Chapter 15: Chapter 15: Emotional Baby Steps (1)
Song Soo-yeon recounted to me, one by one, the difficulties she had faced.
From trivial matters to serious issues.
I learned why she had no choice but to go to the rooftop, and what kind of people her parents were.
It was different from what I had thought; I had believed that the problems at school were her greatest pain.
She had many hidden sorrows, none of which were light matters.
No wonder she became a villain.
In the end, it was her parents that led her to become a villain.
It's natural to despair when the money saved amidst all the bullying and suffering is taken away.
If I hadn't been there, she would have certainly jumped.
Jumped and lived as a cripple, awakening her powers.
Then, becoming a villain was inevitable.
Of course, it's not that I thought I had to prevent her from becoming a villain at all costs.
Just because I decided not to become a villain doesn't mean I expect others to follow the same compulsion.
There are those who have no choice but to live as villains.
Honestly, I understand.
I just thought it would be better if Song Soo-yeon didn't become a villain.
The reason I feel fulfilled now is not because I prevented Song Soo-yeon from becoming a villain.
Nor is it because I stopped the appearance of villain Luna.
Her future is entirely up to her to decide.
What made me feel fulfilled was being able to extend a helping hand to her.
I was overjoyed that she finally cried and shared her troubles with me.
That I was able to help her, even a little.
That she seems to be living a little like she had resolved to.
That made me the happiest.
....
It was hard to listen to her story because it was so heart-wrenching.
Realizing that she too had no one around to help her, and essentially, was lonely and struggling, made me feel even more sympathetic, like I was looking at myself.
It seems we have quite a lot in common.
Maybe that's why we both walked the path of villains.
Though it's self-satisfaction now... with just a bit of attachment, it's hard to just leave her be.
I want to help if I can.
Before I knew it, I was receiving her support too.
We're not that close yet, but she's the only person I've shared emotions with in this life.
Maybe as we continue like this, we can become closer?
Becoming the friend I've longed for.
Well, it will take effort, of course.
Song Soo-yeon had stopped sobbing by now and was leaning on my back.
Her arm, which had been around my neck, was now loosened and gone, but she didn't say she wanted to go down.
I'm not sure if she's doing this because she wants to lean on me, if she's still weak from the shock, or if it's just because she doesn't have her shoes, but it was fine by me.
".....Did you fall asleep?"
I raised my voice again.
Earlier, I hadn't thought to show such courtesy and ended up speaking informally, but I didn't want to speak rudely in case it made her uncomfortable.
"....No."
She answered.
I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking.
---
---
Song Soo-yeon clung to his back as if her life depended on it.
She felt like dying of embarrassment at the moment.
Once she let out all her tears and the pain she had been hiding, her heart began to calm down.
As her heated head cooled down, she felt increasingly ashamed of her emotional actions.
The fact that she had cried in his arms was mortifying.
Each word she had blurted out made her cringe.
Why did she always reveal her embarrassing sides to this person?
He knew everything about her, things that no one else had a clue about.
Of course, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it used to be.
In fact, it was heartwarming to have someone who completely understood her.
...But it was still embarrassing.
She wanted to stay on his back forever.
Then she wouldn't have to face him.
---
---
But soon they arrived at the restaurant, and the lights, which had been off, brightly lit up.
The lights of the restaurant turned on just for her.
She momentarily forgot her embarrassment in the warmth.
"Come down now."
Finally, it was time for Song Soo-yeon, who had been clinging to his back, to move.
If he teased her even once after she got down, she felt like she'd have to hide in a mouse hole.
Song Soo-yeon awkwardly dismounted from his back.
Without raising her face, he said to her,
"Sit down. I'll make something for you."
Then he went into the kitchen without even looking at her.
Realizing his consideration, Song Soo-yeon stood numbly, picking at her fingers, then slowly took a seat.
Sounds of him starting to make something in the kitchen reached her ears.
And there was no other sound.
Song Soo-yeon found the silence even more painful.
She wanted to quickly move past the earlier incident as if it never happened.
She eventually broke the silence.
".....So..."
"...Hmm?"
