Dream a Nightmare

Technoblade sighed deeply. He closed his eyes, and his posture visibly shifted.

"I was foolish when I wrote that note, though even then I could not use the excuse of being young," he began. "I did not truly know what it would take, what it has taken, for this goal to truly be realized."

"About thirty years ago, before Tommy started, well... Being Tommy, I was already fighting. Phil was already telling me not to run off so much. I was already starting to become the orphan obliterator, but I was not yet the blood god.

"I stumbled upon a large village one day. It could probably be called a city, because of its size. I went in, looking for a blacksmith, or an armorer, or something of the sort. But all of the villagers were away. I saw a flyer for a meeting, happening today, so I decided to check it out. Sure enough, everyone was gathered in a central square.

"When I walked up to the square, there were guards at the entrance. They shoved me inside. I was apparently just in time. A villager came out, wearing a deep red cloak over his robes, which were vibrant purple. And I listened to his big speech, but all I could think of was what the robes would look like if I stabbed him, how satisfying it would be to watch red soak into the purple, and slowly spread across his chest. But it didn't really matter, because the speech didn't really mean anything. The speaker was really just blowing air, flaunting his power. As if he made the villagers assemble just because he could. That might have even been the reason, because I couldn't make out any other one.

"But after the speech, I looked around at the villagers. More than half of them had bags under their eyes. They looked beaten down, invalidated by society. But it wasn't just one, or two. Every single one of them had the same look. That moment was when I became an anarchist."

Technoblade sighed, lowering his eyes to the table. "After I noticed that, I called out, 'What gives you the right? What gives you the right to take from these people? What gives you the right to rule them?'

"Of course, the guards came for me. They pushed through the crowd, and they were surrounding me. That was when I first felt the spirits. I drew my blade, and I parried the first jab, and then stabbed the guard who had attacked me. Blood ran down my blade, and the next thing I remember, I was sitting in the speaker's house, wearing his robe and wiping blood off of my sword on the man's purple robes, which had a beautiful red rose over his heart.

"The rose wasn't there before, and the man wasn't moving."

Technoblade looked back up. He stared at each person in turn, as if daring them to contradict his actions. No one did.

"Then I was approached by a strange being. His form was defined, but the colors inside it were not. He had a black robe on. It wasn't black like you've ever seen before. It was true black. He told me that he had come to offer me a choice. A choice to remove the latent spirits inside me. A choice to live a peaceful life.

"As you may be able to guess, I chose violence. The being advised that I might wait to decide, and perhaps get some outside opinions. But I didn't wait. I didn't know what I felt while I was fighting, but I liked the feeling afterward. There was a sense of euphoria.

"And I knew what Phil would say, if he knew."

Technoblade gave a faint smile towards Philza. The last part was most likely a joke.

Philza was still thinking about the story, though. He was nodding his head.

"I should've known," he whispered, too softly for Technoblade to hear.