Chapter 8: It's Impossible to Run
The creature that escaped from the woods was nothing but a deer. A sigh of relief washed over Lilia as her body finally relaxed.
Just an animal. The scare it had given was unforgivable, though.
Lilia proceeded to head home—
"Wait."
Master Rudeus's voice stopped the maid in her tracks. It wasn't unusual for him to call out to her, but the weight in his tone sent a chill down her spine.
He was frowning, his brilliant eyes focused on something Lilia couldn't perceive. The boy had halted mid-step, silently staring at the forest from which the animal had emerged.
"Master Rudeus?" Lilia asked, her voice trembling slightly as her gaze shifted from him to the dark woods.
Something's wrong.
The oppressive feeling in the air grew heavier, suffocating. Lilia's gut twisted as her mind raced.
"It's not right," the brown-haired boy muttered, his eyes narrowing. "I can't see."
Her heart skipped a beat. "What... What does that mean?"
Before he could answer, the deer took a few feeble steps forward and collapsed. Its body rolled to reveal the other side of its torso.
Blood.
Its flesh was mangled, barely clinging to its body. Blood poured from the open wounds in rivers, pooling beneath the dying creature.
Lilia gagged, her hand flying to cover her mouth. The stench of blood flooded her senses, overwhelming her.
Though Lilia had been trained in swordsmanship and once served the kingdom, the sight of such grotesque brutality shook her to her core. Her stomach churned.
"I can't see what hunted it," Master Rudeus whispered.
"There is no point in finding out!" Lilia snapped, her voice trembling with fear. She wanted to flee. She needed to flee this place as fast as possible.
"Lady Zenith would be furious if we delayed any longer! Let's go home, now!" Panic surged, causing her to momentarily forget her formal tone in front of the boy.
"Is it possible that Miss Lilia fears blood?" Rudeus asked casually, as though they weren't standing next to a mangled corpse.
His words sent a sharp jolt through her mind, forcing unwanted memories to the surface. The sharp edge of the blade... She squeezed her eyes shut.
Stop. Focus.
"We have to go!" she stated, her desperation making her voice shake.
But the boy's voice remained calm, unshaken by the macabre scene before them. "It's useless to run. Whatever attacked this deer is likely watching us already. If we move, it will strike before we can react."
Lilia's blood turned to ice. The cold sensation spread through her limbs, paralyzing her.
"What do you mean, tried to kill it?" she questioned. "Is it not dead?"
A faint, unsettling smile crossed Rudeus's face. "No. Not yet." He knelt beside the deer's corpse, his hand glowing faintly with magic. "The predator left it alive on purpose. Why settle for one prey when you can have more?"
Lilia's heart pounded in her chest, the cold sweat dripping down her back. "And you want to go closer?" She could barely keep her voice steady.
"Well, it's better than standing still, don't you think?" Rudeus chuckled softly, his calm demeanor unnerving her even more.
Paralyzed by fear, Lilia watched helplessly as Rudeus approached the dying deer. Her legs refused to move, her body locked in place by sheer terror.
Rudeus knelt beside the animal, murmuring softly. The glow from his hands intensified, and Lilia could only watch as the deer stopped struggling. It gave a weak nod before standing on shaky legs, bowing its head in what seemed like gratitude before limping away.
Lilia stood frozen, her mind struggling to comprehend what she had just witnessed.
"What did Master Rudeus say to it?" she whispered.
He glanced at her over his shoulder, a mirth in his eyes. "Something like, 'Everything will be fine,' I think."
"Why... why help it?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "Most people would either leave it or put it out of its misery. Healing magic isn't something everyone knows how to use."
Master Rudeus shrugged, his smile innocent yet somehow disconcerting. "Well, I had the power to change its fate. Why not use it? Doesn't it feel better to help something in need?"
That doesn't make sense... Lilia's thoughts spun in confusion. Was this boy truly so compassionate, or was there something more sinister behind his actions? She couldn't tell, and the uncertainty gnawed at her.
"Do you truly believe healing magic is only used for good, Miss Lilia?" Rudeus's voice broke her thoughts, his words echoing in her mind, the question sending a shiver down her spine.
Before she could answer, a strange pressure settled over her. It pressed against her chest, growing stronger with each passing second.
Something was indeed watching them.
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Monsters.
Born from the chaotic flow of mana that suffuses the world, these creatures are nature's aberrations, twisted and dangerous.
In the densest pockets of magic, where mana storms rage and the air hums with arcane energy, ordinary animals mutate, becoming beings driven by primal instincts. These are places adventurers often seek out to hone their skills, slaying monsters to keep the world safe.
Buena Village, once a peaceful outpost, had never needed significant defenses. The monsters near it were small, low-ranked threats compared to the beasts lurking in other lands. However, over the years, the local mana surged, far beyond anything seen before. For a time, the change seemed harmless, but then, slowly, it warped the land's creatures. A child of magic had been born in the village, unnoticed by the people, but profoundly affecting the natural world.
It was subtle at first, creatures becoming... odd. Birds that once fluttered carelessly now moved with an eerie precision, and the animals in the nearby forest seemed to carry an unsettling stillness. These small changes were ignored, chalked up to the passage of seasons.
Harmless animals, once part of the peaceful balance, began to twist. These were small mutations at first, unnoticed by human eyes. Over the years, these mutations grew, and the creatures began to act on new instincts. They sought blood.
What had once been peaceful had now become predators, drawn by the scent of life, driven by a hunger that could not be sated. And on that fateful day, they made their first move.
And then, they hunted.
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Lilia was scared, her breath catching as the world around her fell unnaturally silent. No birdsong, no insects. It left just an oppressive stillness and the bite of the frigid air. She swallowed hard, knowing something was terribly wrong.
The boy, standing only a few feet away, felt like her only way to stay occupied, but even his presence wasn't enough to ward off the growing dread.
The ground beneath her trembled, the earth itself seeming to groan in warning.
"Huh? What is thi—"
A monstrous roar tore through the air. The ground erupted beneath her, dirt and debris flying in all directions as Lilia cried out, her body flung aside by the force of the explosion. Pain shot through her foot. She screamed in a sharp, piercing agony. Lilia's head spun, vision blurring as she collided with the earth. Her mind cried to move, to get away before those terrible fangs tore into her.
But her legs refused to cooperate.
The monster towered over her, its eyes glowing with a bloodthirsty gleam, its jaws gaping wide, fangs dripping with anticipation. But before the monster could strike, its head rolled clean from its body. A gust of wind whooshed past Lilia, followed by a spray of blood, staining her clothes in a deep crimson.
She blinked, disoriented, as the chaotic scene around her unfolded. Blocks of rock and searing flames rained down upon the monsters, shattering their bones, breaking fangs, and drawing out pained, guttural howls.
The earth beneath her trembled again, the shockwaves toppling trees and snapping the forest into madness. More beasts clawed their way out from the depths of the ground, hungry and relentless, their snarls filling the air as they surrounded her.
Lilia's body refused to obey, her leg throbbing with pain as blood pulsed from her wounds. She was trapped. Panic gripped her as the beasts closed in, leaping toward her with reckless abandon, undeterred by the blazing fire that singed their fur.
Please, I don't want to die… She chanted, her voice trembling, tears mingling with sweat as her vision blurred further. Another fireball shot past her, the heat searing her skin, causing her to squirm in panic.
Run. The voice in her mind screamed. Run!
But she couldn't. Her body was frozen, pinned by pain and fear.
Then die!
A twisted, cruel giggle echoed in her ears, distorting her thoughts, and mocking her helplessness. One of the beasts lunged, claws grazing her cheek before its head was violently ripped from its body, the decapitated form crumbling before her eyes.
Lilia barely had time to register the glowing beam of light that tore through the monster's back, piercing it with unrelenting force. She blinked through her tears, trying to focus on the figure that approached. The boy, Master Rudeus, was fighting his way toward her, his small frame growing larger as he neared the place where she had fallen.
Why!? Lilia's mind screamed, Why didn't you run!?
But her voice was lost, trapped in her throat, her body too weak to protest. The boy—no, the one she thought a demon—came to her aid, his face strained from the battle but determined. Blood dripped from his forehead, red lines scratched at his body, the most terrible gash tearing through his chest, yet he stood still before them.
Whatever she could see, Master Rudeus wasn't left unharmed. He was breathing heavily.
This person is amazing, he is standing in the face of all these beasts with the threat so overwhelming.
"H-haha,"He chuckled weakly,"It was a while since I exerted myself this much. I didn't expect them down here." It was said in such a muffled tone Lilia failed to hear properly.
He then looked up at her injuries, eyes clear from worry even with all this horror.
His eyes glowed faintly, casting spells from his left hand while the other traced intricate something in the dirt around her. The ground itself seemed to respond, creating a barrier. A shimmering, near-transparent shield that enveloped Lilia. The monsters slammed against it, but the barrier held firm, keeping her safe from danger.
She shall not be harmed.
The true nature of this mystery.
The weight of her injuries seemed to lift as his hand touched her leg, warmth spreading through her body, the pain ebbing away. Lilia's eyelids grew heavy, her vision fading as darkness approached. Before she succumbed to unconsciousness, she saw a glimpse of something—a flash of white hair, an unfamiliar smile.
Who…?
Her mind struggled to comprehend, but the boy's soothing voice cut through her confusion.
"I'll mend you. No need to worry."
His amethyst eyes softened as he spoke, and though the scene was drenched in blood and chaos, Lilia felt an odd sense of calm.
"Thank you…" she whispered, her voice barely audible before the darkness claimed her.
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Light.
That was the first thing she saw, a piercing brightness that made her squint, her eyes adjusting to the unfamiliar surroundings.
Is this heaven? Lilia's mind struggled to piece together the fragments of her consciousness. Or is this... hell? Am I dead?
Her throat was dry, and as she tried to speak, a violent cough tore through her chest, alerting the presence nearby.
"Lilia!"
A man's voice broke through the haze, drawing her fully back to the present. Lord Paul stood by the doorway, his expression softening with relief as he rushed to her side.
"Zenith mentioned ya might open your eyes today!" His voice was gruff, yet beneath it, she could hear genuine concern.
"L-Lord Paul?" Her voice cracked as she spoke, feeling the rawness in her throat. "Lady Zenith?"
Paul scratched the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze as he handed her a mug of water. "T-thank you very much," Lilia mumbled, taking a cautious sip, her hands trembling slightly as she tried to make sense of what was happening.
"Lady Zenith?" she asked again, her mind swirling with confusion.
"Ah, she's doing laundry right now," Paul said, crossing his arms and grinning in an attempt to ease the awkwardness. "But she'll be back soon."
Her heart skipped a beat, panic rising in her chest as she processed the information. How long have I been asleep?
"W-wait, first… Master Rudeus, is he safe?" Her voice trembled as fear clawed at her.
Paul raised his hands in surrender, "Rudy's fine! He's a strong boy, don't worry." With that, he quickly excused himself to fetch Zenith, leaving Lilia alone with her thoughts.
There were so many things Lilia wanted to ask about.
When Zenith entered, the tension in the room shifted. Her gaze bore into Lilia, cold and unreadable, making the maid feel small, pressed against the bed like a child caught misbehaving.
"Lilia... do you hate Rudy?"
The question hit her like a blow, and for a moment, Lilia was stunned into silence, her heart pounding in her chest. She opened her mouth to respond, but the words caught in her throat. The guilt, the shame, everything she had buried deep inside, threatened to break free.
"What...?" she finally managed, her voice barely above a whisper.
The truth, so long hidden, now weighed heavy on her soul. She couldn't lie any longer.
"I... sinned," she confessed, her voice shaking, "Even though Lady Zenith and Lord Paul have given me the job of my dreams… I still thought of Master Rudeus as… a freak of nature. A monster."
Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued, her words spilling out faster now, "While you, Lady Zenith, looked at him with love and affection, I… averted my eyes. I was scared. I felt disgusted. And for that… I will leave. If it is your wish, I'll pack my things and go. I don't deserve to serve this family."
The silence that followed was unbearable. Lilia kept her head bowed, waiting for Zenith's response, each second stretching into eternity.
"Lilia," Zenith's voice cut through the air, sharp but measured, "Even with the things you've said, I don't believe you ever had ill intentions toward my family."
Lilia's head shot up, her eyes wide with disbelief. How could she say that?
From Lilia's perspective, she had made a cardinal mistake that would cost her the job at the Greyrat Family household.
Zenith's gaze lessened, but there was an undeniable strength behind it. A strength Lilia had never truly noticed before. The aura of a woman who had weathered countless storms and emerged unbroken.
The words washed over Lilia, and for the first time, she felt the depth of Zenith's understanding, her kindness. She had always seen Zenith as gentle, but now she saw the fire beneath.
"Lilia is important as she is part of the Greyrat family! You are not a stranger to us or Rudy, the reason he healed you nearly instantly, disregarding even his surroundings of nearby monsters was for none other than to save Lilia!"
