Code Vein Fanfic

Regret.

Pain. 

Sadness.

There are emotions that are hard to convey through words when overwhelmed. But when words can't do, hands will.

It's something humans have known before words themselves.

To claw desperately, to strike with rage, and hold with sorrow.

Yakumo knew these actions well from a young age.

However, it wasn't something one needed the experience to do.

Just to be hurt.

Louis demonstrated that.

How he formed a fist in anger.

'I couldn't do the one thing she begged me for'

And it held nothing but self-hatred.

'I turned my back on my sister' 

He struck.

There wasn't a need for powers, he was only a man swinging what little he had left in his hands.

'I hate the man I am.'

He pushed.

'Have I always been like this?'

He fell.

'What the hell did Kevin even see in me?' 

He gritted his teeth in pain.

'Didn't I turn my back on him too?' 

He got up.

'How many more have suffered the same fate because of my selfishness?' 

He fell again.

'I can't look them in the eye.' 

He growled.

'I am the culprit but can't answer their cries.' 

But he got up.

'I want it to stop.'

He fell once more…

 'I… just wish I could stop feeling like this!'

Yet he stood once again.

'... have I ever done enough?'

Despite everything, he fought.

…

….

…..

"Hah…" Louis slumped with his back on the barricade, Yakumo sitting by his side.

Revenants didn't experience exhaustion as humans did, it was mental fatigue at best. But this time he felt a little different.

With bloodied hands holding onto nothing, he gazed at the sky. It was nighttime.

"..."

"..."

For a moment, it was peaceful.

The sky he used to look at with shame remained the same… 

Sinless?

Guilty?

Did that even matter?

"... we really don't matter that much," Yakumo uttered. "The world won't end just because of the decision of one person. That only happens if everyone ignores it."

"..."

"But if you think it's your error, then stop moping and go do something, I'll follow."

Louis gave a tired sigh.

If he was to forsake it all for someone, then he would save it in their memory.

"Wanna wash the blood down with a drink?" His friend offered.

"Yeah…" He stood up and took his coat from the barricade where Yakumo left it.

It remained clean, unlike the duo and their surroundings which were covered in blood.

"Here," Yakumo said while handing him his sword.

Enduring Crimson, its sharp edge reflected his ruby eyes.

"Sorry," He said to the sword, though the sentiment was clearly not just for the sword.

"Just hold it tightly like Alexander wanted you to," Yakumo commented as Louis sheathed back to his waist, his grip around it firm.

"Ready to go back?" Adam spoke, being the first to reach them as the others followed.

""Yeah.""

The group returned to the home base…

…

A drink.

That was what Yakumo suggested.

Turns out that a 'drink' for an ex-mercenary was getting wasted by others' standards.

*Clank!*

"-Oh right," Yakumo slammed his empty cup on the counter as it dawned on him, "didn't I say something about retelling the great glory of the Crimson Sword with the ladies?"

"I'm still… callling bullshit on thhat." Yami slurred as he snatched the half-empty bottle from the slumped hand of a passed-out Oliver and filled his own glass.

"Ugh, fuck me…" Louis cringed over the sudden attention he got from everyone at the bar. He simply slammed his head on the counter and waited for the shame to pass.

"I bet they all wanted to!" Yakumo laughed hysterically before smacking the back of an agonizing Louis.

The group at the bar cheered loudly.

Their numbers were greater than before, there used to be no more than a dozen, but then their numbers almost doubled. And it wasn't due to the recruitment, those were still being arranged.

The seats at the bar were more than filled and some extra tables were set up to accommodate everyone.

The reason was not just Kyle with his men, it was the new guests: Anderson and his companions. 

The prisoners that escaped with me.

They arrived to help as he had an architect and engineer in his group and in exchange they could join the base with some perks.

With the new aid, the buildings around the cathedral could be fixed for more accommodations. We could also set up new facilities once recruitment at the government shelters starts.

Anyway, our new expedition team was interested more than anyone else as the man seen as a murdering psycho was not what they made him out to be.

"You know, I always thought he was bigger." 

 "That's what she said- Oh wait!"

"Right? Like, even his sword, a toothpick compared to the rumors. Like, way too small."

 "..."

Some questions about the Crimson Sword popped up from the new slave- Workers, the new workers.

Yes, our new teammates- the recruits- the staff- our companions- and many other synonyms that wouldn't imply working them to the bone.

"Man, everyone sure is getting wasted." I looked at the gang as they were holding up pretty well except Oliver who was out of commission right off the start.

