Between Your Letter and My Reply

Chapter 159

『 Translator – Divinity 』

“Why did you run off when you’re sick?”

“I wasn’t feeling well, so I wanted to take a walk,” Damian made up an excuse, tired of Casey’s prying.

“I’m sorry. You couldn’t enjoy the fireworks properly because of me.”

Damian apologized with a sullen look, and Casey examined him, then shook his head, seeing that he still hadn’t wiped away all the cold sweat.

“No, it’s okay as long as you’re feeling better. Let’s go back now that you’ve recovered a bit. Eugene was very worried too.”

“Okay…”

Casey started walking, and Lilliana followed, then stopped and looked back at Damian.

“Don’t disappear again, okay?”

Her face and voice were as usual, as if their earlier conversation had never happened. Damian lowered his gaze and replied,

“…I’m sorry.”

Lilliana walked beside him, as if she thought he might run off again.

Even with Lilliana right next to him, Damian felt tormented. It seemed like she had misunderstood something, but he didn’t know how to clear it up.

And the words she had said earlier…

“I… am no longer curious about who I liked because of you.”

He wanted to know the exact meaning of those words.

While he was agonizing over it, they arrived back at the villa. Eugene, who had returned earlier, welcomed them.

“Damian, are you okay? Are you feeling better now?”

Damian, who had worried everyone, especially Eugene, felt ashamed.

“I’m really sorry. You couldn’t enjoy the fireworks properly because of me.”

“No, it’s okay. As long as you’re feeling better, Damian. We can see fireworks again later. There will be other opportunities, won’t there?”

Eugene comforted Damian with a kind smile. That made Damian feel even more miserable.

Damian sighed, looking at the cold food. But the others didn’t even glance at it and dragged him inside the villa.

“Damian, you need to lie down.”

“That’s right. You’ll feel better after getting some sleep. We’ll take care of cleaning up, so you go to bed first.”

Casey and Eugene led the way and took Damian to his room.

“No, I…”

Damian tried to stop them, but they wouldn’t listen. Even Lilliana pushed Damian’s back and said, “I’m more worried if you’re wandering around, so just lie down in bed, Damian.”

Damian felt overwhelmed by the situation. He couldn’t help but think that he had completely messed up.

This outing had to end happily, but because of the commotion he caused, not only Lilliana but also the other two couldn’t properly enjoy the fireworks they had been looking forward to. That weighed heavily on his mind and filled him with guilt.

After making sure Damian entered his room on the second floor, they firmly told him,

“Just get some rest. Okay?”

Damian nodded with a disgruntled look at Casey’s words. Casey and Eugene, satisfied with his response, gave him a brief goodnight and went downstairs.

As Damian was about to close the door, Lilliana, standing there with her arms crossed, asked, “Are you really going to sleep?”

Damian didn’t want to lie to her suspicious face, and since he did plan to lie down in bed whether he could sleep or not, he answered, “Yes.”

“No phantom pain…?” Lilliana asked worriedly, having seen Damian experience phantom pain along with hallucinations and panic attacks a few times.

But for some reason, he wasn’t experiencing phantom pain today. Damian clenched and unclenched his prosthetic right hand to show her.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay, that’s good. Get some rest then.”

Lilliana breathed a sigh of relief and turned away. Damian instinctively tried to grab her. But his mechanical arm only grasped at the air.

He had so much to say, so much he needed to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it, and he couldn’t hold onto Lilliana.

***

Damian rubbed his eyes and got out of bed. The sky was dim, and he could hear the chirping of early birds nearby.

It was a bit early to start preparing breakfast, but he didn’t feel like going back to bed. Damian’s eyes were bloodshot.

He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink all night, worrying about how to face Lilliana.

He washed his face in the bathroom and came to his senses. As his vision cleared, his mind felt sharper.

Then, the question that had kept him awake all night resurfaced. What did Lilliana mean by what she said last night?

“I… am no longer curious about who I liked because of you.”

Damian was confused by Lilliana’s casual remark.

Did “no longer curious” mean that she had lost interest in finding that bastard? That was good news. But because of me…?

Damian’s head shot up.

Is Lilliana also thinking about me?

But then he lowered his head again and scratched it roughly.

It wasn’t that Damian hadn’t considered the possibility. But he was also tired, and the mental stress was significant, so he couldn’t think straight and reach a conclusion.

More than anything, he didn’t think Lilliana could possibly like him.

He considered himself quite boring, and although he had a decent face, that was all he had, he thought. Besides, Lilliana had never treated him as anything more than a friend.

But what Lilliana did yesterday was different.

There were many ways to bring Damian back from a panic attack. Like Asher, she could have splashed him with water. Lilliana had seen it happen many times, so if she had to use a method other than a kiss, she would have poured seawater on him.

But she deliberately kissed him? Really, deliberately? But…

‘I don’t understand what it means.’

No matter how much he thought about it, there was no reason for Lilliana to like him.

So his confusion deepened. He wanted to be by Lilliana’s side. He wanted to be her closest person. But he didn’t know if Lilliana felt the same.

He couldn’t know. He wasn’t as good as Casey at reading people’s minds. It took him a while to even understand his own feelings, so how could he easily understand others’?

What did Lilliana want to happen between them? He was frustrated not knowing her feelings.

She had kissed him first, but afterward, she acted as if nothing had happened, showing no signs of emotional turmoil or change in her behavior towards him.

Last night, when they returned to the villa, hadn’t she acted as if nothing had happened, just like always, for a brief moment?

Of course, there was no rule that something had to drastically change just because of a single kiss. But still, he couldn’t pretend it never happened.

Was she really going to pretend the kiss never happened and just move on?

Who did she think she was…?

Damian felt a surge of defiance.

Was she going to pretend nothing happened and go back to being just friends, an employer? How could she treat it as if it were nothing? Moreover, it was Lilliana who initiated the kiss. Damian was just a passive recipient.

And now she was going to pretend she didn’t know? How could she be so unfair?

Damian felt a surge of anger, then calmed down again. It was Lilliana’s expression that bothered him.

“Every time you look at me, you make the same face you make when you talk about ‘Lady Lintray’…”

Lilliana’s face, as she said those words, was a mix of confusion and sadness. Damian had denied it, saying it wasn’t true, but he couldn’t explain himself properly.

It seemed like Lilliana didn’t believe him when he vehemently denied her words.

So it seemed like Lilliana was deeply misunderstanding and wanted to brush this situation aside.