I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Sui**de

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Snap!

…What was that?

Right in front of me was the science teacher.

Judging by the hand gesture, was that a finger snap?

“Hm. It seems one time isn’t enough.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s nothing. By the way, are you feeling a bit more awake now?”

I wasn’t sure.

My head felt foggy.

It felt like I had been forced awake from a deep sleep.

“I suddenly collapsed.”

“…Me?”

The teacher nodded.

As I looked around, I realized my line of sight was lower than usual.

I had been sitting down.

Why did I suddenly lose consciousness?

The only thing I could remember was my chronic illness.

But something felt off.

I had a nagging feeling that I was missing something important.

Well, it was probably just my imagination.

I should get up quickly.

There was no reason for me to stay here any longer.

As I leaned against the wall to stand up, my head suddenly spun.

Ah.

I lost strength in my legs and collapsed.

“Oh no! Are you alright?”

Fortunately, the teacher caught me, so I didn’t fall.

What a kind person.

They kept using polite language with me, a student.

Wait, is that bad?

If they hadn’t held me, would I have fallen and hurt myself?

Of course, just falling wouldn’t lead to suicide.

“Looks like you’re not feeling well.”

“Haha… You’re right.”

“It’s better if you head back to your dorm to rest.”

“Yes, thank you.”

I declined the teacher’s help and took slow steps.

Then I suddenly remembered and asked.

“What about the notebook you said you found?”

“Huh? The notebook?”

“Um… Never mind.”

I could have sworn I heard something about that.

My memory was hazy.

Ah, my head hurts.

“I couldn’t find the notebook.”

“Oh, then I must have left it somewhere else.”

“I see.”

Thankfully, my excuse seemed to have worked.

My plan is perfect.

Though I messed it up by failing at suicide.

“Oh?”

I happened to glance out the window and tilted my head.

Why is the sun already setting?

Has that much time passed?

I could have sworn it was lunchtime when I left the dorm.

I guess the painkillers made my head fuzzy, causing me to misjudge.

“Student, what’s your name?”

“Um… Why do you ask?”

“Just in case I find the notebook, I need to know your name and class.”

I see.

“I’m Yu Hana from 2nd year, Class A.”

“Hana. Got it.”

“Then I’ll be going.”

I bowed my head in greeting and was about to leave the science lab.

“Oh, wait a moment. Take this with you.”

The teacher went into the supplies room and came back with something.

It was a bottle of pills.

“What… is this?”

It looked really suspicious.

A clear bottle with red pills and no label at all.

Am I going to die if I take this?

Well, that would actually be good.

“It’s a multivitamin. Just take one a day.”

Oh. What did I just say?

I shouldn’t have said that.

I don’t need to take vitamins.

Even if I get healthy, it doesn’t help me in any immediate way.

Still, should I just take it?

I have no reason to refuse the kindness.

“Thank you.”

“Take care, Hana. And see you next time.”

“Yes.”

The teacher was really considerate, paying attention to the students.

Did they appear in the original story?

I can’t quite remember.

The non-combat subject teachers are pretty minor, so they probably didn’t.

When I stepped out of the main building, it was already dark.

Oh no, I didn’t manage to get the poison after all.

Instead, I ended up with vitamins.

Let’s give up on the idea of suicide by poison.

The science lab’s security was surprisingly tight.

Especially since I had just made a connection with the science teacher; I might end up complicating things for myself.

So now I need to find another way.

How do I commit suicide?

Lost in thought, I found myself back at the dorm.

*

“This is bad.”

Even after getting into my room, I still couldn’t decide.

I really want to commit suicide today.

Because tomorrow is Monday, which means I have to go to school.

I looked at the vitamins I received sitting on the table.

Should I just take one?

It wouldn’t cause any major issues to take just one.

I opened the pill bottle and pulled out one capsule.

It was half white and half red, looking like a typical capsule.

“Yum.”

I popped it in my mouth.

My eyes widened in shock.

I quickly grabbed the bottle to confirm.

…This tastes like strawberries!

How interesting. How can a capsule have flavor?

Everything else I’ve taken didn’t have a taste, just a smooth texture.

There were no other particular impressions.

What should I expect from a multivitamin anyway?

Now it’s time to think again.

A way to quietly kill myself without special preparations.

It’s surprisingly complicated.

If I die inside the room, I can probably solve most issues.

No one is likely to come looking for me, and even if they did, they’d probably think I went out if I just locked the door.

To put it plainly, I could simply keep banging my head against the corner of the closet and die.

That would be a rather extreme method, though.

What would be the best option?

I thought long and hard.

Finally, I made my decision.

Yes, of course. If I’m going to commit suicide, hanging is the way to go.

It’s the quietest way to die.

And it’s not a complicated method either.

The only thing I need is one item.

Just a rope.

“…A rope?”

Is there a rope in the dorm?

I scanned Yu Hana’s room.

