I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Sui**de

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‘I want to say thank you when we meet again.’

I woke up to the sound of the alarm.

As soon as I opened my eyes, the familiar ceiling welcomed me.

Even though I was awake, I lay there for a while, unable to immediately get out of bed.

The morning sunlight tickled my eyes, and the gentle chirping of birds resonated in the air.

It was the same kind of morning routine.

Despite the scenery being no different from usual…

Why was that?

Tears flowed down my cheeks without my knowing.

It wasn’t sadness.

Yet, the tears rolling down my face showed no signs of stopping.

It felt as if I had awoken from a long dream.

But I couldn’t recall what the dream was about.

“…I have to go to school.”

Eventually, I gave up on recalling the dream that eluded me and got out of bed.

Believing that today, too, would unfold into a mind-numbingly peaceful daily life.

Rubbing my sleepy eyes as I washed up, I checked my phone for messages.

[I’m going ahead since I have duty today.]

Upon seeing the name of the sender, I stared blankly at the screen.

A friend who always walked to school with me.

A childhood friend who lived next door since we were little.

It seemed I’d have to go to school alone today.

Though it was a trivial matter that I shouldn’t worry about, I couldn’t shake the heaviness from my heart at that moment.

For a brief moment, I felt a surge of desire to see that guy’s face.

“Ugh…”

I immediately shook my head and tried to dismiss such thoughts.

Kim Shinwoo, have you finally gone crazy?

Why would you feel this way about someone who is essentially family…?

Despite my efforts to deny it, her face wouldn’t leave my mind.

After hastily finishing my meal, I changed into my school uniform and left the house.

The view of the street came into view.

Even in the early morning, the busy modern life was bustling around.

Office workers commuting, students heading to school, and kids holding their mothers’ hands on their way to kindergarten.

The scenery was alive and vibrant.

As I stood there for a moment, staring blankly, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Was the world always this peaceful…?

No, peace is supposed to be the norm.

What kind of world was I expecting?

Scenes from the dream flitted through my mind.

Giant monsters, villains wearing animal masks, burning cities, and people groaning in pain.

It seemed that today’s dream had been a terrible nightmare.

Perhaps that’s why it felt different when I woke up in the morning.

Yet, instead of feeling relieved, the sense of suffocation only grew stronger.

I surely felt like I was missing something important.

“Hey. Don’t just stand there like an idiot, step aside.”

A rough voice called from behind.

Turning my head, I saw a familiar-faced girl standing there.

“Hong Yeonhwa.”

“Come on, who told you to call me by my name? Getting pretty cheeky, huh?”

Despite her rather harsh tone, a smile lingered on her lips.

“By the way, what brings you here all alone today? Where’s the mutt? It used to stick to you like gum.”

“He had duty today, so he left early.”

“Oh. Looks like you’ve been abandoned. Poor thing.”

Yeonhwa always called my childhood friend names like ‘mutt’ or ‘dumb dog’ because of her messy cream-colored hair.

“Well, I guess it is what it is. I’ll have to accompany you today as a special favor!”

“Okay, then.”

“Ha. Look at you. You should be grateful I’m doing this, yet you’re still acting all cocky.”

She may have seemed like a mean delinquent at first, but she wasn’t a bad person; just a bit awkward in expressing herself.

I headed to school alongside Yeonhwa, and even while doing so, the unease in my mind wouldn’t dissipate, so I asked her.

“Yeonhwa.”

“Yeah?”

“Have you… ever played with fire in the past?”

“…What?”

Yeonhwa’s expression soured immediately.

“What nonsense are you spouting? Seriously.”

“No. It’s nothing.”

“You crazy bastard. Have you lost your marbles?”

Maybe I really had.

Why was I acting this way today?

Even when we reached the school gate, I was still desperately trying to think of what I was so focused on.

Without even knowing what it was I had forgotten.

“Oh. Look, your girlfriend is passing by.”

“What?”

I raised my head at Yeonhwa’s words and frowned.

“Why is Si-hyun my girlfriend? I told you not to say weird things!”

“Look at you getting all serious. Can’t I even joke? But then again, your girlfriend isn’t a nerd; she’s a mutt.”

“Neither is true.”

“You’re like a light novel protagonist.”

There, walking directly toward us, was Han Si-hyun.

Not just her, but two others were walking on either side of her, a guy and a girl.

The face of the person on the right was familiar.

He was the student council president who always stood in front of everyone during school events.

But who was the boy on the left?

Si-hyun greeted us with a cool smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey, nerd. Is that your boyfriend next to you?”

The student council president replied to Yeonhwa’s playful question.

“He’s my younger brother. Our Si-hyun isn’t allowed to date without my permission.”

“Unnie, stop saying weird things.”

“But it’s only natural. I haven’t even had a boyfriend yet; how could I let my brother date first?”

I briefly glanced at the boy beside Si-hyun.

From the color of his name tag, he seemed to be a first-year underclassman.

Si-hyun pointed to her younger brother and introduced him.

“This is my brother, Si-hoon.”

Our gazes met, Si-hoon and I exchanged an awkward nod.

With his red eyes, he gave off an odd yet intriguing vibe.

In the awkward atmosphere, we merely nodded our heads in greeting.

The student council president smiled as he spoke.

“Si-hyun, you go with your friends. Si-hoon and I will go together.”

“Okay, got it.”

The second-year students had classes in the annex, so naturally, the three siblings parted ways as they passed through the school gate.

With Si-hyun naturally joining in, our group became three.

As we climbed the stairs, I asked once more.

