Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: United in Secrecy



Summary: Hanging out with friends, reunions about.

"Hold it, hold it, hold it Q-fly, back it up a little." Ponyhead called from her the prison cell that the headmaster called a bedroom. "Goblin dogs are actually real?" She was only allowed three phone calls a year, so she chose to use one of them for her preferred little brother figure.

"Yes, and somehow Kelly was right! For a moment I was one with the universe in harmony." Quartz look more ecstatic about the hotdogs than Cookie Cats. It must be even more delicious than the legends said it was. "And Kelly and Tad were pretty cool, well Kelly was, Tad sort of just sat in her hair and did nothing most of the time."

 Oooh, the gossip section of her brain was starting to tingle. "Already thinking of girls now, Q-fly? I'm gone for two months, and you already got your first crush."

"Whataya talking about? Kelly and Tad are already dating, and we just met." That didn't mean jack in the grand scheme of things.

"Oh come on now, this is the first girl you've ever talked about positively … unless you've got a crush on yours truly." She smirked and gave her stump a sway.

"Don't be gross, pony, that's like having a crush on my sister." She knew that, but the reaction was fun all the same. "Speaking of, I heard you met with her before getting hauled to Saint O's."

"Yeah, I wanted to have one last hoo-hah with my bestie through as many fun dimensions as possible. Probably would've gone to a couple dozen if it wasn't for the Earth turd dragging us down the entire time."

"Come on, Ponyhead, Star's human guide can't possibly be that bad."

"Oh no, he's actually worse, always getting on my case, talking about 'caution' and 'safety' and trying to take away my BFF title!"

"Did he say it, or is this the trash can situation all over again?" Q-fly asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, at the time, you had no idea what I was trying to do, and we all had a blast at the end anyways." Who knew the best way to not hate someone was to laugh with them as you rolled down a hill? "And I may have, sorta not really accidentally, on purpose, threatened to stab him if he got in the way. He was really just this sweaty dorky nerd in the end, so he's not too much trouble."

"I think threatening to stab people is why you were being locked up to begin with." The boy sighed. "And please tell Star she's overreacting about how horrible it is in there, will ya?"

"Oh I would in a heartbeat, Q-fly, except it's worse. No one's died…well not yet, but all life has practically left everyone except me! My spirit will remain unbroken!" And there was a princess planning a break out in a few weeks, so there was always that option on the table. "But other than the attempts to whittle down my party life, everything's going great. So castle life is still treating you well?"

"It's fine…I guess. Been spending more time with Mom and Dad to control my magic. I shoot out hexagons now, so that's new." Quartz's mouth was notably sinking downwards

"Hey now, Q-fly, I'm the only one around here that's supposed to have a long face. What's got ya so bummed out?" She asked the boy.

"It's a bit lonely at night without Star, hanging out until we passed out and stuff. She's the main reason why I got out of the castle at all, and Mom and dad are starting to feel a bit restrictive. They don't want me going to earth at all for some reason."

"Controlling parents, the bane of any teenager. That's how you know you're growing up, Q-fly. Soon you'll be sneaking off at night all on your own and partying at clubs for two days straight and then wake up in a random stranger's bathroom." She wiped a few tears from her eyes. They grew up so fast.

"But what if I see something gross in there, like a cockroach, or an unflushed toilet!?"

"Being scarred for life is a part of growing up too."

"And just like that, any excitement for adulthood just vanished. I never want to grow up now." Amen brother, amen to that.

"Trust me, it's better than it sounds." She smirked. "Just try and keep close with Kelly, you don't want anyone to snatch up your crush right?"

"She's already dating Tad, Pony. I'm showing them both around Mewni today, mainly us riding Lion around the forest of certain death."

"Sounds pretty romantic. Just toss the third wheel into a ditch or something, and it'll just be you and her."

"That's rude! … Also He lives in her hair."

"So he's a bum. Even better, you'd be doing her a favor and she'll be falling head over heels for you."

"And I'm pretty sure we've officially reached the end of this conversation. See yah, Ponyhead, I'll be sure to show up to your birthday."

