Dead and Horny

Things Get Hairy



Dana sat at the breakfast table with a map of Florida laid out in front of her like a place mat. She stared at it intently, memorizing as many roads and street names as she could. True, her phone would do a much better job at navigating, but it wasn’t like she had anything better to do.

“Death wants to know if you would like a topological one as well.” Mike sat across from her with a stack of waffles drowned in peanut butter, butter, and syrup. It was the sort of fare that would give someone a heart attack, but based on the magic flowing through his veins and his semi-athletic build, it was likely his cholesterol levels were fine. She looked up at him, realizing she had been so focused on the map that she hadn’t noticed Death speaking to her. The Grim Reaper sat to Mike’s left while Tink sat on his right, snacking on a small pile of bacon.

“Nah, I’m not that—” She had been about to say bored, but remembered at the last moment that Death had been nice enough to bring her some of his cherished maps to begin with. “Uh...sure that I’ll need them. But tell him thank you.”

“She says no thanks, this should be enough.” Mike was looking at the seat next to him where Death sipped his tea. The Grim Reaper had moved in last year, but due to Dana’s unique undead condition, he was unable to see or hear her. Only people who had been near death in some form could see him, and Dana had that experience in spades.

“So you and Lily are heading out today?” Mike cut a piece of waffle and tried to stab it with his fork, but Tink was faster than he was and stole it. She gobbled up the piece and stuck her tongue out at him. “Can I interest you in a goblin helper?”

“Tink no helper. Tink in charge.” She winked at Dana, then stole an entire waffle off the top of Mike’s stack and crammed it into her mouth as Mike protested. The two of them began poking each other as Lily walked into the room wearing a sunhat and dark sunglasses.

“Spring break!” she declared, then tossed a beer to Mike. “I am off to the beach to knock up some co-eds and punch a dude named Chad in the face!”

“Please don’t do either of those things.” Mike frowned at the beer. “Where the hell did you get a PBR? I would never buy this.”

“From Hell. We make people drink it down there.” She pulled a six pack out of her cleavage, much like a stage magician, then ripped one off and tossed it to Tink. “Many people choose the lake of fire as an alternative, but I bet you’ll like it.”

“Tink, don’t!” Mike couldn’t stop Tink from biting into the can and tilting her head back to chug it. Lily cheered the goblin on as Tink tried to drink the contents down in one go.

“Blegh.” Tink wiped her mouth and crushed the can on her forehead. “Taste like dirty asshole.”

“Then why did you drink it?” Mike asked.

“Tink never poops at party.” With that comment, Tink stole another waffle off of Mike’s plate and bolted, leaving the crushed can behind. Mike grumbled about troublesome goblins under his breath while finishing his remaining waffle.

“So did you get what we need from Ratu?” Lily sat next to Dana and leaned back in her chair. “What sort of fancy gadget did you obtain for our trip?”

Dana pulled a chain with a small pointed weight on the end out of her pocket and set it on the table. “It’s a pendulum,” she said.

“No shit.” Lily poked it with her finger. “Seriously, this was the best she could do?”

“Apparently she wanted to use a compass, but something about the Bermuda Triangle nearby makes it a bad idea. But look, it’s calibrated so that it doesn’t work on you, which was tricky.” Dana picked up the pendulum and held it by Lily. “See? No reaction.”

“Or it doesn’t work.” Lily snatched it from Dana and swung it back and forth over the table. “Ooh, look at me, I’m a fortune—”

The pendulum stopped in midswing, its tear-drop weight pointed near the city of Daytona.

Everyone stared at the pendulum until Lily let go of it. Dana half expected it to fly toward the spot it had pointed out, but it fell onto the table with a clatter.

“Didn’t expect that.” Lily scratched the back of her head and took off her hat. “Seriously, through a map?”

“Maps.” Death leaned back in his chair, bowing his head thoughtfully. “Is there anything they can’t do?”

“Can you ask Death if I can borrow this?” Dana put her hand on the map. Mike turned to Death and repeated the question.

“You may,” Death answered, looking slightly to the right of Dana. “But I demand a heavy price in return.”

“Wait for it,” Lily whispered.

“I require a souvenir from Florida,” Death continued. “Something with seashells, or maybe even a funny t-shirt. I have also learned of a thing called a Boogie Board, and am immensely interested.”

“Deal.” Dana folded up the map and tucked it into her backpack. The mimic Tick Tock usually acted as her luggage for stuff like this, but since he was carrying a magical tome capable of blowing holes in things, she had decided to leave him here. “So I guess we just need to go see if that portal is ready.”

Lily rolled her eyes and stood. “You can keep the rest of these, Romeo.” She shoved the remaining beers across the table. “I don’t want them.”

“Perhaps I should try one.” Death reached for the remaining string of beers.

“Seriously, where did you get them?” Mike asked, then turned to Death. “Those are way different than tea. I don’t think you’ll like them.”

As curious as Dana was to learn how Death felt about mass brewed lagers, she was eager to get started. She was in the living room when she heard Death shout, “Why would anyone punish their own mouth like that?”

Lily and Dana met Eulalie in the Library, where she once again took them through a series of portals that would eventually lead them to an AirBNB condo she had rented about a mile from the event center. It was chic with a view of the ocean, and Lily proclaimed it passable before wandering out onto the balcony. After putting some semen in the fridge, Dana set her backpack down on the couch and took a quick circuit of the condo.

“So I know it might be last moment, but there aren’t any hidden cameras here, are there?” She had read about AirBNB owners who hid stuff like that in their rentals in the hopes of catching something sexy to watch later.

“Nah, this place is clean.” Eulalie stared out the window, one hand on the glass. “Had the rats do a sweep first, then did my own. I can see outside of your visible light spectrum, which makes stuff like that a bit harder to hide. I also have a sixth sense for low amperage electrical circuits. Makes the backs of my legs itch.”

“First time seeing the ocean?” Dana joined the Arachne at the window.

“No, actually.” She frowned, then moved away from the glass. “When I was a kid, Uncle Foot took the two of us to go see it. Took a lot of convincing on our part, but my dad came with and the four of us had a proper adventure. Just a man, his best buddy Bigfoot, and his two monster babies trying to do a beach trip.”

Dana smiled, suddenly reminiscent of her own beach trip with Alex once upon a time. “Yeah, those adventures can be the best.”

