I Became the Academy’s Pink Airhead

During my military service in a past life.

I once saw wild boars greedily emptying food waste bins – slop bins in a mountain valley in Gangwon-do. They were wild boars living in the nearby mountains.

I was shocked because they were larger and smellier than I had imagined.

The sight of several plump bodies with their heads buried in rubber slop bins, chewing the slop with yellowish teeth.

It really instinctively evoked disgust.

Well, after getting used to it, we treated them as cute mascots of the unit and teased them. It became a tourist course that circulated every time new recruits arrived.

Looking closely, their eyes were lovely creatures.

The unit members even came up with their own nickname, ‘Baby Pig Search Team’.

But to Farmer Kim, an acquaintance of the executive officer, they didn’t look that way. They all ended up as a pool of blood before righteous lead bullets.

‘Oh Baby Pig Search Team, why weren’t you satisfied with the slop bins and targeted the sweet potato fields…!’

Anyway…

What I want to say is.

The sight of fairly large creatures greedily tearing and eating something is more off-putting than you can imagine.

It’s literally enough to freeze your body momentarily.

It’s not for nothing that horror movie clichés show swarms of small creatures tearing apart corpses. Even if you look closely and see cute-eyed stray dogs or wild boars gathered, you instinctively shrink back.

But what if what’s gathered like that are chaos insects, with even the smallest embryonic ones as big as large dogs?

And there are thousands of these dungeon monsters spewing mucus gathered together?

It really evokes indescribable, uncountable revulsion beyond imagination.

I wished these disgusting bug bastards would just stay inside dungeons.

Shaaaaat―!!

Kyaaaaat―!!

Kuwoooo―!!

But they came out.

The damn dungeon gates, like corrupted tanning gyarus, failed to keep their chastity again. Again they opened their middle door wide, making ahegao double peace signs, and spewed out chaos insects.

This rag-like door single-handedly raised the academy city’s birth rate to three digits.

I grinded my teeth and rushed forward.

‘You… you easy bitch…!’

The dungeon gate that appeared in my mind had ‘正’ engraved on its thigh. Without even giving a glance this way, it coquettishly fawned on [Priest of Erosion] Grafvolud like a rag. (tl/n: there are few translations of this character, but I guess ‘positive’ is the right meaning here. What a trolling gate lol)

-Priest of Erosion’s touch is so strong♡ The academy city students’ pathetic dungeon conquests don’t even compare—♡

Setting a 3-person limit for those entering to conquer, hiding treasures in secluded rooms like a virtuous lady.

But it opens easily to the black lizard old man’s authority.

‘It opens easily to Grafvolud’s authority, is that it?’

This seductive bitch.

But I don’t masturbate in defeat from behind.

Someday I’ll demolish all the dungeon gates in the academy city.

‘I’ll engrave it clearly that the end of NTR is only destruction.’

Thinking that, I looked ahead.

“…!”

Disgusting cries burst out from all over the farmlands where only silence and prayer sounds had echoed. Along with those sounds, those guys are revealing themselves one after another.

Like seeing cicadas clinging all over trees, a disordered disgust rises.

Shaaaaat―!!

Kyaaaaat―!!

Kuwoooo―!!

Because of that commotion, numerous birds flapped their wings in the surrounding forest. A sound like a sudden shower was heard, and they started flying up to the sky all at once.

A full course of 3 stages of chaos insects.

Hundreds of larval, sub-adult, and adult stages were frolicking amicably all over the farmlands.

They all roar as soon as they rise.

Shaaaaat―!!

Kyaaaaat―!!

Kuwoooo―!!

While advancing to chase the students, the chaos insects put crops in their mouths whenever they saw them.

Crunch crunch!

Chaos insects’ mucus falling to the ground and half-eaten crops.

By the way, since these guys are born in the abyss, they were monsters that didn’t particularly need food.

Pointless predation.

It was a characteristic shown by chaos insects led to the ground by [Priest of Erosion].

‘The reason [Priest of Erosion] Grafvolud was treated as the strongest executive was because of elements like this mental attack that broke morale.’

An authority close to disaster that narrowed down all supplies and living spaces in the latter half of the story.

