I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

I should’ve never attended the graduation ceremony.

Even if I had attended, I probably would’ve been better off not being there. Throughout middle school, I was practically a ghost, and yet strangely, my grades were just average, with zero absences, early dismissals, or tardies recorded.

Maybe it was to avoid drawing attention to myself.

Yeah, that makes sense. If a chaebol heiress skipped too many classes and got expelled, it would’ve been a scandal in itself.

For whatever reason, that person attended the graduation ceremony.

It’s not like anyone spoke to her while she sat in class.

Could she have understood that kind of loneliness too?

Then, while returning from the graduation ceremony, I witnessed a miracle.

“Is that so?”

I mumbled as I gazed at the photo displayed on my smartphone screen.

It wasn’t my smartphone; it was Lee Soo-ah’s. She said it was a picture taken at the middle school graduation ceremony.

It was a photo taken together in front of the school gate, almost as if it was proof of our existence.

It was probably the first time I took a picture with someone other than family, yet ‘I’ was smiling softly. In contrast, Lee Soo-ah next to me appeared more tense, her face flushed and rigid.

The person who first spoke to me at school was Lee Soo-ah.

Perhaps that had stirred some emotion within ‘me.’

Looking at the picture brought me joy. It was so faint that I couldn’t explain it in detail, though.

Seeing Lee Soo-ah reach out to me, I felt ‘joy.’

“So it was you, the first person to talk to me.”

As I mumbled like that, Lee Soo-ah’s face turned just as red as in the photo. It was adorable. I couldn’t help but think it would be nice to have a younger sister like her. But for that to happen, our parents would have to be completely different.

… Growing up in another family wouldn’t have been so bad either, I suppose.

I had some memories of my father. However, I barely had any memories of my mother.

Wouldn’t it have been better if I had been born into a more harmonious family, even if they didn’t have as much wealth?

What would she have thought?

… Well, at least, regardless of the situation or thoughts, it seemed she wouldn’t have given up and run away.

“No, it’s not just because I talked to you.”

Lee Soo-ah said defensively, her face still red.

“I just spoke to you, and it was you who responded…”

The security guard who followed me seemed intent on preventing me from answering. It made sense. That person was likely ordered to do so, and having received payment, they had to follow through with it.

But that person didn’t seem to think so.

With just a few words, they smoothly knocked the security guard away, took a cool picture with Lee Soo-ah, and seemed to depart without a care.

… While Lee Soo-ah didn’t express it exactly like that, judging by her expression and tone, I could tell she felt that way.

“I see.”

I probably wouldn’t have been able to respond to Lee Soo-ah.

I might have missed my first chance to make a real friend since I was born.

… Seriously, no matter how much I think about it, I was a different person.

*

“……”

I silently stared at Yoo Ha-neul. She was dripping with cold sweat under my gaze.

Shin So-hee, who usually loved to hug me, seemed to sense my expression and pulled back, making way for my line of sight.

We were in the classroom.

Although class hadn’t started yet, the kids were relatively quiet. In fact, it always was that way. The atmosphere was different from when I was in middle school; they seemed to chatter enthusiastically regardless of my presence.

It was probably because there had been someone who had dominated the school before.

Yet, the fact that we didn’t pay them any mind hadn’t changed.

“……So, what you’re saying is, I climbed on top of you?”

As I slowly opened my mouth and asked, Yoo Ha-neul nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And this was during class time.”

“Right.”

“In front of everyone.”

“……That’s correct.”

The gazes of the other kids looked at me with ‘curiosity.’ It didn’t seem like surprise, so it was clear that I had indeed done something like that.

… Why?

“To draw attention to others.”

Yoo Ha-neul responded after reading my expression.

“……”

I didn’t know what to say back.

It seemed that ever since that person came to this school, they had constantly tried to draw everyone’s attention. Given how she interrupted the teachers’ classes or openly insulted them, it seemed it was a warning of sort.

And the most guaranteed way to attract eyes inside the school was to do something that should never be done ‘rationally.’

Yeah, I could roughly understand the reason.
I had just never thought they would actually go through with it.

… I felt like my illusions about that person were slowly shattering.

It had given off the impression that they were meticulously planning everything out and handling each matter in order, but it turned out they were impulsively acting on whims.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see them.

“So, that…”

As I struggled to continue, Yoo Ha-neul took a moment to breathe before speaking.

“Yeah, that was the most ‘intense’ experience I had with you.”