“There were a couple of close calls, but we eventually made it to the beach. It was at night, so everyone but Dad could see just fine. Water was fucking cold, though. Didn’t like all the salt either, kind of stung. Still…” A small smile tugged at the corner of the Arachne’s mouth. “It’s a good memory. I wish I had a brain like yours. That’s probably one I would want to watch again and again. Velvet and I made a sand castle together while Bigfoot stamped out a moat around it.”

“What did your dad do?”

“Hung out on the ridge with his rifle. Promised to scare the shit out of anyone who tried to come down the trail to the beach.”

Dana looked back out the window. “Thought you said he couldn’t see at night.”

“He couldn’t. Don’t even bother asking, I always figured it was his military training. Some people have eyes in the back of their head. My father? Eyes in the rocks and trees, apparently, it was so hard to get away with anything. Though we did sneak off to check out a summer camp with boys one year. Was pretty harmless, but Velvet was obsessed. Me?” She shrugged. “I was far more interested in the gameboy some kid snuck in. Was all I wanted for my birthday the next year, along with some Final Fantasy game.”

Lily walked back into the living room wearing a bathing suit and a pair of strappy sandals that were laced all the way up to her knees. “I’m headed down to the beach,” she declared, forming a beach bag out of her demonic essence. “Gonna read a book and stare at tits, just as nature intended.”

“You’re not gonna help me scope the area out?” Dana asked.

“Nope.” Lily pulled her shades down low and looked over the lenses. “We’re doing that shit tomorrow, and I can always look around tonight. I plan on scamming dudes out of their beer, maybe sucking a little soul, then burying my feet in the sand, and just enjoying the waves.”

Dana sighed. “You want company?”

“As a matter of fact…I don’t.” Lily strolled toward the front door, checked to make sure Eulalie wouldn’t be visible, then left.

“What crawled up her ass?” Eulalie asked.

“Don’t know. She’s complicated.” Dana flopped down on the couch. “You headed back now?”

Eulalie nodded. “I risk too much just by being here. I must admit, I’m a little jealous how easy you two have it. In regards to travel, anyway. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to go to a park or walk down the street without instilling terror. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was go inside a Radio Shack.”

“Yeah, we take a bunch for granted.” Even though she had a desire to slaughter and consume every person she met, Dana was still capable of being out and about. “Text us if you need anything.”

“The same applies to you.” Eulalie moved to the hallway closet where they had emerged. The portal had been chewed into the back wall, and a red metal bar at the top could be seen on the other side. “Remember, pull the bar for emergencies.”

“Emergency portal closure, got it.” Dana gave Eulalie a thumbs up. “I’ll check in later.”

“Do that. And Dana? Thanks.” Eulalie backed through the portal and pulled the closet door shut behind her. This left Dana alone in the condo with her thoughts.

“Might as well get shit done,” she muttered, pulling a change of clothes out of her bag. Twenty minutes later, she was in shorts and a halter top, walking across town toward the convention center. She had her phone in one pocket and the pendulum in the other with her collapsible sword on the back of her belt hidden beneath her backpack. It was hot out, and the tourists smelled of coconut oil and hot dogs.

On her way to the convention center, Dana stopped at a couple of tourist shops to try and find something for Death. Eventually, she settled on a boogie board with a picture of a skull on it that she thought he’d like. Paying in cash, she walked back outside and gazed up at the sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight.

The convention center was a bus ride away. She learned pretty fast that the boogie board was a bad idea. Not only did it take up too much space, but people were staring at her.

When she got off the bus, she was annoyed to see that the area was already being blocked off. The side of the building had a multi-story image of a man in a blue suit with a white button down underneath. Graying hair along his temples matched streaks in his goatee, and he was hugging a copy of his newest novel, My Word and His. Sun-touched clouds hovered behind him as if the man already had a foot in Heaven.

Deacon Osgrove was all smiles in his promotional picture. Dana had watched a few videos of his stuff and didn’t know what to think. His sermons seemed genuine, and his reputation was surprisingly stellar. However, the giant mansion, multi-million dollar congregation, and the fact he had his own giant jet spoke otherwise. This was a man who put on a mask for others, that was for sure.

Circling the convention center, she was surprised to find a small gathering in the park across from it. The group was largely made up of older people, and they had formed a circle. With nothing better to do, she wandered over to see what was going on. The group had their heads bowed as if in prayer, and a figure wearing dark glasses and a baseball hat stood in the middle of them. He had his hands on the shoulders of a young woman with tear-streaked cheeks.

“And Lord, please bless your servant Maryanne so that she can find peace in the days ahead. Losing a parent is always hard, no matter if it is part of your divine plan.” The man raised his face, and Dana immediately recognized the goatee. It was Deacon Osgrove in street clothes, his features solemn. “Help her to remember that they shall be reunited in your kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven. Know that our thoughts and prayers go with her, in the name of Jesus Christ.”

“Amen,” everyone said together, and then Deacon embraced the girl. Dana couldn’t help but notice a larger man standing nearby holding a phone at chest level. The man wore a tight black shirt that revealed a neck so muscular that it looked like it was trying to swallow his head.

The small crowd clapped, but Deacon waved them down. “I am just a humble servant,” he told them, but Dana wasn’t paying attention anymore. She pulled the pendulum out of her pocket and held it out. If it had snapped to attention in Deacon’s direction, she wouldn’t be the least surprised.

However, it did not. The pendulum did nothing but hang.

“Damn. That would have been too easy.” Dana crammed the pendulum in her pocket and watched the crowd for a couple more minutes. It was clear they were trying to avoid a full spectacle, but she also noticed a couple of videographers making rounds through the crowd and interviewing people. This was clearly a staged event, and Deacon was playing for his online crowd while connecting with a few of the locals.

The convention center was locked up tight, but Dana knew how to get around that. There was an office building nearby that was undergoing a remodel, so she snuck along the exterior and moved down the side of the building until she saw the fire escape. Making sure that nobody was watching, she ran up the wall and jumped and grabbed onto the railing with one hand. She tossed the boogie board up and then easily pulled herself up and over the railing.

“This is why people buy souvenirs at the end,” she muttered to herself.

