Beautiful Misery

Six months had passed since and he was closer to his due date. Jason found himself having a hard time walking around with a big round bulging stomach. His fair skin was radiant and glowing, due to new remedies he had applied during his pregnancy period. His six-pack-abs were no longer visible and he had gained lots of weight over the months. His natural blue hair grew quite long as well and it was at the depth of his shoulder length. He could not find the time to trim his hair short since he had been working non-stop throughout his pregnancy period. At first, he was concerned with how people would view him. As months passed, it did not bother him anymore, as the majority thought he was a fat person with an alcohol addict. Though it was a bad assumption, he was able to work in peace.

As he was making his way down the stairs, he felt his legs had gone numb. It took a while for him to get through one step at a time. No one knew of his current condition; not even his mother, and his ex-lover. He did not wish to impose and bother them, especially his mother who was currently living in the countryside and was a four-hour drive away from him. Whereas for his ex-lover; Kyle, did not wish to meet him at all and Jason would prefer if the man he used to love did not come back to his life.

He was halfway down the stairs when, unfortunately, he missed two steps down and slipped. His back collided with the stairways as he was dragged downwards. He tried to shield his stomach as much as he could. As he landed at the bottom of the stairways, he let out a low groan and he felt wetness slipping through his pants. He slowly sat up and leaned against the nearby wall. He could smell the scent of iron coming from himself and there was another light scent mixed along with it. He knew then his water broke and he felt his stomach churning painfully.

Then, Jason wanted to scream for help badly. However, he bit his lips and swallowed back the whimpers of pain. He knew no one was going to help him, neither would anyone bother to check on him. He needed to be strong for the little one and himself. He choked back a sob as he reached out for his phone on the nearby coffee table. Trembled fingers hastily keyed in the passcodes before going through his call list and dialled in the emergency number. Then, he placed the phone onto his ear and listened to the ringing on the other line as he laboured his breathing.

"XXX. What is your emergency?" The operator picked up the call after three consecutive rings.

Jason swallowed his saliva with difficulty before he answered in a hoarse voice, "H-Hello... I-I am Jason... I am in n-need of the h-hospital... P-Please... Hurry... My b-baby will die…"

Before he could manage to finish his sentence, his head was wrapped in a whirlpool and all he could see was blank spots. His body numbly collapsed and his hand weakly let go of his phone. His vision was blurred with tears and the only thing Jason could do in his weakened state was; reaching out his hand for the phone weakly as he desperately muttered quiet pleas of "help" countlessly before he was greeted with darkness.

"Baby, what are you thinking about?"

Jason felt familiar strong arms wrapped themselves around his lean yet muscular body from behind. A chin was pressed down onto his left shoulder and he could feel the warmth of the man's breath hitting the sides of his neck.

They were staying in a hotel and enjoying their one week vacation together. Jason remembered this event took place a year ago. They were in Dubai for their one-year-anniversary. Unconsciously, he took the man's hand and grasped it tight. A part of him was yearning for this. The close contact he had with his lover and the sweet talks they shared. He knew it was just a dream and as much as he wanted to wake himself up, he could not. He had no choice, but to see through this dream and memory of his.

"Nothing. I was just wondering… If we ever had a baby… No matter through a willing surrogate mother or adoption, what do you wish to name them?" Jason asked quietly as he tilted his head to look over to his boyfriend.

The next moment, Jason was being turned around and they were facing each other. Kyle moved his head forward till their foreheads touched each other and their noses were inches away from one another. His arms were hanging around Jason's waistline and he made sure their bodies were sticking close, leaving no gaps in between them.

"If you're asking me, I want my babies to have precious names. It doesn't matter if they're from you or me. If it's a girl, she's going to be named after a princess. Katrina McKenny," answered Kyle softly as he pecked Jason's pinkish thin lips.

"What about a boy then?" Asked Jason curiously.

"Well, if it's a boy, he should have a similar name to you, but more manly and precious, of course," answered Kyle casually as he smiled softly at his lover.

