I Became a Fake Priest the Saintess Is Obsessed With

9 – Back Alley Wizard

I was only thinking about running from the saint of the Celestial Sect who was trying to convert me, when the goblins attacked, and the saint took them down.

I knew how strong she was and pretended to be concerned. When everyone’s attention was on her, I took off.

To answer why I have a connection with the saint of the Celestial Sect would be a long story.

I returned to the cathedral very late, expecting some sort of reprimand, but Sister Selena simply sent me to the monastery without a word upon seeing my miserable state.

I was exhausted and as soon as I dived onto the bed felt a severe pain.

Once I realized that the ‘temporary’ pain relief provided by the goddess was just that, temporary, I cursed her in my sleeplessness.

Two days after running away from the saint of the Celestial Sect, I was free from the pain, playing quietly in the garden with my pet lizard.

“Come here, Silia~ Let’s play with your brother~”

KWAANG!

“Ah, sh*t! What if you bit my finger off?!”

The creature I am tending to is the first life I’ve saved since my reincarnation.

After taking care of it for 12 years, it’s become enormous, even sprouted wings, and looks very cool. However, its temperament seems to have worsened compared to its youthful days.

Its proper name is Basilisk. I named it so, with a hope it would grow strong, but its temperament seems to have followed the fierceness of its name.

It used to be grateful and obedient to me, but recently, as if it’s reached the rebellious teenager years, it rips into my fingers. What a vexation…

“Roar! Rrraaaoow!”

“Ugh… Have you forgotten that I saved your life?”

While defending myself from the beast’s attack, a status window appeared in front of me.

[Main Quest: Earn 80 or more Affection Points from Miguel from the Back Alley]

Time Remaining: 27 days

Current Affection Points: 37

Rewards: ???, Drastic Increase in Possibility of Becoming a High Priest.

※If you fail, you will die.

“Come to think of it, I had such a task.”

I was so busy in the past few days I completely forgot. I had an assignment attached to my life.

I also had the mission of becoming a high priest, but that’s a long way off. This is an urgent matter, not even a month remaining.

But, wasn’t the affection score originally 40? Did it drop by 3 because I didn’t visit for a few days?

“Heartless little lad… People might not visit sometimes.”

Mumbling complaints, I hid Sylph well in my satchel and packed the food tightly into my bag before setting off.

As always, cursing the goddess who threatens me with death.

***

I arrived at the back alley after passing through the desolate alleyway.

As usual, the alley was tortuous and complex, making it hard to find my way, but since this is my second time here, I found my way more quickly than the first time.

“Wow, it’s Priest Brother!”

The moment I passed through the mystical wall, the kids spotted me and greeted me.

I waved back at them with a grin.

“Nice to see you Sirin, Lily. And, erm… What are the names of you two?”

“Nason.”

“I’m Candle!”

“Okay. Nice to meet you, Nason, Candle.”

“What’s that in your hand, Priest Brother? Is it something tasty?”

Lilly, the girl with pink hair, pointed at the bag in my left hand.

She looked to be around 10 years old and was as lively as one would expect at her age.

“hahahaha, no way. It’s just a bag.”

“Don’t lie! My nose tells me there’s food in there!”

I awkwardly chuckled as Candle, the orange-haired kid, snatched my bag away.

Candle seemed younger than the others and judging from her polite language, she appeared to have been better disciplined than Lilly.

“It’s food.”

Nasson, the boy with blue hair, searched through the bag that Candle had seized, and pulled out some food.

He appeared to be about the same age as Candle, with an aloof, distant demeanor.

“Hey, didn’t Big Brother Miguel tell us not to take other people’s things!”

With white hair like hoarfrost, Shirin scolded the misbehaving kids.

She always liked to cry ‘Big Brother Miguel’, and seemed to take up the leader’s role when Miguel wasn’t around.

“I brought it for you guys to eat.”

“Really? We have the best priest brother!”

As soon as they got my permission, the kids started to devour the ham, bread, and fruit from the bag.

Why else would I have brought a bag full of food?

The sight of them eating so happily, justified my struggle to bring the heavy bag all the way here.

Sitting back against the wall, I watched the children eat.

The children, who had been eagerly devouring the food, suddenly stopped and just stared at the remaining food.

I was puzzled by their sudden pause.