Of course, I’m not exactly sure why the authority of an executive who became a pool of blood before my fist has been revived… but I could roughly guess.

‘Kang Jinsu, you insensitive bastard. To bring out the ability of a character who already made a heroic exit from the story.’

Damn it… because of your mischief the academy city has become a mess again?

When you cause mischief in a dark man’s body, it’s not cute at all.

Mischief is only forgiven when wearing a fresh cute girl skin.

‘…Just like this pink airhead Clara.’

Fortunately, we arrived at the point where the loner virgin Jinsu-kun’s mischief was starting. As expected, the pink airhead girl side was much better at causing mischief.

Shaaaaat―!!

Kyaaaaat―!!

Kuwoooo―!!

I muttered while looking at that sight.

“Looks like we arrived properly without being late—☆”

Then Kara and Rota beside me also took out their equipment.

The large flag spear on her back… and the golden wand and modest magic book revealed themselves.

“This looks like a scene I’ve seen somewhere before.”

“At the start of the semester we couldn’t do anything, but it’s different now!”

Around us was noisy with the presence of fleeing agricultural department students and chaos insects. Everyone was moving in one direction, colliding and screaming.

“Kyaaaa—!!”

“Wh-What on earth is this…!”

“We have to run away quickly!!”

We ran towards the swarm of attacking chaos insects – in the opposite direction of the fleeing agricultural department students.

As we crossed paths, we exchanged glances.

The agricultural department students who saw our faces opened their eyes wide.

“Y-You are…!”

“How on earth…?!”

A situation so urgent they couldn’t even report to the disciplinary department.

The reason only the group could arrive here was simple.

‘I didn’t expect an image of chaos insects suddenly appearing to show up before my eyes…’

An image of chaos insects suddenly attacking the farmlands.

As soon as I saw that, I gathered my juniors and set out.

It seemed like it would take too long to convey the news to others one by one, so I sent notes to [Verdant Great Bow] Anna and theology department head Nella and came with just our group.

[Anyway, big trouble is about to happen in the farmlands, so gather all forces.]

‘Anna should understand this much at least?’

The scene we arrived at like that.

As expected, there were those hoping for our help.

We answered with grins.

“Just a passing pink airhead—☆”

“Just a passing cat! Meow—!”

“Just a passing revolutionary!”

“…”

They hesitated without being able to answer, then ran far away.

We tried making a joke for them who usually think of us as [Three Heroes] and find us difficult to approach.

“…”

“…Did we overdo it?”

“…Senior Comrade said they’d like it if we did this.”

Damn it.

This is why we shouldn’t make jokes in front of long-ears.

I directed this sadness towards the chaos insects.

“I won’t forgive chaos insects that claw at a maiden’s heart—☆”

So I threw one [Pink Lemon Sherbet] at them.

But those guys who cutely became a handful of flesh pieces came back to life again.

What is this.

This is my first time seeing something like this too.

I muttered blankly.

“…Ahaha—☆ What a mess.”

“It seems impossible to sweep them all away at once. We should buy time until [Verdant Great Bow] and the disciplinary department students arrive…!”

But before admitting defeat here, there was something I wanted to test on the chaos insects.

‘I wonder how many times they can revive?’

With that thought in mind, I persuaded Kara who was arguing for containment.

“No! If I just had weapons and a budget, I could do it—☆”

“Huh? Really? Meow—! Here!”

Rota could now activate simple magic with just one ‘Meow!’. Once the floodgates opened, her development speed was extraordinary.

With her two fists outstretched, she cutely went ‘Meow!’ and a cat-shaped greatsword appeared in the air.

“Ah, this cool and heavy sensation after so long—☆”

“…? You just took it to practice not long ag…”

“Shh, be quiet my little baby kitten—☆”

I let the minor correction slide.

Click—!

And towards the approaching chaos insects, I cast my second ultimate technique that was relatively less wasteful.

“[Blue Sweet Macaron]—!!”

As I swung the greatsword, the air trembled and a single ether wave advanced. It was a huge wave easily covering tens of meters.

Kuuung—!

The countless hearts contained within pulverized the enemies into powder. The [Wave] ether that changes the world transformed into physical force and struck relentlessly.