The security door at the top was locked, but it took her less than thirty seconds to get in with a shim from her bag. It was yet another thing she had picked up watching instructional videos in the middle of the night, along with lockpicking and cooking the perfect omelet. She opened up the door to reveal a mostly empty office space with massive tarps draped over some of the unmovable fixtures, like a reception desk built into the wall. The windows were being replaced, which meant scaffolding had been set up just outside.

Dana sniffed the air, relieved that she wasn’t picking up any scents. It was a Saturday, and from below, it didn’t seem like anyone was working, but there was no way to know for sure. Grateful that she was sufficiently hidden, she found herself an office away from the stairwell and opened up her backpack.

The small racing drone she pulled out was a thing of beauty. Tink had assisted her with the design, which meant it was not only fast, but perfectly balanced. Dana spent ten minutes inspecting the equipment before pulling out the accompanying headset. Using the remote, she launched the drone out the window and let it hover as she slid the accompanying headset over her eyes. The camera in the drone sent a video feed right to her eyes, giving her the visual sensation of flight.

“Let’s see what you look like on the inside,” she muttered, then knelt down as she flew the drone over to the event center. On her knees, it would be easier to focus on the drone and not worry about wandering around the office.

She circled the event center a few times before spotting a loading bay that was open. Grinning, she flew the high-speed drone through the doors and was delighted to see that she was backstage. The building seemed empty, but she knew there wouldn’t be much time before someone heard the high-pitched buzz of the rotors. She needed a map of the inside, and fast. Between her photographic memory and her piloting skills, it was going to be easy.

---

The Expedition had to circle the block a few times before finding a parking space. Lynn smiled over at Tasia, who had fallen asleep again.

“I’m starting to think you’re part cat,” she said with a grin.

“I’m part something.” Tasia groaned when she opened the door and bright light flooded the interior. “Damn, where are my sunglasses?”

“Here.” Lynn opened the glove box and pulled out a pair. “I always keep a spare set.”

“Thanks.” Tasia put the sunglasses on and sighed. “So where are we?”

“Local research and development. We can’t tell you how many weird things come out of the Triangle. All these guys do is either study it or clean it up. There was an actual ghost ship out here last year, freaked out some of the higher ups.”

“Why would it freak them out?” Tasia closed the car door and moved to the curb. They were outside a real estate office with pictures of available properties plastered on the front. Rumor had it that some of the field teams who set up places like these would actually close a couple of deals a year to maintain appearances. 

“When I say ghost ship, what do you think? Ship full of ghosts or a ship with nobody on it?”

Tasia shrugged. “Guess it could be either.”

“Or neither. The ship itself was a ghost, a phantom. They weren’t sure what happened, but it was some sort of inter-dimensional affair. They even called in a guy who specializes in those. Turns out the ship was literally in two places at the same time. A knight lost his damned hand when he tried to board the thing.” Lynn walked to the door of the office and knocked on the glass. A woman with blonde curls wearing a dress suit came out of the back room and let them inside.

“Good afternoon. My name is Renee.” She shook Lynn’s hand and then stared at Tasia. “And I’ll say, you have no idea how excited I am to meet you.”

Tasia raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

“You’re actually a bit of a minor celebrity ever since we heard you would be in the area. Please.” She led them through the waiting room and past some offices that were away from the street. “Ever since we heard that Project Alpha—”

“That was the old name,” Lynn said.

“Right, sorry. The old project is spoken of in hushed tones. It’s pretty much legendary in my circles anyway.” Renee walked through an illusory wall at the end of the hallway. When Tasia stepped through, she saw what looked like a library on the other side. Benches were stacked high with alchemy labs, and the room smelled of burnt hair and incense. “Here are my cohorts, Magnus, Abdul, and Dave.”

The three men in the room stood to greet them. Magnus and Abdul were dressed as knights, but Dave had on a sports coat and a button-down shirt. He was the other half of Sunchaser Realty, and it was clear by his tan that he spent most of his time outside.

“Welcome.” The way Dave shook Tasia’s hand made her feel like he was going to sell her something. “Can I get you tea, coffee, cookies?”

“I wouldn’t mind some tea.” Lynn looked at Tasia.

“Tea for me as well, please.”

They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes until Dave returned with tea and cookies. When he leaned over to set them on the table, a blue crystal on a silver chain tumbled free of his collar. He tucked it away as they gathered around the refreshments. Magnus and Abdul were staring at Tasia, but it was curiosity in their eyes rather than suspicion.

“So before we begin,” Dave pulled out a digital tablet and looked something up. “It looks like your clearance has been reinstated per Master Lynn, so I would like you to watch some video footage that is for your eyes only.”

“Sure.” Tasia took the tablet from him and perused the videos. Most of what she saw was just fog with audio attached, and the strange speech patterns of the Oracle were garbled. She knew it wasn’t a filter that had been applied. It happened sometimes when they tried to record the creature.

The Oracle was speaking to a woman, that much she was sure of, but it was during a moment of clean audio that her voice finally came through. Tasia tapped the progress bar so she could hear it again.

“So can you fix Lily and tell me where I can find the demon who—” The words became jumbled again, but Tasia was suddenly back on the pool deck at the Black Palace, no longer in control of her body. She growled, the sound very much like distant thunder. The tablet screen cracked in her hands and she stood, dropping the broken device on the floor.

To their credit, Magnus and Abdul didn’t draw their weapons. Dave scooted away from her while Renee leaned forward, sudden interest in her eyes. 

“I take it the voice rings a bell?” Unperturbed, Lynn sipped her tea.

“That’s them,” Tasia whispered, forcing her anger down. Her hands were clenched, but she didn’t know what to do with them. Phantom pain bloomed between her ribs, and she rubbed at her sternum absent-mindedly. “Both of them. Lily was the succubus, and I don’t know about the other, but that’s her voice.”

“You okay?” Lynn set down her tea. “Tasia?”

“My apologies, Master Lynn, I…would like to get some air.”

“Of course.” Lynn turned to Renee and Dave. “As a reminder, this was the incident that precipitated her inclusion in the program, so her feelings are rather strong right now.”

“Please, by all means. We actually have a lead on the lounge case that we can discuss and you don’t need to be here for it.” Renee moved nearby and put a comforting hand on Tasia’s. “There’s a lovely park just south of here a few blocks. I like to go there when I need to clear my head.”

“Thanks.” Tasia walked out of the room and through the illusory wall. The hallway felt small and her chest tight. There wasn’t enough air in the building, and she needed to get out!

