I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

Episode 12 – Who is the Liar?(4)

As if nearing the source, the fog surrounding us grew thicker with each step we took deeper into the village.

I thought holding hands with Victoria wasn’t enough, so we were now arm in arm.

“Is it absolutely necessary for us to be in a position where such sensitive parts of our bodies are touching?”

I was feeling the heavy sensation of divine power, so I desperately rolled my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts elsewhere.

“We held hands and then let go earlier. Shall we just embrace then? I wouldn’t mind, though.”

“…Let’s just walk like this. A hug might hinder our stride.”

-Ah, I’m not immune to hugs yet… Last time he hugged me from behind, I even let out a weird scream…

Only after I snickered at her did Victoria huff through her nose and tighten her grip on my arm.

The strong power unique to the Dragon-bloodline held me firmly in place, preventing me from escaping.

-I need to make the most of this opportunity, I should make our chests touch on purpose…!

I couldn’t understand Victoria’s psychology, plotting so ominously in her head while pulling her lips into a thin horizontal line.

Why on earth does she harbor such excessive feelings for me?

All I’ve done is cast healing magic when she was badly hurt, or secretly try to deal with the side effects of her miracles.

Of course, there was that time I showed no reaction to Victoria’s naked body, and I also vehemently told her not to use her miracles because I didn’t want to see her writhing in pain.

‘So she’s grown to like me because of such things…’

I couldn’t shake off this uncomfortable feeling in my heart.

Isn’t the reason for her affection too ordinary? What I did for Victoria was just the most natural things one could do.

Any normal person would think so. What kind of crazy person would hit on someone just because they have a good body and looks, or when they’re in pain or struggling?

‘…She’s a really bothersome woman.’

Thinking that, I couldn’t help but imagine the life Victoria must have led in the Papal See where she grew up since childhood.

How terrible her environment must have been, for her heart to be moved by even the smallest act of kindness or gratitude.

“Hey, just how did you live in the Holy Kingdom, to only show me this side of yourself?”

Unable to contain my curiosity, I threw the question at Victoria. It felt like I had to say it now.

“I lived a life that followed the will of the Heavenly Deity. I cared for those who grieved under the lack of the Heavenly Deity’s light, and I didn’t spare myself if it meant making this world a little brighter.”

-Oh, a sincere conversation between lovers…! This is the first time he’s been curious about my past!

Victoria, slightly lowering her gaze, spoke with a displeased expression.

As if recalling a sorrowful time, her forced, faint smile seemed to carry a hint of sadness.

“Not that, I’m asking how you actually lived. It doesn’t seem like you had a good time at all.”

“…To pry into a woman’s past, aren’t you being too insensitive? Ah, you were always insensitive, weren’t you? I apologize for my slip of the tongue.”

Victoria tapped her chin with her index finger, then acted as if she remembered something she’d forgotten.

Normally, if I fell for this kind of provocation and got angry or retorted, she’d tease me for days on end, calling me an ‘impious man who took his anger out on a Saintess.’

But,

– I don’t want to talk about it because it’s too grim….

Victoria’s inner thoughts were desperately trying to keep me from hearing about her past, no matter who I was.

– If I tell him about how I was abused as a child, forced to perform miracles while my parents were held hostage, he’ll think I’m unattractive…

“Even if it’s a depressing story, it’s okay. Can you tell me as much as you’re comfortable with? Even if it’s a contract relationship, I’m still your boyfriend right now.”

I respectfully asked Victoria to tell me about her past. I had become curious about the trajectory of her life, as different as she was on the inside and out.

Originally, people become strict with themselves if they have a very hard life. I had similar experiences, so I could recognize the signs.

“You’re making presumptuous remarks. Well, I’ll give you points for the courage.”

-Boyfriendboyfriendboyfriend…. It’s true that I’m now Astar’s girlfriend…! I’m so happy…!

Victoria’s inner thoughts were screaming loud enough to make my ears buzz. Her cheering was overflowing, and even just the word ‘boyfriend’ was enough to make her ecstatic.

How could such a woman be a Saintess? No matter how I think about it, she has extreme emotional swings. I began to doubt the existence of the Heavenly Deity who ordained Victoria.

“It might be a boring story, are you still sure you want to hear it?”

“I don’t care, just tell me. Don’t make me curious and then stop halfway.”

“Hehe, this is one of the reasons why I want to tease you, Astar. No matter how harsh your tone is, there’s always kindness hidden inside.”

Victoria laughed softly, gazing at me with warm eyes. There seemed to be some kind of warm emotion hidden in her softened eyes.

“Just get to the point already.”

Seeing Victoria like this, I felt a ticklish sensation travel up from the parts of our bodies that were touching, and I deliberately kept up my cold attitude.

“…Since I was chosen as a Saint at a young age, I’ve lived with people around me making unreasonable requests for me to use miracles.”

“I kind of figured. You were just recklessly throwing around miracles before I warned you.”

“Isn’t it about creating the impossible in reality? My miracle can turn someone mired in poverty, unable to eat even one meal a day, into a nouveau riche overnight.”