Would a typical student have a rope?

I don’t think so. Something about it feels ominous.

Let’s see if I can find one.

I rifled through every corner of the room searching for a rope.

After about ten minutes of this torture, I had to admit defeat.

Yeah. A girl isn’t likely to stockpile rope.

Even if something like that was needed, everyone uses cable ties nowadays.

“Hmm. Wait a moment.”

Then I can just use something else instead of rope, right?

It’s just that rope is synonymous with hanging, but there’s no need to obsess over it.

Let’s start with cable ties.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any.

What about a belt?

That should be something I’d have.

Nope.

It seems Yu Hana wasn’t very interested in fashion.

What else is there?

Something similar to a rope that I can use to hang myself…

“Oh.”

I can use that!

And it’s definitely something I must have.

As a student, I’m required to wear it.

And sure enough.

I found it within just 10 seconds.

A necktie.

Holding this made me feel strange.

It is indeed meant to be worn around the neck, but not for that reason.

What if I wear this and go to the academy?

Instead of committing suicide, I could just live like this.

I immediately shook my head.

Even if I did that, what awaits me isn’t a happy school life but rather a miserable end.

The only way to escape the original ending is to commit suicide right here and now.

Yes. Let’s die.

This is the right choice.

First, I need to tie a knot.

I’m not quite sure how to tie a necktie, though.

I can just search the internet.

There are various methods that kindly show you how to tie a necktie.

No, that’s not the point.

Right now, I’m not tying a necktie; I’m tying a knot for suicide.

I found a specific method called the “Evans Knot.”

It even has another name: the professor’s knot.

They say it’s named that because it’s the knot used for hanging.

Sounds a bit creepy.

Still, it was exactly the shape I was looking for.

Following a video, I tried to tie the necktie.

“The tie is too short…”

That was the limit of the necktie.

I somehow managed to complete the shape, but I wondered if it would work.

I felt a bit anxious, but I decided to give it a try anyway.

I tied the rope tightly where I had pre-planned, leaving the chair in place.

I pulled on the rope hard. Surprisingly, it held up quite well.

This should be fine, right?

I stood on the chair.

The rope was so short that I had to tiptoe just to reach my neck.

After a struggle, I managed to get my head through the rope.

It was difficult to keep tiptoeing.

The strange thing was that I didn’t feel much emotion.

If I had to say, it was a sense of relief?

What if I don’t come back to life this time?

What if something got twisted because I possessed this body?

I don’t know.

I just have a feeling that it will be okay.

“Phew… Good.”

A short deep breath.

I lowered my toes.

My feet left the chair and hung in mid-air.

Gravity pulled my body down.

The only thing supporting me was the necktie around my neck.

Blood rushed to my head.

My breath was restricted, and I couldn’t breathe.

“Gah…! Gack!”

Sounds I didn’t want to make came out automatically.

The instinct to survive made my hands reach for the necktie.

As my flailing feet kicked the chair away, it fell to the side.

There’s no turning back now.

Blood surged upward, but it couldn’t rise because of the necktie blocking my throat.

If someone looked at my face right now, it would probably be pale from lack of blood.

I was slowly dying.

Eventually, if blood doesn’t flow to my brain, even my thoughts will stop.

Before that, I might suffocate from not being able to breathe.

My thoughts grew slower and slower.

I opened my mouth to gasp for air.

Of course, air wouldn’t pass through my throat.

My heart felt like it was going to burst.

My head was hot, on the verge of exploding.

Am I really going to die like this?

And then it happened.

An exhilarating sensation struck my entire body.

Electricity. Euphoria.

It was pleasure, not pain.

I’m going crazy.

This indescribable pleasure entangles my mind.

It’s not comparable to the painkillers.

Give me more. Just a bit more.

I want to live in this happiness forever.

I don’t need to commit suicide.

The protagonist? Yu Hana? I don’t need any of it.

Just like this.

For life.

Crunch.

Drop.

Crash-!!

I don’t know how much time passed.

Finally, I understood what had happened.

The necktie ultimately couldn’t serve as a substitute for a rope.

Its short length couldn’t support my weight and snapped.

I crashed down into the void.

My legs throbbed. Did I break something?

But that didn’t matter.

I was on the floor, merging with the chair, lost in ecstasy.

Even though the necktie had snapped, I remained dazed from the aftermath.

“Heh heh heh…”

Laughter came out involuntarily.

Was suicide really this blissful?

I think I lay there for about 30 minutes.

Suddenly, immense pain surged through me.

It was a seizure.

No.

Don’t take away my ecstasy.

Of all types, it had to be the worst kind.

It felt like my whole body was being crushed by a compressor.

Would I end up torn apart and my bones shattered into a tiny dot?

That vague thought sparked a pain in me.

Hurry.

I need painkillers…

“…Huh?”

But something was odd.

The pain gradually began to change.

Into that exhilarating and euphoric pleasure I felt earlier.