Breaker: From A Nobody To A Villainess

There were many things that Ash was researching and learning just in case of any sudden changes in her lifestyle or if it was needed in the future.

Some were related to ways to better control her emotions and gain a better mastery of her new abilities.

It was better to keep a stable mind during encounters with spirits and to not be controlled by ones emotions.

It was very easy to fall victim to some traps or to be provoked into acting in a way that was dangerous for a Balancer or Breaker by spirits and even by humans.

Watching all kinds of horror movies and other highly emotional films was a way to let her gather more information on a wider variety of things while being able to better control those emotions.

Fear was her strongest emotion that had taken hold of her so watching scary movies had helped her to manage that a little.

Her fears and other negativity that came from her previous experiences could not be treated by a trained professional due to her being unable to expose her identity and other details about her past.

The only way for her to manage what she was dealing with was to watch self help books or to look up more professional knowledge and techniques related to trauma.

What she had found quite useful was that there were several grounding techniques that were available so she had practiced them almost everyday.

Body awareness exercises focussed more on bringing her into the here and now by directing her focus towards the sensations on her body as she performed the steps.

Ash was seated in a chair and took in a breath through her nose over three seconds, held it in for three seconds then exhaled through her puckered lips before resting for three seconds. "Huu."

She repeated that same action five times as she could feel the air entering and exiting her body along with the contracting and expanding of her chest.

Both feet were placed flat on the ground without any shoes being on them and once the first exercise had been completed, her toes wiggled and curled up several times as her focus was on noticing the sensations on her feet.

The next exercise was to stamp her feet on the ground and when they made contact with the ground, she was focussing on the sensations on her legs and feet as they made contact with the ground.

Her hands were clenched into fists and then the tension was released as it repeated ten times.

Both palms then faced each other and were pressed together harder then held like that for fifteen seconds as she paid attention to the tension in her hands and arms.

Her palms were then rubbed together briskly as she noticed the sounds and the feeling of warmth that were made by her action.

Ash reached her hands over her head like she was trying to reach for the sky and stretched out for five seconds.

Her arms were brought down to her sides as she had relaxed and took five more deep breaths.

She was noticing the feeling of calm in her body that had not been there previously. "Ha.."

Grounding techniques usually used sound, touch, smell, taste and sight to connect a person to the here and now.

It often took people away from the bad thoughts they were plagued by or helped them get through a difficult experience they were having.

Those that suffered from trauma usually saw reminders or when they experienced similar situations, they did not handle the situation well and entered a fight or flight mode.

Some completely shut off and had difficulty functioning while others may have gotten violent or ran away in response to such incidents.

A panic attack was a common symptom to be found when most people with deep traumas would be confronted with things that would remind them of those experiences.

Ash did not want to be ruled by her fears and her past weakness and helplessness so she had to seek out some ways of coping.

She was gradually adapting to the techniques and was becoming more familiar with them as she had practiced them almost every day.

Some techniques were more suited to certain environments and situations so that they could still be used at any given time while some required the Ash to find a place to sit down.

Her body had become less tense and more relaxed.

Her breathing had slowed and become very smooth and stable.

Her thoughts had become clearer and less cluttered.

Her emotions had calmed down and soothed.

The previous complicated thoughts and emotions that had plagued her had no longer been on her mind once her attention had been placed elsewhere.

Any kind of soothing, grounding or meditative techniques that could be used and were made available to the public had been tried out by her so that she could understand herself and try to further work on her own issues a little.

Once Ash was finished, she had taken a printout and started to fill it in like any other day since she had escaped the Mental Institution.

A pen was twirled in her hand as she started to circle some parts of the questionnaire that had work and social adjustments on it. 'One to ten.. how affected is my everyday life by my condition? Work? Hmm.. I have no work but I doubt I could handle that kind of environment so just put a six.'

She looked at the next part and looked around the room then saw many left out and unclean plates along with some wrappers and packets laying around her home. 'Home management.. six? Social leisure activities? Nine? Private leisure activities? Four. Family and relationships.. ten.'

Ash went onto the next section. 'I have been thinking of ways to harm myself? Yes. I plan to act on these thoughts? No? I feel safe from harm from others? No.'

She then went on to complete the final parts that asked about her experiences within the past week or weeks to see if she had been bothered by certain things and how often she was. '0 - zero to two days, 1 - three to seven days, 2 - eight to eleven days, 3 - twelve days and above.

Little interest and pleasure in doing things? Two. Feeling depressed or down? Three. Trouble with sleep? Three. Feeling tired and little energy? Three. Poor appetite or overeating? One. Feeling bad about myself? Two. Trouble concentrating? One….'

Ash continued to circle each number until she had looked over them and compared her current one to her previous printout. 'Hmm.. very little improvement but it is better than nothing.'