Homestar Saga

"Scargiver, this is Scathach." The Warmaster's voice came out of the Captain's wrist console. The wrist console looked the same as the ones they'd used in the Confederation, but it had been extensively modified to prevent anyone from hacking into it.

"Scathach, Mims." Captain Mims kept walking. They were almost to the bridge of the Encounter. "Go ahead."

"The Klaath are here."

"We know." Mims slapped a control panel. The door to the bridge slipped open. "The Federation called them, somehow."

"We saw the energy surge," the Warmaster informed him, "and we saw you disable the human ship. Do you intend to take up the hunt?"

The Oluken had roughly ten thousand Military ships in Tendril Sector. They were oddly designed, with glowing lines that shifted in strange patterns across their oblong hulls. Long metal tentacles sprouted from the ships, each tipped with some variety of energy cannon. Ten thousand ships was plenty for keeping order in a trading sector, but Yvian doubted it was enough to repel an Incursion.

"Hell yes," The Captain walked past the holodisplay, heading for the consoles at the far end of the bridge. "I never pass up an opportunity to kill the Klaath."

"I thought as much." The Warmaster grunted. "Have your Queenships protect the Gates. My Hunters will secure the stations. I've called reinforcements, and they will be here shortly." He gave a short, annoyed growl. "Someone will have to speak with the Oluken before they soil themselves."

Mims pointed at Lissa as he took a seat in front of the center console. "I'm on it," she acknowledged, taking the console to his left.

"Alert," said Kilroy. "Klaath clusters detected in Aldara sector."

"Of course they are," Mims gritted his teeth. He commed the Warmaster. "Lissa's taking care of the Oluken. We're having," he pointed at Kilroy, "two Queenships jump to each Gate. That should be more than enough."

"Affirmative," Kilroy acknowledged.

"The rest are coming with me," the human continued. "There's another Incursion at Aldara."

"Aldara?" Yvian could hear the Warmaster's raised eyebrows. "If the humans want to throw their planet away, let them."

"I can't do that." Mims took his hand off the comm and pointed at Yvian. "Systems check."

Yvian nodded and took the console to his right. She started a diagnostic routines. Scarrend squatted on his haunches next to her, pulling up a sensor display on his console.

"You can and you should," Scathach disagreed. "The humans are using the Klaath as a diversion. We're bound to defend the Oluken by treaty, but wasting forces on an uninhabited world is foolish."

"I know." Mims pulled up flight control on his console. The Random Encounter was nestled up against the massive hull of the Monster In Paradise. He eased the ship away from the Peacekeeper Queen and raised the shields. "I'm not asking you or the Empire to help. The Peacekeepers and I will be enough."

"Perhaps." The Vrrl allowed. "Unless the humans are dividing our forces in preparation for an attack."

"It's possible." Mims shrugged. "But I think this diversion's for something else. I'll explain later. I've got Klaath to kill."

"Then kill them here," Warmaster Scathach voiced. "Don't let the humans dictate your actions, Scargiver. Protecting their world is an act kindness that will come with a cost."

"This isn't kindness," Mims told him. "It's spite. The Klaath will never have Aldara. Not while I breathe. Can I count on you to take care of things here?"

Yvian's diagnostic programs finished. "All systems green," she reported.

"Foolish." The Warmaster chuffed in resignation. "But I suppose it can't be helped. Go defend your territory human, even if it's not your territory anymore. The Vrrl Starfang Empire will take care of things here."

"Thank you," said Mims.

"Do not thank me, Scargiver," Scathach chided. "The Oluken are of use to the Empire. An attack on them is a challenge to us, and challenges are answered with tooth and claw. We are the Apex."

"Fair enough." Mims pulled up a Nav console and entered the coordinates for Aldara Sector. "May Fortune favor you on the cusp of The Crunch."

The Warmaster grunted. "May your prey be worthy of the hunt." He ended the transmission.

