Genius Idol’s Strategy to Conquer the Entertainment Industry

Chapter 242

This time, with the comeback just around the corner, if I had shown myself getting seriously injured in front of everyone watching, it would have been difficult to handle smoothly even with grace.

With such thoughts filling my head, a concerned yet stern voice flew towards me, On Raon.

“Look me straight in the eyes.”

“Okay.”

“We’re not blaming you unconditionally right now. We’re worried you might get hurt.”

“……You don’t have to worry about that.”

“How can we not worry?”

“…….”

Talking about grace would surely be dismissed as delusion.

If, in the middle of living as On Hae-jae, I had heard about grace and the Administration seriously, I would have scoffed and asked what kind of novel they were writing.

Having long given up on being understood by someone about such circumstances, there was only one thing I could say.

“I’m confident I won’t get hurt.”

Without raising his voice, Ban Yo-han quietly repeated the same words as if wondering if I really had some secret trick up my sleeve, a rather unlikely thought.

At the same time, Ban Yo-han was also taken aback by my stubbornness, not letting the situation slide with a half-hearted excuse or an insincere apology.

‘Even though he doesn’t seem like it, if he were born in the Joseon era, he’d probably be the type to say frustrating things like ‘Your Highness, please have mercy’ or ‘Please kill me’ a hundred times and get dragged out.’

To those who don’t bother to view others as a complicated puzzle but see them as they are, my attitude might just appear as mere stubbornness.

“Are you a child?”

Gyun Seong-ha asked sarcastically.

I frowned.

It was extremely insulting to hear such words directly from Gyun Seong-ha, who was the most childish among the members, all of whom were mentally younger than me.

“What…….”

Before I could respond properly, Seo Moon-gyeol stepped in.

“Seong-ha.”

“I know!”

Yeah, you know, huh? As the older members were about to be relieved, Gyun Seong-ha, who was upset, continued in a sharp voice with clenched fists.

“He’s much younger than I thought!”

I must have been crazy to have ever thought of this kid as mature.

Gyun Seong-ha mocked himself.

Not once, but twice.

Even more so, hearing I was childish from no one else but Gyun Seong-ha made me snap as well.

“Are you done talking?”

As I tried to stand up from my seat, Ban Yo-han pressed my shoulder down firmly to sit me back down.

For someone who had almost been seriously injured just a moment ago, it was rather rough behavior, and Kang Ji-woo and Seo Moon-gyeol tried to stop Ban Yo-han, but seeing that I looked fine, they let it go.

“On Raon, don’t get worked up and just listen.”

“…….”

“…….”

Thanks to the curious eyes around us, wondering if we were fighting, the atmosphere somehow settled back to allow for a conversation.

Kang Ji-woo began to explain in a calm voice.

“Listen. If you get hurt here and can’t stand on the comeback stage with us, we’ll be upset, you’ll be upset, and the fans will be upset too. Moreover, this time we’re coming back with your song. Do you want to sit alone on one side of the stage? You don’t, right?”

Though his voice seemed to be getting faster, making it sound like he was getting angry, if you listened closely, it was all words of concern for me, putting aside the comeback or anything else.

I wasn’t unaware of that.

On the contrary, it became more apparent to me compared to the treatment I had received for a long time.

For the same reason, I couldn’t get used to it at all.

Every time, I couldn’t bear most of the affection I received, pushing it away, and only accepting the unavoidable part, which made me question if it was because of my warped and gloomy nature, created by a distorted environment.

Sometimes, I had doubts I couldn’t tell anyone about.

However, every time I had such self-tormenting doubts, the kind concern of someone who tirelessly reached out to me was far stronger than a drip of water drilling a hole through a rock.

“No matter how fearless you are, you’re not thoughtless or reckless enough to ignore the situation, right? It was clear to anyone that the request was unreasonable, and it was right not to comply. Why did you do it?”

Maybe it was because I felt the traces of the lonely suffering I had endured for so long.

Like someone coming out of a cold, damp basement into the warm sunlight, I felt unusually sentimental and softened, listening to the words of the members who shared daily life closer than anyone else.

Then.

I decided I didn’t want to make a choice that left me lonely anymore.

No one in this world could understand the 23 years of On Hae-jae’s life.

But I still wanted to be understood.

I wanted to be understood, even if just a little.

