Chapter 25 - Smile A Little
Translator: Elisia
Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle
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The Yoo Seo-Ah you knew has long disappeared.
It would be better to kill her here.
Think about the future.
How long will you let the doctor hold you back?
Han Si-Hoo, get a grip.
It’s better to deal with that wraith now.
Only the shell of Yoo Seo-Ah remains.
She’s rotting because of the drugs.
No one will know.
Just say she died because of the drugs.
Do you really think this is what your friend looks like?
Licking up the spilled drugs off the floor?
She’s just another addict you’d see in the slums.
“Si-Hoo.”
I see Seo-Ah smiling brightly.
She must be asking for more drugs.
“Here, a present.”
No, it wasn’t.
The gift was a paper crane folded from paper.
It was like the one I folded as a thank-you for the ribbon before.
Back then, the origami book had been torn, so I couldn’t fold it properly.
But now, I have something useful—a phone.
A useless gift.
Throw it in the trash.
She wouldn’t react anyway.
As long as she gets the drugs, she wouldn’t care what you do.
That’s how it was even before she came to you.
What might she have done?
She must have needed a lot of money.
Han Si-Hoo, you know better than anyone, don’t you?
“Si-Hoo?”
I could sense the falseness in her tone.
Han Si-Hoo, you’re more sensitive to those signs than anyone else.
Yoo Seo-Ah only tries for one thing: to use drugs.
She’s not giving you a gift for your sake.
[Status Window]
Level: 26
Health: 1291, Mana: 910…
Skills: Swordsmanship IX, Magic VI…
Status: Purification Penalty (5 hours)
It’s because of [Purification].
To be precise, Purification I.
There’s a reason it’s still a level 1 skill.
I was very hesitant to use it directly.
Purification is like a vacuum cleaner.
It sucks in all the filth.
In return, dust accumulates inside.
Han Si-Hoo is suffering from a similar penalty.
“Not satisfied?”
The magic clinging to Yoo Seo-Ah.
A weapon she had said she couldn’t make is now in her hands.
That sticky, black magic, filled with malice.
I shouldn’t have used Purification.
Seo-Ah hated it too.
I didn’t mean to treat her like a monster…
No?
What nonsense.
The voice in my head kept whispering endlessly.
If I use Purification more, the skill level will rise, and it might get better, but not now.
“A-hat…”
That’s not the laugh you used to know.
It’s because of the drugs.
Shut up.
“Ah, thanks for the gift.”
I came to my senses and answered.
Yoo Seo-Ah looked flustered, staring at Han Si-Hoo, who was just standing there.
The Purification penalty was more bothersome than I imagined.
Even sleep didn’t completely erase it.
It was similar to when I used Purification on a monster.
The voice was simple—kill, destroy—but after the unpleasant experience, I decided not to use it anymore.
At least with it passively on, I only feel a slight discomfort.
How long do you plan to keep Yoo Seo-Ah alive?
You might find me unpleasant, but I’m not wrong.
Your training, your growth, even your relationships with people—they’re all falling apart.
It’s not good for you to keep ignoring the messages from others.
“Si-Hoo.”
If you leave her like this, Yoo Seo-Ah will only continue to suffer.
You know how painful it is when you can’t even control yourself.
Let’s strangle her and end it here.
If you don’t want that, stab her with a knife.
Or you could poison her, tell her it’s medicine.
Poison or the drugs she’s using now, they’re not that different.
“Si-Hoo, can I have some more drugs…?”
Seo-Ah came back.
It’s time to sleep.
But I can’t seem to sleep well.
To be honest, you’re tired of this too, right?
How long are you going to keep this up?
Yoo Seo-Ah is hoping you’ll kill her too.
She told you that before.
Please kill me.
“Here.”
Giving her drugs means you’re killing her slowly.
New wounds appeared on her arms and hands.
She’s even wrapped her hands in bandages.
You think drugs will heal her?
You know it’s not a cure.
“Thanks.”
It’s easier when you let her use sedatives.
You’re just following the advice of Lee Yu-Ram.
Let’s just kill her.
There’s no need to feel guilty.
You heard what Seo-Ah said.
She mumbled that dying might not be so bad.
That’s the real gift.
Shut up.
You’re not even cleaning up the used syringes.
You’re just lying around.
She’s trash.
Even she called herself garbage.
Just a waste.
Shut your mouth.
I’m just telling the truth.
The Academy’s entrance ceremony is soon.
What do you think will happen if Yoo Seo-Ah goes there in this state?
Do you trust the Academy?
– “Now for the weather. Tomorrow, high winds and rain are expected in District 1 of Old Seoul, where a Gate alert has been issued…”
Seo-Ah is staring blankly at the broadcast screen.
“Si-Hoo.”
She suddenly speaks.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll pay back the debt.”
– “Estimated damage is approximately 5 billion won…”
It seems she was worried about the money she borrowed.
“No, keep the money. I gave it to you. You might need it later.”
“……”
She looks like she’s about to do something but ends up doing nothing.
What frustrates Yoo Seo-Ah the most is herself.
She’s inherently someone who doesn’t belong in a place like this.
