Gotham's Dead End Bar

The Dead End was packed. Another night of serving Gotham's underbelly. But like always, Didi and I were somehow never too busy. Giving me plenty of time to tell my stories. No matter how much a certain Batgirl protested.

"Don't you dare, Sean…" Batgirl practically growled.

With an unrepentant grin, I pressed on anyway, "So! Who wants to hear another story from Mr. Barkeep?"

"Sure, big man, whatcha got for us tonight?" One of the few henchmen at the bar asked.

I hummed, "Hmm, how about something a little more local than usual?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Two-Face grunted.

I answered his question with a question, "How many of you know about Apokolips?"

"As in the concept of the world ending? I think Earth faces it enough for us to be familiar," Riddler snorted with humor.

"No, no, I'm talking about Apokolips," I explained. "The planet with the butchered name spelling. Think of Hell, right? The traditional Christian version of it. Fire, brimstone, all of that. Now, make that environment into a planet and cover the whole thing with a city. That's Apokolips."

A few at the bar shifted uncomfortably at the imagery. Penguin proved himself to be made of sterner stuff, asking, "So? Why's this Hell planet so interesting? It's not like Aliens and other worlds are news to us."

I shook my head, "Apokolips itself is a dreary place, not all that interesting outside of the cruelty and tyranny that make up life on its surface. But what is interesting is the being who rules the planet: Darkseid. Some of you might know of him. He's one of Superman's strongest enemies, a so-called 'New God'. He seeks the Anti-Life Equation, desiring nothing more than to conquer all life in existence and-…"

"Sean, please?" Batgirl was practically pleading at this point. "So much of this is classified by the Justice League that it isn't even funny."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not in the Justice League," I chuckled.

"Still, you'll start a panic," She huffed in frustration.

Didi laid a comforting hand on my shoulder, "How about we keep the conversation to levels that don't ruin everyone's appetite, yes, Dear?"

I sighed, "Fine… All you really have to know is that Darkseid is Big Bad with capital 'B's. But he's also not the focus of my story. No, he's only the antagonist. Our true hero is… Santa Claus."

My words were met with silence. Then disbelieving laughter. Almost as soon as it started, those listening were laughing hard enough to clutch their bellies. 

"What is this now, fiction?" Two-Face guffawed.

I looked him dead in the eye, "I assure you, Santa Claus is as real as you or I."

He scoffed, "Pull the other one. It's got bells. Jingle bells."

"Batgirl?"

Batgirl sighed, unenthusiastically putting on her 'official statement' voice, "The Justice League and Bat Family will tentatively admit to awareness of the being known as Santa Claus."

The shocked silence returned. Straight from the mouth of the (a) Bat. They couldn't easily dismiss Santa's very real existence now. And none of them knew how to react to it.

Eventually, one of the henchmen broke the silence, "Is he… Is he dangerous…?"

"Oh, God, Villain Claus…" Another muttered in horror.

Batgirl reassured the room, "As of this time, he has not been given a significant threat rating and we have decided to take a hands-off approach due to the good he does for the world. That is all I'm willing to say on the record."

"… Think any of us are on his 'nice' list?" Riddler asked the other villains at the bar.

Penguin sighed, "It's Gotham. The whole city probably lives on the naughty list."

Two-Face scoffed, "And that's if he doesn't just write us off completely on some third, even worse list."

"Hmm, I'll see if I can talk to him about changing that," I hummed an offer. "Though, I doubt either of those options are true. And I don't know how often he delivers presents these days…"

Batgirl looked like she was moments away from slamming her head onto my bar, "I can't believe I'm saying this but please don't engage Santa Claus. Batman will get mad if you invite him to the city and the Joker kills him. Robin would also try to kill him when he inevitably 'breaks into' the Batcave and tries to leave presents… Or coal… Honestly, we're just as likely to get either."

Scarecrow snickered, "Beating up people at night isn't very 'nice', is it? Even if they're criminals and villains."

"Try," I corrected.

Batgirl blinked behind her mask, "I'm sorry?"

"The Joker would try to kill him. He wouldn't succeed. Santa Claus is immortal."

She hit me with a deadpan stare, "I still don't think he would appreciate the attempt."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "But if anyone can rehabilitate the Joker, I'd put my money on Santa Claus."

We all stopped to consider that. I saw Batgirl discreetly type a note into the gauntlet computer on her wrist.

