He Who Feels Guilt [Honkai: Star Rail]

Narrator's Pov

"Ryan, how are you feeling?"

Bronya asked a bit worried as she gently held Ryan's shoulder, in response he simply grunted, he stood up quickly making the girl stood besides him and then he shook his head a bit.

"I'm...fine, just a headache, don't worry Bronya..." He spoke softly as he let his head go, already stopping to hear the voice of Cocolia in his head. "Was that Cocolia's guilt? It felt...much more stronger than the others...."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" The girl asked and he quickly nodded. "I think it'd be the best if you sleep, it's getting late."

"You're...probably right, I'll go tell the others...you should come too, to let them know you're back" he breathed softly to calm himself and then walked towards the Hotel.

"Yes, do you want me to help?" She asked as she started to follow him.

"No need to, it's slowly getting better..." He gave out a small sigh.

As both of them entered, they saw Stelle on the door of her room, apparently talking with March 7th and Dan Heng.

"Guys..." Ryan spoke softly approaching them.

"Ryan? Are you okay?" Stelle asked with a small tone of worry on her voice.

"It's...just a headache" he gave a slight side-eye towards Dan Heng who looked back at him and nodded with his head and approached him.

"I'll help Ryan go to his room" the other boy softly patted Ryan's shoulder.

"Uhm...fine" Bronya nodded her head.

Dan Heng calmly accompanied Ryan to his room, the white-haired boy walked in and then sat on the bed, softly grabbing his head with his right hand while Dan Heng entered looking at him.

"What happened?" He asked while looking towards Ryan.

"Cocolia...I heard her guilt" Ryan frowned slightly.

"From the tone of your voice I suppose it felt different?" He raised an eyebrow and the other boy nodded with his head.

"It felt more...stronger and deeper, until now the strongest one I've felt was Bronya's...but this time it was different" he sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. "I haven't even gotten completely used to this power..."

"For now, rest a bit, we'll continue talking tomorrow, have you told Bronya about this?" Ryan shook his head and spoke.

"I didn't want her to do something rash, Cocolia is her mother...I know how it feels to care for the one that raised you... I'd do anything for Mr.Teo..." he spoke and closed his eyes. "I'll tell her tomorrow...even if I don't want her to do something reckless, she deserves to know about this..."

"Fine, we'll tell her tomorrow, sleep, I'll take the first watch, unless anyone else wants to take it." Dan Heng looked down at Ryan who opened his mouth to speak. "No, you will sleep, you won't take any turns"

"Fine..."

"Well, have a good sleep, Ryan." Dan Heng slowly walked out of the room and closed the door.

As Ryan sat silently on his bed he groaned a bit, the small pain on his head was still lingering even after he stopped hearing the voice of Cocolia.

He silently looked down towards his own bed, he really wanted to sleep just as Dan Heng wanted him to...but another nightmare could force him up, and the stress of a nightmare was something he didn't really wanted to deal with at the moment...

"I'll...try to sleep a bit, this phone had an alarm or something like that right?"

He checked his phone and after a few seconds he let out a small sigh, he had prepared an alarm to wake him up after a few hours of sleep...not like if he needed any at all, but Dan Heng was right, some rest could be good for him, he slowly layed on his back, looking at the ceiling he closed his eyes, slowly falling asleep.

...

"We are here, Mr.Chevalier"

Ryan suddenly opened his eyes, he was inside of a carriage, he had apparently just been woken up from a nap, Ryan looked outside of the carriage, seeing how the snow slowly fell around the place, he slowly walked outside of the carriage and walked to the front seeing the two horses that pulled the carriage and also seeing the woman who drove said carriage.

"I'm sorry, but this is the closest I can leave you at, those damn Ice Spirits get hostile with whoever gets close." The woman apologized frowning a bit.

"No...no need to applogize miss, thank you for bringing me here" he smiled a bit towards the woman.

"You're welcome Mr.Chevalier, be careful with those spirits..."

Ryan simply looked in silence how the woman slowly made the carriage turn around and go away, he looked to the north, seeing a long road covered in snow, with a big city on the distance, he let out a small groan and grabbed his head.

"What...was I doing here?"

"Go to the Ice Spirit village and negotiate with them." A faint memory resonated in his head making him nod.

"Right...the Ice Spirits had started to attack the nearby human villages...the Emperor sent me to negotiate with them..."

