I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle

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Life is inherently suffering.

Perhaps the only currency humans can truly pay is suffering.

It is through suffering that we buy happiness.

Most people live this way.

They endure the suffering of labor and purchase happiness with money.

Suffering comes first, and happiness follows.

But there are cases where happiness is bought on credit.

Eventually, the price must be paid.

It’s a debt of suffering.

I, too, have accumulated a lot of debt.

The pleasure provided by the drugs never cost me any suffering.

It feels like an inherited debt.

A debt I couldn’t refuse to inherit.

Since everything is already ruined, I keep borrowing more and more, piling on debt endlessly.

Until I hit my limit.

Until the point where even paying back just the interest becomes impossible.

Swoosh.

But there is a way!

A way to transfer the debt I owe to someone else.

All the weapons I create are made entirely of suffering.

It’s the suffering I was supposed to endure.

If someone else takes that suffering in my place, I can repay my debt.

Crunch.

Give and take.

When I inflict suffering, the other party receives it.

It’s strange that I hadn’t realized this simple law until now.

I killed the suppression team that came to kill Researcher A.

At the time, I didn’t realize it, but because of that, I finally began to regain my sanity.

The one who couldn’t even speak finally opened her mouth.

Because I repaid some of the interest.

Thunk.

That’s why I killed the doctor.

I shared with him the suffering I was meant to endure.

“Hehehe.”

I stabbed, stabbed, and stabbed again.

The doctor was a good person.

That’s why I feel guilt.

This guilt is the price I pay for this excessive happiness.

[2%]

It probably means 2,000 hours.

At 1%, it had already exceeded 1,000 hours.

Or maybe not.

Two thousand isn’t a small number.

But if it’s not time, I have no idea what it means.

-Static.

The radio, which I thought was just a decoration, suddenly activates.

A voice fills the previously quiet study.

-Monsters have been released in a nearby laboratory.

It’s the doctor.

-Since Miss Seo-Ah used up all the drugs meant for the residents near the factory, they have no means to defend themselves if the monsters attack.

It’s unmistakably the doctor’s voice.

I just killed him moments ago.

The corpse is still there.

But the voice doesn’t stop.

-I trust Miss Seo-Ah will handle it.

It sounds like he’s telling me to take care of the monsters he released.

-I got the idea from how Miss Seo-Ah escaped. Thank you.

What did I just kill, then?

If it wasn’t the doctor, then who?

He was dressed like a doctor.

Was it a pre-recorded message?

Or perhaps this wasn’t the real doctor but some sort of doll?

“What did he just say…”

My mind isn’t working well.

I tried to understand the doctor’s words but failed.

“Ah, he said monsters are coming.”

That’s right.

He’s asking me to protect the residents.

“So?”

What am I supposed to do?

I’m busy repaying my debt.

Even just paying the interest is overwhelming.

So… let’s transfer the suffering to the monsters.

They’ll repay my debt in my place.

And I’ll be happy.

“Hahaha, hahahaha!”

I’m happy.

I ended up using all the drugs in the study.

In fact, isn’t that why I killed the doctor?

Killing him after I was done using him was always part of the plan.

There are drugs in the drawer I just opened.

Ah, it’s those.

The stronger drugs he mentioned.

Good.

Let’s take more drugs first and think about it later.

“Heheheh…”

I have too much debt.

It’s a problem caused by endlessly buying pleasure.

Other people will pay for it in my place.

People who don’t care if I’m dumped in a garbage heap or treated as less than human.

The people who created this wretched society are at fault.

The people who made Yoo Seo-Ah take on this debt.

All I need to do is repay it.

In the mirror at the entrance of the study, a monster stares back at me.

It looks like Seo-Ah but isn’t Seo-Ah.

Haha, no wonder my humanity was stripped away.

Even if I were a researcher, I’d want to study this.

What’s wrong with those eyes?

It’s strange no matter how you look at it.

There’s a reason I want to smash the mirror.

-It’s all your fault.

The Seo-Ah in the mirror speaks with a smile.

-It’s all your fault.

It’s not.

-It happened because of your mistakes.

No, it didn’t.

-It’s all your fault.

“All my fault? Don’t make me laugh. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be here. Do you even understand how much, how much, how much I’ve been through?”

– It’s because you made a mistake.

“I didn’t make a mistake. It only looked like one, but everything worked out in the end, didn’t it?

Looking at it objectively, I was right. Isn’t it fair to judge based on the results from the start?

Those who insist I was wrong are fools. Even if my actions were wrong, it’s because the situation pushed me into it.

It wasn’t my fault.

Anyone else in that situation would’ve done the same.

