How To Ruin A Love Comedy

Chapter 32: The Invitation

“Alright! Today’s the day I’ll finally teach you the art of handling the

Shinai!”

You’re always so cheerful, aren’t you?

I wish you’d tone it down when we’re ‘sparring’ though.

“The art of handling the Shinai? I thought you said we couldn’t touch the

Shinai until we learned the proper etiquette?”

“I heard that from the coach too, but the other first-year students are

already learning the techniques and stances, even the initial moves. If you

fall behind, it’s going to be tough for you later on. So, I thought I’d teach

you in secret.”

Chinami...! How can you be so kind?

I’m touched. Should I give you a special reward later?

“Is that really okay? What if we get caught...”

“If we do, the coach might scold us publicly but will probably turn a blind

eye in private. After all, he’d want you to learn from me.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. If the new team members who joined because they wanted to learn

Kendo only get taught how to manage equipment, they’ll lose interest in no

time. The coach did give me a warning, but let’s learn in a place where the

other members can’t see us. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?”

A place where other members can’t see us, huh...

Somehow that sounds a bit risqué.

“Yes, I’m excited.”

“You don’t look it, though?”

At Chinami’s skeptical remark, my facial muscles stretched into an exaggerated

expression of ecstasy.

Chinami flinched at the sight of it and took a half-step back.

“What... What’s with that sinister expression?”

I was just showing you how pleased I am, but you call it sinister? That’s a

bit much.

“I’m happy, okay?”

“Is... that so...?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Hmm... alright then... for now...”

After clearing her throat a few times, she led me to where the bamboo swords

were stored.

“A Shinai isn’t something you use for an extended period of time, like

protective gear. Over time, the bamboo warps and becomes damaged, and in that

case, you must replace it immediately. It’s very dangerous if a splintered

piece gets lodged in someone during sparring. So, consider these Shinais

communal, like consumables.”

“Understood.”

“First, let’s go over the structure of the Shinai. The leather grip encircling

the hilt is called ‘Tsuba.’ Usually, when people say Tsuba, they’re referring

to the hilt, so remember that. And then...”

Chinami started to point at various parts of the bamboo sword, explaining each

element one by one.

Tsuba, Kodachi, Tsuru, Nakayui, Sakigawa, and so on...

Each part had its own name, and there were even different types depending on

the Shinai’s structure.

“Did you memorize all that?”

Chinami’s question came after her meticulous explanation. I nodded hesitantly

before answering.

“I think so.”

Chinami then pointed to the somewhat chubby node at the lower part of the

Shinai’s blade.

“So what’s this part called?”

“That’s the Dojoji.”

“And this leather, and the round thing below it?”

“Nakayui and Kodachi.”

“And this area?”

“The Kakkobu.”

“You did well. We’ll have a test like this every day, so make sure you

memorize it.”

“Yes, Master.”

As I performed a bow typical for a student to a master, Chinami’s eyes widened

in surprise.

“Master? I’m not a master. I’m a fellow club member, just like you.”

“But you’re teaching me, so that makes you my Master, right?”

“Oh ho...”

She let out an admiring “oh ho” before quickly breaking into a satisfied

smile.

She must have liked my attitude.

“I will always trust and follow you, Master.”

“Wow! That spirit... Excellent! I’ll take great care to guide you diligently

from now on! Let’s work on improving your skills swiftly and flawlessly.

Aiming for the Autumn tournament might be a stretch, but we can certainly

target the Winter competition! Alright, let’s head out the back door and start

learning the techniques, shall we?”

Wait, did she take my sugarcoated words seriously?

Still, it’s nice to see her so enthusiastic.

**

“Matsuda-kun, what happened to your hands? They’re really red.”

Miyuki’s concerned question came as we sat in the car. I shrugged my shoulders

before answering.

“The washing machine broke down halfway, so I had no choice but to hand wash.

Washing the uniform in hot water could cause it to fade and shrink, so I had

to use cold water.”

“Really? That must’ve been tough.”

“It’s fine. It’s actually fun when I’m with Nanase-senpai.”

“Nanase? Are you talking about my friend?”

Come to think of it, Miyuki’s friend’s last name was also Nanase.

“I said senpai, didn’t I? She’s a second-year student and also a manager like

me.”

“Oh... I think I’ve heard about her before... But it’s fun?”

“Yeah.”

“How is it fun? Do you guys joke around or something?”

Her tone had a hint of prickliness, a telltale sign of rising jealousy.

This is good, very good.

“Well, you know... It’s hard to explain, we just do stuff.”

“Do you make lewd jokes like you do with me?”

“We’re not that comfortable with each other to that extent.”

Miyuki’s expression returned to normal.

The clear difference in our ranks seems to reassure her, but if she gets

competitive over something this trivial, she’s going to have a tough time when

I stir the pot for a threesome or foursome later on.

“Alright... Just be careful not to make any mistakes.”

I can’t help but snicker at her half-hearted warning.

“Got it. Now, switch to the passenger seat.”

“The passenger seat? Why?”

“Don’t you know it’s courteous for someone to keep the driver company? What,

am I supposed to chauffeur you guys around?”

“How about Tetsuya-kun, then?”

“I don’t let guys sit in the passenger seat.”

My unyielding statement prompts Miyuki to chuckle as she gets out of the car.

She walks around cautiously, opens the door, and buckles her seatbelt in the

passenger seat.

Seeing the taut seatbelt squeezed between her breasts kindles my libido.

Soon it won’t just be a seatbelt I’ll be inserting there.

“Satisfied?”

“Yeah. Shall we set off, leaving Miura behind?”

“You’re joking, right? I won’t take that seriously this time.”

I’m not joking, though.

