I Became a Childhood Friend With the Villainous Saintess

150 – Mixed Wishes (1)

[Mr. Seong, ■ha■■ don’t ■■■! ■■■ ???p ■ ■■]

[Sirien Illencia]

The news I most did not want to hear was finally delivered.

It felt like all the blood in my body was drying up.

My throat felt like it was burning, so I desperately drank some cold water.

I wish this were a dream.

I hoped I was just having a terrible nightmare and imagining terrible things.

So I wish you would scold me for thinking such nonsense.

As always, come to me and say something with a kind, seemingly indifferent expression.

But this world has always been cruel to me.

Fate always strangled my neck with its long, thin thread, and people used to hide knives behind their backs with smiling faces.

“… … Count Bertus has been killed. Our forces… … ”

It was the same this time too.

The messenger tore at my heart with his merciless language.

I was sick.

It hurt so much, that I didn’t even realize how much it hurt.

But it was hard to breathe.

Suddenly, everything around me felt cumbersome.

I hated all the gazes looking at me so much that I wanted to gouge out all those eyes.

The non-conforming things were chattering and making a lot of noise.

It took a lot of effort to squeeze out the voice.

“Where is Rajen’s body?”

“The Imperial Army sent it to us. However, its condition was not good.”

“Bring Rajen. I need to see it myself.”

“yes.”

Soon, Rajen’s body was brought out on a stretcher.

The traces of battle were clear. It was not hard to imagine them fighting until the very end.

I clenched my hands tightly, feeling like my eyes were about to burst into tears.

I held my thigh so tightly that a little blood came out.

Luckily, my dress was black, so even when I wiped the blood, it didn’t show.

The conference room became noisy in an instant.

Because Rajen was the best sword we had, and the greatest knight in the world.

They started talking nonsense about the future situation and such.

I was annoyed by their voices.

Everyone, just shut your mouths.

Rajen is dead in front of me right now.

The man who was my everything is dead.

Now who do I greet every morning?

What am I going to live for? What on earth am I going to endure this terrible pain for?

Who can you rely on when you feel lonely and having a hard time?

‘What is the meaning of this disgusting and horrible world?’

Rajen is dead, so why on earth are you guys still alive?

You should have died instead of Rajen. You should have given your useless lives!

Even now… … Ah, no. No. Not yet.

My head, which had been spinning like crazy, seemed to be cooling down.

First of all, I wanted to be alone.

I want to spend time alone with Rajen, even if it’s the last.

“Enough. Everyone, get out. We’ll finish the meeting tomorrow morning.”

“But still… … ”

“I told you all to get out! Don’t you think what I’m saying is true?”

Everyone left the conference room at my shouting.

In the empty room, I threw away all my pride and sat down next to Rajen.

I lifted Rajen’s arm very carefully.

He was stiff and cold. It was so cold that I wondered if the man who always stood in front of me could be this cold.

The Rajen I knew was a much warmer and more affectionate person.

It felt like the world was falling apart.

“Razen. Razen… … You said you’d be back. You told me it was okay.”

When I kissed the back of his bloody hand, everything became hateful and resentful.

Tears flowed down my face and my vision became blurry.

It was a little bit fortunate.

Because the Rajen in front of me was so badly injured that just looking at it tore my mind to pieces.

If I kept seeing that kind of Rajen, I would definitely go crazy.

If I go crazy here, I can’t stay with Rajen any longer.

“Liar. You said you would never give up. You said you would never leave me. Rajen. I’m lonely. I’m lonely. I’m so lonely without you. So please wake up… please.”

No matter how much I shouted, Rajen didn’t wake up.

In this room, only the sound of my crying echoed loudly.

I… …knew.

If Rajen hadn’t stepped forward, we would all have been in danger.

My knight was only trying to protect me this time, just as he had done since the hut.

As always.

So I had no right to blame Rajen.

It’s all because I’m incompetent.

Rajen trusted me and left the job to me, but because of my incompetence, I ended up pushing Rajen into a corner.

If that’s true, then it was me who killed Rajen.

I was the most terrible sinner in the world.

She was such an ugly and ugly woman that even if she were torn to pieces a thousand times it wouldn’t be enough.

