READ NOVEL ONLINE Chapter 79
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“But why were you holding a kitchen knife?”
“Get a grip.”
“This isn’t good.”
“Seriously, what was the knife for?”
“Were you going to stab someone?”
“Si-Hoo?”
“Or that White-Haired Girl?”
“Hmm. Cooking.”
“You were cooking, right?”
“But you finished cooking hours ago, and there’s nothing to slice.”
“What’s the reason for holding the knife?”
“Get it together. Why are you acting like this?”
“Is it because you haven’t slept?”
“I didn’t get to!”
“It’s troublesome if Si-Hoo goes out again while I’m asleep.”
“Am I possibly sick?”
I looked in the mirror.
I didn’t seem sick.
I’ve been taking the medicine Si-Hoo gave me religiously.
There’s really nothing wrong.
I spotted the necklace.
Si-Hoo gave it to me as a gift.
“Things like this…”
To be honest, I didn’t care for it.
I’ve never been particularly interested in jewelry.
I also don’t like to dress up.
“I don’t need it.”
I’d rather just be together.
Si-Hoo insisted I wear it.
But I don’t want to now.
It feels suffocating.
How did I take it off?
Clank.
While I pondered, I heard the sound of the doorknob turning.
Si-Hoo is here.
That was quick.
I went to the entrance to greet him.
“You’re back?”
“It’s early.”
It’s been less than 30 minutes since he left.
That woman told him about me.
She said she met me.
I figured as much.
Do you have something to hide?
“…Seo-A, about yesterday…”
“Yeah.”
“Can you explain?”
“……”
“Huh?”
Is it hard for you to talk about it?
It seems difficult to explain.
His expression shows he’s pondering where to start.
“So…”
If he’s going to continue like this, I’ll just have to be the one to ask first.
I didn’t want to dig like this either.
“What’s your relationship with that girl?”
What kind of relationship could it be?
No response.
So, I kept throwing questions.
Everything I was curious about.
“I heard you two are colleagues, what kind of colleagues?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What were you doing that made you come back so late yesterday?”
“Is this all because of me?”
“What injection did you get, can you say?”
No answers come.
Why not?
Is this something you need to think so hard about?
“Ugh, I don’t need this stupid necklace—”
Why not just give it to her?
As I tried to take off the necklace, Si-Hoo grabbed my arm.
“No.”
“…Huh?”
“Don’t take it off.”
Why?
He reacts to the odd part.
Isn’t it my freedom to take it off or leave it on?
“I don’t want to, I’m taking it off.”
“Listen to me.”
“This is suffocating. You gave it to me as a gift, so it’s mine, right? I should be able to do as I please.”
Did I say something wrong?
It’s a problem to tell me not to take it off without any explanation.
“No, keep wearing it.”
“Huh?”
This makes no sense.
Why say it so commandingly about something odd?
The more you tell me not to do it, the more I want to.
Just as I was about to take it off, Si-Hoo grabs both of my arms.
“I told you not to.”
“Ugh.”
His gaze is odd.
Si-Hoo looks desperate.
“I’m doing all of this for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“So please.”
Is there something about the necklace?
Why does he look so uneasy?
Does taking it off lead to something bad happening?
It’s hard to understand.
He goes this far, and I can’t take it off.
If so, I have a proposal.
“Then will you stay with me? I won’t take off the necklace.”
“……”
“Huh? What do you think?”
Is wearing the necklace that crucial?
I can’t understand any of this.
But if I can just be with Si-Hoo…
“…Okay.”
Si-Hoo replies.
He’ll stay with me.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I won’t ask anything. We’ll just pretend nothing happened.”
That sounds good, right?
Okay?
I think that sounds good too!
Si-Hoo’s expression isn’t good.
Is he really that eager not to stay with me?
“Si-Hoo?”
“……”
Without saying a word, he pulls something out.
“Uh, Si-Hoo…?”
Si-Hoo is holding a syringe.
What? Where did that come from?
“Si-Hoo?”
With a bad feeling rising, I took a step back, trying to distance myself from Si-Hoo.
But his grip on my arm was firm.
“Si-Hoo…?”
Something feels off.
He’s planning to use that syringe on me.
It looks like he prepared it ahead of time.
“W-What are you trying to do? Huh?”
He’s about to inject me.
I feel like I shouldn’t get it, whatever it is.
But Si-Hoo wouldn’t do anything bad to me.
His hand doesn’t let go of my arm.
He looks like he’s contemplating whether to use the syringe or not.
“I’m just… I got worried because you haven’t said anything.”
I must’ve been caught about the knife.
Did he figure out my mind was going weird?
I had been feeling off lately.
So?
“Ah, uh, that is…”
Si-Hoo is doing something for me.
So this must be for my sake too.
I don’t know what that syringe contains, but it’s probably a good medicine.
If it’s not, and it’s meant to hurt me, if it’s simply because he despises me…
Then I guess I’d have to die.
“O-Okay. Do as you wish. You’re not going to tell me what kind of injection it is?”
