Chapter 1
“Listen carefully. Lord Astral, could you pretend to be my lover for just one week from now on?”
It all started with such a sudden statement.
This entire situation began with a proposal from Victoria, the saint of the hero party, whose body was half-covered in flowers.
“…Why should I do that?”
I gave a lukewarm response as I looked at Victoria.
In the past year, since we set out on our journey to defeat the Demon Lord, we had been more like friends—or even enemies—than lovers.
“Everyone else has someone they’re seeing.”
“So why do I have to pretend to be your fake lover? There are plenty of other men out there.”
I couldn’t understand. Why, all of a sudden, was the saint, who normally couldn’t wait to pick on me, making such a strange proposal?
I brought a cigarette to my lips, trying to relieve my stress, but Victoria, using her magic, stopped me.
“Tell me now. Will you do it, or not?”
The cigarette, made from magic leaves, instantly turned into a flower, making it impossible for me to smoke.
Victoria bit her lower lip, showing a displeased expression. She really disliked it when I smoked or drank.
“If I do, will you tell me why?”
I crossed my arms slightly as I replied. It was rare for her to make such a request of me, and I was curious about her reasoning.
“…You know that one of the Four Heavenly Kings we have to face is the powerful Succubus Queen, right?”
Victoria began speaking, her lips moving slightly.
“That’s right. You screamed and fainted as soon as you encountered her…”
The Succubus Queen, the most powerful of the Nightmares who can manipulate people’s dreams, had once specifically targeted Victoria, the saint.
Back then, Victoria had been so shocked that she couldn’t sleep for days.
“…Though I hate to admit it, I had a dream about you, Lord Astral.”
“What? Don’t lie. Didn’t you say you absolutely hated a man like me?”
“Yes, I really do hate you. After realizing the truth, I wanted to throw up everything inside me. The Succubus Queen must have used the fact that I disliked you against me.”
Victoria stuck out her tongue, making a gagging gesture. The disgust in her eyes was so strong that it almost wounded my pride.
“It was a truly dreadful nightmare… seeing you, a man like you, propose to me.”
“So, how does that relate to pretending to be lovers?”
“If I experience being your lover in advance, I should be able to escape the Succubus Queen’s dream trap, right?”
Victoria explained, perhaps hoping that by pretending to be in a relationship with me, she could avoid falling into the dream again. After all, many men had once fallen for her.
I nodded at her explanation.
“The way to wake up from a dream is to recognize the disconnect from reality.”
By the way, I had also dreamt of Victoria. With her beauty, just walking would turn the heads of all the men around her.
Her appearance, said to have been sculpted by a celestial being, and her figure would make anyone fall into deep contemplation.
‘I knew the moment I heard Victoria say she liked me, it was a fake dream, and I woke up immediately…’
Victoria’s true personality, however, was quite complicated and annoying.
She would suggest that I pray for the gods several times a day, or when I was on night watch, she’d sneak up and ask if I needed someone to talk to.
And when she tried to forbid my smoking and drinking for the sake of my health, there were times when I wanted to grab her by the collar and argue with her.
“Is this really the only way? Why not just get a real lover instead of me? There are holy knights under the Pope’s command, after all.”
Becoming Victoria’s lover, even if it was a fake one, was something I wasn’t interested in.
Under the table, I nervously tapped my foot while calculating the pros and cons in my mind.
If I pretend to date Victoria, what happens to the memories of us being friends all this time?
Honestly, whether objectively or subjectively, Victoria is beautiful. I wouldn’t be at a loss here.
But her personality is truly unbearable. No one could stand it except for me.
─ 4. Could I really pretend to be her lover, considering our friendship and affection, and accepting her flaws?
“I really don’t want to be your lover.”
My answer was a firm no.
So, I rejected Victoria’s proposal and suggested she find someone else instead.
“That’s not an option. Right now, the holy knights of the Vatican are nothing but lustful men trying to win my favor.”
Victoria shook her head, narrowing her brows even more than before. I had heard rumors that, since she became the saint, the number of men volunteering to become holy knights had increased fourfold.
“True, if those holy knights really knew your personality, I think they’d end up biting their tongues and dying.”
I made a gesture with my neck, as if I were choking. She was a formidable person who could crush a demon lord’s skull with a hammer, after all.
“Lord Astral, do you know your own personality is worse?”
“…Does it really matter, Saint?”
I hid the strength gathering in my hand, forcing a smile on my face as I did my best to stay calm.
‘Honestly, if it weren’t for her personality and way of speaking, I would have agreed to date her right now…’
There was no way I wanted to pretend to be her lover. Even now, look at her—she hated me drinking a single sip of alcohol and was stealing my cup to drink it herself.
If I just held on a bit longer, her stubbornness would subside.
The Succubus Queen had escaped when Victoria fainted, but next time, if I saw her again, I could just kill her.
“Haah, Astral…”
At that moment, Victoria began spinning her finger around the table, making a soft sound that could be considered cute by someone else.
