I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

When Chika was very young, she learned that her father was the great hero of their village.

It was said that beyond the village, countless monsters roamed—so many that they were more numerous than the grains of rice in their storage jars.

In their country, many brave samurai uncles were fighting, and even the gods themselves were involved in the battles.

Chika didn't fully understand what "battles" meant.

But if even the gods had to descend to fight... it must have been something terrifying.

Still, their village was safe, and so were its people.

This was because of the village chief—Chika's father—who used an incredible method to keep the monsters at bay.

Yes, her father was truly amazing.

Chika couldn't help but feel proud whenever she thought of him.

Everything seemed normal, just like it always was—except for the stifling atmosphere that hung over the village.

People cried, people suffered.

There were faces Chika knew well and some she didn't recognize.

Some wore forced smiles; others carried expressions of grim resolve.

It felt like there were both more people in the village and fewer people at the same time.

Her father, the man she admired so much and whom everyone in the village called a hero, smiled less and less.

Every time she saw her father force a smile after catching sight of her, his previously furrowed brows relaxing only briefly, Chika felt a tight ache in her chest.

Ah... Is Papa troubled by something?

But if he won't tell me, then it must be something I can't help with.

Even as young as she was, Chika had a strange sensitivity to certain things.

Until... one day.

It seemed her father had made a decision. Chika felt happy about it.

Because Papa no longer looked so worried.

He shared his plans with everyone in the village, and they all supported him wholeheartedly.

After all, Papa was their hero. Chika thought so too.

Even though Chika didn't understand what decision her father had made, she trusted him unconditionally.

She believed the villagers felt the same way.

Occasionally, she overheard words like "bait," "sacrifice," "seal," and "monsters" from her father or others, but she didn't understand what they meant.

That didn't matter. Chika believed her father would handle everything and would never disappoint her or the villagers.

And then... on that day, for the first time, Chika saw the enemies everyone had been fighting against.

Monsters, as endless as a tide, surged toward the village. In the sky loomed an enormous beast.

So huge... so many... so terrifying...

Chika searched her limited vocabulary and could only come up with those words.

So this is what Papa, the samurai uncles, and even the gods have been fighting against?

The sky and sea were stained a nauseating crimson, and even from a great distance, the monsters' howls pierced the air, freezing her blood.

And then... nothing.

Chika couldn't comprehend what happened. She couldn't describe what unfolded before her eyes.

She only knew it was something her father did that made the endless tide of monsters and the colossal beast vanish entirely.

When she awoke from unconsciousness, she learned what had transpired.

Apparently, everyone in the village had fallen asleep, just like her. It seemed that was Papa's doing too.

That day, the villagers behaved strangely.

Some laughed, some cried, some stayed silent, and others celebrated.

Chika didn't understand why they were acting that way... but she was happy.

Because the oppressive atmosphere that had shrouded the village was gone.

The village was finally at peace.

Like the warm sunlight, like the calm surface of the sea.

Oh, but some things had changed.

For example, at night, Chika noticed the stars had disappeared from the sky.

Would the lonely moon feel sad without the stars?

And outside the village, her parents repeatedly warned her not to wander too far. They said there were still many monsters surrounding the village.

So scary...

But as long as Papa was here, the monsters couldn't get in.

Papa truly was incredible.

And then... and then...

How many days and nights had passed? When had it all started?

Time lost meaning, and the past faded in the endless days. The future dissolved into a distant blur.

People stopped reminiscing about the past. They stopped hoping for the future.

Because flowers no longer bloomed, birds no longer sang, stars no longer twinkled, and winter no longer came.

The village seemed to change, yet nothing changed at all.

How many days and nights had passed? When had it all started?

The stillness of the long-dead lake was finally disturbed when a stone was cast into it, sending ripples of murky waves.

People began to disappear from the village. The villagers grew uneasy, and Papa started to worry again.

Grandpa Takahiro, who used to sit on a small stool by the village gate all day, vanished. The children loved his stories about his days as a brave samurai for the shogunate.

Sister Serika and Brother Shinbei vanished the night they confessed their feelings for each other.

Aunt Mami, who sold the best fruit, disappeared too. The next day, her husband and their teenage son were gone as well.

Gradually... everyone in the village vanished. Even Mama disappeared.

"Everyone's just gone outside. We'll see them again someday," Papa told her.

The future...

What a strange, lovely word.

Like the stars twinkling in the night sky.

"Chika... you must always remember this."

One day, Papa spoke to me, as if he had something very important to say.

Maybe it was as important as the rule not to eat sweets before bed.

"You must hold on to yourself. Never change who you are... Even if I, Uncle Sword, and everyone else in the village disappear—even if you're the only one left—you must keep living the way you always have."

"Even if your playmates are gone, keep playing. Even if your mother and I are gone, never do the housework... Just do what you are meant to do. Only what you are meant to do. Ignore everything else!"