"See yah, bro, have a great date!" The annoyed face he made as the mirror went static was a nice treat to have before going back to the hell she was forced to live in now. Maybe she should have told him about the scissors she gave Star….nah, B-fly would tell him eventually.

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"Your parents are having an anniversary!?" Star screamed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I just did." Marco, the boy she lived with, shrugged. "Besides, you can just split my gift." He held up two weird looking satchel's. "Fanny packs, the most handy and trusted pack one can ever equip themselves with!"

"But I want to give them an actual good gift, because your parents are actually cool."

"I'm going to chalk that last part to you being new to this dimension…wait, what do you mean by actually good?"

"You know, gifts that don't make you look like a complete nerd…no offense, it looks adorable on you."

"I am NOT adorable." He frowned.

"The more you deny it, the more cute you look." She countered with a giggle. "Trust me Marco, my brother does the exact same thing when he's trying to act all tough."

"Whatever." Seeing that he was losing the argument, Marco made his way down the stairs, so Star naturally followed along. "Either way, you shouldn't worry too much about it. You're our guest in this house after all, you shouldn't feel like you have to give them something."

"But we always pay people back. When people are hospitable we give them fortune, when they slight us we chop off their heads. It's this whole system." It's how Mewni became such a great place! "And not to brag, but me and Quartz are experts at giving people exactly what they want. On mom's birthday last year, we gave her a day of complete silence." Admittedly a boring example, but their mom was happy with it all the same.

"I'm just gonna overlook the chopping heads thing and say this is a terrible idea. My parents like sweet and simple things, that's what they get whenever they vacation after all."

"Vacation huh…you don't say…?" An idea instantly formed in her head. 

Marco, looking worried for some odd reason, stopped her in her spot. "Star, that's the face you made when you turned Miss Skullnick into a troll and took over the football field. You only get that face when you think about something reckless."

"Hah, you think a simple stroll around Mewni is reckless?"

"The place where monsters come from?"

"They live in the outborders and swamps and caves. I'm just going to take them through Mewni's peasant town and let them see the sights for themselves. Monster's haven't been able to break through Mewni's defenses for years. Any that do are just lucky and get thrown out with the trash pretty quickly." Anytime Ludo was dumped in with a five day old corn salad was always fun to see.

"Fine, but what about your parents? Aren't you not suppose to be stuck on earth and only earth as far as they know?" That was a fair point. One whiff of those dimensional scissors, and she'd be using them for a one way express ticket to Saint Olga's with a cell right next to Ponyhead. Luckily, she always knew how to squeeze out of a tight spot.

"Mom never leaves the castle on normal days, and dad is off giving some lectures out of town. The rest of Mewni is practically all mine to do as I please." It would be just like the good old days, except she couldn't go to the castle and see what her brother was up to in fear of incurring mom's wrath. "Come on, Marco, your parent's have been really chill with everything, the castle room, the laser puppies, I just want to show my thanks for not freaking out like my mom does."

"… Fine, but I reserve the right to bail the moment this gets too dangerous."

"Oh, what's a little danger to the safe kid who karate chops monster heads almost daily?" Another thing she was great at was knowing her best friend well enough to know what buttons to push. "I guarantee that absolutely nothing will go wrong."

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"Everything's going wrong!" Thirty minutes, that was twice as much time as he was expecting everything to go off the rails. He must really be off his game today. "My dad's still in town for some reason, we've gotta get out of here!"

"Alright, that's perfectly fine." Marco smiled. "let's get back home, and you can share my Fanny pack gift."

"So many trinkets, this is such a great vacation spot, no?" His dad asked out loud to no one in particular as he and his mom were too busy taking pictures to notice Star's sudden outburst of panic. 

"Yes, thank you Star for giving us such a wonderful gift! I've always felt like gifts were always just expressions of just how much someone cares and appreciates someone, and this shows just how caring you really are, Star." His mom patted the now guilt ridden girl on the back. "You're a great person."

"Heha, yeah, totally great, you know what, we haven't seen enough of Mewni's more naturally scenic sights! To the forest we go!" Star laughed nervously as she shoved everyone off to a forest that triggered all his danger senses.

"Anything about this particular forest we should know about?" He was probably going to use his bail here and now.

