I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

And such extreme emotions were incredibly bewildering for me.

I had lived an incredibly ordinary life, and I had never felt that kind of emotion. It’s not that I had never loved someone or been so angry that I wanted to hurt someone. It’s just that I had never felt emotions that were that intense.

I did love my family. If my parents were to pass away, I would regret not having treated them well for the rest of my life. There was always a deep affection for my parents, and despite the bickering that comes with living together, I believed that family is family.

However, I had never felt a desire to run and hug my mother or father with my heart racing at the sight of them. Even when I came home for my first leave from the military, I was genuinely happy, but I had never felt feelings at this level.

There were also many people I disliked.

There were times I went from being friends to extremely hating each other over petty fights, and there was also that jerk who periodically showed up at my workplace. Naturally, there had been times I wanted to beat him up or wished he would just die, and I had cursed him behind his back.

But I never forced myself to endure not killing that person.

“Come here.”

Choi Na-kyung said, stretching out both arms towards me.

One step forward, and Ye Sara’s body moved in that direction. I felt like the weight of the emotions bursting from deep within my chest was about to crush me.

It was truly a bizarre feeling.

‘Me’ was definitely feeling emotions. Or maybe it was Ye Sara who was experiencing them. It seemed like Ye Sara’s memories and emotions, which I thought had slipped away after swallowing a handful of sleeping pills and falling into eternal sleep, were slowly awakening as she looked at Choi Na-kyung.

Yet still, I could not fully agree with those emotions.

Because I hadn’t shared Ye Sara’s memories.

I didn’t know the reasons, methods, or causes, but I had entered Ye Sara’s body. If Ye Sara’s personality was still present, I was now very close to her. Perhaps it was valid for me to claim I was indeed Ye Sara.

But even though I was trapped in the same body, I felt as if I was observing Ye Sara from a step away.

I was here.

Ye Sara was trying to move forward.

And I could not properly empathize with Ye Sara.

In this strange layering of situations, Ye Sara’s body was taking tentative steps, like a child who had just learned to walk.

“……”

Choi Na-kyung’s face, which had been smiling at Ye Sara, faded a bit.

What was that woman trying to prove?

It didn’t seem like she had separately threatened or proposed anything to Yoo Ha-neul, Lee Soo-ah, or Shin So-hee. Choi Na-kyung wasn’t even looking at them from the start.

It was as if she had been eagerly waiting; Ye Sara sat there, infinitely waiting for the door to open.

Choi Na-kyung’s arms gradually fell. Seeing that, Ye Sara’s heart raced even more violently.

It wasn’t too late. She could still rush over now.

It felt as if she was persuading me like that.

Why?

I asked.

I didn’t receive a proper answer. It wasn’t that Ye Sara’s personality had returned; it was simply that her body, heart, and the memories still lingering in her brain were trying to take over.

But somehow, I felt like I could understand that unspoken persuasion.

Because she was my only person.

The only one I had seen and lived with—

The only person who responded to me, a real person.

The only person I could actually feel emotions for.

…….

Yeah.

Finally, finally… I thought I understood.

Even with all that money, even with the bright and shining future unfolded outside the cage, I could understand why Ye Sara had chosen death.

…… What had Ye Sara written in her note?

I hope you love me.

So that my death could wound you.

Yeah, that’s right.

That was ‘literally’ it.

Whether Ye Sara went out into the world or stayed alive, dead… whatever she did.

To Ye Sara, there was only one important person from old times. A precious person, and a person she hated—just one person.

Money? That had no meaning. Only that one person mattered.

The one who firmly protected her from all beings that sought to use her during her childhood, who beautifully decorated her youth, pouring out love in place of the mother she couldn’t remember, and who had locked her away in this prison, ruining all human relationships, robbing her of an ordinary life, emotions, dreams, everything…

And after she had gotten used to having everything taken away, she came, pouring love into her: ‘Mother.’

To Ye Sara, Choi Na-kyung was ‘the one and only’. Something that could not be replaced by anything else, the only living person in the world.

Ye Sara had already shattered into pieces long before I entered this body, long before she took those pills.

…… But, still, I have one wish. I hope Mother loves me. As much as I loved Mother when I was a child…

Ye Sara was always sincere.