“Do you guys remember what kind of dream you had last night?”

“Dream? I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

Yeonhwa casually replied she didn’t know, and Si-hyun thought for a moment, resting her chin on her hand before answering.

“Well, I feel like I had a very memorable dream, but it got blurry after waking up.”

“Really…?”

Once we entered the classroom, the lively atmosphere enveloped us.

Class 2-A was as lively as ever.

I immediately scanned the room but found the seat’s owner was nowhere to be seen.

I expected to see her when I came to class. Where could she be?

I decided to ask the class representative about her whereabouts.

Our class rep, Kyung Ah, was busily distributing handouts at the podium.

“Kyung Ah, have you seen Hana?”

“Hmm? Hana…? I think she was in the class just a bit ago.”

She seemed to think for a moment but then gave a potential solution.

“Why don’t you ask the classmate who shared duty with her?”

“Who was today’s duty person?”

“I think it was Hana and Valentina.”

“Got it. Thanks for letting me know.”

Looking around, I was relieved to see Valentina in the classroom.

True to her great sociability, she was chatting animatedly with the other girls in class.

I approached her slowly and struck up a conversation.

“Valentina, are you free for a moment?”

“Oh, Shinwoo! Of course, I am!”

Valentina immediately greeted me with a bright smile.

“What’s up?”

“Do you know where Hana is? I heard you were on duty together.”

“Oh, you mean Hana? She said she had to go somewhere after putting the cleaning supplies in the storeroom. I’m not quite sure where, though.”

“Hmm… I understand for now.”

In the end, I couldn’t figure out where she was.

I suppose I’ll just have to wait.

She’d definitely show up by the time the roll call started, but I couldn’t shake the thought that I needed to find her myself and see with my own eyes.

…Should I go out and look for her?

I had about ten minutes until the roll call, so I could just take a quick glance around.

With that thought in mind, I left the classroom and walked down the hallway.

Even in the crowded space filled with students, Hana was nowhere to be found.

In reality, I had a much simpler solution.

I could just call her on my phone. That would be far easier and would put my mind at ease.

As I continued walking down the hallway and reached for my phone to make the call…

I bumped into a girl emerging from around the corner.

“Oh.”

“Oops!”

I locked eyes with the girl I bumped into.

“Sophie.”

“Oh, Shinwoo! Good morning!”

She was a bright-spirited girl with a cheery smile.

The moment I looked into her blue eyes, a chilling sense of déjà vu shot through me.

Exactly the same scenario where I had met Sophie in the past.

But when was that?

Suddenly, a headache hit me, and my head throbbed.

Sophie looked at me with a concerned expression.

“Are you okay? Is it because of me?”

“No, I’m fine. By the way, Sophie, do you know where Hana is?”

“Yeah, I saw her earlier; she said she was going to the rooftop for a bit.”

The rooftop. Finally, I found out where Hana was.

I felt a strong intuition that I needed to see Hana in person to resolve this lingering feeling.

I immediately thanked Sophie and headed for the rooftop.

As I climbed the stairs toward the rooftop, I abruptly stopped at the top floor where the stairs ended.

There, perched on the stairs, sat a girl.

A dreamy girl whose lavender hair suited her perfectly.

“Shinwoo. Hi.”

“…Longinus.”

A name that seemed completely at odds with any ordinary student.

Yet she wore the same school uniform as the other kids.

She looked different from the Longinus in my memory.

“Hana is beyond this door.”

“……”

“Are you ready to meet her?”

I slowly nodded my head.

Longinus gave a slight…

A very slight smile.

It was the first time I had witnessed her smile.

“You really did it.”

“Yeah.”

“I believed in you.”

“Yeah.”

“Go on.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I passed by Longinus and opened the door to the rooftop.

The sky, a refreshing blue, pierced my heart.

The wind blew away all of my anxieties.

On the rooftop stood a girl with her back turned to me.

The moment I saw her back, I understood completely.

I finally succeeded.

I had saved the girl destined to die.

I felt grateful for the future where you could live happily without dying.

Of course, there could still be despair and pain that obstructed the path here.

This world wasn’t an absolute paradise or heaven.

Humanity remained imperfect, and there was no messiah to save us.

But it’s okay.

Even with endless failures, things would gradually change.

I would keep striving for happiness and enjoy it somehow.

“Hana!!”

At my call, the girl finally turned around.

The face of my childhood friend, a perfect match for what I remembered, but her expression was now devoid of darkness.

“…Shinwoo? How did you know I’d be here?”

Hana tilted her head upon seeing me.

Only then did I realize.

A completely new world. It wasn’t strange that she wouldn’t remember the past.

In fact, it was a good thing.

For Hana, the original memories must have been days filled with nothing but pain.

It was just a bit regretful that we couldn’t recall the memories we piled up together.

Shaking my head with a bittersweet smile.

“Just thought I’d come check on you to see if you were slacking off on duty.”

“Seriously, what are you saying? I worked really hard on my duty, you know?”

“Let’s go. It’s almost time for the roll call.”

No need to bring it up.

Let’s just leave it as a vivid dream.

The dream I worked hard for you.

The one where I struggled for my childhood friend who tried to take her own life.

A dream that would be embarrassing to explain to anyone.

Just as I turned to leave the rooftop…

Hana called out to me from behind.

“Kim Shinwoo.”

“…Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Ah, that’s what it was.

‘I want to say thank you when we meet again.’

It was then that I realized everything and shed tears.

And with a smiling face, I replied.

“Me too. Thank you so much.”

-The End-