Became an Academy Spearman

865. [Western Front] – See through (141)

***

Meanwhile, as Cheonseong returned to the enemy barracks and spent time there, he continued to feel that his mind was somewhere else.

That’s why the conversation with Shiffrin that morning was shocking.

Crash.

When Cheonseong returned to the inner room in the evening, he suddenly touched his face.

He relaxed his calm expression as if nothing had happened, and soon took on a tired expression.

“… “It seemed like everyone else could see it.”

As we spent time together, I could clearly see that both Ensign Sabrina and Ensign Rune were constantly worried about me.

I guess I wasn’t very good at hiding my emotions.

It felt real again.

‘So I am.’

Maybe everyone was caught by Shiffrin.

Even if I didn’t say it or made a mistake, she could easily see the truth.

Now that I think about it, I think that’s probably the strength of her character. Realistically, in order to infer that much, there would have to have been some way of finding out my information.

Well, well.

I chewed my lips and involuntarily let out a loud sigh.

“Whoa… .”

While sitting on the bed, I roughly stroked my hair.

The day is hard.

It’s hard to handle.

You become more aware of your own shortcomings.

There are so many different emotions that linger in my heart.

Honestly, after reaching level 8, I was very excited.

Even though I was going to meet Anastasia yesterday, I was a little excited to the point where I expected her to be surprised by my growth.

That’s right, attribute level 8 is a very big growth.

I even felt an unprecedented sense of omnipotence, to the point where I felt I had become 50% stronger, even though I couldn’t feel it compared to when I was at level 7.

But reality did not let me indulge in such sentiments.

“under… … .”

I let out a laugh and absently placed my hand on my cheek.

It was like that yesterday, and it was like that today too.

Facing Shiffrin, I couldn’t clearly tell how strong she was.

Even though I put a lot of effort and care into it, it was like that.

That meant she was ‘above’ me.

“Why is the world so big?”

I too can feel feelings of pride and arrogance.

As a human being, I would like to be happy with my growth and settle down with reality for a while, but the world I would face was ridiculously large.

There are many beings stronger than me, and even as I continue to grow, I will not let myself fall into pride and arrogance.

It was as if reality was showing me.

“You should look higher… … .”

So I felt a little like that.

It felt like a child was complaining, and I felt the same way.

It’s a little difficult because my happy heart has subsided and I feel like I’m facing the cold reality again.

I just want to be a little immersed in joy.

I want to be satisfied with my growth and just relax for a few days… … .

Actually, my heart says I can’t do that.

dump.

“… … .”

As I slowly lay down, my mind was quickly thinking about a woman named Shiffrin.

Between the jet-black hair that reached down to his waist, his cold eyes looked at me.

At first glance, it reminded me of the indifferent Azazel, but the atmosphere was completely different from hers. It feels like they are analyzing me thoroughly.

The unique feeling of looking down from above, knowing everything about me, was different from Azazel.

“It felt like he was evaluating me.”

If I were to be honest, it felt like that.

It feels like the country is evaluating the human being itself and assigning points to each individual to determine what value they have.

So even now, I can’t guess specifically.

What did she want from me when she approached me and why did she spend time alone with me today?

“… Was he trying to use me as an excuse to expose a smokescreen with Anastasia?”

If I really thought about it, I thought that was the purpose.

Even though my eyes were slightly blurred, I felt really strange.

Until now, I thought that I had generally treated people with kindness.

Even if I was evaluated by someone, I generally received good evaluations, and I can definitely say that I have never seen anyone undervalue me since Grand Colosseum.

Shiffrin was the same in that sense.

It didn’t feel like they were underestimating me or looking down on me.

But it was very strange.

“The emperor’s closest associates… … .”

They are competing for the throne even among the shadows of the empire. Maybe I was weighed down by the weight of her various powers and her name.

Today, I looked back on my conversation with Shiffrin countless times and wondered if my attitude was really the best. I repeatedly thought about whether there was another way.

But no matter how many times I thought about it, there was only one answer.

“It wouldn’t have changed the result.”

No matter what I said or what attitude I showed, there could be no worse outcome than this against Shiffrin.

That was the conclusion I came to.

It was my best.

That’s how I chose and accepted the promise she proposed.

In the first place, given my current position, I avoid talking to Shiffrin, and I am not in a position to do so. Because she is a key person who is trusted by the emperor and can be called superior to me in name and reality.

So, there was no point in me regretting this.

Regretting it doesn’t change the outcome, and going back to that time doesn’t change the outcome of the conversation.

I know all that.

My heart was just heavy.

“In the end, you have to trust her.”

As I mumbled, the corners of my eyes slightly furrowed.

In fact, I was more anxious about that than anything else. I needed to trust someone, but I wasn’t sure if it was someone I could trust.

‘Did she really promise me the truth?’

I was just anxious that I had no choice but to believe her strange words that she liked me.

Sreuk.

As I lay down, I brushed my hair again.

“… … “So did Anastasia.”

Suddenly, a later meeting came to mind.

After breaking up with Shiffrin, I voluntarily spoke with Anastasia separately. I inevitably had to tell her about my conversation with Shiffrin, and Anastasia understood me so easily.

-I understand, you had no choice but to do that.

-It’s hard for me to think of any other answer while dealing with Shiffrin.

What she said to me still comes to mind clearly.

Even though she revealed the truth, which was close to the truth, she did not criticize me or look at me pitifully.

Anastasia just calmly admitted.

“It was something that could not be helped… … .”

Even though I mumbled it, I couldn’t help but feel regretful about it.

I don’t know if it’s okay for her, the Emperor’s closest confidant, to find out the truth about Anastasia and me, but I feel like it’s my mistake.

Slurp.

He lowered his hand from his hair and stroked his face, then shook his head.

“Let’s not think too negatively.”

With my anxiety welling up, I felt like I was in a very bad situation.

Is it because I have only experienced the worst trials so far? I also accepted the person named Shiffrin, who suddenly visited the Western Front, as if he was plotting something evil.

She is by no means an apostle.

Even though he is merely a close associate of the powerful emperor.

I guess and think about bad situations. When I realized that, it was just funny.

“There is no reason to think of the imperial family as an enemy.”

Why was I so anxious?

The obvious enemy was always the Nine Apostles.

As I organized my thoughts, I felt a little lighter.

Definitely not the enemy. It was an ally.

Even if my position within the imperial family rose further and my presence became more visible, in the end, I was still important.

Anastasia spread the rumor that she was in a romantic relationship with me to protect me, but what was more important was the attitude I had to show.

The point was whether I would respond well or not.

“And I said it was a promise.”

Suddenly, Shiffrin’s words came to mind.

The conditions called promises that I demanded in return for her helping me.

Even thinking about it now, it was strange.

“… … “I will devote myself to the empire and become lovers in the true sense of the word with Anastasia.”

Even as I engraved that in my head, I thought it wasn’t that difficult.

I am devoting myself to the empire by serving on the front lines, and I will dedicate myself to the empire even more in the future as I ultimately aim to rise to the leading position of the empire.

Whether I want it or not.

“Because this empire will be my home.”

If I want to think about a future without anxiety with multiple lovers, I must end up with the nine apostles.

So, something else came to mind.

“Between Anastasia and a true lover… … .”

I took it as a double meaning.

Don’t let others suspect your relationship with Anastasia.

Another semantics is that I literally want Anastasia and I to become lovers… … .

“That is, in the end, unless Anastasia rejects me.”

I will not be the first to reject the relationship with her that has spread throughout the empire. So, I made a promise, but I thought it was already a fulfilled promise.

It’s not an unreasonable request.

“… … .”

I thought about it in a slightly different direction than before, perhaps because I felt at ease while thinking about it in a daze.

‘Syprin Devzerin.’

A being devoted to the empire.

A leader among the shadows of the empire.

The emperor’s closest aide.

… … .

Although conscious of many facts, the true purpose she wants from me.

“Surely, everyone was sincere?”

I wasn’t sure if he was someone I could trust or not. So I was anxious.

But when I combined the attitudes and promises she made to me and the knowledge I had about her, I could only come to one conclusion.

Even as I absentmindedly caressed my cheek, the corners of my eyes became blurry.

I continued to be suspicious and wary.

Because I did not think that a woman named Shiffrin came to the Western Front in a friendly manner.

So, I didn’t feel good about the conversation that happened today.

Because I found out something I shouldn’t have found out, and I thought she was playing with me.

However, rather than thinking about it negatively and warily, if you just look at the situation, there is a lot more room to look at it positively.

“… … Did you really like me? So you’re going to help me?”

So, while guessing about my relationship with Anastasia, I wonder if she brought up the word help me.

It’s a hard assumption to believe, but if you think about it that way, it makes sense.

Her words and actions, which seem difficult to understand, are understandable to some extent.

“but… … .”

Why?

Why does she, the emperor’s closest confidant, like me and help me, even though this is our second meeting today?

He also said that he would help me by using the bait for not even feeling much in return.

“Because it completely overlooked me… … .”

The answer to that suddenly came to mind.

It was possible if she recognized my characteristics or abilities.

In fact, even though I didn’t make any special mistakes, Shiffrin was extraordinary enough to see through my relationship with Anastasia.

It was just one thing.

“Her characteristics are of that type.”

In other words, it will be close to something that allows us to know the essence of existence.

And Shiffrin was the head of Merin’s Dew Guild, which secretly dealt with special information. Why can she lead such a guild?

Although her characteristics were not revealed in the story, the reason was simple.

‘Information that can reveal the true nature of the other person,’

Because she can know information that no one else can know.

“therefore… … .”

If she recognized the fact that I inherited Eustea’s spear skills, or the special abilities of the high elves, such as mana and suppression.

Then it all makes sense.

Even though I was blinking blankly, it felt like the whole puzzle had come together in an instant.

“ah.”

Even as I opened my mouth for a moment, I was shocked.

A person who was wary and suspicious.

The truth is that it may be the person in this world who recognizes me and judges my worth.

… … So she wants to help me.

Because I think I am absolutely essential to this empire.

Gulp.

While swallowing my saliva, I suddenly stood up.

As far as I know, she is leaving this Western Front tomorrow. She would have had another personal meeting with Anastasia and she would be leaving tomorrow morning.

“Wait a minute, then we need to talk more properly.”

I was making too much of a mistake to let her go like this.

Sreuk!

With that thought in mind, I put back on the officer’s uniform coat that I had hastily put away.

It was late at night, but I needed to talk to her again, even now.