I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

I was a bit worried, to be honest.

Typically, when the protagonist and heroine go shopping for clothes, the protagonist offers the heroine cute and flowy outfits.

And that heroine usually is a character who has never worn such outfits, leading to an event where she looks in the mirror and goes, “Oh my, is this really me?”

But here I am, a man in his 20s inside a female character’s body.

Yeah, I will admit it’s a little strange to have worn my school uniform just fine until now and then talk like this.

But the school uniform was something I had to wear, while this kind of outfit is one I could choose to wear.

Out of a few outfits my friend picked, if I end up wearing a flowy dress, the embarrassment would be off the charts. Even if the reflection in the mirror is not me in drag but Ye Sara, since I’m the one moving that body, it would feel way too obvious that the one who chose to wear it is “me.”

Still, I can’t just straightforwardly say to Yoo Ha-neul, “I can’t wear something like this.” To ordinary girls, it’s not strange at all for Ye Sara to wear such clothes, and naturally recommending such outfits isn’t weird either.

I thought that if I refused, it would just make things awkward.

But those worries turned out to be nothing.

Surprisingly, most of the clothes Yoo Ha-neul chose were pants, not skirts.

Sure, they were much tighter than what I usually wear, but at least my bare legs won’t be showing, right?

I went out of the changing room wearing dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and a khaki jacket.

As I stepped out, I caught Yoo Ha-neul’s face, which had been looking at her smartphone, snap up with surprise.

“How does it look?”

When I asked that,

“……”

Yoo Ha-neul paused for a moment.

Is it weird?

Well, thinking back, my fashion sense isn’t exactly top-notch. I barely cared what I wore; I just grabbed whatever was within reach from the clothes rack. Honestly, I never had anyone to impress, except maybe at work, where wearing a suit for important tasks was my entire fashion repertoire.

So, it might indeed seem a bit odd since I actively chose what to wear from a selection.

“If it doesn’t suit you—”

“It suits you!”

Just as I was about to step back into the changing room, Yoo Ha-neul rushed forward and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s buy this!”

“Uh, um…”

Light poured in overwhelming amounts toward my field of vision. And under that light was a bright smile.

In my moment of confusion, I ended up just agreeing.

*

I wasn’t planning on buying a hat or anything, but whether it was Yoo Ha-neul’s taste or my hair was just not in a good state, she kept enthusiastically recommending, and in the end, I picked out a cap as well. It was just a plain baseball cap.

“Okay, how about this?”

Then, with a spare hair tie she had, Yoo Ha-neul tied my hair back into a ponytail. While her hair brushed gently against her neck, Ye Sara’s hair was much longer—still reaching below her shoulders even after being tied back.

Just moments ago, my hair was glistening with sweat, but it was drying enough that tying it back didn’t feel bad. Plus, having my neck exposed felt refreshing.

“It’s nice. Comfortable.”

When I said that, Yoo Ha-neul smiled brightly.

“And it suits you!”

Well, that was obvious. Ye Sara’s beauty was genuinely stunning. Even if her hair got chopped off, she would still look good. Though, I wouldn’t dare do something as crazy as that.

Of course, I didn’t say that out loud. If I did, I’d just come off as a narcissist. I merely shrugged without saying a word.

“So… is this it?”

At first, Yoo Ha-neul insisted we should buy a bunch of clothes, but since hauling around so many bags sounded annoying, I suggested, “Let’s just come back next time,” and she was absolutely thrilled. What’s with that? Golden Retriever energy? Now that I mention it, Yoo Ha-neul’s ponytail bouncing behind her did resemble a wagging puppy tail.

No, more like a foal’s tail, to be precise.

“Yeah. This should be fine!”

The shopping bag I said I would take had already been snatched away by Yoo Ha-neul. Naturally, it contained the PE uniform I wore here.

Still, I was grateful to switch to casual clothes.

Just as I was thinking that, something suddenly poked into my side.

Before I knew it, Yoo Ha-neul had naturally linked her arm with mine.

I felt something fluffy brushing against my arm.

“Then let’s go.”

Yoo Ha-neul’s face next to me was closer than I expected. I could feel her breath when I exhaled.

