Female tenant: 26-year-old heartbeat and life ups and downs

As the night deepened and the alcohol gradually faded, Su Ran zipped up his jacket, lit a cigarette, and tread lightly in the shadows cast by the neon lights, his heart full of boredom with the endless trivialities of life. He longed to make changes in his life, but he was at a loss and didn't know where to start. This confusion, like the thick night, enveloped him tightly.

Passing by a hotel, Su Ran looked up and saw dozens of windows with lights scattered all over the floor. In his mind, a picture of couples lingering in bed appeared inappropriately, as if the whole hotel was trembling slightly in this ambiguous atmosphere. This night, someone was enjoying the ecstasy and sweetness of the night in a warm room, while he was like a withered leaf, enduring the loneliness and coldness of the night alone on the street.

However, it was this sharp contrast that made the world seem so real and complicated. Su Ran thought to himself that this world is a complex full of contradictions, and loneliness and loss must be borne by someone. He tried to comfort himself, saying that he didn't need to feel wronged or complain about it. But the moonlight tonight was too bright, and his inner loneliness was nowhere to hide. He even silently prayed to the immortals in the sky to turn off the "power" of the moon. Although he was willing to bear the loneliness, he really didn't want to expose this loneliness nakedly in this cold world.

After returning to his residence, Su Ran habitually looked downstairs first, but did not see Xu Tianna's car. He went around to the opposite side of the building and saw that the car was parked there quietly. It seemed that Xu Tianna seemed to have gotten used to parking the car here.

Su Ran squatted beside the car and lit another cigarette, and the smoke slowly rose in the cold air. After smoking, he slowly walked upstairs and stood at the door of Xu Tianna's room for a long time before finally mustering up the courage to knock on the door.

"Xu Tianna, are you asleep?" Su Ran asked softly.

"Is there anything?" Xu Tianna's voice came from the room.

"I want to talk to you." Su Ran said.

As expected, Xu Tianna responded: "There is nothing to talk about between us."

"For what happened tonight, I have to at least thank you in person. Thank you very much." Su Ran said sincerely.

"No need." Xu Tianna still refused coldly.

"Yes, I feel bad if I don't say it." Su Ran said, and without waiting for Xu Tianna's consent, he pushed open her door as a token of gratitude.

The lights in the room were still on, and Xu Tianna was sitting at her desk, looking intently at the book in her hand, perhaps information, or perhaps a document.

Xu Tianna seemed to have long been accustomed to Su Ran's unauthorized entry into the room, and did not react too much.

Su Ran walked behind her, looked over, and asked: "What are you looking at?"

Xu Tianna ignored him, and her attention was still focused on the document in her hand.

Su Ran stood there awkwardly, but in his heart he was secretly thinking about how to express to Xu Tianna that he wanted to continue living here.

"Do you think it's appropriate to stand in a woman's room in the dead of night?" Xu Tianna asked coldly.

"I just want to say thank you to you, nothing else." Su Ran explained hurriedly.

"Then go ahead and get out of here." Xu Tianna said impatiently.

"Oh." Su Ran responded, and then asked flatteringly: "By the way, did you take medicine tonight? I heard you coughing just now."

Xu Tianna closed the file, frowned at him, and said: "If you have something to say, say it quickly, I'm going to rest."

"You asked me to say this, don't be angry if I say it." Su Ran said quickly.

"Then don't say it." Xu Tianna said mercilessly.

"That won't work. A gentleman's word is as good as his bond. If you ask me to speak, I will definitely speak." Su Ran thought for a while, and finally mustered up the courage to say, "To be honest, I don't want to move out at all." After that, he subconsciously straightened his body, trying to use a tough attitude to make Xu Tianna agree to his request.

Xu Tianna looked at him and said calmly, "I said that you don't have to pay back the money you owe for the time being, so you have no reason not to move out."

"I said I don't want to move out, don't you understand what I mean?" Su Ran raised his voice and said.