I picked up the big oaf and put him on the couch nearby before returning to my seat at the counter. "How long until he wakes up?"

One would guess that Oliver has some good tolerance to alcohol due to his big frame, but then again, alcohol isn't what is affecting them here.

"Some poisons can be used for medicine and improve overall health, you don't have to be worried. He is just in deep sleep, he will be up tomorrow morning." Coco said from the other side of the counter as she gave Rin her drink.

I chuckled. "I know. But this isn't exactly for medical use, it is more of a narcotic at this point."

The instances of substances meant to harm being utilized for the entertainment of people wasn't rare. Hell, even the animal kingdom had cases like these, it wasn't exclusively a human behavior. Some dolphins poke pufferfish to get high from the toxins the fish release under stress. 

"It's medicine if it heals my soul!" Rin countered as she downed a shot…

As far as I know, the girl was a teenager when she was revived to fight in the war that happened 20 years ago. So she should be easily past her 20's… 

Yet, even after knowing all that. It felt uncomfortable to see someone so childlike drink.

It's even worse realizing that his kid is actually older than me…

This situation is just plain bizarre.

And, speaking of bizarre, Io, out of all people, has a glass of alcohol in her hand.

"You like it?"

The girl, apparently in a sort of trance, perked up at my question.

Her silver brows wrinkled slightly.

"The taste is peculiar and the smell is familiar…" She kept holding the drink near her lips but never took another sip.

"I made sure that the taste remains the same, I have some that make you 'drunk' faster if it isn't the taste that you are after." Coco offered.

"Thanks no thanks. Not really into alcohol or in what it offers." I waved off.

Damn, that old coot really did somehow drive me away from most vices.

One way or another, I never ended up drinking much when it came down to it… due to sports and also becoming a reliable designated driver.

I don't know if I was lucky or if they were simply terrible, but almost everyone I knew had crashes and fines in their records.

But generally, I already had a reason way before I was legally allowed to drink it, it was because-

"I guess you really processed your game a lot then." Coco hit the mark right on as she bent over to pick up something from the bottom row of the wine peg.

Dayum- I mean, damn…

This woman was too good at catching small details!

"Kf-hahaha" I heard Rin let out a hoarse chuckle, the shot still burning her throat.

That girl as well.

These shades are useless around them.

Oh well, out with it.

"Being around blood and guts whose smell is only masked by alcohol as early as I can remember will do that to you, especially if you are told it tastes like it smells." That damn old man always asked if I wanted to try it, but the smell of it always reminded me of when we had to store the organs and meat in the freezer.

Add on that I was to become an athlete. No drinks and much less anything related to drugs. He was beyond strict. Rather ironic coming from him but 'dO aS i SaY NOt AS I dO.'

Can't argue with that. 

But I won't be saying anymore since my past and the one from the old protagonist clashing can spell unnecessary trouble.

"Some doctors and nurses have the same issue, try this then." She poured wine in a glass.

"Huh." I saw my reflection in the drink. It's not like I've tried alternatives out of curiosity about what people are so fixated on, but the wine didn't really affect my taste buds like I suspected… though this isn't exactly wine.

After being soaked in a red lake of gore back in the trenches, I never thought that seeing this red liquid would be pleasant.

Beautiful, even.

"Ah." The smell of the wine hit me like a truck the moment I brought it close to my lips.

It was weird, it was sudden but not overwhelming. 

I didn't need to be an expert to tell that this was top-notch.

It had a faint flowery aroma that invaded my nose the moment I felt the warm liquid fill my taste buds.

….

"Ugh!" A small young Adam in camo clothing struggled with his every step due to the titled ground of the mountain.

His breath grew heavier the higher he climbed and branches cracked under his steps.

The supplies in his backpack did not make his task any easier.

"Took your sweet time." An old man looked at the imaginary watch on his wrist, waiting for the kid to catch up to him a few yards away.

"Wasn't the 'real' training," Adam took a deep breath, "supposed to start next month?"

The old man didn't answer and simply walked through the thicket.

He moved some foliage before reaching the plateau of the mountain.

A field of flowers… too many.

Something that shouldn't be there. Most of them can't even survive in this environment.

Yet, here they were.

White, violet, red, pink, orange, and many other colorful flowers made their home at the top where their beauty remained unappreciated until now.

The young kid who couldn't take a step without panting now stood there as if he had forgotten how to breathe.

It was hard to believe that they could all bloom in late Fall.