At her soft voice, he peeked out of the kitchen.
Song Soo-yeon, still avoiding his gaze, asked,
"...So how did you know to come?"
"...Ah, that."
With conversation, Song Soo-yeon felt like she could breathe again.
Of course, she felt embarrassed again thinking about it.
"...It was a coincidence. I saw you passing by looking upset, so I followed."
"...Why?"
"It was night... and since your situation is complicated enough to come to my restaurant, and you were being bullied at school, I was worried. Seeing someone who usually doesn't look that way made me think you might make a foolish decision. And my guess wasn't wrong."
"...."
"...To be honest, since you're the only person I know right now, I was more worried."
Song Soo-yeon felt her heart filling with warmth.
Normally, she would have retorted with a curse, but this time, she couldn't.
And at the same time, she felt embarrassed again.
It was her first time receiving such kindness from someone, and she wasn't used to it.
She had no idea how to react.
How could he be so bold in expressing his feelings?
Could this also be a sign of affection?
If he had no feelings, why would he care about her passing by in such a distressed state?
At that moment, her heart seemed to drop.
"....Ah."
This meant that he had seen everything she did.
Her screaming in the street, tearing up her bankbook, wandering aimlessly, even her torn shoes.
All of it.
Really.
Every embarrassing moment had been exposed.
Her face started to turn red with shame and embarrassment.
All she could do was pretend to be tough through harsh words.
"....That's really annoying."
She muttered.
".....Huh?"
"...You, you were stalking me."
"Ah, say whatever you want."
He chuckled at his own words and continued cooking.
Song Soo-yeon, wanting to maintain her pride, spoke her mind.
".....You're like a freaking pervert, a sexual harasser."
His movement paused for a moment.
She glanced at his back with a nervous heart.
Contrary to his words about speaking freely, his shoulders seemed to slump a bit.
Song Soo-yeon had to swallow a smile.
Not because she felt proud to have gotten one over on him, but because his reaction was... somewhat cute.
And the atmosphere was much softer than before.
Just when she was feeling relieved, his counterattack came.
"...You don't need to attack me just because you're embarrassed about crying. I really don't mind."
"It's, it's not that!"
She was hit right where it hurt and could only shout out.
---
---
Soon, the food was served.
It was vegetable porridge.
A suitable dish for late at night and after having shouted her lungs out.
It seemed like his thoughtfulness again.
In a much more relaxed atmosphere, the mister sat at a nearby table.
Song Soo-yeon hesitated for a moment before speaking.
".....Th-thank you."
And then she immediately began eating with a spoon.
The mister paused again.
Song Soo-yeon secretly watched him.
A big smile soon spread across his face.
She found herself staring blankly at his expression without realizing it.
She didnt know how long she looked at him.
But now, she could definitely say it.
She liked his smile.
It was really, addictively charming.
She couldn't understand how he could do that.
How could he smile like that just from a simple word of thanks?
Was it because she thanked him?
Perhaps hearing gratitude from someone you like makes you feel even more elated.
Song Soo-yeon quickly diverted her gaze from him and busily moved her spoon.
Noticing the change in her mood as he smiled proudly, he asked her in a cheerful voice,
"Can I ask you a favor?"
"...A favor?"
"It's nothing difficult."
"...What is it?"
"We seem to have gotten a bit closer, don't you think? Calling me just 'mister' feels a bit impersonal, right?"
Song Soo-yeon slightly scowled at this.
It was due to the habitual wariness she felt.
Was it too forward of him?
Seeing her reaction, the mister awkwardly scratched the back of his head.
"There's not much of an age gap between us...."
Song Soo-yeon asked,
"...How old are you?"
"...Well... I'm 22."
There was a three-year difference.
Song Soo-yeon filed this new information away in her mind.
Honestly, it wasn't a big enough age difference to warrant calling him 'mister.'
But that didn't mean she wanted to change how she addressed him right away.
It wasn't that she disliked him.
Again, it was because of her embarrassment.
If she changed her attitude towards him all at once after what had happened, what would he think of her?
She didn't want to reveal the extent of his influence on her and she felt even more embarrassed about having cried in his arms earlier.