It wasn’t just me.

No, in fact, I’m a genius.

I don’t make mistakes.”

– Then why did you do it?

“Why do I always have to make excuses?

I had a reason—there was always a reason.

But people don’t even bother listening to my reasons before blaming me.

They don’t care about understanding me, so what’s the point of explaining?

It’s pointless. I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.”

Because people hate me.

Because they despise me.

Because I’m a monster.

Because I’m no different from a monster.

– Exactly!

If the world is what made me like this, why should I hate myself?

No, it’s everyone else’s fault, not mine.

I didn’t end up like this on my own.

So there’s no reason to blame me, right?

You don’t have the right to blame me.

Isn’t that it?

You’re nothing. What do you even know?

You’re just dust, floating aimlessly in the wind, deluded into thinking you understand the universe.

Your face is sand—crush it to pieces.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I’m sorry I was born.

It’s my fault this world is broken.

If I hadn’t existed, if I had just died properly, everything would have been fine.

I’m sorry for still being alive like this…”

The mirror distorts.

Or maybe I just smashed it a moment ago.

“The researchers are laughing at me.

They’re mocking me!

But I’ll kill them.

I’ll rip them to shreds!

If I do that, will you like me again?

If I do that, will everything be okay?

I know I was wrong.

But if I kill the monsters, I can be forgiven!

I can, right?”

Let’s go kill the monsters.

Quickly, quickly, quickly.

***

Rusty metal sheets, broken pipes, and grease crawling along the surfaces enter my vision.

Rust streaks the walls, and blood flows along the roads.

The monsters appear.

They feel like friends in a way.

Aside from killing people, they haven’t really done anything wrong.

They even seem like they consider me a friend, showing no signs of attacking.

But I’m the kind of trash who attacks friends freely!

Sorry, Si-Hoo!

I’m trash.

Crunch.

Black branches pierce through the monsters.

These branches represent the tree of suffering.

All the weapons I create are made of suffering.

That’s why wielding them usually results in leveling up.

I’ve killed dozens.

They died without resistance.

[3%]

It went up a bit.

This isn’t from the effects of the drugs.

This is the repayment rate.

It’s a figure that shows how much debt I’ve repaid.

When it hits 100%, I’ll be free.

I’ll pay off all the debt and become a free person.

Freedom.

But come to think of it, freedom is a burdensome word.

Because I don’t really need freedom.

Why didn’t I just stay trapped and die?

I can’t even distinguish myself from a monster.

A pathetic existence that piles up debt and tries to push it onto others.

I don’t know why I’m even alive.

“It must’ve been because I was a monster.

So, so, no matter what I went through… it was deserved, wasn’t it?

What they did to me… they must’ve had their reasons.

Die.

Die.

Just die.”

Boom.

The sound of a monster exploding.

“Really… I’m so, so sorry.”

I’m like this because I have a debt to repay.

I deserved everything that happened to me.

I’m sorry.

But I didn’t want to stay there.

I’m not a monster—no, I’m not, I’m not!

When did Seo-Ah become a monster?

Why? Why? Why?

“I didn’t want to use the drugs, so why?”

The reason I used the drugs is simple.

It’s time to level up!

I killed so many monsters.

I’m a good person—so good it’s a problem.

There’s Si-Hoo, over there.

For some reason, he’s covered in blood, panting as if he’s been running.

He looks this way.

His expression is slightly bright yet filled with fear—it’s striking.

“Seo-Ah?”

He calls my name.

Why?

He’s holding a sword.

It’s drenched in blood.

A sword?

A blade?

He plans to stab me again.

When I come to my senses, I’ll already be pierced.

I’m scared, scared, scared.

Sorry for betraying you.

Please spare me.

But still, he holds the sword.

He must think I’m a monster again.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

But I’m not.

I’m not.

I’m not a monster.

Just in case, I cover my strange-looking eyes with my hand.

I may look even more monstrous than before, but I’m not a monster!

“Seo-Ah?”

How long do you plan to torment me?

I already apologized for being wrong!

I apologized, so why are you here?

Does Han Si-Hoo still hate me?

You’re going to strangle me, right?

Hit me?

Stab me?

Curse me?

Call me trash and a rag, won’t you?

Hahahahaha!

“I’m not a monster, I’m not!”

The monsters are those guys!

Not me!

So if I kill them, it’ll all end.

Those things aren’t my friends.

I can prove it.

I’m perfectly normal, kind, and safe—I’m a good person with no problems at all!

I’ll kill them all to prove it!”

Yes, that’s it.

“So please… please forgive me.”

Hehehe.

I begged with a smile.