“…Si-Hoo, what do you want to do the most?”
– “Typhoon path prediction…”
“What do I want to do?”
To treat Seo-Ah.
To bring her back to how she used to be.
That’s the priority right now.
“Something you wish for.”
I want to undo the choice.
I want to go back to the past and save Seo-Ah.
I want to save her from the evil that crept in from somewhere.
But now it’s too late.
If this were a story, it would be nearing the end.
You can probably feel that Yoo Seo-Ah’s story is coming to a close.
Maybe it should have ended already.
Shut up.
There’s still hope.
“…Going back to the way things were.”
Back to the time when nothing was wrong.
Even if problems arose, we could face them together.
It’s painful to see my friend falling apart.
She keeps overlapping with the past.
That bright smile from long ago.
Now, it’s just a silly grin fueled by drugs.
I think back to the past.
– “I won today, right? I came first, didn’t I?”
I remember the race we had.
It’s hard to believe now, seeing how she stays locked up indoors.
– “Did you think I forgot your birthday? I actually prepared something, were you surprised?”
A birthday memory.
A small cake I had saved up bit by bit.
There was always a good friend waiting when I came home.
I could have called her family.
But now, it’s all in the past.
Back then, I was happy.
But what’s her state now?
My childhood friend has lost her mind.
Her body is covered in wounds from God knows what.
“Back to the way…”
Yoo Seo-Ah mutters, turning her gaze back to the screen.
“Back to the original state…”
She mutters again.
That’s what Yoo Seo-Ah wants too.
She covers half her face with her fingers, as if deep in thought.
The bandages wrapped around her hand and the new plasters stand out.
“I’ll try to make it happen.”
***
First, I have to change my voice.
It’s too languid, the tone too dull.
Partly because I’m tired, and partly because of the sedatives.
I practice in front of the mirror in the room.
I close the door and speak in a small voice.
“Ah, ah.”
There’s still time before the Academy entrance ceremony.
Something will work out before then.
Let’s help Yoo Seo-Ah regain her bright self.
That’s what Si-Hoo wants.
“Hi.”
Smile, naturally, just smile a bit.
Your specialty is smiling.
There’s not much else to show off, anyway.
I can still smile.
But it feels like the strength around my eyes is weakening.
Let’s recreate the bright smile, the complete opposite of how Yoo Seo-Ah is now.
Recall the good memories.
Times when Yoo Seo-Ah would smile.
How did she smile during those happy days?
“Hi. Si-Hoo.”
Wanna play together?
Did Yoo Seo-Ah say things like that when she was little?
“Hi.”
Thankfully, I remember how to smile.
I smile every day, after all.
I smile better than last time, when I went to borrow money from Han Si-Hoo.
It’s pathetic.
I think that, but I try to maintain the expression.
It’s not going well.
It’s a uniquely stupid-looking cheerful smile.
It’s different from the expression soaked in pleasure.
[5 hours 11 minutes]
There’s plenty of time, so it’s okay to smile.
Not that I ever really stopped smiling anyway.
It’s rare for Yoo Seo-Ah to face people without smiling.
Some people struggle more when they’re not smiling.
Yoo Seo-Ah is one of those people.
She’s always had a bright personality.
“…Even while hitting and stabbing, staying cheerful like that is…”
It’s strange.
Isn’t it scary?
Actually, I even laughed a little while getting hit.
Am I a scary person?
“Maybe I should start exercising again.”
Of course, I wouldn’t match up to the Awakeners, no matter how much I try.
But it would be like going back to when Yoo Seo-Ah was more energetic.
Overexerting myself would dull the effects of the drugs.
[5 hours 9 minutes]
That’s why I haven’t gone outside much since I started taking the drugs.
There were frequent warnings that the drug’s effects could wear off.
I feel sorry toward Han Si-Hoo.
I couldn’t even repay him for everything he’s given me.
I just stayed here, letting him watch his broken friend.
At this rate, I really am trash.
Being a burden is a problem.
It’s wise not to hold Han Si-Hoo back.
“Again.”
I try to smile.
Yoo Seo-Ah didn’t always smile the same way.
Let’s try to imitate her smile.
The problem is, fear has seeped into my expression.
I look like I lack confidence.
Even though Yoo Seo-Ah had always been so confident, even while living in the slums.
“Smile.”
Was it from the moment I couldn’t overcome the drugs?
Or when I pushed Han Si-Hoo away?
Maybe it was when I admitted my own incompetence?
“Again.”
I want to smash the mirror.
Why are you still here?
You’re still alive and walking around.
It feels like the reflection is cursing me.
“Again.”
I try to recall the happy memories from the past.
The doctor giving me drugs.
I still remember that 100-hour dose.
“If I do well… I can use the drugs.”
[4 hours 54 minutes]
I have an extra syringe.
Han Si-Hoo doesn’t know how much I need to use.
It’s wise to keep some aside for moments like this.
That’s why I saved this syringe.
Smile properly.
Heh.
Hehehe.
Ahat.
Now I’m smiling well.
I look happy.
Swoosh.
[8 hours 1 minute]
Feels good.