I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

Choi Na-kyung gently opened her eyes that she had been closing for a long time.

It was a long reminiscence.

And it was a long time.

It’s heartbreaking when the person you secretly love starts loving someone else. In truth, there were many reasons why she and Choi Na-kyung couldn’t be together.

Apparently, she never thought she could love a woman. Her family was from a very high social standing, and one of the reasons they wanted their daughter to marry someone from their own kind was likely related to that.

And by chance, during an unwanted blind date, she fell for her match. The feeling was mutual. Despite it being an unexpected meeting, they loved each other.

No, those were just excuses.

The reason Choi Na-kyung could never be the most important person in her life was simply because she lacked the courage to take a step further.

When they first met, she didn’t speak up. She waited until the other person would talk to her.

She never had the courage to say “I love you” first.

The fear of drifting away from her was so overwhelming that she could only watch from a distance, unable to take a step closer.

Maybe she could have held her hand and flown away far, far away.

She could have stuck by her side and protected her from the cruel world every time she faced hardship.

If she couldn’t even do that, at least she could have tried to talk to her first.

But in the end, Choi Na-kyung accomplished none of those things.

That’s probably why she had no choice but to let the little time left slip away so helplessly.

She had promised herself it wouldn’t happen this time.

Addressing her as “Chairwoman” might have meant that Sara had already begun to drift away from her.

“Ha.”

Just with that one word, she recalled the past and felt a sense of superiority that was amusing.

She had woven a safety net around Sara so tightly. She built up conditions under which no one could easily approach, creating reasons for them to not even dare to look.

The one who could tear down all those barriers had to be herself—

“……”

Choi Na-kyung turned her gaze to the side. Her mouth was still curled in a smile, but the wide, open eyes were certainly not smiling. Those big, innocent-looking eyes became sharp like a knife when they glared at someone.

Years ago, people even doubted whether Choi Na-kyung and the former chairwoman were actually having an affair behind the scenes, given her sharp eyes and Sara’s elevated brow. They suspected that perhaps Sara was really Choi Na-kyung’s daughter.

But that was impossible.

Choi Na-kyung had never given birth.

In their marriage, their relationship was merely that of a father and mother. The chairwoman needed someone to play the role of Sara’s mother, and Choi Na-kyung simply wanted to be close to the traces of the woman she loved her whole life. They had never physically been together. Both the chairwoman and Choi Na-kyung had only one person they truly loved.

“I’d like you to explain what happened in detail.”

Choi Na-kyung said softly.

They were in the backseat of a luxury sedan. The driver had not yet gotten in the car. Whenever she needed to discuss something crucial, only she and the two people listening were present in the car. As it was an expensive vehicle, speaking quietly meant that there was no way anyone outside could hear.

Upon hearing those words, Yang Hye-in flinched and, after a moment of hesitation, slowly opened her mouth.

“…I believe the lady wished for that.”

“Believed, huh.”

“…Yes.”

Yang Hye-in swallowed hard. The Na-kyung she saw when she first started working in the mansion was far less terrifying than the one beside her now.

If her employer attempted anything, she wouldn’t know how to stop it.

How much money does it take to kill someone? To dispose of a body? To make the police wrap up a case quickly and leave it a mystery? She couldn’t dare to imagine how much it would cost, but no matter how much it took, as the chairwoman of Yujin Group, she could likely do anything.

“It should have been your job to prevent her from thinking that way.”

“……”

Yang Hye-in had no words.

“……”

Choi Na-kyung quietly stared at Yang Hye-in for a while. The air in the car felt like it had frozen. Yang Hye-in thought it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe.

“Alright.”

Finally, Choi Na-kyung spoke.

“You are now fired, effective immediately. Take off that uniform, pack your things, and leave the mansion. You are not allowed to speak to Sara anymore. Your severance pay will be properly arranged by Yujin Group. Thank you for your service until now.”

And, as if she had never cared in the first place, she turned her gaze to look out the window.

“……Understood.”

Yang Hye-in barely held back a sigh of relief and opened the car door.

“Ah, right.”

At Choi Na-kyung’s sudden voice, Yang Hye-in froze halfway out of the car.

“It goes without saying, but everything that happened on this estate is under a strict non-disclosure agreement. I’m sure you understand? Do you need more money?”

She stiffly turned her head to look at Choi Na-kyung. She was still gazing out the window. Yet, for some reason, Yang Hye-in felt as if Choi Na-kyung was glaring right at her.

