He Who Feels Guilt [Honkai: Star Rail]

Narrator's Pov

"Himeko! How did you get here before us?" March saw the woman a bit impressed.

"I happened to be close to the elevator when it was activated, I came here and started to talk with Asta." She explained and then looked towards Arlan "Asta has been worried sick about you, Arlan, I think you should go and talk to her."

"Yeah...I think I'll go and inform to her everything that happened" he spoke and then looked to the other four. "Thanks to all of you for bringing me here..."

"No need to thank us~ now go and let Asta know you're okay" March gave a few pats to Arlan's shoulder.

"Yes, bye" he nodded with his head and then slowly walked away.

"And who is this?" Himeko spoke a bit curious while looking at Stelle.

"My name is Stelle...it's a pleasure, Himeko"

"It's nice to meet you Stelle, I hope March hasn't been a bother." The woman smiled a bit.

"Be careful on how you respond" March deadpanned.

"I invoke the 5th" Stelle replied immediately

"Acceptable choice" March smiled cutely while Himeko laughed a bit.

Thw woman looked towards Ryan's left arm and frowned a bit. "I'm sorry Ryan...you were supposed to come here to get help but instead you got dragged into all of this..."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Miss Himeko, it's nothing I'm not used to..." He smiled a bit nervously to the woman.

"I'm a bit worried though..." Dan Heng started as he rubbed his chin. "Why didn't the space station send us a distress call?"

"They did..." Himeko replied and rubbed her forehead. "Asta sent us a distress call, but she said that an unknown energy wave stopped the signal from reaching us."

"An...unknown energy wave?" March tilted her head to the side.

"Yes...Asta sent the distress call and according to the hour she sent it at...it was just as Ryan woke up."

"Please don't tell me that my magic deflected that thing..." Ryan simply kept silent

"I...have an idea of what could've caused it" she gave a small glance towards Ryan and he simply looked to the other side. "But it doesn't matter, we are here already, so let's forget about that, let's go, Asta would like to speak with you."

As Himeko started to walk, the other 4 started to slowly follow her, Dan Heng silently looked towards Ryan, having now a few more question because of the sudden change he had witnessed before Himeko helped them before they entered the elevator.

"Asta! We are back!" March smiled as she approached Asta.

"Oh...it's good see you're all okay, Arlan just told me about what happened in the storage zone...thank you all for helping" Asta smiled a bit to them.

"No need to thank us, Asta" Dan Heng nodded with his head a bit. "How is the situation?"

"For now everything is under control, but we can't rest yet, specially with the state of the researchers...most of them are fine but...they are starting to get paranoid." Her voice turned into a more worried one.

"A broken mind and spirit is more dangerous than a broken body." Ryan spoke and sighed a bit.

"That's right...we need to go talk with the researchers and try to calm them down." Himeko spoke and the others nodded.

"Miss Asta...there are researchers that didn't make it, right?" Ryan asked and the other kept silent.

"...yes, some of them weren't able to make it to a safe zone..." Asta's expression saddened and Ryan nodded with his head.

"I'll go talk to Arlan" was the simple words he said before slowly walking away.

"Who...is he? I haven't seen him before with any of you" Asta asked to Himeko.

"He's our guest...we found him yesterday, and he's...also the reason why the distress call couldn't reach us, but don't let him know that, I'm sure he'll blame himself for us not getting here sooner." Himeko sighed deeply and then looked at Ryan who was walking to Arlan. "Maybe he's the right person to speak to Arlan."

As the others separated to speak with the different researchers to calm them down, Ryan walked to Arlan, that was currently resting, sitting on a box with a small dog on his lap, Ryan slowly walked to him and sat besides him, gaining the stare of Arlan and the small dog.

"How...are you feeling, Arlan?"

"I'm good, the pain is nothing, I'll get better in no time."

"I didn't mean your wounds, Arlan"

"Oh..."

"Asta told me that some researchers didn't make it" he spoke softly not looking directly at Arlan.

"No..they didn't" he closes eyes and started to slowly pet Peppy. "If only I...had gotten to the Antimatter Legion sooner..."