“Are you guys full? Why did you stop eating all of a sudden?”

“We have to save some for Sister Miguel!”

“Yeah! Sister Miguel must be hungry too!”

“Big Brother Miguel always only eats a bit of the food he brings for us. He must be hungry too, but he always leaves so much to make sure we get full.”

“Big Brother is kind.”

They were all holding their hunger back for Miguel.

‘…How remarkable.’

Their friendship stirred up feelings in me that I could not fully comprehend.

To think these young ones could show such consideration for each other.

Feeling unnecessarily moved, I dusted off my clothes and stood up.

I intended to show some pretty special kids a worthwhile spectacle.

“Do you guys like magic?”

With a sly smile, I produced a deck of cards from my pocket, drawing their gazes as if they were witnessing something miraculous.

Hmm, they’re alley kids, maybe this is their first encounter with magic.

“What’s magic? Something to eat?”

“No, magic is a fun pastime.”

“A pastime? I know a pastime too! I learned air games from my older brother, Miguel!”

“hahahaha…magic is a higher-level kind of enjoyment than something like air games.”

“…Hmmph! That’s not true! Air games are the most fun thing in the world!”

Candel, feeling affronted by my words, threw a tantrum.

“Don’t get irritated, just listen to the explanation.”

To soothe the child, I began my magic performance.

“Magic is an amusement that soothes monotony and is a performance that a magician exhibits in front of an audience.”

Shuffling the deck, I pulled out three cards and put the rest back.

From left to right I held the Queen of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, and King of Diamonds in my left hand.

These were all face cards.

“Magic being an entertainment subject to the magician’s skill, if the performance is sloppy, the audience is bound to lose interest.”

I flipped the three cards over, making sure the kids wouldn’t see them.

“But that’s on the audience’s side. What about the magician? With what feelings do they manipulate the magic?”

Pausing for a moment, I flipped the Queen of Hearts back around –from its place sprang a black joker, a card not there before.

Upon seeing this, the children gasped in surprise.

“To make a living?”

The only one who had not yet immersed himself in the magic, NASON, answered my question.

“Well…there are, indeed, magicians who perform magic just to make a living. But those are mostly just third-rate magicians.”

Dumping the black joker in my hand onto the ground, I answered

“Magicians regard magic as an art.”

Turning around the card with the Club-K embellishment, a coloured joker jumped out this time.

“Many magicians believe magic to be similar to art, as it is dazzling, beautiful, and beyond anything else.”

I twirled the coloured joker around, then stopped it upright.

“There is some truth in what you say. Magic and art share similarities. But those who approach it with such sentiment are only second rate.”

With that, he threw the colored Joker card on the floor just like the black one.

“All the cards changed?!”

“Wow… that’s amazing…”

“What about the first-rate! What do they think?”

The children are revelling in the show, completely engrossed.

I sighed inwardly, reminded of why I don’t perform for children.

“First-rate… they think magic is trickery.”

“Trickery?”

“Yes, exactly that, trickery.”

As he turned over the last card in his hand, it revealed the Ace of Spades.

“Ultimately, magic is about deceiving others, whether it is done elegantly or sloppily. Those who unleash magic must be prepared to deceive someone.”

He gently fluttered the Ace of Spades.

Then a hidden deck of cards spilled out from behind the Ace of Spades.

“I think magic is the greatest amusement in that sense, the catharsis gained through deceiving others is surprisingly sweet.”

I dusted off my hands and raised both arms up.

There was no hidden meaning, it was just a gesture to signal the end of the show.

The children reacted differently to the performance.

Lily screamed with joy, Candle’s eyes sparkled, Nahson set his mouth agape and Shirin clapped enthusiastically.

I glanced at the scattered cards on the floor and felt a slight regret for the unnecessary show.

‘Ah, the floor was already dirty.’

The cards littered on the floor were grimy, smeared with assorted filth.

In a magic-developed society such as ours, we didn’t need tools for magic. So, even these were strenuously handcrafted, like pills…

I tried to clean off the filth, but quickly gave up.

Not only did the grime stubbornly stick to the cards, I also noticed an important audience member had arrived.

“He’s openly declaring himself a con artist.”

Miguel… shee… soldier?

Anyway, Miguel, my target for the day, had returned.