"Our weapon systems are fully functional," Scarrend reported. "Shields are still charging. They will be at full in twenty three minutes."

"We'll go when they're full," said the Captain. "Kilroy, I want two Queenships at every Gate in Aldara. Have Admiral Zhukov send in half a million Stinger units, too. I want half of those protecting the planet. The rest will break off into groups of a thousand and go hunting."

"Big Daddy Mims," Kilroy objected, "we only have eight hundred twenty three thousand and four Peacekeeper Stinger Units. Sending that many to Aldara will greatly reduce the defenses of New Pixa Sector."

"Just do it, Kilroy," Mims ordered. "We've still got forty Queens and millions of convectional ships. If we get hit with more than they can handle, half a million Stingers won't make that much difference anyway."

"Affirmative." Kilroy hesitated. His eyes flashed purple before returning to the red of combat. "Big Daddy Mims, there is no reason for you to go to Aldara yourself. Peacekeeper units will be sufficient."

"No, Kilroy," Lissa disagreed. "We have to go." Yvian nodded her agreement. She knew the man's history, too.

"This ship is a standard Federation built gladiator," the Peacekeeper reminded them. "It will have negligible impact on an Incursion, and is at significant risk of being destroyed."

"I know," the Captain snapped. Kilroy's eyes flashed blue. Mims took a breath. "Sorry, Kilroy. I know the Encounter's not built for this. I know the Peacekeepers can handle this better than I can." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It's Aldara. The last time the Klaath came there I... I can't leave it alone. I have to go. I have to make sure they can't take anything else."

The machine left his console, eyes still blue. He walked over to Mims and put a hand on his shoulder. "This unit understands." He returned to his station, eyes flicking back to crimson. "Aldara will be protected. The Klaath will be destroyed. We will be sufficient."

"We will be sufficient," the Captain echoed.

"This is foolish," Scarrend objected. "You are throwing away Peacekeeper lives for sentiment."

"You're not wrong," the human admitted. He tilted his head, thinking. "Though to be fair, we'd probably be sending them anyway. A chance to capture more Klaath Queens is too good to pass up."

"Affirmative," Kilroy agreed.

Yvian pulled up a sensor display. Tendril Sector had a sizeable solar system. Lots of planets, and three hefty asteroid belts. None of the planets were habitable, but there were plenty of resources for mines and manufacturing. The sector doubled as a trading hub, and there were nearly a million stations scattered throughout the system. Most of the stations were unarmed. It was something Yvian had expected growing up in the Confederation, but now that she'd seen more of the galaxy unarmed stations struck her as a terrible idea.

Despite the large number of stations, there were only a few hundred thousand ships in the sector. Mostly unarmed Oluken cargo haulers. Yvian assumed anyone who had a jumpdrive had already escaped, leaving the rest of those poor souls to flee to the nearest station and pray that the Elders would drop shields long enough to let them dock. There were also a few hundred ships of the Vrrl Starfang Empire circling a few of the trading posts, gunning down any Klaath that came close. Several dozen vessels of the Pixen Technocracy were doing the same.

Half a million Vrrl capitol ships were dividing into smaller fleets and heading for the stations. The Priderender had already left the formation with an escort of four battlecruisers. More Vrrl were pouring out of each of the Gates, with fighter class Hissiths and Clawwings undocking from battlecruisers and running for the farthest stations at maximum acceleration. None of the Vrrl bothered avoiding the Klaath. Nor did they seek them out. They just moved to their destinations, smashing anything stupid enough to get in their way.

There were roughly fifty thousand Klaath Klusters so far, but more were appearing every second. Each Kluster was a sphere, made up of twenty Raiders grouped around a single Klaath Fighter and fused together. Most of them would drift aimlessly through the void until they came within a few hundred kilometers of a ship or a station. Then the Klusters would erupt, the ships separating and zooming in for the kill. Other Klusters gathered together, forming circles of spinning ships. Space rippled within the circles, opening portals to allow Corvettes, Frigates, and the dreaded Destroyers into the sector.