For the first time in over 20 years, the primal and fundamental desire to be understood by those I interacted with arose strongly.

On Raon, who was hesitating with conflicted feelings, finally opened his mouth.

“I thought I’d never be able to do it again.”

That was as much as I could confess, just barely.

“What?”

On Raon, who had glanced at the place where his seventeen-year-old self had been, continued speaking in a voice that trembled unconsciously but maintained a calm tone.

“At that time…”

Maybe he thought.

“I thought I’d never be able to do it like that again.”

On Raon, who had never learned how to express his desires in coherent words, took a deep breath through his mouth because of the lump in his chest.

Deep breaths helped calm the trembling but did not teach him unknown words.

“That’s why I did it.”

It’s selfish.

Wishing to be understood without being able to properly explain.

However, sometimes things can be felt even without words.

[With the effect of the trait ‘Inborn Pitiful (天生可憐)’, the firm resolve of those who were about to scold you softens, as if touched by a poignant story that transcends worlds and eras.]

Though many things were omitted, including the subject, the members who met his eyes, filled with longing for some object, could no longer blame him.

Knowing what ‘On Raon’ had been through, how could they say harsher or more severe words when facing that expression?

“I’m sorry for acting on my own right before the comeback. It’s not something that can be done just because I want to, and I should have been more careful even if I felt like I could do it.”

Having finally managed to break down another of the countless walls and better understand the concerns of those around him, On Raon blinked rapidly and continued speaking.

“But I’m really okay. I’m not just saying it; I’ve hardly ever been hurt before, so you don’t have to worry too much…”

On Raon stiffened and stopped talking.

“!”

Kang Ji-woo, who had previously looked stern, suddenly softened his face like the gentle sunlight of a spring day and hugged him tightly.

“You’ve had a hard time.”

“Why all of a sudden…”

“You’ve worked hard.”

His eyes wavered at the warm touch patting his back.

Then Seo Moon-gyeol joined the hug without hesitation.

Ban Yo-han, who habitually wondered how many more high and dense walls remained, also followed Kang Ji-woo’s judgment, probably arriving at the best answer without complex logic or reasoning.

Lastly, Gyun Seong-ha, who blushed, conscious of the strange looks from those around them, suddenly pulled in the bewildered Gwak Sang-hyun, who was standing there clueless, making them a complete group.

The members of Orca, who had been practicing far away, looked over, wondering what was happening, as they suddenly raised their voices and went from a serious atmosphere to hugging each other.

‘Did something hard happen over there?’

‘They look like kids, so cute.’

‘Were they fighting earlier?’

‘They must be really close to each other…’

Even without knowing the context, it was clear that the affection they had for each other made them look like real siblings.

Witnessing a scene that was ridiculous yet somehow touching, some felt a sudden warmth.

Some even felt a pang of envy, thinking about the distant relationships among their own group members.

Of course, some found it odd and watched them with confused expressions.

And as if none of that mattered, Orca continued to hug each other warmly.

On Raon, unable to bear the hot-blooded young men’s overwhelming warmth and the unbearably cheesy atmosphere, struggled fiercely, shaking off the sentimental feelings that were so unlike him.

“What are you doing, making it uncomfortable?”

“When you want to hug, you should hug.”

On Raon, who punched Kang Ji-woo’s chest as if the words he had just made up were a famous quote, retorted sharply.

“When did I ever say I wanted to do that?”

“With my 22 years of experience as the eldest and 0.7 years as a leader, combined for a total of 22.7 years of caring experience, you had a face that would appreciate a hug just now.”

“……This hyung shouldn’t mind being compared to Ban Yo-han, no matter how much he dislikes it.”

“For the sake of the youngest, I can endure such a stigma as much as needed.”

“Hmm, but Kang Ji-woo is still Kang Ji-woo.”

In terms of making such unique comments, he was indeed unbeatable.

“You don’t have to call me hyung. In fact, it feels like I’ve gotten closer to the youngest without it. It’s great. Hahaha. Hahahaha!”

Looking at Kang Ji-woo’s transcendental expression and tone, stuck between an enlightened Buddha and a fake guru who’d sell spring water as holy water, On Raon, drained of energy, closed his mouth and said nothing more.

Meanwhile, he wondered.

Even sharing just a fragment and having them empathize brought him such joy.

How overwhelming would it be when these guys finally understood the 23 years of On Hae-jae?