I Became a New Magical Girl Priest

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It’s the worst.

It’s the worst.

I keep becoming painfully aware that I’m the most useless person amongst us. In a situation where we’re all struggling, it’s always the Magical Girls who manage to salvage some hope.

I thought I could handle everything by myself, but in the end, I’ve been doing nothing alone and relying on others for help.

…I wonder if Pang-pang is alright? Did she get questioned by the police after I left?

Did anyone around suspect something was off when a person they’d been living with suddenly disappeared and report it?

If I make contact now, it’ll probably raise even more suspicion. I just barely escaped so if I approach carelessly, it’ll look extremely suspicious.

I do have a mask, but…

“Huh.”

I ran away from Ha-yoon and leaned against the wall again.

The moon was so bright that I could barely see any stars.

If it weren’t for the situation, this might be a place I could actually like. There’s no one around, which is a bit uncomfortable, but it’s much better than being in a crowded place where discomfort is compounded.

Even while staring at the star-filled sky, I couldn’t gather my thoughts, only feeling discomfort.

I didn’t want to think about anything.

I have no idea how Ha-yoon will react to what I did a little while ago.

No matter how impulsive people can be, that’s not something you should do. It’s strange to believe that when someone offers to do anything for you, it really means anything. If it were me in my usual state, I wouldn’t have thought that way.

Did I… see Ha-yoon that way?

“…”

I want to believe that’s not true. I want to think that I circled around Ha-yoon just to help her, just because we’re friends.

But at this point, with my certainty wavering, it can definitely be called messed up.

How long was I staring at the sky?

I heard footsteps approaching, crunching softly on the ground.

“Ji-eun.”

It was Ha-yoon.

Did she not understand what had just happened to her?

Maybe she thought that because it was me, I wouldn’t do such a thing. After all, people generally don’t think that girls would act that way to each other. That’s why places like public baths exist without a second thought.

Didn’t Ha-yoon and I even bathe together before?

At that time, I tried not to look her way out of consideration, a sense of conscience.

“…”

I wanted to run away again.

But where would I run to? Except when cleaning, I’m always equipped with this circuit, so I could go anywhere in a literal sense. With a mask on my face.

But then, I hardly had any proper clothes left. Of course, I couldn’t use my cards, and I didn’t have much cash either.

It wouldn’t make sense to leave alone just to relieve my own anxiety and spend money.

So, I just stayed still.

“Ji-eun.”

Ha-yoon stubbornly called my name again.

It didn’t seem like she had come to condemn my actions. Ha-yoon wasn’t that kind of person.

She’s the type who treats everyone kindly and can’t bring herself to say anything mean at all… except to people she considers enemies, the ones she deems bad.

She had even treated me that way when we encountered each other in a combat situation. The glimmering eyes believing I was wrong for destroying the generator and that protecting it was the right thing.

But if Ha-yoon had known that was me back then, perhaps the story might have changed.

At least, Ha-yoon had never spoken those words to me.

Even though I was a combatant, carrying the label of a terrorist and a public enemy, she still followed me.

Thinking that made a deep sense of guilt bloom within me.

Whether I liked it or not, Ha-yoon was here solely for me. She was sacrificing her future. And she had done so much for me while here.

Nothing was perfect, but there were things that wouldn’t have come into my hands without the Magical Girls.

“…”

So I didn’t respond.

Because I had nothing to say.

I heard rustling next to me. The distinctive sound of sneakers scuffing against the dirt.

I felt a bit of warmth beside me, then a weight that wasn’t too heavy.

Ha-yoon’s head gently rested on my shoulder, and I caught a glimpse of her pink hair shimmering in the white moonlight in my peripheral vision.

There was a sweet floral scent.

No one here was capable of such flamboyant grooming. Naturally, there was no perfume or anything.

Though I’d washed with almost just water, it was still cleaner than just calling it body odor.

Oh, right. We did have shampoo, after all.

The bag Ji-hye gave had some shampoo in it. Of course, it wasn’t much. The kind you buy at a convenience store, just the right size for a travel bag.

Every time I washed, I used a tiny amount. Even Rose, whose hair is shorter than mine, has a bob cut, so we simply didn’t have enough to share among all of us.

So despite not being able to use it properly, Ha-yoon’s hair still smelled good.

Maybe it’s related to magic too?

“…Aren’t you scared?”

“What do you mean scared?”

As I asked, Ha-yoon questioned me again.

“A little while ago.”

“Why, what happened a little while ago?”

Though we both knew what incident Ha-yoon was referring to, she spoke as if it were no big deal.

And that annoyed me.

Why was that?

It felt like no matter what I did to myself, she would accept it.

In the end, was I just jealous that Ha-yoon was a better person than I?

My circuits were slowly starting to spin.

I really was pathetic. Despairing over everything even in this situation.

What I hated most was myself.

“Are you really asking because you don’t know? Or do you want me to say it out loud?”