Two Peacekeeper Queenships were coming out of Tendril Sector's East, South, and North Gates. The Queens would take half an hour to exit the Gates completely, but that didn't stop them from putting their beam weapons to devastating use. The Queens concentrated their fire on the Klaath nearest the Gates. The Klaath didn't use Jumpgates, and destroying the Gates would be the first thing they tried. A few thousand Stinger units detached themselves from each of the Queens, switching their diffused anti-MAC weapons back to traditional long range beam cannons. They would circle around behind the Gates and kill any Klaath attacking from that direction.

The Monster in Paradise and one other Queenship stayed where they were, about two hundred thousand kilometers from the West Gate. Their Stinger units were launching as well. The Random Encounter idled within the Monster's shield bubble, staying protected until its own shields were charged.

The Oluken Military were doing what they could, where they could. All their ships were roughly frigate sized, about two thirds of a kilometer in length. They were fast, almost as fast as a Federation ship, and their shields were much stronger than Yvian expected. Their weapons were less impressive. Each ship had thirty two metal tentacles with cannons on the end, but they packed less punch then Confederation guns, far less than the humans and the Vrrl. The Random Encounter had more firepower, and it was just a fighter. The Oluken had been patrolling in groups of eight, and they were desperately trying to link up with each other or the Vrrl before the Klaath overwhelmed them.

Yvian moved to access the sensor reports of Aldara Sector, but a question from Scarrend interrupted her. "Shouldn't we be sending someone after the spy?"

"In the middle of all this?" Lissa gestured at the sensor display.

"We don't have to hunt her down ourselves," Scarrend pointed out. "A few dozen Peacekeeper units would be more than enough."

"There's no point," said the Captain. "The Peacekeepers let Myrsa get away on purpose."

"They did?" Yvian frowned at the machine.

"Think about it," said Mims. "A Peacekeeper unit's a walking lie detector. Do you really think they didn't know Myrsa was a spy? Or that she wasn't being monitored? There's no way she got to an unattended ship without them knowing."

"Affirmative," Kilroy agreed. "Peacekeeper units had to manufacture an emergency to explain why Myrsa Trin was unattended. The riots provided excellent cover."

"Ok, but... why?" Yvian frowned harder. "Why let her get away? Why let a spy work with Lissa at all?"

"I've got a better question." Lissa's tone was frosty. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"That was my call," said Mims. "You're an amazing person, Lissa, and I love you dearly, but you're not cut out for spycraft."

Lissa regarded the human with a glare so furious Yvian could see it through her helmet. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Mims returned her look with the seriousness it was due. "Lissa. If you knew Myrsa was a spy, would you have still made friends with her?"

"What? No!" The glare receded. "I wouldn't have let her work for me at all."

"Exactly," said the human. "It's standard practice to keep track of known spies. If our enemies have a spy in place they're less likely to try sneaking in another one, and it lets us feed false intel and uncover other spies. It's good spycraft, but it only works if they don't know their cover's blown. You're smart, beautiful, and a born leader, but you don't have it in you to pretend to be someone's friend when you're not. Not for long, at least. If we told you about Myrsa, she'd know you were on to her within a day."

"That's..." Lissa started. "I could... No." She sighed. "You're right. I don't have to like it, though."

"Intelligence is a dirty business," said the Captain. "No one likes it."

"Ok, but why'd we let her go?" Yvian came back to the matter at hand. "Why give the humans their spy back?"

"Good question," said Mims. "Kilroy?"

"Myrsa Trin has gathered extensive intelligence on our capabilities," Kilroy answered. "The information she has acquired implies that we are considerably more powerful and dangerous than we actually are. This will increase the likelihood the meatbags will surrender. More importantly, Myrsa Trin will give the humans access to a Lucendian crystal implant."