The old man had already taken his seat on top of a collapsed trunk right next to a tree stump with growing fungi.

Adam made his way to the trunk and sat down a few moments later.

It was calm.

As if the scenery was caught in a perpetual state.

A timeless picture. Only, it wasn't. It was bound to disappear at one point like any other fleeting moment.

"... so this isn't part of the training."

His grandad didn't turn to him. He kept staring at the flowers that shone from the sunlight and the remaining moisture of the morning mist. The weather was mostly warm and peaceful despite being so high up.

"Fall is next month…"

"Yes?"

"You will begin next month," his tone suddenly grew heavier, "but you are here now."

….

Here now…

Heh, but now? 

No, there is nothing…

The exotic red currents that kicked the hell out of my taste buds and nostrils were interrupted by the emptiness meeting me at the bottom of the glass.

"Huh…" I felt my throat slightly numb, even if the wine wasn't bitter.

I looked at the merchant.

Her dull grey eyes examined my expression which, gotta be honest, I didn't know what it looked like at the moment but... 

"Well, I will be damned." I was surprised that I struggled to say those words.

"We all are." She said with a tone and smile I hadn't seen before and returned to her bartending with the others, leaving the wine bottle with me.

That woman has been busy ever since I met her.

I've only gotten to see her a few times after I got here and I'm partly at fault.

Coco is a merchant.

Different from the in-game Coco who works as your little item shop, she has to travel and might not be at the base every time.

I doubt that anyone has the balls to come to the base of the Crimson Sword unless they know Louis and not the named revenant.

I guess this is also her safe space from bothersome schmucks who think they can get some free items.

"Do you like the flavor?" Io asked me as she saw me fill the glass again.

I had told myself to reminisce about my past memories but I already messed up, so might as well go all in this time.

"Taste? Hm… no, It's not about taste. More about what it reminds me of." Besides, this might not be so bad, I can use this as a cap to not remember anything further than that time.

I really didn't like what the sudden but clear recollections of core memories implied in my current situation.

"What about you?" I saw that Io kept holding onto the glass of alcohol. "Does that remind you of anything?"

"Nothing has come back yet." She shook her head.

"The city is only so big, we are bound to find a clue in our expeditions." 

"..." her silence showed hesitation, but it didn't last long. "Alright."

I knew she would say to not bother if I made it a proposal, not wanting to be a burden to her successor and whatnot.

I filled another glass with the wine and gave it to Io.

The girl grabbed it and didn't think twice as she took a sip.

"Hmm…" She bit her rosy lips and savored the flavor before taking another sip.

… That fast?

I let Io enjoy her drink as I continued to drink my own, sensing someone approaching.

Io and I were separated from the group, as for Rin… she was here at the end of the bar just cuz'.

After finishing my second glass, a certain someone who sat by my side finally spoke.

"Thank you." A gruff voice resounded.

It belonged to a rather short man with violet messy hair resembling a mohawk and piercing dark eyes.

A gaze similar to Yakumo's but much more stern. 

Kyle Alick.

He didn't need to say what he was thankful for.

"They wouldn't have done anything drastic back then, trust me on that." I was sure that Louis would've given Kyle some blood beads anyway.

I'm sure it would have gone similarly to the in-game scenario given what I've seen from the real Louis and Yakumo.

"I can see that," Kyle glanced at his group attentively hearing the tale of girls wanting the Crimson Sword along with the others, "but it was you who wanted to give us a chance."

"Huh, you're welcome." I took a sip of my glass, hearing the men cheering for Louis' exploits as the latter wanted to bury himself in a hole.

"Though, you should focus more on an apology to someone else than appreciation," I said.

"So she is fine… heh, like there is anything that can even be forgiven." The man gave me a repressed sigh.

"Anything is better than not even trying." I shrugged.

I understood Kyle's motives, but the same couldn't be said for Luna. If I had to save my people at the expense of others… Well, to me, it was obvious who was at priority.

"Fair enough." He took a shot and sighed with a hoarse throat.

"..."

There was a short silence…

""I am in misery~ There ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh-yeah~""

(≧ᗜ ≦)/ 〵(^ o ^)〴 ♪〲(^o^)〴♩╰( ⚆ᗨ⚆)╮╰( ⊙ᗨ⊙)╮ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪ 

Well, as silent as a bar full of men singing along to Misery could be. The jukebox was at full blast.

"... say..." I proceeded to change the topic with the same smoothness of sandpaper.