Ryan looked to Arlan and softly sighed. "I...don't think is my place to say this but...I understand how you feel"

"You do?"

"Kind of...when I was in my home, I had to protect a lot of people...much more than the ones that are here in this station...I wasn't alone but sometimes I...felt that I had to protect everyone by myself, that I had to be the only one sacrificing something...one day I had to kill a giant serpent alongside my friends...but I went alone to fight that serpent, it had...conscience, he wasn't always a monster and I thought I could save him and turn him into a human again...I was wrong, and during our fight, we ended up reaching a village...more than half of the population died, and the lands of that village where destroyed and poisoned by the serpent's venom...the ones who survived couldn't even bury those who died..." Ryan spoke in a soft tone, he drove a hand to his forehead and frowned a bit before sighing. "Only after seeing so many innocent people die...I decided that I couldn't save that serpent...so I killed him...it was so easy...and yet I made it so difficult..."

"You're not very good at pep talk uh? Our cases were very different..." Arlan sighed heavily listening to Ryan's story.

"Sorry, I got carried away...the point is...I understand what it is to lose people you're supposed to protect, so you can believe me when I tell you, that sometimes there's people that we can't help, people who...are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and there's nothing we can do about it."

"You're telling me...that I shouldn't feel bad for those who I couldn't save?" He asked with a small frown.

"On the contrary...care for them, feel guilty...it wasn't your fault, but that doesn't mean you should care less or feel better, maybe those who died can't come back...but that shouldn't stop you from trying again and again to save everyone" Ryan slowly stood up from besides Arlan and gave a few headpats to Peppy. "You don't know who you can save until you try...remember that, Arlan"

After saying that, Ryan slowly turned around and walked away, whole Arlan looked at him and then glanced down at Peppy, he sighed but then gave a small smile as he kept petting the small dog.

"Fine...I'll keep doing my best."

Ryan got to hear Arlan's words and he smiled a bit, walking towards Asta seeing her checking some information on the holographic screen in front of her.

"Miss Asta" He called out softly getting the girl's attention.

"Oh, you're... Ryan" he turned around looking at the boy. "Himeko told me about your situation, sorry...we can't help you right now because of the Antimatter Legion, but we can patch up your arm"

He looked at his still wounded arm but then shook his head. "No need for that, it's nothing it'll get better eventually."

Asta sighed heavily and drove a hand to her head. "You're just like Arlan...not taking care of himself."

"Sorry..." He smiled a bit nervously. "I spoke with Arlan, he's doing better."

"That's good...I know he didn't want to leave anyone behind, but I'm still a bit upset at him not following my orders and insist in search the storage zone even if everyone had already evacuated..." She rubbed her forehead but then shook her head. "I guess I should be glad that you four found him."

"Is there something I can do to help? I can go outside and clean up the Antimatter Legion member who are remaining."

"No I can't ask you to do that...it'd be to dangerous and you're already wounded" she gave a deep sigh and then looked again to the holographic screen.

"Where's the owner of this station? Her name is Herta, right?"

"Yes...Madam Herta is the owner of this station and of where she is? If only I knew...I already sent her various messages to let her know of the situation, but still nothing from her." She frowned a bit but then calmed herself. "She's a member of the genius society...but she only pays attention to what interests her, if she loses interest in this station, then she might as well never come back."

"She sounds...hard to deal with."

"Not always...she is easy to deal with sometimes but others...ugh, anyways, I think you should rest for now, Ryan."

"Hmmm...yes I will, bye, Asta."

Ryan turned around and walked away, he walked towards one of the benches and sat on it, he looked around, seeing the member of the Express alongside Stelle speaking with various researchers to calm them down, he sighed deeply and closed his eyes...trying to reach out to someone.

"Hey, I know you're watching, you always are...if you could talk to me I'd appreciate it, I need some help right here..."

No one responded.

"I know you need me Alive...replenish my magic and energy and I won't slit my throat after I'm done here"

Still no answer.

"As soon as you give me what I want, I'll go and kill that Antimatter Legion, isn't that what you need? For me to kill? Answer."