"Oh nothing much, just a quick mid afternoon walk through the forest of certain death." WHAT?! "Oh relax, that name is a complete exaggeration…it's more like the forest of certain death-like experiences and trauma."

"Star, I do not want my parents traumatized!" He shouted at her.

"Aww, this toothy plant looks lovely." … Right, they were immune to reading a room, how could he forget.

"Hey, look over there." Marco had the 'adults' look the other way before unzipping his fanny pack and tossing a few pieces of granola and gum into the obvious trap. Sure enough, the plant's mouth, the size of all their heads combined, closed and unable to reopen it due to the stickiness. "Star, I'm using that bail!"

"Come on, Marco, they're having a great time! I can't ruin this for them just yet! Let's just make sure they have fun while we take care of the dangerous stuff."

"This forest IS dangerous stuff!" He was beginning to raise his voice before a hand was shoved on his face.

"They don't know that!" Star shouted in a whispery voice. "And as long as they're oblivious, we can keep going. It's like how I was able to take my brother into the woods for camping while secretly meeting up with my boyfriend that he hated."

"This is not the time to-wait, you have a boyfriend?"

"Ex-boyfriend now. Big jerk couldn't put a lid on his anger." His friend scoffed in remembrance. "I ignored all those wildfires he started for nothing." That should have been the biggest sign!

"You have a very warped sense of danger!" He spoke, shoving his parents away from quicksand.

"Hey, danger to me is when you're dangling off a cliff and you're the only thing keeping your little brother from falling in." Star shot a snake that was overhead. "And don't be a hypocrite, you said you'd welcome a little 'danger' in your life!"

"Yeah, my life, not there's!" He punched a bear coming right at them in its snout, making it back off. "They're fine being simple and a bit boring, I'm not!"

"Whataya talking about? The art they make is great! Less boring than the one's mom makes me pose for." Cupcakes were fired at an incoming tiger.

"We're getting off topic, you gave them some time in Mewni, so let's end it right here before something actually terrible happens." He used some shears to cut away some poison Ivy vines. "Come on Mom, Dad we're leaving."

"Oh come on Marco." Star waved him off. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Don't say those words!" Marco hushed the girl! "They're a bad omen. Now let's…" His parents were no longer in his line of sight. "Where the heck are they!?"

"Ah Marco…" Star pointed ahead of them, and they saw a giant hydra-like creature stumbling into a cave…with some poking and screaming coming out of the side of its stomach.

"Like I said … bad omen."

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"You seriously get to ride this guy everyday?" Kelly asked as she rode atop a portal hopping pink lion, holding on to her new friend Quartz Butterfly. "How lucky can you get?"

"Not everyday … he kinda does as he pleases." The boy shrugged. "It's how I got into the punching dimension. Riding Lion is a bit of a gamble. One time I got lost in a dimension filled with greasey grandmas…seriously, why does that world even exist!"

"Still lucky. You have no idea how long I've been trying to get my own dragon-cycle, but the five months of physical therapy from all the punches wouldn't be worth it." 'She shivered at the memory of her last 'attempt'.

"There, there babe, the punches are over, you're safe now." Tad rubbed her head in the comforting way that he did whenever she was too stressed. "Well, besides chasing a Hydra, but those guys are chumps."

"Remind me why we're chasing him to begin with?" Kelly asked. "Not against it, but I'd like context."

"Didn't mean to chase him, but the thing's been eating a lot of Mewmans, and I'd like to get them out of its guts before they get digested. Plus I need to practice magic on something I won't feel guilty about attacking." Fair enough. "I mean, I still will, but not as much."

"You really need to learn violence, you won't be able to talk down everybody." She stated. "Like that Ludo guy you rant about, right?"

"He just needs therapy, but everyone says he's 'a monster' and that I 'should fight him to the death' and stuff like that."

"I mean, if it HAS to go that far…" The kid sent her a look. "Nuts to the monster stuff though. My last boyfriend was a giant talking dog, and Jordy was great." A bit too into the 'guard dog' role though.

"But now you got someone better than him, right?" Tad asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yeah, I do." Until they broke up again, then she'd date someone else for a bit and then go back to Tad. It's how their relationship stayed stable.