With a small frown he shook his head and rested his left arm on the katana stripped to his left hip, he slowly started to walk towards the city on the distance...

"Halt! State your business, Human!"

Ryan looked upwards as soon as he reached the gates of the city, seeing two persons standing on top of the walls that surrounded the place, he frowned a bit, seeing how they already had their weapons drawn, but then sighed and spoke rising his voice.

"I come in Behalf of the Emperor of Shion Island, I've come to speak with your queen!"

The two guards looked at each other for a moment before yelling at someone on the other side of the wall, the gates slowly were pulled up allowing Ryan to slowly enter the city.

He stopped when two guards stood in front of him, looking seriously at him and also with a small aura of hostility directed towards him.

"We'll be escorting you to put Queen's home, stay close and don't do anything suspicious or we'll take it as an attack"

As both of them started to walk, Ryan slowly followed them, making sure to stay close enough for them to regularly check on him, he looked around seeing the people around the city, some of them giving looks towards him, he saw a few kids playing around, a few adults managing small shops, selling fruit, meat, and other foods and drinks.

After a few minutes, Ryan looked up at the mansion in front of him, he expected a big castle...but it seemed that the Queen of the Ice Spirits was more fond of big houses, he let out a nervous sigh and saw the gates around the mansion opening.

"Don't...do anything reckless, just keep your cool, act professional....you're not here to see her, you're here to negotiate...please... don't mess this up ..."

Ryan closed his eyes for a few seconds but he received a small bump of a guard, he sighed and looking at the mansion...he slowly started to walk towards it.

...

Rtan opened his eyes again, this time seeing the ceiling of the room he had been sleeping in, he sat on the bed and held his head with his hand, the pain from hearing Cocolia's guilt in his mind had already disappeared, he looked to the side, seeing how his phone was reproducing the sound of bells again and again as it showed the correct hour.

"This alarm thing is...useful, I guess..."

Groaning a bit he turned off the alarm and checked the hour, it was still pretty early, his companions probablt hadn't even woke up yet, he stood up from the bed and went to the door opening it slowly, he poked his head out of the room not seeing anyone in the hall, Dan Heng did say they were going to be taking turns to watch across the night...they were probably outside, so he walked out of his room, closing the door and walking across the hall to get out of the Hotel.

"I feel slightly better now... sleeping did do the trick...at least it wasn't a nightmare this time"

With a sigh, he walked out of the hotel, looking around trying to see if any of his companions were outside...but nothing.

"Did they fall asleep and forgot about taking turns? If it was Stelle I would understand it but the others?"

This time he felt a bit concerned, Dan Heng and March 7th were trailblazers, which meant that they probably were already used to this sort of thing, and Bronya was a commander, surely it wasn't her first time taking watches in the middle of the night...Stelle would be the only one to mess up and fall asleep at some point but the racoon girl could be serious enough to not do it.

"What if something happened? I don't think all of them had left leaving me here at the Hotel..."

He started to slowly walked around Boulder City, eventually, he reached Natasha's clinic, being able to hear some people inside of the clinic he opened the door and entered, seeing the doctor walking from side to side, treating some people.

"Those are miners...did they had problems while mining somewhere else?" He thought looking at the various miners wounded on the beds. "Natasha!"

"Ryan? Sorry, I can't right now" she stopped to look at him but quickly went to a miner and started to carefully bandage one of his arms. "A lot of miners came from one of the secondary mines, Vagrants attacked them"

Ryan frowned a bit at the woman's words, he looked around the clinic, seeing that she had little to no resources, she had almost run out of bandages, and also she didn't seem to have any of those pills she had before.

"Do you need help? I regained some energy so I can heal some of them." He offered as he approached the woman who looked at him and let out a small sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Ryan...please stabilize the ones who are the most wounded, Seele, Bronya and Stelle went to get me more suplies, they should be here in a few minutee." The woman spoke as she walked quickly towards another bed.

"I see...so that's what happened."

He obeyed Natasha's command and quickly started to go and help those who had the worse wounds, making sure to heal them enough to stabilize them and not overdo it so he could heal the others too.

"Some wounds seem fatal... Miss Natasha fortunately managed to delay their deaths, she probably expected to make them hold on until the Seele, Bronya and Stelle arrived here with the supplies...things really seem bad down here uh?..."

"I can't let people die..."