"What good will that do them?" asked Scarrend. "The only Lucendian ship outside of New Pixa is the child yoked to their anti-tech ship, and that specimen is too small and weak for the humans to pilot."

"Negative," said the machine. "There is one other Lucendian vessel outside of our custody. A vessel with the same capabilities as the fallen Skygem."

Another Skygem? Oh. Oh, Bright Lady. "Blingy," Yvian breathed. She'd handed the ship to the Xill shortly after getting her implant. She'd known the ship was alive. She hadn't realized just how sapient the crystal ships were, but she'd known she was alive. She'd known, and she handed her over anyway. Condemned Blingy to torture and experimentation at the hands of the machines. It might be the worst thing she'd ever done. "You're talking about Blingy."

"Affirmative," Kilroy confirmed. "The ship known as Blingy is still in the custody of the Xill. Specifically, the ship is located at Hub 14, under Reba's control. It is not possible for Peacekeeper units to retrieve the vessel without provoking a war with the Xill. Nor is it likely Exodus the Genocide can convince Consensus to return the ship to us if they succeed in defeating Reba."

"But Reba might give the ship to the humans," Yvian guessed.

"Especially if it'll help screw us over," Lissa added.

"Affirmative," said Kilroy. "Without a functioning Lucendian vessel, the Pixen Technocracy has no way to counter the Vore when they return. We cannot retrieve Blingy from the Xill, so we must take Blingy from the humans."

"A dangerous play," Scarrend remarked. "I have seen what these ships are capable of. If the humans have one when we do not..."

"They might be able to win," said Lissa. "And they know it. Why else would they do..." she gestured at her sensor display. "All this?"

"It's a big risk," Mims agreed. "But I think it's one worth taking. Good work, Kilroy. Tell the other units I'm impressed." He glowered down at his console. "I just wish... What the hell?"

Yvian checked her own display. The Klaath were leaving. Fast. Klusters circled up, opening portals to take the bigger ships out of the system. Those Klusters not forming portals disappeared, going back to wherever they came from. Raiders and Fighters still mindlessly shot at whatever targets they'd found, but the rest of the Klaath were leaving. In a few more minutes they'd all be gone.

"I've never heard of the Klaath just leaving." Yvian could hear Lissa's frown.

"We've never seen an Incursion without a habitable planet either," said Scarrend. "Maybe they figured out there's nothing here but gas giants and barren rocks."

"We get Klusters in uninhabited sectors all the time," said Mims. "Usually just a couple, but I saw a couple thousand pop in at Trinog Sector a few years back. They don't leave. They just float around until the bastards starve to death or someone kills them."

"Big Daddy Mims," Kilroy spoke up. "The Klaath are leaving Aldara Sector as well."

"What the hell?" Mims repeated himself. He typed into his console. Yvian followed his example, pulling up the sensor feed being relayed from the ships in Aldara Sector. It was just as the Peacekeeper said. The Klaath were leaving.

"Strange," Scarrend remarked, "but I suppose we shouldn't complain when a problem solves itself."

"No." The Captain's shoulders were taught. "It can't be that easy. Not with the Klaath." He was silent for a moment, head bowed, breathing slowly. His shoulders relaxed slightly, and he raised his head. "Kilroy, I want everything we can spare at Aldara. Right now."

"What do you mean everything?" Lissa asked.

"I mean fucking everything." The Captain was grim. "Every ship, every weapon platform, every fucking gun Zhukov can spare."

"Are you experiencing a hunch, Big Daddy Mims?" A tinge of purple crept into the red of Kilroy's eyes.

It was another scary thing about the humans. Premonitions. Hunches. Mims claimed there was nothing supernatural about it. Just his subconscious processing information, a benefit born of experience and the brain's tendency towards pattern recognition. Yvian wasn't sure it was that simple, but she did know one thing. When the Captain had a bad feeling, things tended to go very bad, very quickly.

"I don't know. Could be PTSD." Mims clenched his fists. "But better safe than sorry."