Noticing my moment of surprise, or maybe she didn’t, Yoo Ha-neul immediately began pulling my arm and walking forward.

It was a gentle pulling sensation, quite different from when she had rushed off earlier.

But it certainly guided me in the right direction.

Ah, this is what it feels like to be the protagonist.

Watching her lead, that realization struck me.

*

Honestly, I didn’t really need to worry about what kids these days are doing.

For both girls and boys, there aren’t that many things teens engage in. Whether it’s girls not going to PC bangs or boys not visiting cafes, it’s just that the frequency may differ a bit.

Besides, regardless of how fun PC bangs are or how good it is to kill time at a café, they don’t just stay glued to those places.

So, what I’ve done most with my fellow teens would be “walking.”

For me, without a girlfriend or even a crush, I’m not certain, but I sometimes stumble upon blogs that showcase “date courses,” describing spots ideal for walking or places with much to see. Well, it’s a bit awkward for guys, but girls often gather in such date course spots.

…Or is that not true? I honestly wouldn’t know since I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life.

Anyway, that’s how things were in my previous world.

The issue lies within this world.

Of course, if a guy and a girl are walking together arm in arm, there’s a common understanding that they are dating. This world is primarily heteronormative.

However, it doesn’t mean same-sex interactions are treated as strange.

While not as common as heterosexuality, being aware of oneself as homosexual might carry some uniqueness, but worldwide, same-sex marriage is fully possible, and opposition against it is almost nonexistent. It’s common to see a pair of male or female couples in school settings in gaming depictions.

I remember a streamer bursting out with laughter saying, “What kind of world is this?” after seeing that.

So, I’m just a little confused.

It’s “natural” to think that if I get too close to a guy, I might be misunderstood. Quite frankly, I’m not particularly keen on male contact, so it’s not a huge deal for me.

But then, where do I draw the line for “touching with a girl”?

What level of physical contact avoids misunderstandings?

Naturally, that line will be set much tighter than the one from “the world I know.” In a world where sexuality can be overt, the frequency of wondering if “they like me” is expected to be much higher and standards much lower. At least, there’s no reason to firmly believe “this guy can’t like me since we’re the same gender.”

So, for example—

“Wow, it would be beautiful when cherry blossoms bloom here, right? Should we come back then?”

Walking along a cherry blossom path yet to bloom and pondering if the girl asking that could possibly like me feels pretty normal or not is the dilemma.

Oh, of course, I don’t mean that Yoo Ha-neul sees me as a… romantic interest.

Our relationship hasn’t been deep enough for that yet. I take it more as a friendly gesture.

She’s still hooked on my arm, but… that’s probably just me being overly aware, enhancing the sensation.

The issue is recognizing how our relationship evolves over time.

At first, it’s easy to think a girl starts speaking to me just because we happen to be in the same class. But if that same girl keeps chatting with me during breaks, visits on weekends, and walks along what is undeniably a date course for several months, is it rational for me to suspect otherwise?

Furthermore, my relationship with Yoo Ha-neul is a bit unique. It’s a bond between two people who are the only ones capable of talking in class, after all. As time passes, it’s likely to get more confusing.

Not to mention, Yoo Ha-neul does have a route in the game that explicitly courts Ye Sara. I have no way of knowing how it all led to Ye Sara getting tangled in things.

“Uh, you don’t like it…?”

As I zoned out without answering, Yoo Ha-neul looked at me and asked. Her expression seemed a tad gloomy, almost as if the brightness of her face had diminished.

Well, it would make sense to feel hurt if the only person she can talk to in class disregards her.

“…You’re right. It must be beautiful. I hope we can come back.”

I tried to suppress my embarrassment coming to the surface and managed to say that.

“Right!?”

Yoo Ha-neul’s expression instantly brightened. I could feel the brightness return to her face, or at least that’s how it seemed to me.

But why does it matter?

Thinking about stuff like that now is useless. That’s a concern for another day.

And, well, if Yoo Ha-neul were to really confess her feelings, what would happen then?

There wouldn’t be any reason we couldn’t start dating.

…Thinking about that, my face definitely felt a bit hot.

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