I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

The three girls sitting in the café couldn’t say a word.

Yoo Ha-neul, Shin So-hee, and Lee Soo-ah all thought they were doing their best for Sara in their own ways. Of course, they hadn’t taken any decisive actions. None of them had managed to become more than friends with Sara. Whether they acknowledged it or not, deep down, they all wanted more.

Being close to Sara was surely something they enjoyed. But to justify their actions, they used the excuse that “Sara had asked them to.” So, even if they crossed certain lines—no, even if they stepped a foot over the line, Sara never complained.

Sure, she looked a bit uncomfortable or expressed some questions about their behavior now and then—

—What did I say to Sara every time that happened?

Yoo Ha-neul thought.

She mumbled and made excuses. She distorted the “friend” distance that Sara didn’t quite understand. Like competing with the others, they shamelessly poured out their desires.

It was something done with a lighthearted feeling.

Of course, they were aware of Sara’s situation—no, they thought they were.

The princess trapped in a cage who hadn’t been out in a long time. Finally dared to open the door to that cage and step outside into the world.

Yeah, they knew it in their heads.

But to think they empathized with her in their hearts felt a bit too shallow for that.

They just liked it. Half in jest.

It felt nice to hold Sara close. The Sara in front of them was pretty, and her flustered reactions were cute. Every time Sara squinted her eyes and smiled, they felt she was so beautiful.

But while they enjoyed their school life like this, what was Sara thinking?

Sara hadn’t just made a resolution to go out into the world.

Every single action she took was already a desperate struggle in itself.

Only after reading the painfully desperate letter that Sara left behind did Yoo Ha-neul feel like she caught a glimpse of the true feelings Sara had beneath the joy.

How much courage must it have taken Sara, who hadn’t had a proper conversation with people, to talk to her?

It wasn’t just about talking.

The cheerful image of Sara she showed at school, every step she took, was her holding on desperately, putting everything she had at stake.

So… all those actions from Sara’s perspective weren’t “playful” at all.

“……”

Despite wearing warm clothes, even in the heated café, Yoo Ha-neul felt a chill.

“Sara…”

Lee Soo-ah muttered. This girl probably had thoughts similar to hers. She must have begun to understand, at least a little, how harsh Sara’s past had been and how desperately she wanted to escape from it.

The feeling that she would give up her life to run away was laid bare in this letter… no, “suicide note.”

“……”

Shin So-hee stared intensely at the letter lying on the table. Whether she was biting her teeth or not, her delicate jaw was stiff.

As Yang Hye-in silently observed the reactions of the three, she rummaged through her bag again.

What she brought out was a small white pill bottle made of plastic. There was a clink sound from it.

Yang Hye-in carefully placed the bottle on the table.

Even without reading the label, Yoo Ha-neul could roughly deduce what kind of medicine was contained within.

The sleeping pills that were mentioned in the letter—obtained through illegal means.

It was written there that it was a type of sleeping pill that wasn’t prescribed anymore.

“This is a barbiturate sleeping pill. It is no longer prescribed due to the risks of misuse.”

Yang Hye-in paused for a moment, as if contemplating whether she could say such a thing. But it seemed she made up her mind and opened her mouth with a hardened face.

“……It’s a drug that can be used for comfort if the dosage is increased.”

“……Did Sara use this?”

Yang Hye-in shook her head.

“I can’t know.”

Then she paused briefly before continuing,

“But I think she did.”

Yang Hye-in picked up the pill bottle from the table and opened the lid. The bottle was half full. The clink sound earlier was probably from that.

“But still, it’s just sleeping pills, right? Maybe she just used it for insomnia…”

“……”

After listening to Yoo Ha-neul’s words, Yang Hye-in shook her head for a moment in thought.

“……I have a feeling.”

Yang Hye-in recounted the time when Sara had screamed and thrashed about. Sara had been taken to the hospital with dark bruises on her back. Even the doctors and police thought that those marks were signs of child abuse.

……Looking back now, it definitely was child abuse.

“But, still, how can she have bruises on her back after taking sleeping pills…?”

“Perhaps she despaired at her failures.”

Though she was no longer in a maid’s position, Yang Hye-in still addressed Sara with respect. Even though the age gap was significant.

“When she opened her eyes in bed after her last glimmer of hope shattered into pieces. How much pain she must have felt then.”

In truth, Yang Hye-in didn’t know what kind of effects barbiturates have on the body. She had no choice but to believe the doctor who said there were no major issues with Sara’s body.