"Okay people, we're heading into its cave, so watch your heads." Quartz warned them as the lion pounced right in. "This is like the fifth time this year I've been in this cave. First three times was because my dad was waiting for monster's to pass by."

"Isn't your dad the king?" She asked. The fact Quartz was a prince was more of an afterthought if anything.

"Yeah, but he sneaks off to fight monsters when Mom's not watching him. She had me follow him one day to see where he goes on his 'lectures'. I saw how much fun he was having, so I didn't say anything." The boy smiled. "When I told him about it he actually sat me down and told me he fought off a monster fish because it ate me. It made me feel warm that he'd do that without even knowing me at the time."

That was an interesting tid bit. "You're adopted?"

"Yeah, but I've been a Butterfly since I was a baby, so I hardly think about it. Last time I did though, a jerk made me cry for a week, so better to leave that can unopened."

"Don't worry homie, it happens." Tad spoke up. "My real parents were jerks so I left. Sometimes it's better to be with the people who make you love life rather than the ones that gave it to you." That wasn't an excuse to keep leaving pizza boxes in her hair.

"Doesn't that sum up my life." Quartz smirked. The short kid was cute when he did that. "Hang on, I think we got our target."

Sure enough, a blue multi headed creature was right in front of them. "So many heads, so few targets." Kelly smiled as she took out one of her many oversized swords. "I got the ones on the right, you get the ones on the…"

"Heeeeyah!" A shout from a red hooded figure echoed through the cave, where he then axe-kicked one of the heads. "If you really wanted to give my parents a gift, you could've just got them a card, or a cake!"

"I really wanted it to be special, not just something that generic! Mega NARWHAL BLAST!" Shouted a crazy looking girl, waving her wand as it shot out narwhals into the hydra.

Kelly looked at the crazy wand girl and hoodie wearing kid. "Who are these guys?"

Quartz looked at them with a smile. "Star!"

The wand girl blinked before smiling back. "Quartz! You brought a friend too!?"

"Oh yeah. Kelly Star, Star Kelly, Tad Star, Star Tad." He said, waving his hand back and forth.

"Oh right, introductions. Marco Quartz, Quartz Marco, Marco Kelly, Kelly Marco, Marco Tad, Tad Marco." A roar occured. "Marco Lion, Lion Marco."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE A LION!?"

"Short story, he belongs to a great hero of Mewni and he likes following me around for some reason." Quartz quickly explained. "Wait, Star, why are you on Mewni? How are you on Mewni? Lion's been with me the whole time you've been gone." 

"Short story, Ponyhead gave me dimensional scissors before she got dragged to Saint O's, and we've decided to take the Diaz's on a small trip." The hydra roared. "We've hit a bit of a snafu."

"So we're all in the business of kicking hydra tailed-butt right now?" Kelly raised her sword in the air. "Blade's been getting a bit dull lately, just saying."

"I'm always in the mood to kick monsters butt!" Star shouted. "Cupcake Blast!"

"Hexagon shot!" Quartz blasted out one of those pink disks into one of their necks. Kelly knew she was right to keep following this guy, the chances for fights just seemed to come to them naturally. "Come on Lion, let's take this guy down!"

"Wait, you named him Lion?"

"I do not want to hear this from the guy living in Beech Creek!" They all seemed like very lively and fun people.

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"Over and under ,around and through!" Quartz swung from the beast's neck as he tricked the beast into tying it up within itself.

"Take the Mewni Rabbit…"! Star physically grabbed one of the heads and pulled it into the final loop they needed. "…and pull it through!"

"I never heard this rhyme …" Marco spoke, kicking a head into another hole. "But it's just like shoe lace!"

"And the thing about tying knots is that when you can't undo it…" With the monster's head now dazed and confused, Kelly had the perfect shot to attack from above. "Ya just gotta split it open in half!" The sword she carried sliced through the clump of meat that was the hydra's neck. The blood got all over them.

"It's been a while since a monster fight got this messy…boy have I missed this." Star smiled even with hydra juice dripping down their bodies. "Goop hug!"

"Goop hug!" Quartz returned the gesture with a tight squeeze of his own.

"Please tell me we can wash this out." Marco desperately tried to shake the mess off of him.