As if trying to cover up that past, insisting that she was too emotional then, Song Soo-yeon said,
"A three-year difference does make you a mister."
".....Eh...?"
"Besides, I'm a minor and you're an adult. Adults are all misters, right?"
"....That's... true?"
He seemed quite disappointed with her response.
Song Soo-yeon wanted to embarrass him a bit.
Teasingly, she asked,
"What, do you want me to call you 'oppa' now? That would be creepy."
"...No, I didn't mean I want you to call me 'oppa'... but 'mister' feels a bit too distant, you know...? It might not be bad to change it before it becomes too ingrained... Once a nickname sticks, it becomes hard and awkward to change... like there's a wall between us..."
"I'll stick to calling you 'mister.'"
He suddenly slapped his knee as if he had a great idea.
"Ah! Yes, call me 'mister,' but how about 'mister Gyeom'? It won't feel as distant that way."
His name was Jung-gyeom, so mister Gyeom.
It wasn't a bad idea.
But conceding to his suggestion now felt like losing.
Even if she might naturally change how she addressed him later, she didn't want to agree right now.
"....Annoying. I dont like it."
Alright, alright.
With that, he easily gave up.
This was contrary to Song Soo-yeon's expectation that he might try to persuade her a bit more.
"I'm lonely, so lonely."
Was he saying this for her to hear?
Song Soo-yeon felt a bit awkward but didn't want to lose face by correcting her words now.
It seemed better to change it naturally later.
Mister Gyeom.
She silently called him that in her mind.
---
---
After Song Soo-yeon finished her meal, she let out a long sigh.
Observing her, I asked,
"What's wrong now?"
Despite our earlier bantering, she seemed to be troubled again even after the warm and friendly conversation we just had.
She didn't respond with her usual sharpness, as she would have done before.
Instead, after hesitating for a while, she spoke.
"....No, it's nothing. Just... thank you. But I need to go back now."
"Go back?"
"....I have to go home."
It was my turn to frown.
I realized I hadn't mentioned the plan I had made for her.
"...You're going home?"
"...I have to, damn it. What else can I do..."
I couldn't tell if going back after all she had been through was brave or foolish.
"Why go back there?"
I asked.
A look of confusion crossed Song Soo-yeon's face.
"...Then what... how..."
"Stay at my place."
Song Soo-yeon's eyes widened.
The fact that her flustered look was beautiful seemed ridiculous.
Well, her crying was pretty too.
"You don't want to go home. Stay at my place. It's not far from here."
I continued, trying to snap her out of her daze.
Song Soo-yeon just sputtered disjointed words, like a broken machine.
"No.... Ah.... That..."
Then, as if resolving herself, she bit her lower lip hard, her expression crumpling.
She said,
"...Don't think you can do whatever you want just because you helped me, mister."
"...Huh?"
Just like when she was pretending to be tough earlier, she forced her words out vehemently.
"...You really are a pervert. mister Gyeom? More like pervert mister."
Understanding what she was thinking, I couldn't help but laugh.
"....Are you going to keep doing this? What does offering you a place to stay have to do with being a pervert?"
"Ah... That..."
My pointed question shattered her faade, and she was back to being unable to respond properly.
I could only sigh.
Of course, it wasn't her fault.
Its the people she had encountered that were the problem.
Or maybe it's her beautiful appearance.
But considering she still reacted this way despite my consistent behavior, her wounds are deeper than I had thought.
Looking at her with pity, I said,
".....Sigh. Its fine. Its probably because of your past experiences."
"..."
"I'll make you a promise."
"....A promise?"
I spoke to Song Soo-yeon, who was looking at me cautiously.
"I will never do anything you dislike."
"....That kind of... thing?"
"We're just friends. Got it?"
Song Soo-yeon's eyes softened.
Her movements were awkward and hesitant.
She probably didn't want to go home if she could help it.
My offer must have been tempting to her.
She made one last attempt at resistance.
"...But I'll still call you pervert mister."
I smiled wryly.
I was pleased that she didn't object to being friends.
"Call me whatever you want. Come on, let's get up. We're going to my place."