“……No, I’m just grateful for having been employed until now.”

“……”

Choi Na-kyung did not respond.

Yang Hye-in got out of the car. The driver, who had been waiting by the side, closed the door. Then he himself immediately got into the driver’s seat.

Without saying a word, the car drove off.

Yang Hye-in stood there as if she were nailed to the spot for a moment.

It was all over now.

This mansion, where she had spent the last three years, no longer had a place for her.

“……”

After staring at the car that was growing further away, she turned her body. She clasped her hands together, keeping her back straight. Even though she had been fired, she was still Sara’s dedicated maid until she left this mansion.

*

Only after Choi Na-kyung vanished from my sight could I finally calm down.

As Choi Na-kyung passed by, I unknowingly raised my head to look up at her. Or maybe it was ‘Ye Sara’ who looked up at her.

In that moment, the feeling I had was anxiety.

I needed to get up right now. If I missed this chance, I wouldn’t know how long it would be until I saw her again.

‘Mother’… Ye Sara wanted to move.

But I couldn’t.

Ha Neul was right next to me. Ha Neul was sitting beside me, looking at me.

What we both longed for was entirely different. Ye Sara wanted Choi Na-kyung, the only family she had left in this world—her ‘mother’—who had been the only one she knew and loved throughout the years.

I knew I couldn’t do that. Ha Neul was sitting right next to me. I knew that if I acted according to Ye Sara’s desires, Ha Neul would be greatly disappointed.

It wasn’t just Ha Neul. Shin So-hee and Lee Soo-ah were also here.

A few of the rare friends who didn’t ignore me at school.

Only after the door closed quietly could I finally draw a deep breath.

“Sara!”

Ha Neul caught my collapsing body. Maybe it was because she was wearing an outfit that exposed her shoulders, but I could feel her warm body temperature.

“Sara!”

I heard voices from the sofa where Shin So-hee and Lee Soo-ah were sitting.

Both of them rushed toward me. They quickly sat beside me, holding my hands and grabbing my shoulders.

“Ye Sara, wait a second. Look at me.”

Shin So-hee said as she held my shoulders.

I lifted my gaze to meet her eyes. The rapidly swaying view slowly came into focus. The white haze in my head was gradually regaining its original colors.

“What happened? What did that person do to you……?”

“I, I……”

I opened my mouth and then shook my head.

“I don’t, I don’t know.”

That’s right. I didn’t know.

I knew nothing about Ye Sara.

At first, I thought all it took was to get rid of the chairwoman. I thought I could just escape outside and create connections, so I wouldn’t be lonely anymore.

But did Ye Sara really wish for that?

Did she want to part ways with her only family—her ‘mother’?

Yeah, without a doubt, there were feelings of hatred.

But in the end, Ye Sara couldn’t choose either side. The conflicting emotions of hatred and love clashed until she ultimately made a choice that accepted both.

Choosing to take her own life.

That act was not merely a way to escape.

It was, simply put, an act with pure malice intended to hurt the other.

…Somehow, I had become the meddlesome obstacle disrupting that act.

Did I have the right to keep intervening in that life?

Did I have the right to keep meddling?

My heart gave no answer. While it continued to pound as it clashed with my emotions, it now beat calmly. There was no way to know what Ye Sara was thinking or if she truly still existed within this body.

“This house, you should get out of it.”

Ha Neul said, still holding my hand.

“That person isn’t normal. It’d be better to escape to a faraway place.”

It sounded like she was saying she would go with me.

“……”

I thought for a moment. I slowly organized my swirling thoughts. Should I run away? That must be the better method.

“……No.”

The answer came quickly.

Since I came into this body, more than two months had passed, and Ye Sara’s persona had never manifested even once. Perhaps that was because she had truly died. The intense heartbeat I felt just now and the conflicting emotions I experienced with Choi Na-kyung could simply be instinctive actions ingrained in this body.

…But that didn’t provide a basis to conclude that Ye Sara had completely vanished, that she had left this world.

This body, regardless of anything, wasn’t mine.

Even if the owner had given up on this body.

Didn’t I promise? When reading that will.

“I can’t give up.”

“Sara……”

At my words, Ha Neul called me with a tone full of concern.

Right, I couldn’t give up. If there was still a chance that Ye Sara remained in this body, I might be able to have a conversation with her.

And the best way to find out if Sara truly existed or not was……

…To meet Choi Na-kyung, the only connection Ye Sara had in her life.

“I absolutely cannot give up.”

I said to myself as a promise.

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