“This is…”
“You’re not doing this because you hate me, right?”
“Absolutely not.”
I have to believe that Si-Hoo is sincere.
There’s no need to consider the opposite scenario.
“Then can’t you tell me something for real? I’m scared.”
“Ugh…”
Si-Hoo is troubled.
“…It’s a memory erasing medicine.”
“Huh? Memory?”
“Yeah.”
He’s about to use that on me right now?
Why?
If he tells me that, then I’ll forget I ever got the memory erasing medicine?
“…Why? Why erase memories?”
Why do I have to forget?
Wait, do my memories seem off because of this medicine?
The deduction of amnesia I had was right.
“What happened? How many times have you used this on me?”
I’m scared.
What really happened?
“S-So, are you trying to erase my memory of seeing that White-Haired Girl? To make me forget?”
Shock waves through me.
He’s not the kind of person to do this.
The memories that were cut away must have been important.
This isn’t the Si-Hoo I know.
“Did I bug you too much? Won’t listen?”
If memories truly disappear, that’s a little too convenient.
“…I’m sorry.”
“You, you… The Si-Hoo I know wouldn’t act like this…”
Si-Hoo wouldn’t behave like this.
Something is wrong.
“Just knowing a little bit leads to this… I’m sorry. Just hold on until I solve everything. It’s almost done.”
“Almost done?”
I see the first glimmer of hope in Si-Hoo’s expression.
“…There’s not much left until the happy ending.”
Happy ending.
Well, if that’s what Si-Hoo says, then it must be true.
I have no idea where the happiness lies.
“It’s a paradise. I’m going to create a paradise for us.”
“Si-Hoo, you…”
This is really weird.
Something is off.
“[Definitely.]”
“……”
Memories buried deep within my subconscious begin to awaken.
It feels strangely familiar.
“I will definitely succeed. By any means, I will save you.”
The syringe.
The medicine.
Familiar combinations.
And a familiar figure comes to mind.
A sick person.
Right.
I was in pain back then, too.
I went to get medicine.
It wasn’t the medicine I wanted.
“So, [listen to me.]”
I have to listen.
“…Yeah.”
I’ll listen.
I have no choice but to.
What was the reason again?
The way he talks like that—only one person does.
Because that person is a kind person.
Who?
So, is Si-Hoo the doctor?
No, that’s not what I mean…
I wanted to say you must listen to the doctor.
Why couldn’t I remember the word “doctor”?
But why is the doctor here?
Ah, for the medicine.
Is he here to give me meds?
Softly.
The syringe pierced my skin.
My memories are going to be erased just like this.
But I didn’t pay the doctor.
The medicine is expensive, after all.
“Why are you here?”
Let’s ask.
Why is the doctor here?
“I didn’t call for you.”
Thanks to that, my memory starts to come back bit by bit.
It’s going to be wiped soon, though.
Think about it.
It doesn’t make sense.
Si-Hoo wouldn’t erase my memory just because something went wrong.
Antipsychotic drugs, delusions, hallucinations, thought disorders.
The notes I found at home come rushing back.
The reason I saw the doctor as Si-Hoo was due to delusions and hallucinations.
So that was it.
The White-Haired Girl and hallucinations?
It must be that way.
It has to be.
Ah, I was worried for nothing.
This isn’t Si-Hoo.
This is the doctor.
He wouldn’t think to erase memories because he dislikes Seo-A.
There’s no reason to confine me at home.
He wouldn’t repetitively erase my memory until he’s satisfied.
“Ah, where is Si-Hoo?”
Where is the real Si-Hoo, though?
If the doctor is in front of me, where is the real Si-Hoo?
“……”
“Please answer…”
Did I possibly kill Si-Hoo?
Seeing him holding the knife earlier, it could be a possibility.
If that’s true, I’d be in deep trouble.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, Si-Hoo.
If the person in front of me is the real Si-Hoo.
Even if the real Si-Hoo is using medicine on me.
If it’s true that he’s doing something strange for my sake.
It’s my fault.
It’s because of me that Si-Hoo ended up like this.
“You’re a doctor.”
You must be a doctor.
How did Si-Hoo get into this situation?
The drug is taking effect.
My strength is draining away.
Memory erasing medicine.
How convenient.
Si-Hoo’s expression revealed the despair of someone who had committed an undesired act.
Despair is apparent in someone who can’t control themselves.
Why are you turning out like me?
“Happy ending…”
It must exist.
There must be a way to be happy.
I think I was happy once.
Back then, I felt happier.
What was it like back then?
What was it like… back then?
Ah, it was definitely with Si-Hoo…
Something we did together, right?
Ah haha, I can’t remember.
But it’s a fact I was happy.
Even if where I lived wasn’t great, I was satisfied.
But who shattered that happiness?
It feels like someone kicked Seo-A into an abyss.
Si-Hoo tried to hold onto Seo-A’s hand.
He followed her down to save her, gripping her hand tight.
And now, I fall freely, without anyone pushing me down.
Into the deeper descent.
It’s too late now.
No one seems to be able to escape.
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