Only receiving silence as an answer, he sighed with some irritation and rubbed his forehead, he felt a small chill and looked through the huge window, seeing a white dragon-like being flying outside of the spacion, an alarm started to fill the room as multiple red screens with warning appeared on Asta's screen, he stood up and walked towards Asta, seeing the other members of the Express and Stelle alongside her.

"I didn't know the station had a dragon" Ryan spoke looking at them and Asta quickly responded

"It doesn't" a big screen opens showing that same dragon-like monster slowly piercing the shield of the station with one of his hands. "That's the Doomsday Beast, one of the Antimatter Legion, take the Express and leave, I'll stay."

"But..." March was about to say something but Himeko quickly stopped her.

"Let's go." Without saying anything else, she started to run and one by one the others followed, Ryan stood in silence looking at Asta.

"Asta..."

"Ryan, go"

"We will kill that thing." He spoke and then turned around leaving alongside the others.

They left the main control zone using the elevator and then started to run, they had to reach the Express on the railway where they had left it.

"What is that Dragon thing anyways? It's the Antimatter Legion's commander or something?" Ryan asked as he an alongside the others.

"Something like that" Dan Heng responded "it's the Antimatter Legion planet destroyer, I don't think we can handle it."

"But we can't just leave like this...right?" March spoke clearly worried about the well-being of everyone in the station.

"As long as a Lord Ravager doesn't appear, then we'll be fine, trust me" Himeko spoke. "We need to leave and take Stelle with us."

"Am I important?" Stelle asked a bit confused and Himeko replied.

"You are the one that can help us turn the tides...of course, I may be wrong."

"Are we sure we can handle the Doomsday Beast?" Dan Heng asked.

"Welt said he'd be joining us, so there shouldn't be a problem."

"Mr.Yang is coming too? Didn't he stay in the Express?"

"He learnt about what happened, we have to go and join him."

"Antimatter Legion ahead."

A pair of Reaver's an a distorter were in the way, so they quickly got ready to deal with them.

"Move"

A white blur zoomed past them, Ryan tackled the distorter and grabbed its head with his left hand, on his right hand, an ethereal Katana appeared and with a swift movement he decapitated it, the two Reaver's pounced at Ryan but he quickly dodged the first one and grabbed it by the shoulder using it as a shield to block the blades of the second Reaver, then he quickly zoomed around them, using the katana to cut both of their torsos at the same time, splitting both in half.

The three bodies quickly disappeared and Ryan looked towards the others letting the katana disappear from his hand.

"C'mon, we can't lose time" he spoke and started to run.

"Something...changed" Himeko frowned a bit but still ran following him alongside the others.

They quickly reached the railway after a few minutes, but the Express was nowhere to be seen.

"The Express isn't here?" March looked around confused.

"Welt must have moved it to keep it safe from the Doomsday Beast, we'll have to wait for him to come back" Himeko spoke but looked up. "It's here..."

The Doomsday Beast flew outside of the station, looking at the monster, March quickly grabbed her bow and prepared to shoot and arrow at the dragon-like monster.

"Hey! Get down here!"

"Everyone! Be careful!" Himeko warned.

The Doomsday Beast landed on the edge of the railway platform and let out a loud roar...

The Doomsday Beast quickly sweeped at them 5 of them with one of its hand, but everyone jumped out of the way barely dodging it, Dan Heng was the first one to move, running to the hand that they just dodged and quickly gave it a few slashes before piercing the hand with his spear grabbing tightly onto it.

The dragon-like monster raised up the hand that had Dan Heng on it and moved it, making the boy click his tongue and pull the spear out landing alongside the others.

March backed away a bit and started to shoot a few arrows to the Doomsday Beast, Stelle and Ryan ran towards him, avoiding the white hand of the monster, looking to attack directly at the core that was on its chest.

When they reached the core, Stelle jumped, her baseball bat glowed brightly and gave the core a hard hit, causing a small exllosiong makingt he core shake a bit, Ryan quickly summoned a sword and gave a few cute on the core, before leaping backwards summoning 3 floating swords that flew and pierced the core, Stelle and Ryan were about to continue attacking but they had to back away to dodge the black hand of the Doomsday Beast that attempted to smash them against the ground.

