Dungeon Life

“And that’s the basics for my Butterfly Effect, Fluffles. Just subtle things lining up and leading to the next, like dominoes,” explains Teemo. While he’s specifically explaining it to Fluffles, he still has Rocky, Slash, and even the Stag listening. The big elk looks a bit lost, but I’m pretty sure it’s just because it’s a fate thing. From the bond, I think Rocky is interested in the theory, but isn’t planning much in the way of application just yet.

He hasn’t really practiced with his fate affinity, so I think he’ll work on things like true strike and such before trying to do anything too fancy. Still, Butterfly Effect could be brutal in his gloved hands. Or his normal hands, since his gloves are still at home.

Slash seems to be taking it more as a general lesson on magic, though I wouldn’t be surprised to see him trying to weave fate into his music. I’m still uncertain how bardic magic even works, so he’s on his own there. I don’t think he’ll have too much trouble.

Fluffles, on the other hand, is paying close attention, and I can feel him planning and theorizing through the bond with ways to use fate affinity. If he wants to pull off something special, I have an idea, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to explain it even through Teemo before the next battle.

Partially because Teemo needs to get going if he wants to get back in time for it. The scouts, both my denizens and the adventurers, are starting to see signs of civilization. No actual people or anything yet, but the little signs of booted feet moving around, curated wildlife, old campsites, and more. The kind of things found at the very outskirts of a town, where the more outdoorsy types occasionally visit.

With the dungeon’s territory close to being spotted, I need Teemo to get back with Rocky and the other denizens so I can get that mana, and then double-time Rocky back to the front, maybe with some basilisks, too.

“Alright, but we really should get going. Rocky, you told Leo and Honey everything you could, yeah?”

Rocky gives a tired grunt, and I can’t blame him. My Warden and Librarian have been grilling him for every scrap of information he could give them. Even Rocky, tough as he is, can only handle so much.

“Cool. The denizens should be ready to march, and the Boss wants us home and back here as quickly as we can.” Teemo smirks as Rocky grins and grunts again. “Yep, round two. Fluffles, Slash, you guys just keep on top of things and hold the fort down if anything goes bad before we get back. Or do whatever Leo says, he and Honey are looking like they’re going to be stepping up the expeditions now they have that dungeon’s scent.”

The scions nod at that as Teemo hops onto Rocky’s shoulder, and my Voice gives the Stag a salute. “Let your boss know Rocky will be back as soon as he can, maybe even with some of Thediem’s dwellers.”

“My Lord will be happy to host them, and hopes the impending battle won’t see them come to any harm,” replies the Stag with a small bow. He’s gotten a little less formal since the alliance, but he’s still pretty big on appearances.

Teemo nods at that with a complicated smile. “Yeah… me too. The Boss doesn’t want them to fight, but you gotta let them make their own decisions, you know?”

“I can only imagine. My Lord has yet to designate any enclaves, but I’ve seen how protective animals are of their progeny. A dungeon and their dwellers are surely similar.”

“Yeah, a bird’s gonna feed those hatchlings, but they’re eventually gonna fledge and go do adult bird things. They might be safer if you clip their wings and keep them in your care, but then they’ll never get to soar.”

The stag nods at that. “Indeed. Safe travels, Voice Teemo. I look forward to having this situation resolved, so both of our lords may return to more peaceful and prosperous times.”

“Yeah, looking forward to that, and so’s the Boss. Take care Stag, Southwood.” Rocky turns and waves over his shoulder as he heads for the denizens gathered near the outskirts of the Southwood. Sure, it’ll still be probably an hour before they even get organized enough to go, but it’s as good a farewell as any.

Even if it reminds me about the dangers my dwellers are putting themselves in for me. If I could, I’d give a frustrated sigh, but I guess I’m going to have to settle for just feeling frustrated as I let my thoughts carry me in circles I usually try to ignore. But that hasn’t really been solving the problem, so maybe I should examine them and try to break out of this annoying rut.

I don’t need them to help. I don’t even want them to help. This whole situation is a mess that I’d rather not expose them all to, but I can’t force them to stay out of it. It’s not even that I wouldn’t try, if I thought it could possibly work. Even setting aside the massive hypocrisy that would be, after helping Hullbreak, my dwellers are smart enough to get around whatever measures I might take to keep them here. It’d be doomed to failure, and only hurt them in the long run.