What Victoria said was true. The miracles she used were so powerful, they twisted causality to the point of healing the body.

Basic healing magic couldn’t restore damaged or lost body parts, but miracles could.

“That’s not necessarily a good thing, though.”

“What isn’t good about it? If I can sacrifice my insignificant self, like a wildflower by the roadside, so that everyone can be saved, that is a joyous thing. A simple trade-off, really.”

Victoria tilted her head, rolling her eyes as if I were the strange one. She had become too accustomed to this kind of pain.

The greatest misfortune is not knowing you’re miserable, after all.

“That’s a load of crap. It’s not just that you’re in terrible pain when you use your miracles, I caught you crying about it. Can’t you please just take care of yourself?”

I raised my voice slightly, getting angry at Victoria. It felt like the veins in my neck were throbbing.

“Are you worried about me now? Then I’ve won. You must have been looking at me with some perverted gaze for you to get this angry.”

Victoria even made a V sign with her fingers and shrugged slightly. I couldn’t read her emotions from her expressionless face.

– That’s exactly what I like about it. You see me not as a Saint who uses miracles, but just as an ordinary woman named Victoria.

Her inner thoughts were appraising me more favorably than ever. Even in a situation where she should be angry, my dumb silence was getting on her nerves.

“It’s only natural to get angry, there’s nobody who wouldn’t care knowing someone close is suffering right next to them.”

“…Do you know, Astar? People aren’t really that interested in others. And there are plenty of people who think that as a Saint, I should endure this kind of suffering.”

“That’s impossible…”

“The former Pope and you are the only two people who have worried about me while my body was half turning into flowers. It’s also from my own experience.”

Victoria spoke calmly, as if she had experienced this so often she was used to this kind of reaction.

“Still, I think it’s wrong for you to sacrifice yourself. It’s like grabbing a kid who knows nothing and telling them to save the world.”

I didn’t like Victoria’s attitude.

It was clear self-loathing. I knew how agonizing and lonely it was to believe that if you worked hard enough, you could achieve something and then overwork yourself.

“That’s what a hero party is, though. It’s the world’s wish concentrated into one.”

“But it’s still wrong. In the first place, before being a Saint, you’re a person named Victoria Everhart. It’s not okay for you to be in pain.”

“Hmm…”

Victoria closed her eyes and spoke reverently. With her arms crossed, she leaned her head closer to my shoulder, and a floral scent began to spread.

“You’re saying surprisingly admirable things for someone like you. Did you happen to grow some feelings for me since you’re my fake lover?”

Victoria was speaking quietly, with a slight upturn of her lips as if she was satisfied.

Even though her emotional expression and facial changes were faint, I could tell that she was quite pleased right now.

“Absolutely not. There’s no chance of that, so relax.”

“Will you be saying the same thing a month from now? Please, don’t tell me you’ll be begging to extend the contract, even for a few days, or even just one more day….”

As she spoke, Victoria folded her arms and leaned forward, creating a gaze that looked up at me from below.

The violent shape of her chest, influenced by gravity, was drawing a streamlined curve downwards.

“You really do like breasts, don’t you? Just like the s*x-crazed pervert you are. How can you look at the body of a saint and get aroused?”

Noticing my gaze, Victoria gave a wry smile and stuck her tongue out slightly. She deliberately looked a little contemptuous, making a disgusted face that annoyed me.

“…It was just a natural visual response to movement.”

“Is that so? I do have confidence in my chest, though. Even the Succubus Queen calls me names because of my voluptuous figure.”

Victoria supported her breast with her other arm, making a gesture that showed off her chest. The fact that she acted as if she wanted me to see it was grating on my nerves.

In the first place, for a saint so devout that she could be called a daughter of a Celestial Being, spouting endless obscenities was not good for my heart.

If anyone were to overhear this conversation, I could be executed.

“How can you, a saint, say such things?! You’ve always been like this, but lately it seems even worse!”

“You get worked up over nothing. If you want, as a reward for your commendable words, I could tell you my chest size…”

– I have to slowly make him see me as a woman with this cunning…!

“…I don’t need to know!”

“Hmm, really? I guess it might be too stimulating for a virgin mage who’s never even held a girl’s hand.”

Victoria would often provoke me like this, waiting for me to make a mistake.

When I first heard Victoria’s thoughts, this was exactly why I didn’t think she liked me.

If I fell for her games and mistakenly thought she liked me, her pattern was to tease me for months.

“…For your information, it’s H-cup. Isn’t it a bountiful size that feels the love of the Celestial Being? You should be proud to have become my lover, Astar.”

“It’s fake! It’s only a lover in appearance!”

“What does that matter now? Ah, I see, virgins really do think differently. I apologize for defiling your purity.”

– I will never let go of you. It’s all Astar’s fault for being so hot…♡

Hearing Victoria’s chilling words and thoughts, I silently hastened my steps forward.

“You’ve quickened your pace. Are you excited too? As common knowledge dictates, when a man’s in heat, he walks faster than usual…”

“That’s not it!”

I had to quickly rejoin my companions and get out of this village.