Yeah, I was the one who asked for her to recount such a memory. And Yoo Ha-neul was just responding as I requested.

Honestly, I wanted to check with someone seated behind me or in front, but I still didn’t have the courage to speak to them at that level.

“……Sure.”

Above all, I questioned whether I could trust those kids’ words more than I could trust Yoo Ha-neul.

Thus, I had no choice but to accept it as it was.

While we fell into a brief silence, the classroom door creaked open.

The teacher walked in without uttering a word, and just then, the class start chime sounded perfectly.

“Alright, everyone, quiet down.”

The teacher glanced our way and opened the attendance book.

As attendance was called and class began, I thought about it.

The reason I could return to the surface was that I had collided with the most intense memory I had.

This means that if I could access the powerful memories that person had experienced while in this body, I might be able to turn back. No law states that one side can only work one way.

The most dangerous memories that person had were too risky to use.
Collecting bits of memory to create one larger memory might take too long and isn’t guaranteed to work.

… Then what about turning back one memory that I thought was particularly intense?

“……”

To be honest, I felt a bit of resistance.

No, it wasn’t that I was trying to do something ‘with a girl.’ It was more about… I don’t know, emotional reasons.

Yeah, the thought of having to do ‘that’ with Yoo Ha-neul.

It’s not that I dislike Yoo Ha-neul. If someone asked me to choose between like and dislike, I would say ‘like.’

But that feeling was not the same as wanting to do ‘that’ with Yoo Ha-neul.

But even so…

If that’s the way I can bring that person back without causing them pain?

There was no reason not to do it on purpose.
Alright, fine.

I took a deep breath.

And as I pushed my chair back and stood up.

“Ye Sara?”

I heard the teacher calling my name, but I ignored it.

Maybe sensing something bad as I walked towards Yoo Ha-neul, she called out, but the sound didn’t reach my ears.

My heart was pounding hard.

Was I nervous about what I was about to do?
Or was that ‘intense memory’ drawing closer, and the person’s memory was about to awaken?

I hoped for the latter.

The embarrassment I would normally not feel was sweeping over me completely.
The teacher kept calling my name in a fluster, and the surrounding kids stared wide-eyed at me.

As if they already knew what was about to happen.

… Viewing this kind of reaction, it seemed that Yoo Ha-neul’s words were indeed true.

After all, Yoo Ha-neul, Shin So-hee, and I had gone out of the classroom several times. What had they thought back then?

With everyone’s eyes on me, I tried not to tremble.

Then, facing Yoo Ha-neul who was staring at me with round eyes, I spoke.

“Could you push the chair back for me?”

Yoo Ha-neul seemed to understand my words perfectly.

“……Are you going to?”

“Yep.”

“……”

Hearing my words, Yoo Ha-neul lowered her head for a moment and then nodded.

Rumble.

The sound of the chair sliding back echoed.

“……”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Alright, let’s see what happens.

… I thought this reckless decision was all that person’s fault.

… When I meet them, I will definitely not let it slide.

Anyway, that’s what I resolved.

I slowly spread my legs. Then in a slightly awkward position, I lowered myself onto Yoo Ha-neul’s thigh.

It was much softer and squishy than I had thought. It wasn’t uncomfortable.

Surprisingly, her skirt and underwear seemed to be made of light material.
I shuddered for a moment at the raw sensation and temperature.

My breathing quickened.
Was it just ‘embarrassing’ after all?

“… W-what should I do now…?”

As I asked while keeping my eyes closed, Yoo Ha-neul silently took my hand. A weak “Heh,” sound escaped my lips.

My hand must have ended up resting on her shoulders.

I could feel her hands wrapping around my waist, and

“Ugh…”
I felt her upper body press closely against mine.

Warm air rushed close to my mouth.

“At that time, Sara was awake.”

“……”

Yoo Ha-neul whispered.

The surrounding noise faded away. Only the sound of my heart was thumping in my ears.

“What if you opened your eyes?”

Yeah, this was all for the sake of meeting that person.

I took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. The warm air that touched my face flowed directly into my mouth, leaving me momentarily flummoxed. I was thankful I didn’t cough.

Holding my breath, I opened my eyes.
Yoo Ha-neul was almost glaring at me.

Our eyes locked directly, and the sound of our hearts intertwined, a whoosh noise ringing in my ears.

… Slowly, I felt my consciousness fading away.

---