Himeko quickly ran with the briefcase in hand, one of its side opened and a buzzsaw came out with a quick move she hit the white hand of the Doomsday hand multiple times and then she put the briefcase close to the hand, a burst of fire burnt the hand and also made her back away a bit because of the force.

The dragon-like monster roared and threw a its black hand towards Dan Heng that simply dodged rolling to the side, he had to use the spear to block since that same hand sweeped at him, the force made him fly away a bit, but when he recomposed he quickly gave some stabs to the hand before the Doomsday Beast pulled it away.

March grunted a bit with some effort and charged a glowing arrow on the bow, she shoot it directly towards the core, in the middle of the air, the arrow shattered into small Ice bunnies that hit the core freezing it almost completely.

The Doomsday Beast flung the white hand at March 7th but Dan Heng quickly ran and hugged the girl dodged alongside her making the hand miss them, the Black hand was about to fall on them but Stelle jumped and hit the hand pushing it away.

Both Dan Heng and March for up and looked at the Doomsday Beast that slowly spread open its wings and flew a bit away, multiple golden lights appeared around it and then the core lightened, shooting various lasers towards the group.

Ryan quickly opened his hands pointing them towards the Doomsday Beast and multiple layers of magic circles appeared in front of the 5 of them, the circles started to block the various lasers but they slowly started to crack a bit, Ryan clicked his tongue, feeling how his magic depleted more and more with each strike he blocked with the magic circles, the attack finished and Ryan made the magic circles disappear as he fell on one knee.

"Fine, you win, I'll give you a BIT of magic and energy"

"Ugh...about time"

"What was that? My dear Ace?"

"Nothing..."

The Doomsday Beast landed again on the edge of the railway platform and the others quickly got close, March immediately going to check on Ryan as the others dealt with the Doomsday Beast.

"Ryan! Are you okay?" Her voice sounded clearly worried.

"Yes, I'm fine, in fact, I'm better than before..."

He grabbed his left arm with his right and dumped healing magic on himself, all the wounds in his arm completely healed and he quickly stood up, March was about to say something but Ryan quickly ran towards the Doomsday Beast.

Dan Heng slid under the white hand and threw his spear at the still slightly frozen core, making the spear pierce the other wall of the core, Stelle quickly ran the core with her baseball bat glowing, the Doomsday Beast threw both hands at her, but one of them was stopped thanks to Himeko, that deflected it using the buzzsaw of her weapon, while Ryan zoomed to the other one and summoning a sword in his left hand, he gave 2 quick slashes splitting the hand in 4 pieces.

Stelle reached the core and gave Dan Heng's spear a hard strike, making the weapon sunk deeper into the core, almost piercing it completely, the Doomsday Beast roared and his body leaned slightly backwards apparently defeated Stelle pulled Dan Heng's spear out of the core and tossed it back at him.

"I think it's dead" Stelle spoke and March immediately replied.

"Stelle! Don't jinx it!"

Almost immediately, the Doomsday Beast flung forwards and shoot an energy ray from its mouth directly at March, but Stelle quickly put herself in front of her.

Stelle's body shielded March, the energy ray seemed to split when hitting the grey haired girl as she grunted a bit, her chest started to glow forming a shield in front of her, Ryan and the others tried to get close but the force of the attack from the Doomsday Beast pushed them back.

Stelle let out a scream as an energy wave came out from her, pushing the attack of the Doomsday Beast backwards and striking it directly making go completely limp.

The Glow in Stelle's chest continued to expand, slowly lifting her up from the ground as the others watched not knowing what to do...

A cane hit Stelle on the forehead softly, making the glow on the girl's body instantly disappear, she slowly fell onto the ground, but March quickly grabbed her... Welt fell on the ground on his feet now standing in front of them, as the Express slowly arrived at the railway.

"Mr.Yang! Is she..." March looked at Welt that simply pushed his glasses up.

"She's okay now...let's talk somewhere else."

★ ★ ★

A/N: I feel like I'm somehow making chapters longer and longer, but anyways, that's today's chapter, I felt like the fight against the Doomsday Beast was a bit dry, but I always have problems writing fights against big monsters...

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed!