to slip down her cheeks, hot and stinging. She let them fall, too drunk and tired to care about appearances. Here, in the darkness and solitude of the empty street, she could let herself be weak, just for a little while.
The sound of footsteps startled her out of her reverie, and she looked up, hastily swiping at her tears with the back of her hand. A familiar figure was approaching, pausing a few feet away. Annie. Her pale blue eyes widened slightly as she took in Anja's disheveled state, her brows knitting together.
"Anja?"
Anja struggled to her feet, swaying slightly as the world tilted around her. "Annie! Hey!" Her voice was too loud, too bright. "I was just... I mean, I didn't..."
She trailed off, gesturing vaguely, unsure of what she was trying to say. Behind Annie, she caught a glimpse of Reiner standing near the tavern door, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he watched them with an inscrutable expression.
Annie took a step closer, her hand twitching at her side as if she wanted to reach out but thought better of it. "What are you doing out here, Anja?" Her voice was soft, but there was an undercurrent of something Anja couldn't quite place.
Anja shrugged, the movement exaggerated by her intoxication. "Just needed some air," she said, trying for a casual tone and missing by a mile. "It was getting a little intense in there, you know?"
Finally, Annie sighed, her expression softening almost imperceptibly. "Come on," she said, reaching out to steady Anja as she stumbled. "Let's get you back to the barracks."
Anja leaned heavily on the smaller girl as they made their way down the street, giggling despite herself at the absurdity of the situation. "Aww, but the party's just getting started!" she protested halfheartedly. "You only just got here!"
"I think you've had enough fun for one night," Annie replied, her tone dry but not unkind.
Anja pouted, but didn't argue further. She was starting to feel the first hints of exhaustion creeping in, her limbs heavy and clumsy.
They walked in silence for a few moments, the cool night air helping to clear some of the fog from Anja's mind. A thought occurred to her, and she frowned, glancing sideways at Annie.
"So... you and Reiner, huh?"
Annie stiffened almost imperceptibly, her grip on Anja's arm tightening for a brief instant before relaxing again. "What about me and Reiner?" Her voice was carefully neutral.
Anja shrugged, trying to affect an air of nonchalance. "Nothing, just... I didn't know you two were close like that. I mean, I saw you together at the tavern, and I thought..."
She trailed off, suddenly unsure of what she was implying. The alcohol was making it hard to think straight, her thoughts slippery and elusive.
Annie was silent for a long moment, her expression unreadable in the darkness. When she finally spoke, her voice was so soft Anja had to strain to hear it over the distant revelry.
"It's not what you think…It's complicated."
Anja nodded, feeling a strange mix of relief and embarrassment wash over her. "Right. Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed..."
"It's fine," Annie cut her off, her tone clipped but not unkind.
Anja mumbled her agreement, leaning more heavily on Annie as a wave of dizziness washed over her. They continued on in silence, the distant sounds of the celebration fading behind them as they made their way through the darkened streets.
Anja felt a sudden surge of affection for the taciturn blonde at her side. Annie had always been there for her, even when she didn't deserve it.
Unable to help herself, Anja pulled Annie into a clumsy hug, ignoring the way the other girl stiffened in her embrace.
"You're a good friend." She mumbled into the smaller girl's shoulder; her words slightly muffled. "I don't tell you that enough, but it's true."
Annie was still as a statue in her arms. "You don't know what you're saying."
Anja pulled back, frowning, confused by the sudden sharpness in Annie's tone, she pushed her lightly. "Well, if you're counting that time you disappeared, I think that debt is already settled."
She placed a hand on her shoulder. "You've always been a good friend, I don't know why you try so hard to hide it all the time."
Annie looked away, her jaw clenching. "You give me too much credit," she said, her voice strained. "I'm not as good a person as you seem to think I am. I'm only looking out for myself."
"You keep repeating that like it was true...but that's not what I see."
Anja's voice grew more impassioned as she continued, her words spilling out in a rush. "You can be a prick sometimes, but that doesn't make you selfish. I've seen the way you look out for others, the way you push them to be better. You think I don't notice, but I do. It's one of the things I admire most about you, even if you try to hide it behind that cold mask of yours."
Annie flinched, her eyes flashing with a mix of pain and regret. "Stop," she said, her voice strained. "You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know me, not really."
Anja recoiled as if slapped, hurt and anger warring in her chest. "Don't I? I've been by your side for four years, Annie. I've seen the real you, the one you try so hard to bury. And it kills me that you can't see what I see - a loyal friend, someone who would do anything for the people she cares about."
Annie shook her head, her expression twisting into something raw and anguished. "You're wrong," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm not that person, I can't be… You couldn't possibly understand."
Anja's temper flared, frustration and alcohol loosening her tongue. "Then help me understand! Stop pushing me away, stop hiding behind these walls you've built. I'm here, Annie. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."
For a moment, Annie wavered, something vulnerable and longing flickering in her icy blue eyes. But then her jaw clenched, her expression hardening into a mask of cold resolve.
"You're drunk, Anja," she said, her voice flat and emotionless. "You don't know what you're saying. Trust me, you're better off keeping your distance. From me, and from everyone else. In the end, we're all just looking out for ourselves. The sooner you learn that, the better."
Anja recoiled, felt as if the ground had dropped out from under her. "Is that really what you think?" she whispered, her voice small and lost."That we're all just in it for ourselves? Then why even bother with the Military Police?
"Are you going to give me that bullshit of not having a choice again, huh? Why not just run off and hide somewhere, if you really don't give a damn about anyone else?"
Annie flinched as if struck, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, for a moment it felt like those walls of hers would finally come crumbling down.But then Annie squared her shoulders, her expression shuttering like a door slamming closed.
"Maybe I should," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe it would be better for everyone if I just... disappeared."
Anja stared at her, a hollow ache blooming in her chest. "Fine," she said, her voice dull and lifeless. "Keep telling yourself that. But don't expect me to believe it. I know you, Annie Leonhart. Even if you don't know yourself."
A heavy silence fell between them, the weight of their words hanging in the air like a physical thing. Finally, Annie sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
"Come on," she said, her voice tired and strained. "Let's get you to bed before you fall over."
They walked the rest of the way in silence, Anja's muddled thoughts chasing themselves in circles. She felt raw and exposed, as if Annie had taken a scalpel to her heart and laid it bare. But beneath the hurt and confusion, a tiny spark of hope still flickered. Because even in the midst of Annie's cold denials, Anja felt like she had seen a glimmer of the truth.
...
The next morning, Anja woke to a pounding headache and a mouth that tasted like something had died in it. She groaned, burying her face in her pillow as memories of the night before came flooding back in mortifying detail.
"You idiot," she mumbled, her voice muffled by the fabric. "Why did I say that?"
She lay there for a long moment, wallowing in her misery, before the realization that she was alone in the barracks penetrated her foggy brain. She sat up with a jolt, wincing as the sudden movement sent a spike of pain through her temples.
Ymir, Sasha, and Christa's bunks were empty, the beds neatly made as if they'd been gone for hours. Anja's stomach dropped as she scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste.
She donned her uniform in record time, her fingers fumbling with the straps and buckles. A quick glance at her schedule confirmed her fear - she was late for her assignment, ODM gear maintenance.
Anja burst into the headquarters' workshop, her apology dying on her lips as she took in the scene before her. Armin and Mikasa looked up from their work, their expressions a mix of surprise and concern. An officer nearby grumbled about her tardiness but waved her off, muttering something about "kids these days" and "graduation night."
"Looks like you had a rough night," Armin teased as she joined them.
Anja groaned, rubbing her temples. "I think I forgot half of it."
"Well, at least you didn't try to climb the statue of the king and declare yourself the 'Queen of the Walls' like Ymir did," Mikasa said dryly.
Anja snorted. "Please tell me someone stopped her before she got too far."
"Connie and Christa managed to talk her down. Eventually," Armin said with a chuckle.
They continued working for a while, falling into a comfortable rhythm. The normalcy of the moment was a balm to Anja's frayed nerves, a welcome respite from the emotional turmoil of the night before.
But the peace was shattered when Annie entered the room, her posture tense but controlled. She scanned the workshop until her gaze landed on Anja.
"Anja, I need your help at the stables," she said, her voice steady despite the undercurrent of urgency.
Anja frowned, concern and confusion warring in her chest. "Is something wrong?"
Annie shook her head, her expression carefully neutral. "No, nothing to worry about. Just a minor issue that needs sorting out."
Anja hesitated, glancing at Armin and Mikasa. They looked just as bewildered as she felt. Mikasa's gaze lingered on Annie, a flicker of suspicion in her dark eyes.
"Go ahead," Armin said, his brow furrowed. "We can handle things here."
Anja nodded, setting down her tools and following Annie out of the workshop. The officer overseeing their work gave them a questioning look but didn't stop them.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Anja grabbed Annie's arm, forcing the other girl to slow her brisk pace.
"Annie, what's really going on?" she demanded, her voice low and urgent. "You're acting strange."
Annie's composure slipped for a moment, a flash of something raw and desperate in her eyes. "I can't... I can't explain right now. Please, just trust me."
Anja's frustration mounted, mingling with a growing sense of unease. Something was very wrong, she could feel it in her bones. But the pleading look on Annie's face, the way her fingers trembled against Anja's arm, made it impossible to refuse.
"Alright," she said, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "Lead the way."
They hurried through the streets of Trost, Annie's pace quickening with each step. Anja struggled to keep up, her head still pounding from her hangover.
"Did you mess something up? Did you forget to clean your gear again?" she panted, trying to lighten the mood. "If you forgot, I'm not taking the blame for you this time."
But Annie didn't respond, her gaze fixed ahead as if she could see something Anja couldn't. Anja's attempt at humor fell flat, swallowed by the suffocating tension that seemed to thicken the very air around them.
Suddenly, Annie stopped dead in the middle of the street, her eyes wide and haunted. Anja nearly ran into her, barely managing to catch herself in time.
"Annie, what-"
The rest of her question was lost in a sudden, earth-shattering boom. The ground beneath their feet shuddered, the cobblestones cracking and buckling as a shockwave ripped through the city.
Anja stumbled, nearly losing her footing. She looked up, her heart seizing in her chest as a massive, skinless face loomed over the wall, its eyes lifeless and cruel.
The Colossal Titan
Time seemed to slow, the world narrowing to a single, horrifying point. Anja felt the breath leave her lungs in a rush.
This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not here. Not yet.
She turned to Annie, desperate for an explanation, for some kind of reassurance. But the words died on her lips as she saw the expression on the other girl's face.
Annie stood frozen, her eyes wide and glassy with shock. But beneath the fear, there was something else... something like grim recognition, a quiet resignation.
"Annie?" Anja whispered, her voice small and lost in the sudden chaos.
But Annie didn't seem to hear her. She just stared up at the titan, her lips moving in a silent whisper.
The sound of crumbling stone filled the air, distant screams rising in a terrible chorus. The wall was falling once more.
And with it, the fragile peace they had all clung to for so long.