Became an Academy Spearman

838. [Western Front] – Sense of Guilt (114)

***

A man and a woman come close to the point where their breath touches each other.

This inevitably creates a strange atmosphere in which both people can’t help but feel strange emotions.

Even if we didn’t have any feelings for each other.

Even if it’s a relationship that can’t be done with each other.

Even if you don’t have any rational feelings.

That was completely natural.

But even so, the two people were now very nervous as they faced each other.

“… … .”

“… … .”

Still, nothing is said.

In particular, Cheonseong was more nervous than ever and was holding his breath.

‘Is this the best?’

I think about it again and again.

As my thoughts continue to harden, I look back again and again to see if I really had any other thoughts and if this is the best thing to do.

But the answer was fixed.

Because this is how I already thought about it for hours and made a decision.

Then, the best I could think of was this.

That is why we have come to this situation.

A strange situation where Anastasia was looking down at me from above.

I carefully sit down and raise my head to look at her.

The fact that they both found a compromise was an extremely heterogeneous behavior.

Sreuk.

Immediately after, she looked down at me, exhaled softly and placed her hand on my shoulder.

At that moment, even though I tried to remain calm, I had to give up without realizing it.

“… … “Then I will do it.”

Even though the voice is cold, you can feel the hesitation contained in it. And I felt that I had no choice but to do it.

“… … yes.”

As I answered, I also couldn’t describe how I felt right now.

She and I probably both feel the same way.

I’m not happy with this situation at all, and I feel a huge sense of rejection.

But I do it because I have to.

As I gently opened my lips, Anastasia, who was holding my shoulder for support, very carefully opened her mouth.

And in between… … .

“… … .”

Looking at her like that, I closed my eyes tightly without realizing it.

This wasn’t something to do.

It was especially difficult for both of us to watch her try so hard to force herself to do it. So I couldn’t look at it.

Tuk.

A strange liquid dripped from my previously opened mouth.

It was sticky.

And it was dark.

Maybe it was because I closed my eyes, but I could clearly feel someone else’s saliva entering my mouth. And because of that, my heart was greatly shaken.

‘really… … .’

I’m doing it now.

Anastasia is spilling her saliva from above, and I am drinking it from below.

Since I could never kiss her, even though I was receiving some of her saliva like this, my hands were shaking.

Gulp… … .

I tried my best to erase the sensation by slowly and stickily falling.

An indescribable sensation in my mouth.

And the strange sensation of her saliva running down my throat.

Trying to exclude anything and everything.

And no matter how much saliva flowed into my mouth, the saliva that was falling into my mouth stopped at some point.

Gulp.

As I swallowed it again and gently opened my eyes, I saw Anastasia with her eyes slightly frowning.

The hair that has returned to its original blue color.

Her face is so distraught that I wonder if I am making that kind of expression right now.

and… … I thought it was completely different, but when I looked up at her without realizing it, I remembered it.

My lover, a woman I often think of every night because I can’t see her.

An extremely lovely woman who gave me my first experience and tried to accept everything I had even though it was very difficult.

‘Glesia.’

At that moment, when I saw her overlap with Anastasia, I felt like I had lost my mind without realizing it.

Swish!

And at that moment, Anastasia, who was holding my shoulder, quickly pulled away from me.

“first of all… … Let’s stop here. And after checking your body’s reaction, you need to establish an exact standard for how much you should repeat.”

She seemed embarrassed, but her words made sense, and I quickly came to my senses.

“… … yes.”

As I looked up and straightened my head, I felt dizzy.

Gulp.

As I swallowed the remaining residue in my mouth again, I felt very strange.

No, a feeling of guilt came over my whole body.

‘What am I…? … .’

What am I doing now?

Sreuk!

Even as I clenched my hands tightly, my mind felt dizzy. But after struggling to leave that confusion behind, her saliva entered my body.

So, I focused my attention on the changes in my body.

“… … .”

I lose focus in a daze and focus my mind.

It was a kind of forced concentration.

Not long after contemplating my body like that, I felt a change.

Exciting!

Exciting!

My heart is beating violently.

And strangely, I felt different from usual, as if there was a change in the mana circulating throughout my body.

A feeling as if overflowing with power.

However, considering the standard power I had assumed, it was not enough.

This wasn’t enough.

‘more… … .’