I couldn't think of a way to bring it up now which was the reason I was separated from the group. Either I came up with an idea to approach the topic or he approached first.

And I am delightfully surprised, I got lucky this time.

"Yeah?" Kyle didn't seem to mind at all.

"Have we met before? I do feel like I've seen you or someone similar in the past?"

"Hmm… can't tell I've seen you…" Kyle put down his drink and examined me, "have you always used shades and tinted glass in your gasmask?"

"No. You see, I'm in quite a predicament. I lost my memories and, apparently, my appearance also seems to have changed quite a bit." I pointed at the shades hiding my eyes.

"You seem rather nor-" 

Lifting my shades ever so slightly was good enough for him to understand.

Despite these eyes being the ones staring at me back in the mirror, I still find them rather uncomfortable.

"... I get it…" Kyle filled his glass with alcohol again and dawned the shot.

"...ugh." He recoiled before seemingly tensing up and shaking his head and shoulders as if wanting to get rid of whatever feeling he was struck by the moment he met my eyes.

"Oh well, you have to hope that your blood code is recognizable-"

"I'm a Void type…"

Kyle gave me a blank stare.

"...what about your actual name?"

"Didn't I tell you? Adam Howard."

"... I…uh… hahaha, where did you hear that? Are you sure it's yours?" The man gave me a weird look.

"I confirmed my name recently from a Cerberus official…"

"You don't know?- they didn't even tell you??" He put down his glass and fully turned towards me.

"There was nothing else in my file since everything is pretty much lost somewhere," I added.

Kyle hummed as his gaze grew sharper by the second as if analyzing every possibility. "Not many knew the actual name, funny enough… however, as for the nickname..."

There was something I was curious about. Given that the past protagonist had an important role in the Queenslayer Operation, I wondered why there weren't any posers.

If no schmucks were calling themselves Adam Howard, the man who took down the Queen. It meant that my name wasn't known… which made me more curious.

There might not be that many named revenants alive, at least confirmed to still be around, but even before that no revenant was posing as the Queensalyer, I already asked Louis to let me take a look at the list with the excuse that I may recognize some of them and lead me to remember something of my past.

So I wondered about how exactly the protagonist was called by others.

The man sighed and pointed his finger right at me, "Wonderboy-"

"-Bullshit."

Huh…

Wut???

My mouth responded without a thought going through my head!?

Why did I automatically respond to that???

A certain feeling welled up within me…

Almost like the familiarity that I felt once I picked up a sword in this world.

The sense of comprehension that only comes from experience, one that I didn't have any recollection of…

Only, this one was not so pleasant!!!

SH!T JUST PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF!

FUCK!

THAT JUST-

…Seriously.

'Wonderboy'?

"... no." I denied.

I refused to believe it.

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head.

The one to put an end to the Queen was just…

"That is a lame ass name!!!"

Kyle's eyes widened and Rin coughed out her drink at my outburst.

"Oh… I think it really is you…" He sounded like he couldn't believe it…

And I don't fucking want to as well!

"This is bullshit!" I stood up as everyone was now looking at me.

I pointed at Louis, who the group of singers was parading around, "he gets an edgy name like 'Crimson Sword' and I get- I get- this- fu- 'Wonderboy'?!"

"No way!" Rin jumped on top of the booth and ran at me.

"Don't run on the counter!" Coco.

"Th-" I didn't even get a word out before I had her hands all over my face, "yo-get off!"

I straightened my shades and saw Io holding Rin by her sides like a child, her feet didn't even reach the ground.

Not like it mattered to Rin how she was being handled as her jaw was wide open.

"It is you- fhaahdhash." She entered a fit of laughter, holding her belly and kicking her feet.

I turned around and saw my reflection on the nearest glass bottle and my normally slicked-back hairstyle, one attained by nothing but doing the bare minimum of patting, replaced with a mess… 

A weirdly messy yet recognizable hair…

Anime protagonist hair…

'This is all it fucking took to get recognized?!'

I turned around and saw very few of the expedition group surprised as the others, like Louis and Yakumo, appeared confused.

"I-it's wonderboy-" Someone cheered.

"Don't call me that!" I shot him down.

"Isn't he the one that got the Queen?!"

But they kept talking.

"Yeah… but, wasn't he bigger?"

 "That's what she said- ah, sh!t!"

"Yeah, he is supposed to be taller than Gregorio!"

"Didn't he use a sword the size of a car?"

"I heard he fought only in underwear!"

"Ugh!!!" I got a headache from hearing the supposed 'descriptions' of my days in the Queenslayer Operation.