“Why the heck is he taking so long... What’s he doing, crafting a toilet to

take a dump?”

As I grumble with a displeased expression, Miyuki giggles and places a piece

of candy on the center console.

“Eat this to calm down.”

“What is it?”

“Can’t you tell? It’s candy.”

I unenthusiastically unwrap the candy and pop it into my mouth.

“I want a cookie.”

“Just hold out until tomorrow.”

“If you hadn’t given the cookie you brought today to Miura, we wouldn’t be

having this conversation. Either don’t make them tasty or don’t...”

“I only gave him one, just like you said. Is that really such a big deal?”

“Yes.”

Miyuki shook her head at my terse but heartfelt reply.

“Why are you acting like such a child today and yesterday? It’s really

immature.”

Jealous, yet pretending not to care—how typical of her.

Just as I was trading barbs with Miyuki, the back seat door opened and Tetsuya

hopped in, narrowing his eyes.

“What took you so long, bast-”

“Matsuda-kun.”

Miyuki cut me off, sensing I was about to curse.

I changed my tune, catching her subtle cue.

“Why are you so late?”

“Sorry, sorry... My stomach was really hurting... But why is Miyuki sitting

there?”

Miyuki answered the question.

“It’s only polite to have someone in the front passenger seat. From next week

on, Tetsuya-kun should sit here… Yes, we should take turns every week.”

“Is that so...? Alright.”

Didn’t I say I don’t let guys sit in the front seat? Especially him; that’s a

hard no.

As I started the car, Tetsuya, who had leaned forward between the front seats,

made a suggestion.

“Tomorrow’s the weekend, why don’t we all go somewhere?”

Miyuki glanced at me briefly, then made an awkward face.

“Ah... um... Sorry, I have plans tomorrow.”

“What about in the evening?”

“I think I’ll be busy then too... But let’s go for a walk at night. We haven’t

done that in a while.”

Miyuki, don’t try to dodge the question. Shouldn’t you be honest this time so

that Tetsuya doesn’t get suspicious? What if he sees my car parked at your

place while he’s out?

For me, well, if that happens, I’ll just roll out the red carpet.

But wait, you’re busy even in the evening? Are you planning to spend the late

hours with me?

“That’s a shame. But let’s make sure to go for that walk. Ah, and

Matsuda-kun.”

A disappointed Tetsuya calls out to me.

Seeing his face lifts my mood instantly, and I respond.

“What is it?”

“While taking a break from club activities, I accidentally overheard a

conversation between Renka-senpai and Nanase-senpai... It seemed like

Nanase-senpai thinks very highly of you. At this rate, you’ll likely hear some

good news soon.”

Did the guy have a change of heart while taking a dump? He’s been oddly

helpful today.

Sigh. That’s not the best thing either.

I can’t tell if what he’s saying is intentional or not, but if he keeps

linking me with Chinami, Miyuki is going to get annoyed. Look at her—she

already seems irritated.

“Is that so? Thanks.”

Somewhat grateful, I start the car.

***

Navy blue cotton shirt and beige band slacks.

This should strike the right balance between formality and a casual vibe.

Finishing the ensemble with loafers, I rolled up my shirt sleeves to the

elbows and stepped outside.

‘It’s hot.’

According to Tokiaca, Miyuki’s room doesn’t have air conditioning.

Thankfully, the living room does. I’m not sure if I’ll end up in Miyuki’s room

today, but if I do, I can at least catch a cool breeze in the living room

beforehand.

Avoiding the harsh sunlight, I got into my car and headed straight for

Miyuki’s house.

Just when I was almost there, my phone rang. It was Miyuki.

“Yeah.”

-Where are you?

“I’ll be there in two minutes. Where should I park?”

-Just parallel park in front of my dad’s car.

“Is that okay?”

-Yeah. I asked today. Dad was really surprised to hear you have a car. Want me

to come out and meet you?

“Nah, come out and park the car for me instead.”

-I’ll just stay inside. Hurry up.

With a cheerful voice, Miyuki hung up the phone.

Upon arriving at her house, I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw Miyuki

waiting outside, despite her claim of staying indoors.

Carefully finishing my parallel parking in front of Wateru’s car, I turned off

the ignition and stepped out. Miyuki’s gaze scanned me from head to toe. It

seemed like she approved of my outfit.

“Where are your parents?”

“They’re waiting. But you look tense, Is everything okay? Your face seems a

bit... stiff.”

“It’s my first time being invited for dinner... I’m just a bit nervous.”

At that, Miyuki’s eyes turned into crescents. As if to encourage me, she

lightly patted me on the back.

“You can relax, you know.”

“Don’t tease me like you did at Itsuki. I’ll die.”

“Look who’s talking, Matsuda-kun.”

Playfully teasing me back, she then walked side by side with me towards the

front door. Then, she opened it.

“Welcome, Matsuda-kun.”

“Come on in, Matsuda.”

Standing at the entrance were Midori and Wateru, offering their warm

greetings. Even Kanna was there, waving at me from behind them.

This family’s ‘mommy mikers’ never fails to impress me.

Midori’s chest against my back, Kanna’s laden with oil for a full-body

massage... and finally, Miyuki’s pressed against my face.

The thought of being surrounded by the bosoms of these three women brings me

sheer joy.

Indulging in this delightful fantasy for a moment, I respectfully bowed.

“Hello, it’s been a while since we last met.”

“It’s terribly hot out, isn’t it? Come on in.”

Thank you. But, any chance you’re planning to remove my clothes to ‘cool’ me

down? If so, please put a sleeping pill in Wateru’s drink.

“Yes, please excuse me then.”

Once again offering a polite greeting, I stepped into Miyuki’s home and took

off my shoes.

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