I shook my head, "Anyway, I'm getting way off track. Back to the story?"

"Yes, please," Riddler said. "I'm very curious as to how Santa Claus and this 'Darkseid' tie together."

I grinned, "Let me tell you about a yearly tradition. One that should be happening in just a couple of weeks now. I'm, of course, talking about Christmas on Apokolips…"

As I spoke, my voice dragged people in. They focused on me intently, some even leaning forward in their seats. I spun a yarn, relying on lifetimes of experience talking and telling stories. It was a diverse audience and I reveled in blowing all of their minds.

"So Apokolips, as the homeworld of a New God, is a veritable fortress. It's an unforgiving place. Its landscape alone could repel invasions, to say nothing of its defenders. The armies of Parademons are intimidating enough. Then there are the Furies. And beyond that Darkseid's elite troops.

"And Darkseid is above them all. Even by himself, He could give the Justice League a run for their money. He calls himself a god and as far as anyone can tell, it's true. He's a high-tier cosmic threat. Hell, he's probably one of the most dangerous beings in the universe. If not for his power, then for his sadism and tyranny."

"Oh, my God," Batgirl facepalmed. "It's turning into another 'ex-wife' story…"

Shooting her a smirk, I continued, "So what happens for Christmas on Apokolips? Well, it seems Santa's made it his sworn duty to deliver coal to Darkseid."

My statement was met with the appropriate amount of shock, "He gives… a god… coal?"

"Like a naughty child…?" 

I nodded, "And fights through Apokolips' defenses to do it. Each year. Without fail. Just picture it. A jolly old fat man dodging eye lasers and sadistic supervillains just to deliver a single… lump… of coal."

Surprisingly, out of everyone in my audience, Batgirl was the first one to break.

She broke out into giggles and laughs that were so pleasantly out of character for her Bat persona, "Heheheheheh~! That's definitely not in the League's files! Oh, that's too good!"

"I also found the story to be humorous," A new voice said flatly. When everyone looked toward it, we found Robin sitting at the bar as if he'd always been there.

"Ah, Jesus! Fuck!" Scarecrow recoiled, sitting right next to where Robin had appeared without a sound.

A few of the villains laughed at their spooked 'colleague', "What's the matter, 'Crow? Can't handle a little jumpscare?"

Somehow even behind his burlap sack mask, Scarecrow's glare was visible, "Jumpscares don't count! They're the cheapest form of horror!

Robin simply hummed, eying the villain he scared, "Interesting…"

"Robin?" Batgirl asked once she'd recovered from her Santa-induced giggle fit. "What are you doing here? Weren't you patrolling on the South side tonight?"

"I was. Something more pressing came up," Robin answered in a flat tone of voice.

"Like what?"

Instead of replying to Batgirl, Robin turned to me, "Esteemed Barkeeper. I have a request to make of you… How do I make Father reward me with headpats?"

I blinked. Batgirl blinked. The villains blinked. The whole bar blinked. Robin didn't even flinch despite his strange request.

"Uh… Come again? Do you mind elaborating on that, Robin?" I asked.

Robin nodded, "Of course. When we first visited, you dismissed me with headpats. I found the action… vexing and confusing. I have since changed my mind. I would like headpats. Yours were acceptable. But I believe Father's headpats will be much more satisfying to me. So I would like to request your assistance in petitioning him."

While the rest of us were still reeling in confusion, Didi cooed over Robin, "Aww, of course, we'll help, little bird~ Come here~ Good vigilantes like you deserve all the love they can stand~!"

Robin complied with Didi's invitation, effortlessly vaulting the bar even from a sitting position. Once in front of her, he stopped and stared expectantly. I could practically see Didi's heart melt. Hell, mine did too. But only she was lucky enough to give the tiny vigilante headpats at the moment.

Didi patted Robin's head. She smoothed down his hair. Her slender fingers gently scritched at his scalp. She KILLED his stress and worries with a headpat as only Lady Death could. And though he didn't show any outward reaction, Robin exuded a very relaxed aura. Like a large (or relatively tiny) cat. I swear he almost started purring.

"How was that, little bird?" Didi asked as she eventually pulled back.

Robin's eyes fluttered back open, "… Good. No offense intended, Esteemed Barkeeper, but her headpats were much better than yours. I suspect they will be even better than Father's."

"None taken, kiddo," I waved off his apology. "Trust me, I get it. Didi's just great like that."

"Yes. Agreed…" He paused and a calculating glint entered his eyes. "Lady Didi. Are you in the market to adopt a vigilante?"

"Robin?!" Batgirl gasped. "Just for her headpats?"

Robin didn't even glance at her, "You are too old and uncultured to understand the glorious bliss of headpats."

"Old?! I'm 22! Why do all of you think I'm some old spinster?!"

"Because you are."

"Well, exxxx~cuse me for being confined to a wheelchair for three years!"

"You're excused."

Batgirl glared at Robin, "Neutrality or not, I will strangle you."

Robin didn't seem worried at all, "You will try. But perhaps your time would be better spent finding someone to finally settle down with. It is nearly too late for you already."

"You little shit!" Batgirl growled and lunged at Robin.

I caught her and swept her into a princess carry mid-lunge. She found herself glaring up at me instead of likely strangling Robin. As always, Robin was utterly unbothered.

"Hey, now, let's just calm down a bit. No fighting inside the bar. Not even family disputes," I chided lightly.

"There, this is a much better use of your time, Batgirl. Perhaps Esteemed Barkeeper will even teach you the unmatched joy of headpats, subpar as his vintage may be," Robin said. "Meanwhile, I will enjoy Lady Didi's sublime, exquisite vintage of headpats."

A grin grew across my face and I set Batgirl down to sit on the edge of the bar. She was still glaring at me, "Don't you dare, Sean."

I dared, patting her head and cooing, "There, there, all the good little vigilantes can get headpats at the Dead End."

"I ha~AAT~e you~!" Batgirl's growl was disrupted by a pleasant shudder. "Oh my… That is nice…"

"I told you so," Robin deadpanned in the background before melting back into Didi's headpats.

And so, the Dead End was treated to the sight of two Bats melting from headpats. Thankfully, most of my customers were classy enough to pretend they didn't see anything. One henchman tried to film but I stopped him with a glare and a quick Death for his phone. As much as she was enjoying this, I didn't think Batgirl would look kindly upon it being shared with the world.

Suddenly, one of the windows at the front of the bar shattered and a figure came flying through it, "Halt, evil-doer!"

Batgirl was quicker than me on the draw, snapping almost instinctively, "Shut up, Nightwing. Can't you see we're busy here?!"

The third member of the Bat Family to enter my bar froze awkwardly. He was a tall, well-built young man in costume. Knowing what I did, Dick was about the same age as Barbara. Maybe a bit younger. He was also cheesy in the most lovable of ways. This was probably his way of playing a prank.

Still, I fixed him with a firm look, "You're paying for that window. Or no more headpats for the BatFam."

"Nightwing…" Batgirl growled menacingly.

A sudden Batarang — razor-sharp and perfectly aimed — took off a lock of Nightwing's hair. Robin still barely looked up but his threat could still be felt in his words, "You will fix the window, Nightwing."

Nightwing sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "Uh, sorry about that… Just wanted to make an entrance…"

"No hard feelings," I assured.

Batgirl made a little noise in her throat and physically dragged my focus back to her and her headpats. As in, she grabbed my hand and pulled it back onto her head. I did my best to emulate Didi, KILLING Batgirl's stress and worries. She moaned a satisfied sigh.

"So, Nightwing, what can I get for you?" I asked, going about business as usual as if Didi and I weren't giving out headpats.

"I'm still on the clock so just some juice, I guess," He answered, coming over to take a seat at the bar.

"Nightwing. Fancy seeing you here," Penguin greeted. "What brings you to our little Dead End? Finally seen the light of villainy?"

Nightwing chuckled, "No, I'm happy with the position I'm in. I was chasing Red Hood, actually. He owes me-… Well, let's just say he owes me."

Unnoticed by most, Red Hood slipped in through the now-broken window at the front of the bar. Much like Nightwing, Red Hood was tall and well-built. But where Nightwing was lean, Red Hood was bulky. Even with the added mass, he moved like a ghost, not making a single sound upon his entrance. It was almost creepy to see such a big man move so quietly.

He sat himself next to Nightwing, "You're not going to get me to pay up, 'Wing."

"I won fair and square, Hood!"

"What does he owe you?" Two-Face asked.

Nightwing hesitated and Red Hood's smirk was audible through his mask, "Go on, tell them."

"… I don't think I want to," Nightwing deflected, acting indifferent.

"Nightwing here has been a bit of a player," Red Hood said for him.

Nightwing sniffed, "I prefer the term 'bisexual disaster'."

"Sure, bud," Red Hood deadpanned. "Anyway, he had a 'night of passion' with Black Canary and Green Arrow and now he wants me to 'let them down easy' for him."

"Too much information, Hood," Nightwing winced. "Couldn't you just tell them I wanted you to talk to a girl for me?"

"And a boy?" Red Hood smirked.

"I… was not expecting that from a former Boy Wonder," Two-Face admitted with a stunned blink (wink for him).

"Nightwing's a manwhore," Batgirl rumbled distractedly.

"You're just mad I'm more popular than you with men and women," Nightwing shot back.

"Damn straight!" Batgirl growled. "It's not fair, you damn twunk!"

"Twunk?" Nightwing blinked.

"A cross between a twink and a hunk," Riddler explained. "You do happen to fit the bill quite nicely. Batman and Red Hood are hunks. Red Robin is a shortstack. I imagine Robin will grow up to be a twink. Eventually, of course. Right now, he's just cute and terrifying."

"Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this, huh, Riddler?" Two-Face joked.

Riddler rolled his eyes, "Even if they're beating me up, a man can only ignore the obviously attractive men in front of him for so long. Honestly, the Bat Family has a great selection of eye candy. In my mind, it goes Batman, Red Hood, Nightwing, and then Red Robin."

"Why wasn't I on your list?" Batgirl asked pointedly. "Actually, why weren't any of the Batgirls?"

Riddler gave her a flat look, "Honey, you are ~so~ not my type."

"Oh… Oohhhhh," Batgirl quickly realized the obvious implication in Riddler's words.

Red Hood turned to Nightwing, smugness radiating off of his posture, "Heh… He thinks I'm hotter than you, 'Wing."

"Well, he's wrong," Nightwing grunted.

"I don't know~" Red Hood singsonged. "He's the expert on hot men~"

"So am I!"

"Yeah, but only, like, half-expert."

"That's not how that works!"

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"You sure?"

"Positive!"

As the vigilantes descended into childish arguments, the Dead End gained two new patrons. Harley and Ivy walked up to the bar to greet the rest of us. They were quickly distracted by… well, just about everything that was happening.

Two of Gotham's premier vigilantes were squabbling like petty children. Behind the bar, another premier vigilante was getting headpats and scritches from Didi. And on top of the bar, I was doing the same for yet another. Four of the city's best were found in utterly uncharacteristic situations. Harley and Ivy could only stare.

"Harley… I think we missed something important."

Harley pouted, "I told ya we should have shown up early, Red!"

"Hello, business partners," I greeted them, not pausing my headpats of Batgirl for even a moment.

Harley shook off her pout and returned the greeting, "Hey, Gothboy! Hey, Girl-Bat! Damn, you've been busy, huh?"

"Not really," I chuckled. "They all just kind of showed up at the same time."

"And how did that lead to… this?" Ivy asked, gesturing at the scene inside the bar.

"Well, Robin wanted more headpats like the ones I gave him the first time we met. He was annoying Batgirl to the point that she tried to start a fight. And I couldn't allow that so I placated her. Like so," I explained, punctuating my last sentence with a headpat that got another almost lewd moan out of Batgirl.

"As for the other two," I continued. "Nightwing was being a slut and Red Hood's just seems to like teasing him. Then Riddler said Red Hood was hotter than Nightwing and the obvious argument started."

They were silent for a moment as they absorbed all of that. Then Harley burst into giggles, "Hehehehe~! Oh, this place is great~! You never get to see the Bats acting like this~! Oh~! I'm going to jump in between Hood and 'Wing~!"

"Have fun, dear," Ivy drawled.

Harley skipped over to the arguing vigilantes and inserted herself between them.

"I just don't think being bisexual means you have a monopoly on who's hot and who's not," Red Hood calmly explained, acting that way to further provoke Nightwing.

"It does, actually~!" Harley chimed in. "I can vouch for it personally~!"

"See? Now, it's two against one," Nightwing declared, proud of his 'victory'.