"But you promised me to move out more than once, is your promise so worthless?" Xu Tianna's words were cold, and there was a hint of anger in her eyes.

"What's wrong with you letting me live here?" Su Ran also said angrily. In his opinion, there are many people who share a house in this city. Why is he so attached to this house, but Xu Tianna wants to drive him away again and again? Besides, he thought he was a pretty good person in sharing a house, and he was a trustworthy roommate.

Xu Tianna asked back: "Tell me what's good about it?"

"Everywhere is good." Su Ran thought for a moment and said: "With me living here, if you encounter any neighborhood disputes in the future, I can easily help you deal with it. I tell you, I have some prestige in this community, and I'm known as the 'big brother of the community'."

"Don't be so naive, okay?" Xu Tianna interrupted him unceremoniously.

Su Ran sneered and said: "You don't believe it? You can go to other communities to see if there are square dance aunties disturbing the residents every night? Is there any in the community where we live? No! I tell you, although this community has no property management, I am here, which is much better than those property management companies."

"Even if what you said is true, it can't be a reason for you to continue living here, you must move out." Xu Tianna still said firmly.

Su Ran was irritated again and said, "Are you out of your mind? What's wrong with you letting me live here? At least if the water pipe is blocked or the light is broken, I can fix it, right? If you are not at home on a rainy day, I can still help you collect the clothes, right? Just like today, you are sick, I can't just watch you die, buy you medicine, and make you ginger soup, right? Why do you have to be so stubborn and make both of us unhappy?"

"I am not unhappy." Xu Tianna's words made Su Ran speechless. He was silent for a long time before he said, "I don't want to move anyway. I owe you so much money. I think it's more important to pay you back first than to move."

Xu Tianna asked unexpectedly, "Tell me, why is it more important to pay you back first than to move?"

Su Ran said almost without thinking, "I will feel at ease after paying you back. Moving makes me feel helpless and empty inside. If it were you, would you choose to pay back first or move first?"

"If you move out of here, you can still live somewhere else. How can you talk about emptiness and helplessness?" Xu Tianna continued to ask.

Su Ran looked around the house and felt an indescribable emotion in his heart. He knew that Xu Tianna could not understand his deep feelings and attachment to this house at all. Every time she drove him away, she never considered his feelings. However, after all, it seemed that she didn't need to consider it. This attachment was only for herself.

Su Ran lit a cigarette, trying to relieve the loss and helplessness in his heart.

"Don't smoke in my room, okay?" Xu Tianna's words were full of disgust again. Su Ran also knew that he was presumptuous and ignored that he was still in her room at the moment.

"Sorry, I'll go to the balcony to smoke." Su Ran whispered.

After smoking on the balcony, Su Ran returned to the living room, but was surprised to find that Xu Tianna was not in the bedroom, but sitting on the sofa in the living room.

For the first time, she took the initiative to speak to Su Ran and said, "You haven't answered my question just now."

"You just asked me why I feel empty and helpless after moving out, right?" Su Ran asked.

Xu Tianna nodded.

Su Ran sat down on the sofa opposite Xu Tianna and slowly closed his eyes. The countless days and nights spent here emerged in his mind one by one like movie clips.

After a long silence, Su Ran finally spoke: "I moved in two years ago. The first days of moving in were the darkest period of my life. I suffered from insomnia almost every night. I had too many worries and sorrows in my heart, but I had no one to talk to. In desperation, I could only treat the floor lamps, cabinets, wall clocks, and even a mop in the house as my friends and confide those unspeakable thoughts to them. Although they never responded to me, they were extremely patient. No matter how long I talked, they accompanied me silently. After talking, the pain in my heart was relieved. I am really grateful to them and everything in this house. They are my support and my friends. So, I don't want to leave, I love this house. Although it is very simple, it is the safest and warmest corner in this world for me." After Su Ran finished speaking, Xu Tianna looked at him with a very complicated look. Su Ran couldn't interpret the meaning behind this look, but just waited anxiously for her decision, silently praying in his heart that she would agree to let him continue to live here.