Chaos insects disappearing without even being able to scream.

But I felt the presence of them reviving again from within.

“…!”

Not missing that presence, I tried to blow away even the traces by continuously throwing ultimate techniques.

“[Blue Sweet Macaron], [Blue Sweet Macaron]—!!”

Enough ultimate technique names to open a macaron shop.

To the extent that the surrounding farmland was completely overturned into dirt.

Even though I endlessly sent waves of pulverization… those guys revived. They were reassembling at an unrealistically fast speed and rushing forward again.

Shaaaaat―!!

Kyaaaaat―!!

Kuwoooo―!!

The girl’s plan failed like a dog.

Indeed, it was the utterly incompetent skill of a pink airhead.

“…”

“…”

“…”

We steeled our hearts even while watching that sight. We had been through too much to panic and scream now.

“Let’s just go with the aggro containment strategy—☆”

“Understood!”

Kara scattered dozens of ether conductive cubes from the pouch on her belt. They swelled up in the air, then became square robots the size of human torsos and started moving.

“[Revolutionary Comrades]!! Come out as much as you can—!”

Kirik—!

Kirik—!

Kara immediately planted a flag in the ground and activated her second ether skill.

“[Flag of Revolution]—!!”

Bang!

As she struck down the flag, a huge wave spread and enveloped the surrounding [Revolutionary Comrades].

The Revolutionary Comrades whose energy instantly surged formed a battle line waving their thin arms. They surrounded the sub-adult and larval chaos insects on all sides and whipped them.

Slap—!

It was a playful sight, but with each gesture the outer shells of the chaos insects were dented. And painful screams followed.

Shaaaaat―!!

Kyaaaaat―!!

The endless whipping of the [Revolutionary Comrades] like an ancient punishment. With dozens forming a battle line and pouring out attacks like moving walls, the chaos insects couldn’t regain their senses.

While buying time like that, Kara extended her spear towards the necks of protruding sub-adult and larval chaos insects.

“Haap—!!”

With a shout, the tall girl over 180cm jumps into the air and swings her moon blade.

As the flat spear blade draws a red crescent in the air, it cuts off the heads of chaos insects writhing under the shower of whips from the [Revolutionary Comrades].

“Meow!”

Rota’s fairy tale magic follows.

As if conducting with her wand, faint golden fragments fall from the red ether embroidered in the air.

“[Memory of Lunch, Sleepy Afternoon Nap, Even the Heart Becomes Drowsy]—!”

Four cats as large as small vehicles appeared in the air.

Meooow—!

They moved sluggishly forward and

Lined up in a row looking at each other’s bottoms and collapsed.

Shaaaaat—!!

Due to the sudden appearance of the cat blockade, the relatively small larval chaos insects flinched and couldn’t approach.

“Kyop—☆”

I darted through the gaps with greatsword and spear, continuously cutting off the heads of chaos insects that poked out.

Swish—!

Swish—!

Swish—!

Even when decapitated, the relatively tough adult chaos insects quickly revived and poked their heads out.

Kuwoooo—!

“It’s you! I feel evil from inside your head—☆”

Hmph.

You tried to do lewd things to me, didn’t you?

Like in an erotic manga!

I tightly gripped the spear in my hand, spun it in the air, and split its head like a cake with centrifugal force.

Splat—!

A huge fountain of blood gushed out proportional to its ridiculously large size.

That’s how we were tying down the chaos insects’ feet.

And…

Through the gaps we saw chaos insects falling from the sky.

They were falling crudely like missile bombings from far up in the sky.

“…!”

“…Senior, above…!”

“That’s…!”

When we looked up.

We saw a giant dragonfly spewing and scattering chaos insects in the air. It was flying in the air out of reach of our attacks.

A dragonfly with hundreds of horns sprouting.

The older brother of the [Twin Priests], ‘Goin’.

He shouted from the air in a pathetic voice:

[How arrogant of inferior species who can’t even fly.]

This… this cowardly bastard…!

How dare he touch on the weakness of ground-walkers…!

“Come down right now! Let’s fight fair and square with agitation and fabrication—☆”

‘Goin’, I’ll really turn you into a corpse.