I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

Episode 8 – We’ll Only Hold Hands and Sleep (Not Kept) (3)

“My ideal type, you ask? Well… I haven’t really thought deeply about it, so I’m not sure…”

Victoria’s eyes rolled as she seemed lost in thought at my question. She started scrutinizing me from head to toe, as if deep in deliberation.

“…First off, it doesn’t seem like you.”

– It’s you. You are my ideal type itself.

Again, Victoria’s words differed from her true feelings. Her face was pale as ice as she uttered cold words.

“Firstly, my ideal type doesn’t drink or smoke. I have a conviction not to keep near me a human who engages in something harmful to one’s health, succumbing to mere desires.”

Victoria spoke, her chin jutting forward, as if aiming her words at me. Her eyes were sharp, as if laced with scorn and condemnation.

– I’m worried about Astal’s health. Even the former Pope had a penchant for alcohol, and he was later poisoned because of it…

Hearing her worried words directly, my heart couldn’t help but waver.

“…To raise the corners of your lips even after such insults, you really are an incorrigible pervert. Are you perhaps a piglet driven mad by lust?”

Victoria bit her lip as she spoke. Her gaze, calmly cast down at me, was as contemptuous as a viper’s.

– So Astal likes this sort of thing… Will he get more excited if I whisper these words into his ear later? I wish he’d say he was drawn in by my provocation and that he’d make me his woman…

“No, I’ve decided you can’t be my ideal type. Alcohol and tobacco are like my girlfriends, things I can’t give up.”

I read Victoria’s insidious thoughts and uttered the words I had prepared. This is a contractual relationship, so I needed to manage things well to avoid misunderstandings from those around us.

We’d show affection, but maintain enough distance that it would be acceptable to break up at any time.

That was the foolproof method I’d devised for dealing with Victoria. The other side hardly ever takes the initiative either.

“Right now, I’m your lover, yet you dare announce you’re going to cheat? Or perhaps, are you incapable of controlling your lower body, shaking your hips at anyone?”

– Even if it’s a contractual relationship, I’m Astal’s lover right now… Am I less attractive than alcohol or tobacco?

Victoria was struggling to conceal her unease. Seeing her say that a saint shakes her hips or use the term ‘lower body,’ it seemed as if she was incredibly angry.

“…I know I was the one who confessed first, and that you don’t have any particular feelings for me yet. But this is a personal matter.”

As I spoke, I pulled a magic leaf from inside my robe and rolled it into a ball. Because I was forced to utter a lie that was far from my heart, a feeling of anxiety washed over me.

I shouldn’t have said I had confessed to Victoria. The more I made up things, the more my lies snowballed.

“Still, I hate it. Why must you smoke something that smells awful and makes your hands shake if you don’t use it?”

– If I even imagine you dying from lung disease before me, it feels like the world is crumbling down…

Victoria used her divine power to make my tobacco leaf grow and turn into a flower. I was finally beginning to understand her reason for forbidding my smoking.

“Because I can’t live without this.”

Understanding and acceptance are separate matters. Right now, calming my anxieties is only possible this way.

“Then live that way for the rest of your life. I clearly stated that I hate it.”

Victoria sighed deeply, then snatched the bouquet of flowers from my hand and stomped them with her foot. It was as if she didn’t even want to leave behind a trace of tobacco leaf.

“…Anyway, secondly, my ideal type must be a man as devout as me. Someone who doesn’t skip prayers even during meals, and who is always grateful for all things.”

“No matter how much I think about it, we’re complete opposites…”

I scratched my jaw, falling deep into thought. If someone like *that* is Victoria’s ideal type, then why did she secretly fall in love with someone like me?

“Well, an ideal type is just that, an ideal, isn’t it? I simply found you adorable, desperately confessing to win my heart.”

– Things like piety and faith, we can always work on those after we’re married, attending church together. So don’t worry too much…!

Seeing my slightly gloomy expression, Victoria chuckled and patted my back. The warm, ticklish sensation made my heart race.

“And lastly, I’d like a man who can enjoy delicious food with me. When you travel around trying new foods, it’s a disadvantage being alone.”

“…I guess I can do that.”

I chuckled a little, knowing very well about Victoria’s hobby of hunting down tasty treats.

Seeing her cheeks puffed out like a squirrel, stuffing her face happily, made me feel strangely proud.

“You two always go out to eat together, don’t you? Is that how you fell for each other?”

“There wasn’t really any specific reason. It’s just that, besides me, you’re the only one in our party who can handle spicy food, Astar.”

“But you two, aren’t you dating now? Shouldn’t you be more head over heels for each other?”