Turns out 'Wonderboy' was my-

-Fucking 'Wonderboy', seriously…

It turns out it was a stupid moniker given to me in the Queenslayer op, against my will most surely.

'Queenslayer' as a title was much more fitting but I guess some asshat called me 'wonderboy' and it stuck with people.

At least I know that my role in the war against the Queen 20 years ago remains the same.

I was the one who brought down the Queen. Well, not exactly 'I' because of the whole transmigration thing.

Now all that is left is to confirm how my relationship with Jack was back during the operation and see if I can avoid being killed on the spot by him. 

Originally, he was the man who commanded a special team of revenants to take down the Queen, and one day the protagonist was assigned to his team and they took down the Queen along with the aid of Gregorio Silva, the leader of Cerberus which is the provisional government formed to maintain order in the ruined city.

From the details I could gather from Kyle and the others, it wasn't like in the game where the protagonist got lucky in the first encounter and finishes the Queen with the help of Jack and Gregorio.

According to them, I had plenty of clashes against the Queen before a team was properly created to put down the Queen.

Most surely the team that Jack was the leader of.

Filtering out the 'fighting in underwear' and other stupid comments related to 'Wonderboy,' I discovered a few things.

They were questionable as the stupid rumors, but a lot more interesting… They also didn't piss me off.

I have never died after I came back as a revenant. Now, this one might be a lie to raise morale.

Another one was that before being assigned to the special team, I had single-handedly repelled the Queen before catching the eye of Silva.

Yeah… somehow I had done that a few times without help… yeah, I didn't believe that either.

And lastly, my weapon and physique were bigger… it was hard to get an image of that as they are surely exaggerating.

Though, I wonder if I had a special weapon back then. 

As for my frame being smaller than before… Maybe I lost that in the 20 years it took me to wake up. I was faring well if we were talking about builds. I don't have the skinny limbs like before, revenants can bulk up quickly if they have the blood beads and equipment at their disposal.

Honestly… would I have been recognized if I didn't do the bare minimum in fixing my hair and was an 8-foot tall muscle man?

I couldn't help sighing. 

There wasn't any need to focus on looks. Even if I were to make my appearance similar to the original Adam, I doubt it could fool Jack doing superficial imitations.

Ugh…

I wasn't just trying to figure out how to act to someone who apparently knew the past 'me' so I wouldn't get a blade driven through my chest.

All I could get from the people here was that I was a 'good dude' and that was about it.

They didn't know that past me personally as they only heard of me.

I also had to deal with the fact that Juzo Mido wasn't just some run-of-the-mill mad scientist. That would've been so much better.

As it turns out, he was onto some Dr. Doom sh1t, dude definitely had his own militia off the books, research divisions, branching companies, and was most surely about to become the governor of some other place in the world… how else could he have that much pull in the political world if he didn't have that kind of future?

The man was making deals with governments of different countries and companies from which he benefited more than the other party!

Yeah, why don't you give that dude an immortal parasite that gives bullsh!t powers to its host and let him study it for the whole 20 years before I wake up?!

My situation becomes more dire…

'Seems like we will have to work out something, huh?'

{...}

The silver lining was that the thing in my chest wasn't some run-of-the-mill BOR parasite.

I just need it to assist me.

Though, as things are going, I might have to make it cooperate.

Still…

"... there is plenty to do." I groaned.

"...we are mostly done," Io said by my side, looking at the soon-to-be victims laying all over the home base.

"Sorry, speaking out loud." I shook my head and finished writing on the forehead of the orange-haired girl passed out on the counter.

'Wonder girl, you have to wonder what her age is.'

And to think that there is still some space left to write…

Kek!

"...what are you doing?" Coco finally spoke after inspecting many of my victims.

Though she asked, her eyes said that she knew very well what we were doing.

Nonetheless, the lady asked and I must answer.

"Partaking in some tomfoolery," I put my marker back in the box that Io had found for me.

"Sharingan." Io.

Huh???

"You mean 'shenanigans'?" I asked.

"That." She nodded.

I will have to see what she reads when I take my eyes off her.

She moves on from book to book surprisingly fast.

I assume Io absorbs information like a sponge given how much of her vestiges she has lost or something similar.

Coco pursed her lips, but a smile was quickly exposed, "Don't you want to try my new markers?" 

____________________________________________________________________________

Word Count: 4616

What is the best/worst thing someone, or even you, has drawn on someone's face during a sleepover?