“I’m sorry… … I’m sorry. If only I hadn’t been here, you would have been happy. If only I had done a little better, you wouldn’t have come back like this.”

There were many wounds on Rajen’s body.

Each and every one of them was a terrifying wound, potentially fatal.

Even with such injuries, Rajen did not let go of his sword and clenched his fists.

No matter how much I tried to spread it, it wouldn’t let go. I was afraid that Rajen would get hurt more, so I eventually had to give up.

In the end, I failed to free Rajen.

Maybe Rajen is still fighting on the battlefield.

You’ll be swinging your sword in a never-ending battlefield.

Even death seemed unable to stop my writing.

Now I understand Henna’s heart.

Life was worse than death. The reason death was called rest was because life was full of nothing but suffering.

The reason Henna followed her brother was probably because she couldn’t bear this pain.

“Ah, ugh. Ahhh… … aaahhh! aaahhh!”

In the end, I couldn’t even say anything humane.

It was because every time words came out of my mouth, some emotion burst out.

The tears that fell from me dripped down and stained Rajen’s body.

I was so horrified by it that I hung my head and laid it on the floor, sobbing.

My stomach was churning and I kept vomiting.

Then a little bit of luck followed me.

A soul, however faint, was felt in Rajen’s body.

“La, Lazen. Lazen… … not yet.”

It felt like I was saved.

I was grateful that I had something to do.

We must let Rajen’s soul rest in peace.

The only thing I could do. I had to give my soul to make Rajen’s afterlife peaceful.

I couldn’t be more grateful that I’m a Saint of Hybras.

Oh, Hybras.

Please let Rajen sleep comfortably.

In my next life, please let me be born in a place where there are no ugly women like me.

Don’t let Rajen’s ankle get caught. Then it would be better to live in a completely different world.

No matter what, I don’t want to see Rajen smiling with another woman.

While I’m at it, please send me to a place that’s much richer and better than this place.

And please let everything Rajen wishes come true there.

‘This is not enough divinity.’

My consciousness grew cold.

This wish has not yet been fulfilled.

They say that it is up to God to decide whether or not a wish will be granted, but in this case, isn’t it impossible to even make a wish?

It was impossible even if I devoted all my soul to the divinity and death I had accumulated over the years.

If that’s the case, then all we have to do is pile up more deaths.

My head started spinning like crazy for the first time in a long time.

It seems like you did well to hold back your murderous thoughts earlier.

They might still be useful.

‘First, let’s change the goal. Let’s kill at least one more of the guys who killed Rajen. Before I die.’

First of all, I removed my survival from my goals.

In a world without Rajen, I wouldn’t have had to live long.

Rather, it would be the opposite.

If I commit suicide now, wouldn’t I be able to leave with Rajen?

I had such thoughts that I wanted to die as soon as possible.

The future ahead. Sustainable war. Occupation and supply.

I started to set fire to the things I didn’t need, burning them out of my head one by one.

Among them were trash like ‘taboo’ and ‘morality’.

I drew a rough sketch and added illusions to surround my allies.

After that, it seemed like a fairly satisfactory plan had been completed.

* * *

The torture chamber of the Pantheon.

Saint Achilles spoke softly.

“That’s unexpected. I thought you were going to commit suicide. I never thought you’d be captured like this.”

“… … .”

“But it is strange. The last time I saw you, your divinity was so overwhelming that it surpassed mine, and now I can find no trace of it.”

The hot soldering iron in his hand made a dull sound as it hit the brazier.

It was obvious what he was going to do next, but it was okay now.

“We are guessing this. Moving the army of the dead was also against the will of Hybras. So he was punished. What do you think? Is it pretty accurate?”

“… … .”

“I won’t answer. Fine. Let’s see how long you can keep your mouth shut.”

Yes. Just as you test me, I have something to test too.

Let’s see how long your happiness can last.

Soon the smell of burning meat spread through the torture chamber.

A coniferous forest appeared before my eyes.

Rajen grabbed my wrist with a nervous expression on his face.

I was so scared and anxious, but I was able to endure it because I had Rajen.

It was the same even then.

It seemed as if I could somehow feel warmth from the bracelet I had received as a gift a long time ago.