She stormed through the front door, pausing just long enough to make sure it locked behind her. Tears had formed in the corners of her eyes, blurring her vision so much that she nearly walked into a large man coming down the sidewalk.

“Excuse me,” she said, and he tipped his hat at her in response. It wasn’t until she was at least a couple of blocks away that she dared to look up, to see that the sky above her was far away and that the walls were not, in fact, closing in.

She wasn’t certain if the panic attacks were a result of her experience at the Black Palace or the experiments. Her memory was such a blur during that period that it was hard to say, but she did know that they made her a liability. It had been difficult to hide them, but Tasia knew the right things to say and when to say them.

By the time she spotted the park, she was disappointed to see that a small crowd had formed. A man with his back to her was chatting with a bunch of older men and women and he was surrounded by incognito bodyguards. She got a really bad vibe off of them so decided to maintain her distance. Finding a nearby bench, she watched them for a bit before tilting her head back and falling into a funk.

This wasn’t the power she had craved. She desired control over her actions, to never have someone inside her head ever again. Even though they were over a thousand miles away, the succubus and the witch had still gotten to her.

A woman walked past with a small dog that paused to bark at Tasia. She fought the urge to growl back at the mangy beast, knowing it would only cause further problems. She kept her eyes on the cloudless sky as the woman dragged her dog away. 

Despite her current sensation of free falling, Tasia couldn’t help but be grateful for Master Lynn. The old knight wasn’t bothered by Tasia in the least and seemed to have some idea of what she was going through. After the meeting with the researchers was over, Tasia wanted to bring up her issues in the hopes that Lynn would have an answer. Knights who actually made it to old age didn’t get there without learning how to handle some tough issues.

It was a beautiful day. People were chatting, the park smelled like flowers, and the world was so alive. Renee had been right—this park had made Tasia feel better.

A high-pitched whine assailed her ears. Wincing, Tasia looked around for the source of the sound, but was unable to see it. The people in the park seemed unaware of it, but it was like somebody was driving broken glass into Tasia’s ear drums.

Scowling, she stuck her fingers in her ears and was about to leave when she noticed a tiny black speck shooting across the sky. It stopped to hover in place over the park, then zipped to a nearby building that was undergoing renovations. Tasia watched the drone drop unexpectedly, climb a bit higher, then drop again. Once it was close to the scaffolding, a feminine figure appeared, extending her hand to make a grab for the drone.

Tasia blinked in disbelief. It had to be stress, or a breakdown, but it didn’t matter, because her feet were already moving. The woman disappeared inside the building, but that didn’t deter Tasia in the slightest. She counted the number of floors, made a mental note of the entrance, and was planning her entry when she caught a whiff of something rancid.

No, rancid wasn’t the right word. It smelled like a corpse, or perhaps rotting meat. Uncertain what had caused the stench, she realized it was trackable. Had the witch killed someone prior to going inside? Or was it a potion?

Tasia jogged toward the side of the building, the scent growing stronger. She didn’t bother looking around before making the fifteen foot leap off the ground straight up to the fire escape. The scent was stronger here, causing the hair on the back of her neck to rise. She was grinding her teeth as she ascended, her collapsed sword already in her right hand. When she got to the top, she scowled at the one-way security door. If she was going in, it would have to be brute force.

Still, she had the presence of mind to put her ear to the door first. Soft footsteps were approaching, and the scent grew worse. Her quarry was headed right for her, so Tasia took a step back and waited.

The door creaked open, revealing the witch herself. She was carrying a backpack and had a boogie board tucked underneath her arm. The witch paused at the sight of Tasia, and though her face didn’t register surprise, it was clear that she had been caught off guard.

Tasia was already moving. The fire escape groaned as she wrapped magic around it, temporarily binding her feet to the metal. Her whole body twisted as she put the entirety of her strength into a single punch capable of knocking a hole through concrete.

When her fist connected with the witch’s left boob, her whole body crumpled as she was knocked off her feet and back into the office space. She rolled across the ground and came to a rest against the opposite wall, hacking up blood and spit.

“Tit punch.” Tasia stepped through the doorway and drew her blade. This was going to be far better than therapy.

---

Dana had been deep in thought when opening the door to the fire escape. The battery of the drone had nearly died during its flight, and she had almost lost it. If she hadn’t gone onto the scaffolding to catch the drone, it would probably be a shattered mess on the concrete below.

The mission had been a success. Most event centers were built to be easily transformed, which meant there had been plenty of gaps to navigate around the backrooms. She was already going over several potential points of entry in her head when the bright light of day had temporarily blinded her, allowing Tasia to step inside the building and punch her hard enough that all the ribs on the left side of her body snapped. When she tried to breathe, it was nearly impossible, which meant a collapsed lung was likely. 

Good thing she didn’t need to breathe.

“I have no idea what you’re doing here,” Tasia said, unfolding her sword. “But you aren’t leaving alive.”

“Got…that…right…” Dana pulled herself across the floor, hoping to lure Tasia closer. The knight may have gotten in the nastiest sucker punch in history, but Dana still had some tricks of her own.

Tasia thrust her weapon forward, aiming for Dana’s chest. Dana rolled out of the way, unfolding her own blade in the process. The knight scowled at her and took a defensive stance.

“I’m in control this time,” Tasia declared. “Things are going to go very differently.”

Dana tried to reply, but couldn’t draw in enough air to formulate a response. Oh well, pithy comebacks were overrated anyway. She wheezed aggressively. That would have to do.

When their blades crossed, the impact nearly dislocated Dana’s shoulder. Surprised, she switched to a two-handed stance for better support and parried the next attack without too much trouble. Tasia pressed forward, her eyes gleaming as she forced Dana down the hallway.

“So where’s the succubus? I refuse to believe you’re on your own.” Tasia feinted to one side, and Dana took the bait on purpose. The knight twisted away from where their blades would have connected and tried to kick Dana in the knee.

Dana closed the distance between them and landed a knuckle-cracking blow to Tasia’s jaw. It should have twisted the woman’s head around, or at the very least broken her jaw. Instead, Tasia gritted her teeth together and took the hit, her eyes suddenly wild.

“I don’t think so,” she whispered before returning the favor. The impact was nasty, knocking Dana off balance. “You see, I’m stronger than ever, and you are nothing without your demon. You hear me? Nothing!”

Dana dodged the second punch, took a kick to the gut, and then was run through with Tasia’s sword. The knight pushed Dana backward until her back hit the wall, the sword puncturing the drywall and securing her there. Dana grunted on impact, and debated if she should just play dead for a bit and wander off later.

“You see, I’m not going to make the same mistakes I did before.” Tasia pinned Dana’s hand against the wall and punched her in the forearm until she dropped her own sword. The knight picked up the blade and took a step back from Dana. “No mercy, witch.” She held the sword level with Dana’s neck, then twisted her arm back to line up her swing.

Playing dead was no longer an option.Dana dashed forward, the sword ripping free of the wall but remaining in her chest. She caught Tasia with a flying knee to the sternum, then followed up with an eye gouge. When the knight stumbled back, Dana followed, raining punches down on her to keep her off balance.

“You…talk…too…much,” Dana wheezed, her lungs already getting better. Resetting those ribs was gonna be a bitch, but that was just another dead girl problem.

“How? How are you doing this?” Tasia tried to cut Dana with her own sword, but the zombie was too close. The knight was completely on the defensive now, unable to get her footing.

“Pilates,” Dana replied, then grabbed Tasia by the neck and squeezed. She didn’t want to kill the woman, but maybe she didn’t have a choice anymore. Tasia was already gasping for air, her fingers clutching at Dana’s hand. Those pale blue eyes of hers fluttered for a moment, then dilated completely.

Tasia let out an inhuman growl and dropped her sword. She grabbed Dana by the neck with one hand and casually lifted her off the ground. Surprised, Dana squeezed Tasia’s throat, wondering where this sudden surge of strength had come from. She punched Tasia in the face, but the knight didn’t even flinch.

Roaring, Tasia slammed Dana into a nearby wall, cracking the drywall and firmly planting Dana between a pair of studs. The knight's features elongated, her mouth stretching into a muzzle that revealed powerful clenched teeth. Hair sprouted along the woman’s arm, and then her entire body. Dana could hear bones snapping as they morphed and shifted, Tasia gaining at least a few inches in height as her transformation completed.

The knight had turned into a werewolf.

This violated pretty much all of the rules as far as Dana was aware. It was the middle of the day and there was no full moon. Then again, her knowledge of werewolves was based entirely on Hollywood assumptions. The one thing that was resoundingly clear about werewolves right now was that this one was going to tear her apart.

She grabbed the hilt of the blade buried in her chest and twisted it at an angle to hit the catch that would cause it to collapse. It did significantly more damage to her body while folding itself back up, slicing through her liver, but the shortened blade was now perfect for stabbing Tasia in the forearm.

The werewolf let her go, stumbling back as steam hissed from the wound in its flesh. Dana went on the offensive, slashing at the wolf. She paused only long enough to pick up her own blade, then continued forward. Tasia swiped at her with clawed hands, but Dana slapped the attacks to the side as she backed down a nearby hallway.

This situation had gone from bad to worse. Her body was in bad shape—even though it didn’t hurt, all it would take is an unlucky break to lose the use of an arm or leg, and that would be enough. Dana tried to make a break for it, but the werewolf ripped through a nearby wall instead of giving chase, cutting off her exit. This left her with little choice but to keep slicing at the lycanthrope with her swords, which seemed to actually hurt the creature.

They did this dance for a few minutes, and Dana couldn’t help but watch in awe as the wounds on Tasia’s body closed up in seconds. She had stabbed the woman with a blade coated in zombie blood, but nothing had happened yet. Did that mean Dana wasn’t infectious? Or perhaps werewolves were immune?

Dana was back in the office from where she had launched the drone. She moved through the window onto the scaffolding. Tasia was hunched over, nearly on all fours, her muscles tensing up and her claws ripping the old carpet. Dana stared at the werewolf, swords held up in a defensive stance.

There was hot fury in those pale blue eyes. Dana couldn’t tell if Tasia was still in there, or if the wolf had taken over. She had plenty of questions and no way of getting answers, so she pulled another tactic straight out of the Lily playbook.

“Bad dog,” she shouted. “Sit!”

Tasia charged forward as Dana leapt to the side. Tasia grabbed onto the railing to keep from falling over the edge while Dana ran along the shaking boards that connected them to the next bank of windows.

She folded up the swords and dove head first through the window, tucking into a roll that ended with her back on her feet. Dana ran through the office until she found her backpack by the fire escape door. The boogie board was broken in half, so she left it behind and shoved the door open. Already, she could hear Tasia’s growls coming down the office hall.

Dana jumped over the side of the fire escape and dropped, only to grab onto the next railing. She hopped her way down the fire escape and was almost to the bottom when the door above banged open.

Hoping that Tasia wouldn’t be able to hop over the side of a ten-story building without harm, Dana made the final drop to the street. She tried to tuck and roll to distribute her momentum, but the backpack screwed her up and she ended up flat on her back. Above, she could see Tasia staring down at her with semi-human features and a mask of pure hatred.

Dana rolled onto her stomach and started running, her limbs not working quite right. She got plenty of stares, but ignored them as she broke into an all out sprint. Could Tasia track her by scent? If so, that presented a unique problem.

“Fucking hell,” Dana muttered, flipping her backpack onto her stomach so she could rummage in it as she ran. She found her cellphone inside and dialed Eulalie’s number. The Arachne answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Dana.” Eulalie sounded tired. “What’s going—”

“I need you to tell Lily that I’ve got a werewolf on my tail and am going for a swim.” Dana ignored the funny looks she got from others. It occurred to her that she was covered in blood. “I need a change of clothes, gonna swim north a few miles to throw her off the scent.”

“Did you say werewolf?” There was suddenly energy in the Arachne’s voice.

Dana sighed. “Yes I did. I’ll call you back later when I’m out of the water.” It didn’t take her long to find access to the ocean, but it did mean scrambling across some rocks beneath a bridge. Grateful that her phone was waterproof, she dove into the water.

---

Tasia gazed in horrified wonder at the mess she had made of the office building. Her unexpected encounter with the witch had caused her to shapeshift against her wishes, and she had lost control for most of the fight as a result. It was only after Dana had escaped that she had managed to regain her composure.

“Fuck!” She slammed her fist into a wall, causing the stud to crack. A few more punches helped her to feel better. It wasn’t like anyone would mind a little more property damage. This incident had been ill-timed, and her best hope was that Lynn would back her up.