"Eh, a little club soda and pixie dust outta do the trick." Kelly shrugged. "It's what I did after I slayed my first dragon."

"Right, other dimensions mean more danger, need to remember that." The hooded boy shook his head. "Now let's open the guy up, I don't think my parents can breathe in this thing for much longer."

"Hey Marco!" An older voice cried out, and they all turned to see what looked like a married couple relaxing in one of the caves geyser pits. "The hot springs in Mewni are perfect! Best Anniversary ever!"

"…we fought that thing all for NOTHING!?" Guess Star hasn't taken him on the more advanced life threatening adventures just yet if he was freaking out over this.

"Not for nothing, there's still a bunch of Mewman's about to get digested." He pointed to the dead animal's stomach. "We just got to free them now…"

"Tally-HO!" The war cry of his Dad echoed in the air, and soon the man himself was plunging an ax into the hydra's stomach. Within seconds, the trapped citizens were all free. "Fear not, loyal subjects, you're all safe now, for your fearless king has…Star? What are you doing here?! You know you're not supposed to leave earth."

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?! Didn't you say you had some big lecture to give today? Does mom know you're out in the woods?"

"... Let's not make a big deal out of this." Dad waved off. "I mean, you know how stressful life can be. Nothing relaxes the nerves more than monster fighting."

"This explains so much yet so little." He could hear Marco mutter.

"I'm actually more surprised you didn't know about this sooner, Star." Quartz tilted his head. "He loves fighting monsters just as much as you."

"Yeah, he does, doesn't he? Guess we have at least ONE cool parent after all." Mom was pretty cool too, but they hardly got to see that side of her. "Alright, deal. You say nothing about dimension hopping, and I'll be quiet about the monster fighting."

"Deal. Last thing we both need is Moon-Pie breathing down our necks." Their dad chuckled. "Welp, I must be off, there's a couple wild manticores with my name on it!" With that, their dad jumps off to who knows where.

"So fighting basically runs through your entire family?" Kelly sent him a smirk. "It's a wonder how you can be such a pacifist around all that."

"It's not easy, I can tell you that much." He laughed. "So you're the same bouncing bundle of energy as always Star." He turned to the other two. "And I'm guessing you're the safe kid Mom asked for to watch over Star?"

"Okay, how do you even know that?! Did the universe just put up a sign on my back and label me 'safe kid' for every dimension to know!?"

"Sorry, no offense, but those were the exact words Mom asked to describe the human guide she wanted for Star."

"So she universally asked for a safe kid and the universe gave her me … Jana's never gonna let me live this down if she finds out."

"Well, her exact words were, and I quote.." Star spoke up. ""A knowledgeable and trustworthy person/people who has a clean reputation. Particularly one that has no association with anything bad, savage, dangerous, risky, or anything remotely resembling anything young ones consider 'cool'. Furthermore he/she should be by the books, be one to stray away from danger, cautionary.."

"...Let's get out of here before anything else happens, please." Marco's mood only sank deeper.

"Not yet, Diaz, not until I catch up with my bro!" Star turned to him. "You're doing great, and you're shooting weird shapes now, and you've made friends! Look at you, being all grown up and stuff." He fought off the need to blush. "So is she your girlfriend yet?" Again with this? He was going to tease her with Marco twice as hard just for that.

"Actually, I'm her boyfriend." The being in the hair spoke up. "I'm Tad, nice to meet a rockin crazy sister."

"Oh, so you're actually a person. For a minute, I thought you were just imaginary." Star rebutted.

"Nah, he's just lazy. More of the 'go with the flow' kind of guy." Kelly replied. "So if we all hang out together, can we expect more monster fighting?"

"You betcha!" Star pulled out her pair of Dimensional scissors. "Whenever you feel like coming to earth, Quartz, just call me and I'll portal you over in a heartbeat. That way mom never has to know about it."

"I get to go to earth!" Quartz shouted in excitement, hugging his sister. "Best day ever!" If only cookie cats would make a comeback, then everything would be absolutely perfect.

"Oh crap, there's two of them now." Marco said with a strange fearful expression.

"I know right, it's amazing!" Star shouted. Only good things could come out of this, he was sure of it!


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