Anima, the spirit mage, who had been listening to our conversation, seemed to notice something strange and asked back.

“Why are you two, who just started dating, being so cold…?”

It seemed like she had been suspicious about our relationship all along, and immediately noticed the contradiction.

“W-well, that’s…”

“It’s because Victoria’s shy. You’re not exactly all lovey-dovey with Tarion when we’re around either, are you?”

I put my arm around Victoria’s waist, pulling her body close to my side, and started making excuses.

Even our other couple, Tarion the archer and Anima the spirit mage, often seemed to be keeping the affections low-key when we’re all together.

“H, Hyaack…!”

– That’s a sensitive spot…!

Victoria, held by the waist, let out a small scream. Her slender, delicate body parts, which seemed like they could snap easily, were completely encompassed by my arm.

“We’re like that too, right Victoria? This morning we were all over each other, weren’t we?”

“Yes, that’s… correct…”

Victoria, clearly embarrassed about something, hid her face with her palms. Her flushed cheeks and dilated pupils were visible through the gaps between her fingers.

– My chest is touching Astar’s arm… I always thought they were heavy and useless but, in moments like this, they do come in handy…

“……”

Only after hearing Victoria’s thoughts, could I notice the heavy presence I felt in my arm. It was making the whole “where is all that food going” thing make total sense.

I slowly released my grip from her chest, changing my hold to gently grasp her side.

“Hmm, seems like it’s not a lie. I also try my best to separate personal and work.”

Anima, seeing us pressed close, with us both sporting bewildered expressions, finally dropped her suspicion and quirked her lips upwards.

“…So, what’s your ideal type? Since you’ve asked a maiden about her pure heart in this manner, I believe you should also share your ideals.”

– Yes…! Victoria, you managed to ask without sounding awkward! From now on, I’ll become a woman close to Astal’s ideal type!

Victoria, pressed right next to me, looked up at me as she asked. The scent of flowers tickled my nose, and her soft voice resonated in my ears, stimulating my mind.

“…Astal-nim? Is something the matter?”

– I want to become a more alluring woman to you.

Maybe it was because her affectionate thoughts were coming through, but Victoria, whom I usually considered just a casual male colleague, felt slightly like a woman in that moment.

“My ideal type is a mature older sister with a lot of understanding.”

I decided to tell Victoria my true ideal type, to get rid of the confusion. After all, no matter how I thought about it, she was far from it.

“I’m younger than you, aren’t I?”

– No way…! I didn’t know your type was older! Is that why you’ve been treating me like a child!

“That’s right. Well, it’s just that ideals and reality are different.”

I nodded, looking at Victoria. The fact that she was younger was one of the reasons I didn’t see her as a woman.

She was a young adult who had just had her coming-of-age ceremony, and was a year younger than me. No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was an immature child who didn’t know the ways of the world.

“For example, in what ways does she have to be understanding? I’m curious about the dark desires lurking in the depths of the man that you are.”

– There must be a way for me to make up for it!

Victoria, hiding her true feelings, started asking me about my ideal type in more detail, for her own reference.

Alright, I need to make her lose interest in me.

“When I come home exhausted from my magic research, I want a ‘Welcome home, dear♡’ from a older sister, who also has dinner and a bath ready. Of course, it would be even better if she was wearing an apron and nothing else.”

“……”

Victoria, after hearing my words, was rendered speechless, her mouth just gaping open. As if imagining herself in that situation, her cheeks started to flush slightly, and soon, her ears turned completely red.

– I can’t believe he’s actually a pervert…. This can’t be…

Good, she’s disappointed.

I felt a sense of accomplishment upon hearing Victoria’s thoughts.

This is how I’ll gradually kill her feelings for me. I thought this was the best way to avoid hurting each other’s feelings.

However,

“…I will keep that in mind.”

Contrary to my expectations, Victoria replied immediately with a blunt expression and tone.

– We’re meant to be…! I also like kinky things, so I sometimes secretly smell Astal’s robe!

It was because Victoria’s blind love for me was thicker than I’d expected. And she was internally squealing with joy, hiding her feelings.

– But, I wonder if they’ll even have an apron that fits me…? No matter how big the size, the chest part always feels so tight. Ah, I know, I’ll just greet him naked!

Victoria’s inner thoughts were more passionate and headstrong than anyone else’s. Seeing her already plotting and planning to become the ideal type I’d mentioned, it couldn’t help but send shivers down my spine.

And then,

“Please, Astar, just hold your breath for an hour?”

“……”

“Honestly, I’m so ashamed that you’re my comrade.”

I moved towards the fog-shrouded village, receiving the scorn and contemptuous gaze of the hero Kyle.