Everyone... gone?

Only Chika... left?

"Does that mean... everyone has just gone outside?"

I trusted Papa. I wanted an answer from him.

"So... why has everyone gone outside? Why is Chika the only one left here?"

"Don't think about it too much."

Papa's hand was big, bigger than mine or Mama's. When he patted my head, it felt heavy... but safe.

"If we could, we'd stay by your side. After all, Chika is so sweet—who wouldn't love you? But... someone must remain in the village. Whether it's me, Uncle Sword, or anyone else, we couldn't hold on to ourselves. Against the erosion that even the gods fear, human souls are just too fragile, like rocks worn down by waves... But you're different, Chika. Your soul is so pure that even the erosion leaves no mark."

I didn't understand. Papa's words were too difficult.

But... but...

There was one thing I vaguely understood.

"If Chika does what Papa says... does that mean... I'll have helped Papa? Will I be a good child?"

When I asked this, what kind of expression did Papa make?

He froze for a moment, biting his lip. His eyes glistened as he blinked rapidly. Then he forced a smile, though he failed the first time. After closing his eyes and taking two deep breaths, he finally managed a strained smile and choked out,

"Yes... Chika has helped Papa. You've been a big help."

Really?

The wish I'd carried for as long as I could remember—to help Papa—had finally come true?

I was so happy...

"Then... how long will Chika stay in the village? When will everyone come back for me?"

"Probably... when the gods' messengers come to this world and destroy all the monsters."

The gods'... messengers?

I thought of a picture book I had read before and suddenly asked,

"Are they... angels?"

Papa's answer was,

"Angels... Maybe. Maybe they really are angels."

---

Chika had a dream.

A long... long... long dream.

In her dream, she endured an unimaginable span of time—so long it drove her to madness.

In her dream, she watched the grandfather who told her stories leave. She watched the children who played with her leave. She watched the stern-looking yet kind Uncle Sword leave. She watched her beloved Mama and Papa leave. She watched everyone in the village leave... until only she remained.

"Chika... Chika..."

A voice, soft as the wind through the grass, stirred her awake.

A familiar yet unfamiliar face appeared before her, reflected in her eyes. It made her instinctively call out, knowing the ones she called would bring her happiness.

"Papa... Mama..."

"Chika... Papa and I have come to take you home."

With her signature braid draped over her shoulder, Chika's mother smiled warmly, radiating love and tenderness.

Chika reached out, clasping her mother's soft, jade-like hand.

The touch felt so real, so wonderful... she couldn't let go.

Afterward, Chika turned to her father.

"Papa... I..."

Seeing them again, Chika became anxious, clutching the hem of her clothes tightly.

Like a student awaiting their test results, she felt equal parts anticipation and fear.

"Did I... keep my promise to Papa? Was I... a good child?"

"Of course."

Chika felt herself pulled into a warm embrace, surrounded by a cocoon of happiness.

"You've always been our most precious, wonderful child."

Her mother held her for a long time before suddenly kicking her father.

"This is all your fault! If you weren't so useless, Chika wouldn't have had to suffer so much!"

"My fault?! I lasted till the end, didn't I? You left before me—how dare you lecture me?!"

"If you talk back again, you're sleeping outside tonight!"

"..."

Chika's father zipped his lips in defeat.

Satisfied, her mother turned back to Chika, her voice as soft as a gentle breeze. "So, Chika, is there anything you want to eat? Mama will make it for you."

Chika's face lit up, her worries forgotten. "Seagrass gourds! Chika wants seagrass gourds!"

Her mother sighed as she held her daughter. "Out of all the things I can cook, why do you love those the most?"

Behind her, Chika's father stifled a laugh—until her mother shot him a glare, silencing him.

"Well, let's go pick some seagrass gourds together," her mother said, holding Chika's hand as they headed toward the door.

As they reached the doorway, both mother and daughter stopped, turning back to look at her father. Chika waved her free hand to beckon him.

Seeing this, Chika's father smiled gently.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! It's been so long since we've gone out as a family. Let's go!"

A family reunited, harmonious and whole.

This was the dream they had long awaited, one delayed by centuries.

With her parents beside her, Chika felt more alive, her excitement bubbling over.

"Papa, Mama! Chika made new friends!"

"Really? What are they like?" her mother asked with interest.

"They're all beautiful sisters! Chika's never seen such pretty sisters before. One even has white wings like an angel from a picture book, so Chika calls her Angel Sister. There's also Sister Sara, who came with her."

"Sister Sara is so kind—she plays games with Chika. And Angel Sister taught Chika some songs. I'll sing them for you!"

Under the dappled shadows of the trees, a soft melody arose.

It awakened slumbering memories, drifting toward an unreachable horizon.

"I was once captivated by the vastness of the world~~ And lost myself in its dreams~~"

"Unsure of truth and lies~~ Unwilling to struggle~~ Unafraid of laughter~~"

---

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