It’s like Teemo said about clipping a bird’s wings. Sure, they’d be safe, but they’d never soar. I want them to reach heights even I think are impossible, to achieve their dreams and have the only hardship they ever face be trying to come up with some even more impossible, fantastical goal to achieve.

But that’s just not life, no matter how much I’d like it to be. No matter how much I want to protect them, they need to be able to protect themselves. I've given them new spears and bows, I’m even trying to help with their winter clothing with the zippers Jello’s working on, but it still needs to be them who learn how to use all of that. It has to be them who does the fighting for themselves, even if their first real fighting is for me.

And that’s the real problem there, I think. I just don’t want them to get hurt because of me. Maybe I’m being egocentric, and they’d march off to try to save Aranya’s people even without me making my own plans to do it. Honestly… they probably would, or would at least try something. I’m proud of them. That’s why I don’t want to lose any of them.

“Lord Thediem?” Aranya’s voice upends my thoughts, and I focus to see her standing in front of my core, looking worried. Her concerned look softens as I watch, and she gently rests a hand on my core.

“You’re worried about the dwellers,” she states, and I don’t even try to deny it. She smiles softly and continues. “They know. They know it troubles you, letting them go to war, but they’re also glad you’re not trying to stop them. They worry for you, too.” She smirks and pats my core. “You’ve set too good of an example for them. You’re always trying to help others. I don’t know why you’re surprised others would try to help you, too.”

I want to reply to that, but I can’t come up with anything. It also doesn’t help that Teemo is quietly snickering from Rocky’s shoulder. I don’t know if he can hear what Aranya’s saying, but he probably knows we’re talking, and that I’m not exactly winning this conversation.

“They know the stakes are high. Even combined, they’re only a couple dozen people. Even with your gifts to help them, they’re going to be outnumbered against a foe Rocky had to get serious against. And this time it’ll be in the dungeon’s home, not a random outpost. They even know the Harbinger isn’t the only scion they might have to face down.

“But they trust you. They know you won’t just lead them to pointless deaths. They’ll do their best to follow Leo’s battle plan, using all their training, and try their best to come back alive. They don’t want to die, of course, but stopping the dungeon and the Harbinger is a cause they are willing to give their all for. And should they fall in the line of battle, I know they’ll be safe and protected in your embrace. You were their home once before, and The Raven will make sure you are again, in the end.”

Wait… what? But… what? What?! I don’t…! I can’t!

“Boss! You ok?”

“Lord Thediem!”

I miss the rut my thoughts were in, because now I’m in dangerous uncharted territory I was trying to stay out of. I try to focus on Teemo and Aranya, not letting my thoughts sprint off into crazy assumptions and wild conclusions. Just breathe… wait, I don’t breathe! Uh… calming thoughts! Aranya reading a book by the light of my core. Delvers gathering herbs. The adorable little murder machines that are the baby scythemaws. My scions.

Ok… ok, I think I’m doing better. Panic attacks are not any more fun without a body. Now… calm and collected.

“Boss?”

“Lord Thediem?”

I’m… well, not ok, but I’ll be alright. Just need to process a bit of existential dread. I thought dying made that moot, but apparently not. Just focus. The Raven is basically the reaper here, taking souls to the afterlife. Could it bring a soul to me? Stomp down that rising terror and think it through. What would I do with a soul? I don’t think I have anywhere to put one. Ok, good thought. Let’s feel around, see if anything might disprove that theory.

I try to reassure Teemo, and hope Aranya gets the same, before I start carefully looking through my menus. I’d think an afterlife would be a pretty obvious section in my options, but if it’s there, I’m not seeing it. I even try feeling around, instead of just reading. If I had anything like that, it’d probably feel similar to the spawners? My denizens wait inside when they’re ‘dead’, so any ‘dead’ dwellers (calm, stay calm) would probably need a similar space, right?

It’s easy to feel my spawners even without looking, but I don’t feel anything like an extra spawner. I don’t feel anything like an extra resident bond, or anything similar to what I feel with Yvonne, either. So… so she’s probably wrong, right? My dwellers, if they die (please don’t) will go to some version of Heaven here, right?

Logically, it makes sense. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I’m missing something, because it feels like my fate affinity is giggling at me.