Even as she died, she thought she would give a lifelong unforgettable wound to that woman she loved but also hated, and that it would forever remain in her heart—it was literally that.

*

“……”

The three girls held their breath as they watched Ye Sara enter the living room in a white dress.

It looked like she could step right onto the stormy road at any moment, undeniably beautiful without a single flaw.

Because of that, they hoped Ye Sara wouldn’t go to Choi Na-kyung.

With that outfit on, if Ye Sara hugged Choi Na-kyung, it felt like she would never return. That feeling hung in the air.

Even though the person waiting for her was her stepmother.

…… This isn’t normal.

Among the three sitting on the couch, no one thought otherwise.

Yoo Ha-neul, who suspected something early on, Shin So-hee, who felt somewhat relieved knowing ‘Chairwoman’ meant ‘Mother,’ and Lee Soo-ah, who had already sensed something was off in the household.

They could all recognize that this situation was definitely wrong.

That woman is dangerous.

And seeing that woman would surely place them in a dangerous situation.

Everyone had seen Sara taking a step.

As if unsure of whether she should or shouldn’t, her trembling steps moved forward one step at a time, both anxious as if she wanted to go yet couldn’t, and dangerous like she was being forced to go somewhere she didn’t want to.

And for some reason, it felt like they shouldn’t stop her.

They knew it was wrong. Because they were witnessing it unfold right in front of their eyes.

But, for some reason, it appeared almost sacred.

They didn’t know how long it had been done like that, but for a very long time, a ritual that had only continued between the Chairwoman and Ye Sara.

“……”

But now, Sara was rejecting that ritual with her entire body.

Trembling like a leaf, she managed to take one step forward.

I want to go, but I can’t.

Realizing that, Sara forced herself to move forward step by step.

The smile disappeared slowly from Choi Na-kyung’s face, who had been stretching out her arms. Her raised arms gradually fell.

…… At that moment, Sara’s steps completely came to a halt.

And like a puppet with its strings cut, Sara knelt down right there.

“Sara!”

The first to jump up from that sight was Yoo Ha-neul.

Without the slightest hesitation, she ran towards the helpless Sara, who had drooped her shoulders and knelt on the floor, but even while running, she couldn’t easily touch Sara. She just sat next to her, keeping a bit of distance, fervently calling Sara’s name over and over.

Sara remained still.

She simply sat there, vacantly staring at the floor, her eyes glazed over with emptiness.

None of them knew why it had come to this.

Perhaps even Choi Na-kyung, who had seen Sara time and again, didn’t understand either.

“……”

For a long while, silence engulfed the room.

Choi Na-kyung finally rose to her feet.

It was a silent movement, yet everyone in the room looked towards Choi Na-kyung.

Choi Na-kyung stood up from her chair and looked down at Sara silently for a while.

Then she turned her gaze to Yoo Ha-neul, sitting beside her.

Yoo Ha-neul looked back at Choi Na-kyung.

Choi Na-kyung wasn’t glaring.

She merely looked at Yoo Ha-neul quietly, incredibly, quietly.

The corners of her mouth were raised. But no one would believe that expression was one of laughter.

Choi Na-kyung’s gaze swept once over Shin So-hee and Lee Soo-ah, who were still stiff on the sofa.

There was no change in that gaze. It was a strange atmosphere of smiling but lacking expression. An exquisite beauty intermingled with a loathsome desire crossed over those three faces.

As if confirming her own thoughts.

“……”

She soon began to walk. The direction of her steps remained towards the still-open door.

At first, her walk was unimpeded, but then, in front of Sara, she stopped for a moment.

At that moment, Sara’s head, which had remained drooping like a limp doll, slowly turned to look up at Choi Na-kyung standing before her.

“……”

No words were exchanged between them, just two vacant gazes lingered on each other for a while.

Or perhaps, both might have been pleading in their own ways.

But that feeling likely did not get through.

Choi Na-kyung shifted her steps again. This time, the movement was neither slow nor hesitant.

Sara merely lowered her head and continued listening to the sound of her footsteps.

The sound of footsteps faded away, and the door creaked shut.

Yoo Ha-neul raised her hand towards Sara, but then retracted it without making contact.

Sara had given up something important today.

She could guess what that was.

But she couldn’t even imagine how important that was.

So she just sat there, endlessly beside her.

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