Ryan slowly turned around, seeing Natasha bandaging the arm of a miner with a small frown, she seemed stressed, and of course, the voice that he had just heard inside of his head was hers...without healing magic, dealing with mortal wounds is surely much more harder...he wouldn't be surprised if Natasha had lost patients before.

He looked down, seeing how the magic from his hands stopped glowing...he had ran out of magic, but at least none of them seemed to be in the verge of death anymore, he slowly walked towards Natasha, who seemed to be having trouble due to the lack of resources.

"Miss Natasha, I managed to stabilize everyone, but I ran out of energy again..."

"Don't worry Ryan, thanks to you I'll be able to save all of them...thank you, sorry to make you help me again." She bowed her head a bit but Ryan shook his head.

"I decided to help...is there something else I can do?" He asked

"...do you have any basic knowledge of medicine?"

"...I can...bandage people..." He looked a bit embarrassed to the woman.

"Good enough, grab the remaining bandages, stop any serious bleeding, if there's a problem tell me and I'll help."

"Understood, Miss Natasha" with a little smile he quickly went to grab some bandages.

After a few minutes...

Stelle, accompanied by Bronya and Seele approached the clinic, bags on their hands, Stelle opened the door and entered with the other two girls behind her.

"Nat! We're back, we brought everything we found" Seele spoke as she entered into the clinic.

"Seele, good, let me see" Natasha smiled and approached the three girls checking the supplies. "Metal plates, gauze bandages, painkillers, rubbing alcohol...yes, this will be enough..." She looked at the painkillers a bit confused. "I thought there would be more painkillers...did someone break into the storage room?"

"We found Clara there...we gave some of them to her." Stelle explained and Natasha nodded her head.

"If she was there...then I understand, she wants to look after the Injured Vagrants" she smiled a bit. "Ryan!"

"Yes Miss Natasha?" He asked approaching quickly and looking at the other three.

Ryan now had the sleeves of his Kimono folded on his arms, his hands and forearms had some blood from treating the wounded ones, but he was also cleaning said arms and hands with a small towel.

"Ryan? What are you doing here?" Stelle asked a bit curious.

"I'm helping Natasha with the wounded" he explained and then the doctor spoke.

"They brought everything we needed, I'll handle everything from here on, you can go with them" Natasha smiled warmly towards Ryan who looked a bit concerned.

"Are you sure? I can still help around here..."

"I'm sure Ryan, none of them is in danger of losing their lives, besides, all of you have to go and speak with Chief Oleg" she explained and Ryan let out a small sigh.

"Fine...but if you need help, you can tell me, Miss Natasha" Ryan sighed bit as he finished cleaning his hands and offered the small towel to her.

"Of course Ryan, thanks for all your help" she smiled as she grabbed the towel.

"Sorry for leaving you all the wounded, Nat" Seele let out a small sigh but the woman shook her head.

"Don't apologize, thanks to Ryan, things didn't escalate as much as they could have...now go, don't keep Chief Oleg waiting."

"Bye Natasha" Stelle smiled a bit and then walked out of the clinic.

Ryan and Bronya quickly followed the racoon girl, probably to make sure she didn't get herself into a trashcan as soon as she set foot outside, Seele looked towards the woman smiling a bit.

"Have you grown fond of him?" She asked with a small teasing tone.

Natasha simply let out a small laugh. "He reminds me a bit of my brother...I had to teach him some stuff but he learns quick...he's a good boy." She spoke softly as she grabbed the supplies and walked towards her patients.

"A good boy uh?..." She looked to the woman and muttered. "A weird one too..."

Without saying anything else she walked out of the clinic, the group of four walked together to the Goethe Grand Hotel, seeing March, Dan Heng and Oleg at the entrance, as soon as they approached, March let out a sigh of relief.

"Good, you're finally back." March smiled towards the group.

"Sorry for the unannounced disappearance." Stelle smiled a bit nervously.

"Don't worry, you're fine, that's what matters." Dan Heng nodded with his head and looked towards Ryan. "Did you sleep?"

"Yes...I did, don't worry Dan Heng." He smiled towards him and Dan Heng nodded with his head.

Oleg smiled a bit. "Good, now that we're all together, let's continue our previous conversation"

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A/N: That's today's chapter!

Sorry for updating late, I've been a bit busy, but I think I should be able to keep updating more regularly.

Anyways, Hope you enjoyed!