Groaning, she sat on the floor and put her face in her hands. Her outfit was torn and bloody, but her wounds were mostly gone. If not for the magical nature of her sword’s edge, it wouldn’t have been able to pierce her skin.

Fuck, her sword! That bitch had taken her sword!

Howling in rage, she hooked her hands into the wall stud and ripped out a good section of the frame. Somewhere in the building, she heard a door open.

“Hey, who’s there?” Footsteps approached, but went silent. “Holy shit.”

The footsteps receded, followed by the sound of a door again. Assuming that whoever had come to investigate the noise had gone for help, Tasia made her way to the fire escape and let herself out. The witch’s scent clung to the railing, so Tasia made her way off the property and out onto the street.

“Hey, you okay?” A man in board shorts and a tank top stared at her from the curb.

“You should see the other girl,” Tasia muttered.

“Think I did. Blonde chick, ran that way.” He jerked his thumb.

“Thanks.” She followed the scent trail, noticing the sour stench of death was even stronger than normal. Witches were known to dabble in some odd domains, but death magic was exceedingly rare. She pulled out her phone and called Master Lynn, but it went to voicemail.

“Shit,” she muttered, then made a call to Esteban. That call went to voicemail, too. If she walked back to the real estate office, she might lose the trail.

She wished Amida were here. The mage had an easy going nature that became all business when they were on the hunt, and it would be nice to have a partner right now, someone she could trust. The man had been such an important part of her identity that times like these really threw her for a loop.

The trail steadily got stronger, but the witch was clever. Tasia found herself staring out into the ocean, just shaking her head in disbelief. If she could ever get this bitch away from a body of water, the outcome would be very different.

Picking up a massive rock, she hurled it out into the waves and let out a  primal scream of frustration. Her sense of smell was good, but not enough to track through a body of water.

Groaning in frustration, she tried to call Lynn’s phone again as she climbed the breakwater rocks. When the woman didn’t answer, she almost threw her phone. Standing on the side of the road, she tried to ignore some of the stares she was getting. Looking down at her clothes, she realized that she was borderline indecent.

Muttering to herself, she headed back to Sunchaser Realty. She did her best to stay off the main road, taking alleyways and side roads to avoid suspicion. Feeling absolutely miserable, she rang the bell by the door and waited.

A couple of minutes passed without any response, so she rang the bell and knocked again. Puzzled that nobody was answering, she grabbed the handle of the door and pulled. The door swung open, and she realized that the door was no longer locked.

“Shit,” she muttered, reaching for her sword out of habit. When her hand touched her empty hip, she groaned. Whatever was going on, she’d have to go in unarmed. Halfway down the hall, she smelled blood.

“Shit, shit, shit.” She pulled out her phone and dialed Esteban. “C’mon, man, where the fuck is everybody?”

Nobody answered. Disturbed, she paused outside of the illusory wall, suddenly afraid to go inside. What on earth had happened?

The beast was just below the surface, ready to emerge once again. Maybe Tasia didn’t have a partner anymore, but it was going to be okay. If nothing else, she would rely on herself.

Stepping through the illusory wall, she put a hand to her mouth.

“Gods,” she whispered, surveying the carnage. It was indescribable. The room smelled of fire magic and blood. While counting corpses, she realized the number was higher than she originally thought. It wasn’t until she spotted brother Julian that she realized the whole team was here. “Lynn? Lynn!”

“Shhh.” Esteban walked around the corner, holding a box of crackers in his hands. “There’s nobody here that can hear you.”

“Esteban?” She stared at the knight in horror. “You did this?”

“Oh, no, this absolutely wasn’t me.” He stuffed a handful of crackers in his mouth and spoke with his mouth full. “This is what you’d call collateral damage.”

“But why?” She felt the rage seething just beneath the surface, but needed to keep it in check just a little bit longer. “These are your brothers and sisters!”

Esteban rolled his eyes and pulled his pistol free. “Ah, yes, the Order and its dedication to fictional familial relationships. Trust me, I know what that’s like. My mother is a real piece of work, but she’s all that I have.”

“I don’t understand, your mother?”

Esteban ignored her. “So lycanthropy, huh? And not just any werewolf, it looks like they finally perfected the process. Able to change at will, control the animal form. I saw it in the notes. You had your own little fan club here, it’s kind of a shame.” He yawned. “Anyway, the Curator already got his prize, but I’m afraid he’s taken an interest in you. You were just going to be the scapegoat for this, the bitch who lost control and slaughtered her team.”

Tasia growled, baring her teeth. This wouldn’t be like the incident with the witch, she was in control! She forced back her claws, her features rippling as bones tried to shift inside her skull. The transformation was always painful, and she was prolonging her own agony by fighting. “This wasn’t me!”

Esteban chuckled. “Oh, I know that. You know that. But these guys?” He kicked Julian’s foot. “They won’t give a shit. The story will make sense, and I plan on selling it to them.”

He pulled the trigger. The silver bullet was hot, hitting Tasia square in the shoulder. Her transformation stalled and she fell down. It was like her veins were on fire, and she couldn’t move.

Esteban shot her again in the gut, then put his gun away. “That should keep you from digging it out. Gut wounds are the worst, but you’ll be fine. The good news is that you’re going to escape from the Order. Yeah, you’ll be hunted, but they’ll never find you. Bad news? You’re about to become a lab rat.” He stood over her now, bending down to grab her by the ankles. When he did, a crystalline blue necklace tumbled free of his collar, dangling overhead. She recognized it as the same one Dave had been wearing.

“Fuck,” she whispered. Was it some sort of mind control? Cursed items like that were typically destroyed on discovery, and she wondered how it had come to be in Dave’s possession.

“I hate this thing.” Esteban tucked it away. “I carried it around for centuries, you know. Just in case someone ever killed me, which finally happened. The Curator is supposed to find me a suitable body, but now I get to travel around as his fucking servant cleaning up his mess. Figures. This new body, though, it’s holding up pretty well. Will probably get a couple of months out of it.” He pulled her by the feet, dragging her back into the hallway and toward an emergency door. There was a van waiting outside, and he loaded her into it.

“Esteban, please.” She searched the man’s eyes, hoping for a response. “If you’re in there, you have to fight.”