It really needs a lot more power.

I have to use oppression to suppress the power that fills my body, and then inflate that suppressed power to focus the spiral on just ‘one point.’

And at the end, the fourth consciousness, Suravicheon, must be developed through the spiral accumulated through oppression.

This was the minimum condition to break the ‘sealing ceremony’ that I thought of.

And that was to reproduce Eustea’s enlightenment in my own way.

“… … .”

The more I thought about it, the more out of breath I became.

It was literally mountainous.

It is not easy to even indirectly accumulate Anastasia’s energy in my body right now, but the difficulty of the power I have to create while handling that energy is beyond imagination.

I know reason, I know memory.

Even I, who now clearly remember how Eustea destroyed the sealing ceremony, was out of breath at this level.

‘How should I explain this to Anastasia and have her implement it?’

It was impossible.

I can say without a doubt that I have to go beyond overlapping spirals and tell her to separately embody the same power as Surabicheon, so I am the only one who can do that.

therefore.

Sreuk!

I strained my hand to crush it, suppressing the guilt that was filling my heart.

A moment ago, my mind projected Glesia from Anastasia for a moment. Even now, I am trying to overcome the desire to let go of everything and give up and set myself straight.

And then I looked at her, who was three steps closer to me.

She was turning away from me, probably because her previous actions had put a strain on her, but I had to call her again.

“… Major Anastasia.”

“uh.”

Still a cold answer. Seeing her trying not to contain her emotions as much as possible, she squeezed her words out.

“There are changes in the body. However, I feel like I need to do the same thing 10 more times.”

Shocked.

Watching her tremble at my words, I wasn’t sure if even 10 times would be enough.

But realistically, I felt like I had to do it 10 times to get the standard. If she gets called further here, she will feel even more burdened.

“Whoa… … .”

She let out a deep sigh and turned to me, but this time I didn’t close my eyes.

I just faced it.

Just like facing reality without avoiding it, if I hesitate, Anastasia, who has to act towards me, will feel a greater burden.

“Let’s start again. I also saliva… … “It’s not easy to collect, so I think I’ll probably have to adapt more.”

Seeing her answer with difficulty, I nodded again.

It was just the beginning.

‘Okay, let’s start… … .’

I will somehow break this sealing ceremony and move on to reality.

By executing the nine apostles, we will definitely return to our original daily life.

‘If only to see Glesia again… … .’

So me and Anastasia had to endure each other more now.

***

It was already the third time.

Grumbling… … .

Anastasia frowned as she couldn’t get used to the feeling of saliva flowing down her lips.

“… … .”

I really thought I would do something like this.

And I never once thought I would do it.

And I can still see it with my eyes.

When I first tried it, Han Tiansheng, who was obviously looking up at me, closed his eyes tightly. It’s as if it’s difficult to make eye contact at this moment.

That was the same for me too.

On the second attempt, I seemed to have made up my mind and tried to calmly accept the situation without closing my eyes any longer.

Gulp… … .

And the sight of him receiving my saliva and swallowing it carefully, like now, is very strange.

A situation that neither of us expected.

Nevertheless, it has to be done.

Now that the two things have overlapped… … .

I felt even more strange.

Glesia came to mind, and as Han Tiansheng’s expression showed anguish, so did my heart.

I absent-mindedly let saliva flow from my lips, then closed my mouth.

Due to the foreign behavior, the body was unnecessarily tense. And saliva wasn’t as freely flowing as I thought.

Sreuk.

I gently withdrew my hand from my shoulder and opened my mouth in a daze.

“… … Let’s take a break and try again.”

“Yes, thank you for your hard work.”

“no.”

I answer blankly and widen the distance.

My mind is dizzy.

And it wasn’t just me.

Han Tiansheng, who was facing me now, also seemed dizzy.

Sarah.

With that distance between us, I took a moment to catch my breath.

‘It’s not good.’

I suddenly thought so.

No matter how much I think about it, this act… … .

It didn’t seem like a very good thing to do.

But the fact that I would have to repeat this 7 more times in the future was so scary to me.

‘What kind of face am I making right now?’

I don’t know.

But the look on Han Tiansheng’s face as he looked up at me seemed very obvious to me.

‘Don’t think any more.’

Just thinking about it made me feel like a strange sense of guilt was pressing on my heart.