A tear slipped past Jason's cheeks. He would never see these soft features on this man anymore after this. He wanted to hold onto him longer, but just like any other dream, the man before him was beginning to fade away. Jason desperately reached out for him. However, he was gone and all that was left was his voice lingering in the cold air.

"His name is…"

"...Jonah. My son's name is Jonah Graham."

He signed the name in the certificate and filled up the particular details before handing it over to the nurse who was patiently waiting for him.

"Oh my. That's a very sweet name for this little bun," she carefully grabbed the documents and the pen before pushing the baby tray gently and situated it next to the new father's bed.

"Do you need help holding him? Or do you wish to rest?" Asked the nurse with a gentle tone.

Feeling exhaustion creeping in him, Jason decided on the latter, "I'll rest first. Thanks."

"No worries. It's my job after all," The nurse smiled gently before looking over to the newborn.

"This little bun is still sleeping. He had not drunk any milk yet. Maybe you should feed him. Which milk is better than the milk his father provides?"

Upon hearing the last few sentences coming from the nurse, Jason froze and stared at her in bewilderment.

"B-But… I'm a man… Man can't—"

The nurse stopped him, "It's not impossible, Mr Graham. I've seen other fathers provide milk for their children when their wives couldn't produce it. You should give it a try. I know it's difficult to do so right now since you had just undergone C-section delivery hours ago. But, please do give it a thought. We can still feed him normal formula milk. Though, studies have shown newborn children prefer the milk their parents developed, to the formulated milk by powder."

Jason remained silent and the nurse took that as a queue to leave the father and newborn son alone, "I'll get going now. Please rest well and don't forget to press the bell bar if you need anything else. See you around, Mr Graham."

She then looked over the newborn on the tray and mimicked a baby voice gently, "Good night, sweet Jonah~"

With that, the nurse left with the necessary documents in hand. After she left the ward and the door was closed tight, Jason let out a deep sigh. He still could not believe he had undergone caesarean delivery and even though he had given birth to his healthy baby boy hours ago, he still felt the pain around his abdominal area. He carefully brought his hand over to his flat stomach and buried it underneath the t-shirt he was wearing before gently tracing over the visible scar. He looked over to his left where his son was sleeping peacefully on the tray, all bundled up. A tear slipped past one of his eyes as he stared in amazement. He thought he would lose Jonah after such a great fall. He was glad Jonah was safe and healthy.

As if feeling his father's distressed, Jonah groaned out as he moved around fidgety. Despite being in a weak state, Jason carefully got up from the bed with the help of the railings at the side of the bed for him to hold onto. He slowly used his leg muscles for support as he stood by Jonah's bed.

His hands reached down and delicately picked up his son, making sure he was comfortable in his arms before pulling him closer to his chest as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, Jonah," he whispered.

Jonah's small eyes blinked slowly before opening wide and looking at his father. Jason let out a soft sniffle upon witnessing how beautiful his son was. His left eye has a mixture of blue-green and the other pair was pure blue. His hair, despite having little hair, Jason could see black and blue being mixed together. He was thankful for being blessed with a son and he loved his son more for being born special. He had always wondered how his baby would turn out to be and he was happy with the outcome. More tears flew out as he smiled down at his bundle of joy.

"Jonah, it's me. It's Daddy," he repeatedly uttered out emotionally and kissed his son's forehead before inhaling his scent. The baby whined quietly but he did not push his father away. If anything, he welcomed the love and affection his father was showering on him.

Jason proceeded to lie on his bed and carefully placed his son on his chest, making sure he was comfortable and breathing well.

"Life is going to be a little difficult for us after this, Jonah. But I can assure you we'll be fine. Daddy will work hard and will be the best dad for you, Jonah. We don't need Kyle. Daddy is enough," he muttered and pecked his son's little-hair-head.

The father-son pair stayed in each other's embrace till they fell asleep together.