I knew what I should say was an apology.

But it just wouldn’t come out of my mouth. There was no way it could.

“…”

Ha-yoon leaned her shoulder against mine without saying anything.

Except that there was a thorn in our conversation—though I was the one standing it up—this still felt a bit like our usual atmosphere.

Sometimes, we would just sit together in silence and pass the time without saying anything.

Ha-yoon loved those quiet moments. There were always people around, and for some reason, many wanted to start a conversation, so she cherished the moments when time just passed by doing nothing.

Maybe she just wanted that now as well.

The only difference was:

I couldn’t be sure that I knew Ha-yoon as well as I did back then.

I knew that kind of situation was ‘wrong.’

I was definitely aware that I had ‘done wrong.’

Why was righteous Ha-yoon not bringing that thing up? Why was she being silent about it, even softly?

…I didn’t understand.

So I felt a little scared.

*

There was no reason to be scared anymore.

I could understand things.

Ha-yoon thought to herself that she was gently resting her head on Ji-eun’s shoulder.

In truth, just a little while ago, she felt a bit scared.

What if she didn’t understand Ji-eun’s feelings correctly? What if being here in this situation was more of a hindrance than a help?

What if Ji-eun found that she did not need Ha-yoon anymore?

That was a natural unease.

Ji-eun had never said that she needed Ha-yoon. She had never asked for help.

…That was the greatest reason Ha-yoon felt comfortable being by Ji-eun’s side.

So, it could be strange for her to feel anxious now. The reason she came to like Ji-eun in the first place was that she remained a pure friend without asking anything from her. And now, to want all of that was—

—too selfish in its own way.

Up until now, she had been quite selfish. Just being here together was a selfish act. Ji-eun hadn’t asked for that at all.

But just a little while ago.

When Ji-eun had stood so close to Ha-yoon,

When their eyes were so near that their faces couldn’t fully fit within each other’s sight—

For the first time, Ha-yoon felt it.

Ji-eun wanted something from her.

Whether that was something generally giveable or not, she wasn’t sure yet. She couldn’t pinpoint what exactly ‘it’ was.

While chasing Ji-eun, who had left alone, she could narrow it down to a few facts—yet still, among those ‘few facts’, she had to narrow it down further as best as she could.

The current lack of leisure for Ji-eun was getting too complicated, and maybe it was too fortunate an emotion—

There was no guarantee that it was a proper feeling, nor did she really know if Ji-eun genuinely wanted it.

Given this situation, the feeling barely surged under her heart, or whether it was just a misunderstanding born from the affection accumulated over long time with Ji-eun—she didn’t know, and it was better to set aside such feelings.

If it were a misunderstanding, it would have been a misunderstanding that could not be erased between them. Ha-yoon didn’t want to cause Ji-eun such hurt. If she had intended to cause that kind of hurt, she wouldn’t have followed her in the first place.

So she pondered rationally and shoved those possibilities aside.

Then came the thought that maybe Ji-eun would want to slap her at least once.

…Considering what Ha-yoon had done up to this point, ending things that way would be such a minor response. Regardless of the circumstances, Ha-yoon had already hit Ji-eun several times. It wasn’t just about hitting; she’d already done ways that were definitely harmful to Ji-eun.

For a brief moment, Ji-eun might have felt such an impulse.

So—

So Ji-eun wanted something from Ha-yoon.

And just that fact eased her fears a bit.

As if nothing had happened, as if it were of no concern.

Fearing that Ji-eun might disappear right in front of her without wanting anything from Ha-yoon. That Ji-eun would treat her as ‘just someone unrelated’ because of the way she had wanted Ji-eun to be up to now.

That was what scared her.

But understanding even the faintest bit of those feelings made a difference.

Even if she hated it, as long as the relationship wouldn’t break and could continue,

At least someday, they could return to how they were before… No, even that was too optimistic of a thought. But perhaps they could return to a similar relationship.

At least, to a relationship where they could call each other friends.

Suddenly, there was a vibration sound.

It was different from the sound of a phone vibrating, a little awkward and strangely odd vibration.

That sound was coming from Ji-eun’s wrist.

The circuit Ji-eun was using.

With Ha-yoon by her side, Ji-eun felt at least some emotion.

Iris, or rather, Jua presumed that Ji-eun’s circuit was cycling with negative emotions. It certainly looked that way to Ha-yoon. Ji-eun’s expression while using the circuits had hardly ever been pleasant.

But still.

Maybe, just maybe,

It was possible that good feelings could be used in that circuit too?

And maybe it could turn back because of positive feelings?

Even thinking that was just a selfish imagination, and while she judged herself that way,

Ha-yoon simply couldn’t help but think so.

*

Regardless of my mental state, I had to set some sort of goal right away.

It’s okay to feel anger, but when that anger has no direction, it’s pointless. Taking it out on Ha-yoon won’t improve my situation.