Red Hood tutted, shaking his masked head, "You're going to take the word of a supervillain? For shame, 'Wing…"

"Watch it, bub," Harley snapped playfully. "Supervillains just rely on their powers. I ain't got none. This is 100 percent, pure villain. That's how we do it in Gotham."

She slapped her own ass to emphasize her statement. For a moment, the jiggle took center stage in the bar. Pert, perky, and just about perfect — Harley's tight bubble butt was a work of art. It took a second for the arguing vigilantes to regain their wits.

Red Hood faked an imperious sniff, "If you say so. I still think I'm hotter."

"Oh yeah~?" Harley grinned a mischievous jester's grin. "Prove it~!"

Hesitation entered Red Hood's voice at her enthusiasm, "How…?"

"The Former Boy Wonder Runway Show~!" Harley declared.

"Think we can get them in swimsuits?" Riddler asked, following along with the argument he started in the background.

Red Hood and Nightwing glanced at each other. Nightwing said, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea…"

That seemed to decide things for Red Hood. He smirked behind his mask, taunting Nightwing, "What, you scared I'll be proven hotter than you, 'Wing~?"

"Oh, you're so on!" Nightwing's competitiveness came rushing to the fore.

Harley cackled, "Yes~! Yeeeessssss~! Yeeeee-…" She paused mid-cackle, "Uh… a little help, Gothboy?"

I snapped the fingers of my free hand negligently. Death of This Argument. Or something. I wasn't very invested. Not when I had a Batgirl melting beneath my fingertips.

My powers did their thing. But since I didn't hold a clear picture in my mind or really even care how the 'Death' happened, they took on a mind of their own. Or maybe Didi influenced them judging by the sly, amused look she gave me out of the corner of her eye.

Either way, my powers took a… creative route to killing the argument. The localized reality was not-so-subtly rewritten, certain aspects dying and being reborn differently.

The space in the bar was suddenly pushed back and the arguers and arguees found themselves standing on a short catwalk. A good portion of my other patrons — who were naturally interested in the argument — found themselves in chairs as the catwalk's audience. Nightwing and Red Hood even suddenly found themselves in tight, revealing swimsuits with their masks still intact.

"Gah!" They both recoiled. "Where'd my costume go?!"

"You'll get them back when you stop arguing about stupid shit in my bar," I told them in a bored voice.

"Thanks, Gothboy~!" Harley called out, suddenly sounding much farther away. "Let's get this show started~!"

With Harley pushing things along, a vigilante runway show started to take shape in my bar. Two men in just about perfect, peak condition acted as the models. Harley drafted Riddler and Penguin to act as her co-judges. Riddler was happy to see his idea brought to life. Penguin went along with an exasperated sigh.

The show quickly captured everyone's attention. Almost the entire lady population of the Dead End were cheering and 'mirin'. Along with more than a few men. As fun as watching two vigilantes so far out of their element and strutting their stuff was, I had more important things to focus on.

"I should really be writing down that you can do that…" Batgirl grumbled.

"Shh~" I soothed. "Head empty. No thoughts. Just headpats."

She moaned her agreement, "Mmmmmmm~…"

"So, Ivy, want anything to drink?" I asked as Batgirl once more melted into a happy, bat-shaped puddle.

Ivy leaned across the bar with a sultry smirk, "I think I'll have what she's having~"

I chuckled, "I can do that. Come on up here and sit yourself next to Batgirl."

She did as I asked, accentuating her movements to put all of her assets to work in trying to tempt me, "Or maybe more~? Something more… carnally satisfying~?"

I smirked right back at her, "Best I can do until I'm off the clock is headpats."

Ivy held herself nobly, "Very well. Headpats are acceptable. For no-… Ohhhhhh~"

That noble front melted the moment my hand touched her head. I played with her hair and massaged her scalp. Just like with Batgirl, I went to work killing any stress and worry. Now, though, I added trauma to that list for both of them as well.

The quite literally healing headpats quickly had Ivy moaning, mewling, and melting. The flowers in her hair budded and bloomed. Vines grew from them and tickled my fingers as if trying to hold my hand in place. A sweet and subtle, aromatic scent filled the air.

"I swear this is just as good as sex~" Batgirl groaned.

"Your fingers are entirely in the wrong place to be making me cum, Sean~" Ivy added.

A silent figure came up beside me. I didn't jump but it was a near thing. Where were these Bat Kids coming from?!