She exhaled a hot breath and adjusted her holy robe, subtly expressing how hot it was in the room, in a captivating way.
“Yes, Saint.”
But I wasn’t one to fall for her charms.
I immediately cast a cold temperature spell on Victoria to block her seductive little act.
“Ugh, isn’t this cold? As expected, you’re the kind of man who—!”
“I couldn’t ignore the Saint’s discomfort, so I, the humble mage Astral, used magic.”
I couldn’t let my guard down.
In the past, I had once moved a drunk Victoria to a bed, and she never let me forget it, teasing me with, “Lord Astral is such a eunuch. I knew it.”
If I had actually touched her, I would’ve been dragged to the Vatican and accused of being a lustful scoundrel trying to violate the saint.
“Astral, do I… not have any charm?”
Victoria, who seemed to be slightly tipsy, suddenly asked in a soft voice.
She certainly had charm. Her face was beautiful, and while her personality was prickly, she wasn’t a bad person.
In the past, she had cried and prayed for those who lost their families on the battlefield.
“Who said you have no charm?”
She just had a sharp tongue and a personality that made everything more complicated.
“You. You’re being too cold, even though I’ve said I don’t like you.”
Victoria said this almost on the verge of tears. The Succubus Queen’s dream could torment a person depending on the user, repeatedly dragging them through horrifying nightmares.
“Victoria, I know you’re not drunk. I’ve watched people drinking because of you. I know your tolerance. This isn’t it.”
“….”
She hiccupped, looking startled.
She wasn’t the type of person to show weakness, yet here she was, pretending to be drunk in an attempt to convince me.
“So, what exactly are the terms and duration of this? This needs to be clear.”
I sighed deeply and handed Victoria a parchment made with magic, along with a pen. The objects floating in the air drew the attention of those around us.
“…Huh? Really? I thought you’d tell me to endure it with mental strength.”
Victoria looked at me, her mouth opening in disbelief as she glanced at me twice, clearly surprised that this was working.
“Quickly set the terms. What would happen if you faint again like last time, and your injured comrades need help?”
I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. If it weren’t for the Succubus Queen, I never would’ve agreed to this nuisance.
“The first condition is that this contract lasts only a week… No, a week is too short, so let’s make it a month. A month will make it easier to come up with excuses to others.”
I quickly wrote down the terms I had calculated earlier on the parchment. A week wouldn’t be enough to make her notice the disconnect between reality and the dream.
“Why is it easier to make excuses?”
“A month is the most common time for couples to break up. You really haven’t been in a relationship, have you?”
“You haven’t been in one either, have you?”
“…Shut up.”
I was at a loss for words in response to her jab. By now, Victoria was close enough that our breaths almost touched.
“The second condition: once the contract ends, we go back to being friends.”
“Of course. Are you doing this because you think I’ll actually fall in love with you?”
Victoria stuttered slightly. It was the first time I’d seen her so flustered, and it seemed like she was nervous about this contract romance.
“Of course not. If I ever saw you as a woman, I’d want to burn my eyes with magic immediately.”
“….”
Honestly, it felt more like I was looking at a loud and irritating younger sister from the neighborhood, someone I couldn’t hate no matter how annoying they were.
“Third: no physical contact between us without mutual consent. Got it, Victoria?”
“I understand.”
Victoria swallowed hard as she continued to stare at the parchment I was writing on.
“Lastly, the fact that we’re in a contract relationship is our little secret…”
“We’ll tell others that we’re dating, and later say we broke up and went back to being friends. That seems like the cleanest way.”
“Alright. Then we’ll do it like that?”
This is when my mind works quickly. I smiled as I saw Victoria, who had preemptively said what I was going to say.
After all, we had shared life and death together. There was enough trust between us that I could entrust my back to her, and I could even ask her to take care of things in my hometown.
“Then, from now on, we…”
We wrote our names on the parchment, and then we both signed the contract, exchanging it between us.
“We’re dating. For exactly one month. To build immunity to the Succubus Queen’s attacks.”
At that moment, Victoria and I exchanged looks, neither of us making the first move.
“Then, may I hold your hand? I’ve always wanted to hold a man’s hand.”
“You can, but are you starving for a man?”
“…Absolutely not.”
As soon as I gave my consent, Victoria quickly intertwined her fingers with mine, wrapping them around like a snake.
Her slightly raised smile and the tension in her slightly upturned lips made her look like she was pretending, but it was easy to get lost in her charm.
“Your hands are cold. Did you know? They say people with cold hands have warm hearts.”
“That’s true. You’re really warm-hearted.”
“Was that an insult to me?”
My heart almost skipped a beat.
Surely, Victoria thought of this contract relationship as nothing more than a brief fling.
That’s how it should have been.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
Finally, it worked! From now on, I’ll use this excuse to make her see me as more than just a friend…!
After signing the contract, suddenly, I began to hear Victoria’s inner thoughts.