"I made a mistake," Lilia whispered, her voice trembling, "I… underestimated you. Both you and Master Rudeus. I was wrong."
"I cannot let go of you, Lilia," Zenith continued, her voice steady, "because you are part of this family. Not just a maid or a servant."
"T-truly?"
"You made a mistake," Zenith agreed easily, "but even then, I think Lilia tried to look for us. That's why you suspected Rudy of wrongdoing. Because it could be harmful to me and Paul."
Zenith smiled, an almost sad expression crossing her features. "Yes, you did make a mistake. But we all make mistakes, Lilia. What matters is how we move forward."
She continued, "I could never fire you for I know how Rudy is feeling. I know how special of a child he truly is." The blonde woman smiled gently and a little sadly.
From Zenith's point of view, there is no way for her to fire Lilia on the spot. It didn't cross her mind no matter what.
"Y-you knew?" Lilia asked stunned, "That Master Rudeus is no normal child? That he is far from what you would expect?" It was a great shock to the maid as Zenith lacked any reaction whatsoever when it came to the bizarre aura surrounding her son.
"Of course!" Zenith huffed, "The moment I noticed Rudy seemed different, I began trying to learn more about it, meeting with village women under the pretext of child-raising. Rudy lacks any bad treats he should have that's why I did my best to eliminate my own faults as well. If both the mother and the child are perfect, then there is nothing wrong with it, is there!?"
Zenith Greyrat did her best to become what you expect to be a perfect mother figure wishing for her child to feel comfortable.
The reason why she did it is because…
She didn't wish to be left behind.
No one in this world loves Rudeus more than her.
This mother is so accepting as she loves her child. That's why she tries her best to meet the necessary needs of mothering this boy.
When Lilia was made aware of this, her crying increased. She was the one who was inconsiderate and underestimated Zenith Greyrat's resolve.
Fear of failure as a mother.
Determination of one who prayed for her child's happiness.
Zenith was lost in Rudeus' performance but the effort she made despite this preceded what normally could be achieved.
That's the amount of influence the son possesses over his mother.
She climbed what could be said to be an indiscernible mountain only to stand by her child's side.
It is the true essence of Zenith Greyrat.
The weight of that realization settled on Lilia's heart. She had been blind, too caught up in her own fears and insecurities to see the truth. The Greyrat family had never seen her as just a servant. They had always treated her as one of their own. And Rudeus… he had risked everything to save her.
Whether she wants it or not, she is indebted.
"I'm so sorry," Lilia sobbed, burying her face in her hands, "I'm so, so sorry."
Zenith's hand remained on her shoulder, offering comfort without judgment.
"No one's perfect, Lilia," Zenith said softly, "but we're all doing our best. And that's what matters. So try your best as well Lilia, okay?"
Lilia cried until there were no more tears left. And when she finally looked up, Zenith was still there, her presence warm and steady, like a beacon in the storm.
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Amethyst eyes dimmed as the boy named 'Rudeus Greyrat' finished listening to the conversation.
His expression was a mix of emotions as the wizard reflected on what he had heard.
Mother was wrong about one thing.
There was no need for redemption for a blame that didn't exist.
Beyond that, Merlin's failure to keep things under control was the reason it had come to this.
He was the source of Lilia's troubles, though Merlin hadn't expected her to be so perceptive about his actions.
Because Lilia wasn't wrong.
Merlin was, indeed, a demon and a freak of nature. A being born from a human woman and an incubus. There was no way a child from such a union wasn't twisted.
That's why he felt a bit guilty when it was mentioned.
Finding amusement in others while ignoring their suffering was something he often did.
The wizard could not leave—he was trapped.
Perhaps, just perhaps, this was a sin.
The pen glided smoothly, the sound of writing filling the room. The brown-haired boy looked sad as he stared at the paper.
He had to finish this. He focused on his work, trying to clear his mind...
...I foresaw many events, both the good and the bad, yet I remained dormant, watching possible outcomes unfold. For all the knowledge I once prided myself on, it wasn't until I transcended my true nature that I realized: that my actions hurt more people than I had ever cared to admit.
I lied every time we met, and now I find myself trapped in the consequences of those lies.
I saw the protagonist of this story in you, forever etched into the annals of human history. Your name, and that of your knights, will never be forgotten. But you, the child I once observed, were both the kingdom's final hope and its greatest flaw.
You strove for something beyond the reach of mere mortals, making this kingdom beautiful in ways no one else could.