Esteban chuckled. “Oh, he hears you, and he’s very upset. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but if you’ve got some secret way to choke to death on your tongue, or maybe rip out your own heart, you should consider it. I’ve seen the Curator’s experiments. You are far better off dead.”

He closed the doors. Moments later, the van started, and Tasia cried out in agony, knowing that nobody would hear her.

---

The beach was crowded, but Lily didn’t mind. Between all the exposed flesh and the general party vibe, she was more than happy to people watch. Not only did it beat sitting around with Dana and going over yet another plan for perhaps a couple of hours, but Lily was also hungry and figured it wouldn’t take long for her to find a suitable snack.

“Florida sure is pretty.” Mike was walking next to her in a pair of board shorts and wearing Ray Bans, unseen by everyone else. This version of Mike was a small piece of his soul grafted onto her demonic essence. At least, that was the working theory. Otherwise, his presence was actually a sign of a mental break, which wasn’t unheard of in demons. “It’s even better when you don’t need sunscreen or bug spray.”

“Have you ever been?” she asked. It was easy enough to make it look like she was speaking into an earpiece, so she wasn’t worried about looking like she was crazy. Not that she really gave a fuck.

“Not to the beach. Attended a conference here one time, but didn’t make the effort to get some sand between my toes.”

“Tragic.” She paused at the sight of a family gathering. A collapsible shelter had been set up along with a barbecue. About twenty people milled about, clearly related to one another. There were some kids, too, and a pair of women monitored the children as they built a sand castle.

“Looks nice, doesn’t it?” Mike appeared ahead of her and was watching the gathering with interest. “Just a day at the beach.”

“I guess.” She watched as the women played with the younger kids. When Mike’s children came, was that her future? Glorified nanny?

“Only if you let it happen.” Mike didn’t always wait for her to speak out loud, but it wasn’t like she could banish this portion of her mind. “But I bet you’d look real cute, snuggling a centaur.”

She scowled in his direction. “I don’t need any shit from you.”

He shrugged. “Not like I have a say in the matter. I get to be the little voice that reminds you that you’re not just a murder machine.”

“Things were easier back then.” This was only partially true. Back when Amir and the society had been her masters, she was let out of her magic ruby only to assassinate people for them. Killing people was easy—dealing with them was much harder.

She sniffed the air, suddenly caught up in the ambrosia of evil. Ever since Mike and Naia had become her masters, she had to live by the rule that she could only feed on bad people. Typically, she would go out at night and hunt her prey, but she already had a funny feeling that the next couple of nights would be really busy.

Her future meal was a woman who looked to be in her mid-fifties, lying back in a beach chair with a beer in her hand. Lily moved nearby and spread out a towel.

“Hope you don’t mind,” she said, then sat nearby. “Figured I was less likely to be bothered if I was at least near someone else.”

The woman tilted her head in Lily’s direction and shrugged. “It’s a free country.”

“Thanks.” She slipped in a pair of earbuds and stretched out as if sunning herself. Beneath the blanket, her tail slid into the sand like a worm, crossing the distance between them. It emerged from below the woman’s beach chair and stabbed her in the fatty part of her ass.

“Yergh,” was all the woman managed to say before one side of her face went slack and she passed out. Lily disapparated her tail and moved her towel closer to the lawn chair.

“C’mon, sugar tits, let’s see what you’ve done to set off my kill-dar.” She reached over and held the woman’s hand. To anyone watching, it might look like a mother and daughter catching a nap, or perhaps even an older woman and her sugar baby. Lily didn’t care what anyone thought, as long as they were left alone.

Able to maintain her conscious mind in the real world at the same time as the Dreamscape, Lily walked along the corridors of her victim’s memories. Her name was Evelynn Throp and she was in her late forties.

“Damn, Evelynn, you need to take better care of yourself.” Lily sifted through her memories in an attempt to dial in on her past deeds. Based on a quick skim, it became readily apparent that Evelynn was a huge cunt. The woman was impossible to work with, a huge narcissist, and loved to bully people on social media. Still, those things alone wouldn’t qualify her as food, and Lily was getting hungry.

Walking along the corridors of Evelynn’s mind, Lily pushed open doors and watched the highlight reels. Narcissists were hard to figure out, honestly. Most of them didn’t see anything wrong with their behavior, which meant the succubus required a different approach. Instead of asking Evelynn’s unconscious mind what she had done wrong, she chose to pursue moments in the woman’s life where she felt that she was the unfair victim of circumstances outside her control.

There was the time Evelynn had spiked the coffee in the breakroom with laxatives, and then got frustrated when she was blamed. Sure, she had been the one to do it, but the proof they offered was circumstantial at best. Then there was the time she had set up a donation fund for a friend with breast cancer and ran off with all the money.

“Evelynn, you suck.” Lily shut the door and opened the next one. She saw a grieving family sitting in an attorney’s office. The lawyer was reading the Last Will and Testament of Charles W. Dunning and had just revealed that Evelynn, his new girlfriend, was his sole beneficiary. The crocodile tears on Evelynn’s cheeks as the family berated her were unconvincing.

“Ugh, this is worse than Netflix.” Mike sat nearby in a black suit and tie. “So much drama and no pay off. Don’t you have something better we can watch?”

“Somebody is being grumpy.” Lily moved next to Evelynn. “C’mon, you know you’re curious. Are you thinking she blew the dude until he changed the will or did she forge it?”

Mike frowned. “If I was a gambling man, I’d say she forged it. This woman takes from everyone she meets, I don’t see her spending time on her knees for any person in life.”

“Hey, it’s called a job for a reason. If you could suck cock and make a thousand bucks in ten minutes, you’d do it.”

“A thousand bucks? Is that really the going rate for a blowjob?”

Lily winked at him. “When you’re as good as I am, you bet your ass it is.” She grabbed Evelynn by the ear and pulled, causing the scene to unfold like a pop-up book. They were now in an apartment, and Evelynn was busy going through paperwork inside of a safe. On a nearby bed, an older man was frantically wheezing on the floor, trying to reach a bottle of pills on his bedside table.

“Oh, I see. She murdered him.” Mike shook his head. “Sounds right.”

“This bitch doesn’t believe she murdered him. It’s not her fault he took shit care of himself and can’t even reach his meds.” Lily sifted through Evelynn’s thoughts. “Yeah, she had a fake will ready. She met this guy at a restaurant, she was his server. Flirted with him a little, they went on a couple of dates, nothing meaningful.”

