Broken Notes - A Two and a Half Men Fanfic

It was a quiet Saturday morning at the Harper house, or at least as quiet as it could be with Jake around. Nero had settled on the couch, strumming his guitar, while Charlie sat nearby, drinking his morning coffee and flipping through the newspaper. It had been a week since Alan and Jake moved in, and Nero had grown accustomed to the usual chaos. But today, things seemed to be gearing up for something a little more chaotic.

Charlie, lounging with his coffee, glanced at Nero. "So, any big plans today, or are you just gonna sit there playing sad rock star?"

Nero smirked, strumming a few soft chords. "Maybe. I'm working on 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls. Got anything better to do, or are you just going to work on adding another notch to your dating record?"

Charlie raised his coffee cup in mock salute. "It's a talent, kid. A gift. Speaking of which, I might have a date later."

Nero chuckled, shaking his head, just as Alan and Jake entered through the sliding glass door, catching their attention. Jake was holding a piece of toast in one hand and, to Nero's surprise, a bottle of ketchup in the other.

"I thought you said we were going to do something fun today, Uncle Charlie," Jake said, already squeezing ketchup onto his toast.

Charlie grimaced at the sight. "That's disgusting, kid."

Alan, already fussing, chimed in. "Jake, I told you, ketchup goes on hot dogs, not toast."

Jake shrugged, unfazed. "I like it."

Nero watched as Jake took a big bite of his ketchup-covered creation, barely reacting. Before Charlie could throw in one of his usual sarcastic remarks, a loud squawking came from the patio.

Nero raised an eyebrow, turning toward the sliding glass door. "What the hell was that?"

Charlie followed his gaze and squinted toward the patio. "Oh, great. Seagulls."

Sure enough, outside on the deck, a group of seagulls had decided to make themselves at home, perched on the railing and pecking at crumbs that had apparently been left behind during breakfast.

"Nice going, Jake," Charlie muttered, setting his coffee down and heading toward the door.

Nero followed, his curiosity piqued as he watched Charlie step outside and attempt to shoo the birds away. "Go on! Get outta here!" Charlie waved his arms, but the seagulls barely moved. One particularly bold seagull flapped its wings and squawked at him, almost defiantly.

"Great, now we've got feathered squatters," Charlie muttered. "Alan, you brought these in when you moved, right?"

Alan sighed, rolling his eyes. "Very funny, Charlie."

Later that day.

Charlie stormed back into the house, glaring at Jake. "Alright, kid, new rule—no feeding the seagulls. They're like bad relatives. Once they're here, they never leave."

Jake, with his innocent look, blinked up at him. "I didn't know they'd stay."

Nero leaned against the doorframe, shaking his head with a smirk. "They're birds, Jake, not pets."

Jake shrugged, clearly uninterested in the consequences. He wandered over to the fridge, and, without saying a word, started gathering more toast—this time with a few extra slices.

Charlie watched in disbelief as Jake stacked pieces of bread onto his plate. "Hey, where are you going with all that toast?"

Jake paused mid-reach, looking confused. "My room."

Charlie narrowed his eyes, suspicious. "Your room? Why are you taking toast to your room?"

"Well, you said I couldn't feed the seagulls on the patio," Jake answered innocently.

Charlie stared at him for a beat, then slowly stood up, realization dawning on him. "Wait a minute… Jake, you're not feeding seagulls in your room, are you?"

Before Jake could answer, he bolted down the hallway, his arms full of toast.

"Oh no, no, no…" Charlie muttered, quickly following behind.

Nero, already knowing this was going to be good, set his guitar aside and stood up to follow them down the hallway.

As Charlie approached Jake's room, the distinct flapping of wings and squawking became louder with every step. Charlie shot a glance back at Nero, who was right behind him.

"This better not be what I think it is," Charlie muttered.

Nero crossed his arms, grinning. "I think it's exactly what you think it is."

Without further hesitation, Charlie opened the door, and sure enough, Jake's room was now home to a small flock of seagulls, all perched on his bed, desk, and windowsill, happily munching on the bread Jake had scattered around the room.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Charlie exclaimed, quickly slamming the door shut. "There's a whole flock in there!"

Alan, hearing the commotion, wandered over. "What's going on?"

Charlie turned to him, eyes wide. "Your kid turned his room into a damn aviary. There's a flock of seagulls in there!"

Alan's face paled. "What?!"

Charlie, clearly done with the situation, gestured toward the door. "Go on, check for yourself. I'm not kidding."

Alan cautiously opened the door, his eyes widening in horror at the sight of seagulls scattered throughout Jake's room. "Jake! What—why are there birds in your room?!"

Jake, still sitting on his bed, looked up at his dad, completely unfazed. "I told you, they're hungry."

Alan groaned, his hands moving to his temples. "Jake, you can't just bring wild animals into your room! This isn't… normal!"

Before Alan could continue his lecture, Charlie got an idea. "Hey, Alan, you want to take care of it, right? I've got just the thing." With a quick motion, he nudged Alan into the room and slammed the door shut, locking him inside with the seagulls.

Alan's voice, now muffled behind the door, immediately went into panic mode. "Charlie! Let me out! This isn't funny!"

Nero burst into laughter as Charlie leaned against the door, smug satisfaction on his face. "I don't know, Al. I think you've got it under control in there."

Nero's Observations

Nero, still chuckling, leaned against the wall. "Well, I guess this is one way to deal with the seagulls."

Charlie nodded, arms crossed, not moving from his spot. "Yeah, and if we're lucky, Alan might actually bond with them."

From inside, Alan's voice continued to shout, clearly not enjoying his newfound bird friends. "This isn't a joke, Charlie! Get me out of here!"

Nero glanced at Charlie, his grin widening. "You think we should let him out?"

Charlie smirked, glancing at the door. "Eh, give him a few more minutes. Maybe the seagulls will teach him something about patience."

After a few more minutes of Alan's pleading, Charlie finally relented and opened the door. Alan stumbled out, feathers in his hair and crumbs on his shirt. He glared at Charlie. "You are the worst brother ever."

Charlie just shrugged, smirking. "Hey, I warned you about Jake's seagull problem. You're the one who wanted to handle it."

Alan muttered something under his breath as he headed back into the kitchen, trying to restore some semblance of order. Meanwhile, Charlie checked his watch and turned to Nero. "Alright, kid, I've got a date lined up, so try not to invite any more wild animals into the house while I'm gone."

Nero, picking up his guitar again, shook his head. "Go on, then. I'll be here, serenading the seagulls"

Charlie laughed, heading for the door. "Just don't play anything too emotional, or the birds might never leave."

As Charlie left for his date, Nero sat back on the couch, strumming the intro to "Iris". The soft melody filled the room, creating a rare moment of calm amidst the chaos of the morning. Nero's fingers danced across the strings, and the familiar lyrics echoed softly through the house, cutting through the lingering tension.