"I am proud of you." When I said those words that day, it was a mistake—a deliberate one. I knew the madness that would follow, and I played my part in it.
The king was too great for humanity, but no one understood. Even the most brilliant minds cast judgment, accusing my student of lacking selfish ambition. How foolish. The kingdom needed you, but it never deserved you. And I, as your teacher, followed the flow of destiny, guiding those who were blind to the truth.
Do not let another ruler shame you for your mistakes. You became what you were meant to be. The errors were not solely yours; they were shared by the knights, the people, and me. After all, it was I who advised your actions, and I did so with pride. If anyone has a problem with that, they can take it up with me!
But enough jokes. There's something you likely wonder about, and I must disappoint you yet again.
You ask yourself if I could have stopped this. I'm sorry. Such a thought never crossed my mind. I enjoyed watching the story play out before me. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear.
Yet now, I can't help but question whether the cost was too high. Could I have prevented the worst? Regret, a feeling I never believed in, has started creeping into my thoughts. Every moment spent here, I am reminded of that time. Ever since I was born of a human mother, this thought has haunted me.
Is this what it means to be human?
I am of human parentage, but I never thought much of it—until my time spent with my mother, Zenith. She filled me with something indescribable, a warmth I never knew I could feel.
How would you see me now? Your teacher, once so sure of himself, is confused, scared even, riddled with contradictions.
I am a being of dreams, yet I cannot sleep. And here I am, writing this under the moonlight, hoping that somehow, this letter will reach you through time and space.
Perhaps what I want to say is.
"I am sorry."
These three words hold the weight of everything I wish to convey. To remind you of the significance of your choices.
I can't change the past, as much as you wish I could. The events of the future may fade, but they cannot be erased. Whether you want it or not.
Please, heed my words. If you don't, all that awaits is disaster.
Misery is not a companion one should keep forever.
Do you remember that night I forced you to sit beneath the stars with me? You were so determined to keep a straight face, barely able to stay awake, flushing with embarrassment at your yawns. It was one of my fondest memories—seeing you struggle to stay composed.
I may not have been the best teacher, but I still tried to leave you with something meaningful. And perhaps stargazing wasn't the worst lesson. The stars, whether on the battlefield or in moments of peace, are always there. They change, slowly, once in a hundred years. Try to see the future in them, as I once taught you.
Writing this feels a little ridiculous since I know the next time we meet, you'll likely have your sword at my neck, ready to chop off my head. Still...
You are my student. Hypocritical as it sounds, I want the best for you, Artoria.
Despair is endless, yes, but so is hope.
One day, we'll meet again. Perhaps on opposite sides of a battlefield. I don't care. The only thing I fear is losing the sensations of this life when I return to the Garden.
Maybe then I'll free myself of this terrible feeling.
May this letter find you,
Your teacher, Merlin.
...
The warm glow of candlelight flickered as a chilling wind swept through the room. Outside, owls and crickets created their nocturnal symphony while the boy focused intently.
Merlin paused, rolling the letter and folding it carefully to avoid any creases. He hesitated for a moment before igniting it with a burst of fire magic.
The letter, fueled by his hidden desires, transformed into ash, leaving only black dust on the pristine floor.
"As I thought," Merlin groaned, grimacing at the memory of its contents. "It's far too out of character."
Anyone who read it would undoubtedly mock it, dismissing it as a mere joke. The wizard would be left feeling humiliated and discontented.
The words held a human regret he had long convinced himself he didn't possess. Yet, it was impossible to ignore; his very thought process was at odds with this realization.
He recalled the encounter with that enigmatic girl. She was a friend now, perhaps. One he had enjoyed teasing, hoping his little deception would bear no consequences. It seemed the future promised to be quite interesting.
Still...
What am I to do? He pondered, reflecting on his human life and how far his research into mystery had driven him.
The Wizard Merlin spent his days observing the world from behind a veil, caught in a never-ending cycle, seeking amusement to pass the time.
As a result, he struggled to understand how to live as a human, even after all these years. Life felt far too short.
His eyes glowed, piercing through the surrounding darkness.
Human emotions had begun to play a significant role in his existence, making life more enjoyable than ever. There were precious little moments that rendered it immeasurably special. Time was nonexistent in the timeless tower, yet here, it slipped away too quickly.
After a moment of reflection, Merlin turned his gaze to the open cupboard beside the desk, spotting the phantasmal flower he had collected from the fields.
"Hmm, it's been a long time since I practiced alchemy."
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