I managed to secure food relatively well. I could barely maintain the basic rights of life. As the weather warmed up, I at least didn’t have to worry about freezing to death.

I still slept inside the tent, but I was at least leaving the entrance open now. There was no longer the luxury to worry about the Magical Girls being in sight.

After all, we were always living together inside anyway.

I had briefly thought about putting up walls inside to create separate rooms.

But even I thought that idea wasn’t great. If I were to do that, ultimately, the ones having to work would still be the five living with me.

And then I’d feel guilty all over again.

So for now, I decided to just go on like this, observing the situation and thinking slowly.

“I’m planning to fight.”

I said that a week after the last battle.

April. The frequency with which our names appeared in the news had noticeably decreased. It’s likely that the government is managing things, but societal interest has waned.

People can’t focus on strange interests forever. Each person has their own lives, and as time passes, interests naturally shift elsewhere.

If I should care about that public opinion, honestly, I’m still not sure. After all, people would try their best to block it out, so is there even a way to correctly convey a message to those who oppose us?

Just like when I attacked the Noir Corporation headquarters.

When I said that, the kids who had been listening exchanged glances and then looked back at me.

They were listening.

It felt like they were saying that.

I nodded for no reason and continued speaking.

“I think attacking the headquarters again won’t be meaningful. We’ve gotten what we needed from there, and it’s likely a ton of upgraded aliens are waiting for us if we go back.”

We barely managed to win last time. Of course, I stepped back during the fight, but that doesn’t guarantee we’ll definitely win if I’m there this time.

The aliens’ armor has been reinforced since then. We managed to break through their reinforced armor last time, so they might be reinforced again.

If they’ve piled a bunch of that inside the headquarters, there’s definitely no way it’ll be easy to win if we fight them again.

So—

“Then, let’s focus on the complex this time.”

James elaborated on my words.

“The complex? That’s the place…”

“Yeah. The site of the previous terrorist attack.”

I nodded at Iris, who hesitated to speak up.

I’ve heard that the collapsed areas have become unusable. Even if they rebuild, they’ll have to start with those thick pillars.

Moreover, the effects of the explosion and the collapse had put immense strain on the surrounding structures, so it’s impossible to continue using it as is.

Now they say that the collapsed section was simply severed and turned into two separate complexes.

“Research was definitely being conducted there.”

The kidnapped scientist was also present there. He must have died during that attack. At the very least, there was definitely a room inside that pillar.

We can’t tell if it was a secret laboratory or just something like an interrogation room, but…

“They’re probably researching completely different things now compared to when the former chairman was around.”

“If so, won’t there be aliens there as well?”

Dalia asked an extremely logical question.

That’s probably the case. Of course, there would be aliens there too.

“We need to find out how much it costs to make those aliens.”

I looked at James.

This was a conclusion we reached during a conversation yesterday. James was incredibly excited about my idea and helped with various calculations.

No matter what anyone says, it seems he’s genuinely invested in outsmarting the entity that betrayed him.

“Actually, making armor isn’t too expensive. In practice, new prototypes can come out quite quickly. The key lies in the alien inside it, and in the armor tailored specifically to each alien.”

James continued, lifting the corner of his mouth slightly.

“The resonance circuits can be standardized and the internal structure mass-produced, but… the molding of the armor itself can’t be anything but custom-made. Considering that, they probably haven’t made as much as we expected. They might have a few to suppress us, but that day in the building is likely to be the most they have.”

Stable supply of the aliens.

Using aliens we’ve already defeated would be troublesome. After all, the Federation isn’t that foolish.

Whether it be artificially produced or secretly abducted when they appear, mass production isn’t possible for now. If it were, the Magical Girls wouldn’t be necessary at all, and the controversy would have dwindled away quickly.

Average people don’t even realize they’re aliens.

“The complex is vast. It seems impossible that they could fill it with aliens…”

James said that and paused for a moment before opening his mouth again.

“Oh, but if they spread those aliens out more broadly across the country, that would be ideal. So, while our primary target is the complex, let’s first attack somewhere else to create some chaos. It should be feasible.”

“Well, that makes sense.”

I nodded, and the Magical Girls looked a bit anxious.

I get it.

If aliens appeared and we went to take them down, that could count as an operation.

But to go out first and attack—it’s no different from terrorism.

Even if people don’t die, it’s still the same.

No matter how much I claim not to care about reputation in the moment, the pangs of conscience are inescapable.

But—

“…”

Among the kids who showed slightly anxious expressions, Ha-yoon didn’t look particularly worried.

She was just looking straight at me.

“…This operation is also about releasing aliens that are being used. Whatever the reasoning, being turned into an alien is a painful experience.”

Only after I said that did the kids express a bit of relief.

Ha-yoon still wore an expression of trust in me.

It was a look I didn’t quite understand, so I finally turned my head slightly away.

 

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