“So she’s food?”

Lily licked her lips. “You’d better believe it. In here, she’s at the bottom of the food chain.”

“Tragic. And at such a young age.” Mike’s tone was sarcastic.

“And right after she retired, too. Well, with all that money.” Lily dismissed the dream with a wave of her hand. Evelynn’s consciousness was almost in the Dreamscape, and she needed to finish setting up. “So what will it be, you skeezy bitch? College stud orgy? Dinner for two with your favorite celebrity?”

Sifting through Evelynn’s desires, she was upset to discover that the woman had no sexual desires for other people. Instead, she was closeted in regards to sex, and only masturbated once a month when her urges became too much.

“Ugh, this is going to take forever,” she groaned, then recreated the Florida beach. In the Dreamscape, she could build anything and even manipulate time. However, that didn’t always mean her meals came quickly.

Came quickly. This made her giggle in the real world.

“So what’s the plan?” Mike pulled out a lawn chair and sat nearby. As far as Lily knew, Evelynn wouldn’t be able to see him.

“Well, this woman only likes one person in the world, and that’s herself. So the best way to turn her on is to talk about her favorite thing in the world.” Lily summoned up an attractive man and had him run by Evelynn’s chair. By now, Evelynn’s mind was fully in the Dreamscape, and she sat forward with a start.

The importance of Dreamscape manipulation was not letting on that the victim was dreaming. For some people, this was very easy. For others, not so much.

Evelynn barely glanced at the running man, but he ended up coming back over and stood by her chair.

“Excuse me,” he said, flipping his hair aside. “ I was wondering—”

“Piss off.” Evelynn was already packing up her chair. “Go find someone your own age.”

The dream hunk frowned and ran off, disappearing from sight once Evelynn wasn’t looking. The woman was already wandering off the beach to her car.

“So I’m curious how you’re gonna do her in. Hot guy was a mistake.”

Lily smirked. “I don’t make mistakes in here, that was deliberate. She may be a narcissist, but she knows that a guy like that would never give her the time of day. She’s a predator, just like I am.”

The dream moved in fast forward. Prey like this took finesse, and she fed Evelynn dreams that fueled her own inner desires. They weren’t scenarios that generated sexual tension, those wouldn’t do. Instead, she made it so that Evelynn got her way.

It started with a speeding ticket. Evelynn cried hysterically because she had been busted doing 60 in a 45 MPH zone. The cop was stern, but melted immediately, and even apologized to her before wandering off.

Then came a free meal at a restaurant. The bill came to more than a hundred dollars, but Evelynn started an argument with the manager over her bread being too cold. Despite the man’s best efforts, he ended up comping her the meal and even gave her a gift card for a future visit, all while begging her to give the restaurant a good review.

Evelynn’s Dreamscape social media exploded with likes and smiley faces as she bullied public figures, a woman from her last job, and even got her old boss to admit to being a sexual predator, even though he had never actually leered at her. Her self-image slowly became reality, filling her with warmth and sunshine.

It had been nearly three hours in the real world, but weeks passed inside of Evelynn’s dreams. The woman had put on a documentary about a serial killer right before tucking a vibrating egg down the front of her panties.

“This is so gross.” Mike sat on a kitchen stool next to Lily as Evelynn made little grunts while watching her show. “Why do people watch stuff like this?”

“No idea, Romeo.” Lily held a bag of popcorn in one hand and a soda in the other. “In her case, she loves seeing the bad guy get caught, because she never has.”

“She hasn’t?” Mike lifted an eyebrow. “Seems like she’s been caught plenty of times.”

“For some people, perception is more important than reality. Hold on a second, dinner is almost done.” She moved over to the couch and studied Evelynn’s flushed cheeks. “Oh yeah, you love it when they get caught, don’t you? Seeing those big, scary men get taken down by their own mistakes. But not you. You got your fake will notarized and got away with all that cash. Just think about the things you’ll do once the courts finally release that money into your account. You’ll travel the world, maybe find someone else to scam, and…oh, here’s the best part!”

She moved behind Evelynn and continued whispering in her ear. In the real world, Lily sat up and knelt over the woman as if speaking to her. Her prey let out a tiny gasp when her orgasm hit, and her eyes fluttered open.

The eyes were the window to the soul, and Lily smashed the glass with a hammer before yanking it out. Evelynn’s body went on autopilot as her actual essence was sucked deep into the swirling mass of energy that was Lily’s demonic core. There she was greeted by thousands of previous victims who tore into her with nails and teeth as the woman screamed for mercy.

Lily belched and got back onto her towel.

“Delicious,” she muttered, her hunger sated. She laid on her stomach, undoing the back of her top to get an even tan.

“Why bother sticking around?” Mike was next to her now. “And you don’t actually tan.”

“It’s about the experience,” she replied. “I just finished my meal and want to relax for a bit before I get sucked up in dead girl drama. And even though this place is full of screaming kids, it’s a hell of a lot more peaceful than it is at home.”

“You mean it’s easier. You don’t give a shit about these people, so you can dismiss them.”

Lily scowled and turned her head in the other direction. Mike was sitting on the other side of her now. “You know, even Jiminy Cricket knew when to shut the fuck up.”

“Fair enough.” He moved to kneel over her. “May as well help you complete the experience.”

Though he wasn’t real, she could feel his fingers on her skin as he massaged her back and shoulders. She let out a sigh of contentment and enjoyed the attention. One of these days, she was going to get Mike to a real beach and let him spoil her.

Deep in her thigh, she felt her cell phone buzz. Annoyed, she forced it up to the surface of her body and pulled it from beneath her legs. It was a series of texts from Eulalie.

She debated ignoring them, but decided to be a good girl and sat up. Scanning the words on her screen, her mouth dropped open and she stood.

“A fucking werewolf? But how?” She tied her top and stood, leaving her towel on the ground. It would just turn into smoke and disappear once she was twenty feet away. Kneeling next to Evelynn, she patted the woman’s cheek condescendingly.

“Sorry to eat and run. Sounds like the bestie got in a fight with a real bitch.” She booped Evelynn on the nose, then walked away casually, to avoid suspicion. Once she was away from the beach, a pair of sneakers appeared on her feet and she broke into a jog. 

 


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