Black Bat (AKA Cassandra Cain) was a short, petite, young woman. Lithe and lean, her lethal, muscled figure was visible even through her costume. The costume itself was decently standard for the Bat Family. Black coloring, flexible material, well-concealed armor, and the Bat symbol on the chest.

The only notable addition was the lack of a standard Bat cowl. Instead, she wore a plain black half-mask that covered her mouth and nose but left her eyes free to emote. Given that I knew she wasn't the most verbal member of the Bat Family, that seemed like a necessary allowance.

"(゜.゜)" Black Bat 'said'.

'What are you doing?'

I blinked. Even with the mask, she was expressive enough to convey her curiosity. Her expression and body language communicated for her instead of words. And somehow, I understood her as if she was speaking full sentences.

"Uh… Headpats…?" I answered with confusion in my voice.

"(o_O) ?

"⌒(,,๏ ⋏ ๏,,)⌒"

My mind naturally translated Black Bat's expression, 'Headpats…? Headpats?!'

"Yeah, headpats. Like the ones I gave Robin. I'd offer you some but, uh… I only have two hands."

Ivy groaned and forced herself to move, "She can have my place. If I keep going much longer, I'll end up jumping Sean right here and now. And I don't think Batgirl will appreciate me taking away her source of headpats, even for something like that."

"Mou mou! (ー_ーゞ" Black Bat nodded earnestly. 'Yes, (cheek-clapping, cunny-crushing, hand-holding, mating-pressing, breeding) sex is fun…!'

I paused for a moment to stare at Black Bat. She didn't look ashamed at all. As if she hadn't 'said' just about the lewdest thing I'd ever not heard with just a simple facial expression and unintelligible little noise. Then Batgirl growled slightly and prompted me to continue with my headpats.

"Black Bat," Batgirl said. "You're implying more than you mean to again."

"Mm-mm… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )" Black Bat shook her head. 'No, I'm not.'

"Well, you're implying more than is appropriate!" Batgirl snapped back.

Black Bat just shrugged, "┐(´～｀)┌"

"Ugh… I'm way too relaxed to deal with this shit."

"So you want headpats too, Black Bat?" I asked.

"Yes, I suppose I should get up," Ivy sighed.

"(*^^*)" Black Bat poked her fingers together shyly. 'You don't mind~?'

"No, dear, it's fine," Ivy chuckled. "This is for everyone's good so I don't cause a scene straight out of a porno."

"(─‿─) (人´∀`)" 'Thank you ♡~'

Ivy slid off the bar and Black Bat hopped up to take her place. She nudged Batgirl happily and flashed a thumbs-up at Robin. Robin returned the gesture distractedly. He was a bit busy leaning into Didi's massaging fingers.

I placed my hand on her head and began to headpat. Almost instantly, her eyes lidded. She began purring. Honest to goodness purring. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was related to Selina Kyle.

"(─‿‿─)♡"

I just accepted my place in life after all this. I was more than happy to be a glorified headpat machine for two immensely satisfied women. Especially, with the way Batgirl was slowly beginning to let out little moans that sounded a bit more than satisfied.

But I wasn't so distracted that I ignored the rest of what was going on in my domain. The vigilante runway show continued on as chaotic as ever. Then a surprise made his entrance into the Dead End. 

Bruce Wayne stepped through the front door. Tall and so handsome it was actually unfair, Gotham's number one billionaire playboy was a strange sight in my bar. But it wasn't completely out of character for him. So while he attracted a few curious eyes, most went back to what they were doing immediately after.

This was the man who loved his city more than anything. He gave back to the city and mingled with the common man enough that he might have been the only billionaire who would escape the inevitable 'eat the rich' revolution. He was a paradox: an actually likable rich person.

Intelligent eyes hidden behind a fool's mask scanned the bar. Bruce Wayne smiled as carefree as ever. Batman took in everything before him.

His eyes landed on two of his adopted children strutting their superhero physiques for a crowd, being judged by villains even. They landed on another three who had willingly given themselves over to the evil siren's call of headpats. None of Batman's undoubtedly chaotic emotions showed through Bruce Wayne's happy-go-lucky mask.

He chuckled, "I think this is just my kind of scene. Alfred, do you mind finding a spot for the car? Then why don't you come inside and have a drink with me while we watch Nightwing and Red Hood show off and embarrass themselves?"