Maybe she had already taken medication before all that. After all, that day was the day she was supposed to meet Yoon Da-ho. Sara was incredibly uncomfortable around Yoon Da-ho. It seemed Yoon Da-ho didn’t even try to hide his dislike for Sara.

How could the chairwoman arrange such a betrothal?

Thus, she might have taken it accordingly. But after failing—she finally met Yoon Da-ho.

Yeah, from that moment onward, something about Sara had changed. Maybe that day was when Sara let everything go. Everything Sara was doing now might actually be a result of that.

Despairing that she hadn’t died, self-harming until her back was bruised and screaming in despair through the night.

That was the only thought Yang Hye-in could grasp.

……Even after being beside her for three years, Yang Hye-in knew nothing about Sara.

“……”

A brief silence.

It was an unbearably suffocating silence. It felt like that silence scolded Yang Hye-in’s indifference and, on the contrary, reprimanded the three girls for not thinking deeply. One thing was certain: none of the people present blamed them. The blame was on themselves. Whether it was genuinely wrong in the eyes of others or not, they thought they should blame themselves.

“Why are you showing us this letter?”

Yoo Ha-neul, who had been staring hard at the open pill bottle, broke the silence. There was a faint tone of anger in her voice. It was as if she was uncomfortable with hearing something she didn’t want to.

The fury directed at those who had left Sara to ruin for so long. The disappointment with herself for ignoring the fact that she could have found out instantly if she had just tried a little harder. The resentment toward Yang Hye-in for bringing this up now.

Honestly, thinking about having fun with Sara while being unaware of this was already an extremely selfish thought.

So, how was she different from Chairwoman Choi Na-kyung?

That woman, who left her adopted daughter to rot in the mansion just because she wanted to keep her, gradually twisted her into something broken to understand only herself, and here she was, filling her own desires using the pure heart of someone raised under abnormal circumstances.

Yoo Ha-neul felt a shiver go down her spine and was disappointed in herself once again.

“……I cannot stay by the young lady’s side anymore.”

Yang Hye-in spoke gravely.

“To be dismissed from there means I shouldn’t approach the place from now on. Whatever way I might try to reach the young lady, the Yujin Group will likely try to stop me.”

Yoo Ha-neul—or rather, the three girls sitting across from Yang Hye-in faintly realized what intention was behind her words.

Using the fact that she can no longer stay beside Sara, she wanted to ask them to take care of her.

The first to respond was Shin So-hee.

“Isn’t that the same for us?”

Shin So-hee, who had been quiet for a while, asked fiercely.

“What do we have that makes us better than you? What power do we hold?”

Perhaps it wasn’t merely about the difference in power. It was clear that Shin So-hee was feeling the same thing Yoo Ha-neul had just felt.

“What can we do against someone in a high position trying to stop us?”

Even though she was showing her fierce side, it reminded one of a small dog barking aggressively out of fear at a person. No, it wasn’t even barking at a person but at a phantom. Yang Hye-in was no longer one of them.

“……I can no longer reach the young lady. If the Yujin Group truly intends to stop you, it will be the same for you.”

Yang Hye-in spoke with her head bowed as if feeling guilty. But soon, she raised her head again.

There was a determination in her expression.

“However, there is a significant difference between me and you.”

“What is that?”

In response to Yoo Ha-neul’s question, Yang Hye-in took a slight breath before answering.

“The young lady doesn’t attempt to reach out to me. But it’s the opposite for you. The young lady would willingly reach out to you first.”

“……”

“And because of that, if you don’t give up on the young lady, she might also not have to give up on something else…”

“……”

Once again, silence returned to the table.

“……Those are the words I wanted to share with you.”

Yang Hye-in politely bowed her head once more toward the three.

“……”

The three stared at each other in silence for a moment.

What will you do? wasn’t a question exchanged between them.

It was unnecessary to begin with.

In reality, the three of them had made up their minds since before seeing the letter, since before watching Sara meet with the chairwoman—

No, perhaps since the moment they first met Sara, they hadn’t thought about giving her up.

This letter was just a means to reflect and reassess everything up to now.

……Even for a short single week of life, I wanted to live a normal life like everyone else…

It had been a week since they met Sara. If that means the happy and joyful times they spent with her throughout the past week…

If Sara wanted to give up on life once more…

……In truth, their answer had already been set from the very beginning.

They had no intention of letting Sara go.

From the very start, even when they hadn’t seen this, they hadn’t even slightly considered giving up.

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