I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

Sara’s laughter is light.

Ah, of course, that doesn’t mean Sara laughs at everyone. She only chuckles when she thinks it’s necessary. She rarely smiles at people she isn’t close to, and she definitely doesn’t grinningly chuckle at just anyone.

However, even so, Ha-neul thought Sara’s laughter was too light. Yoo Ha-neul herself knew that Sara didn’t laugh for everyone, and her usual smiles towards others weren’t exactly genuine. The forced sneers and fake laughs intended to tease were easy to identify.

Naturally, Ha-neul didn’t pay much attention to such laughter.

But when Ye Sara laughs ‘genuinely,’ it’s different.

Whether she knows it or not, her narrowed-eye smile is mesmerizing enough to charm even the most aloof of foxes.

With those she truly wants to help or likes, or those in similar situations, Sara would unconsciously display such smiles. When she realized that smile she thought was for herself was, in fact, a common smile shown to regular people—

Well, she wasn’t exactly shocked. She already knew that. The smile Sara shows Ha-neul every morning does not seem like a smile she puts on intentionally.

But still.

Still, Ha-neul thought it was a bit much for her to smile like that to ‘everyone.’ The feeling of “only show that smile to me”—wasn’t necessarily what she felt, but seeing Sara give that look to someone else, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. That moment when Sara looked at someone else with that smile was a moment when that person was clearly more favored in Sara’s heart than Ha-neul.

…In truth, it wasn’t just the smile.

There’s no denying that Sara was an ‘attractive’ individual to anyone who saw her. Even if we set her personality aside, her looks alone could easily lure others in. If Sara wasn’t so innocent and naive, she could have stirred up quite the commotion just by enticing boys or some girls within the school.

Considering not only her looks but also her backing capital… one could almost say we should be grateful for Sara having a decent personality.

However, because of that.

Because she was such an attractive person, any genuine emotion that showed on Sara’s face easily amplified that charm.

Pouting her lips, or looking dazed as if flustered, or staring sharply at someone … While that glare could sometimes appear frightening depending on its intensity, as one gets to understand the unexpectedly many flaws in Sara, it becomes clear that most of it is simply misunderstanding.

Just like right now—

“Uheh.”

Ha-neul poked Sara’s side, who was sitting next to her. As always, Sara let out a strange sound that didn’t seem to match her cool appearance.

“What, what’s wrong…?”

During lunch break, Sara had probably unknowingly charmed the lead committee member.

No, had she known? Ha-neul didn’t want to think of Sara as that malicious, but to be honest, she wasn’t too sure. Even if it wasn’t outright seduction, all of Sara’s mischievous actions aimed at teasing the lead committee member seemed calculated to some extent.

Whether she was smart or not, given that she had lived her life in a cage, Sara hadn’t had the chance to learn much about human relationships. In a way, that had been beneficial for Ha-neul.

But curiously enough, sometimes Sara’s thoughts took strange turns. Like when she used her situation to play tricks on everyone, or when she found a way to utilize the image that the media had recklessly spread about her.

Finding ‘people who would help her’ without a care at all, even in situations where everyone perfectly ignored her.

…In that sense, perhaps Ha-neul was just one of ‘those people’ to Sara.

…And when that thought crossed her mind, she got so spooked that she would break out into a cold sweat even while sleeping.

Yes, she knew.

That’s just how friendships work. One side could think they have an unbreakable best friend bond while the other sees it as just one among many friends or acquaintances. Typically, they get along under this mutual deception, but when at some point, their true feelings are revealed to each other, an irreparable crack forms in their relationship.

One side feels an overwhelming burden from the other’s excessive affection.

The other side feels an intense betrayal from the indifference that doesn’t match their feelings.

…Ha-neul wished that her relationship with Sara wouldn’t reach that point.

So, she continued to keep her feelings in check until now.

But—

“Eheh.”

When Ha-neul poked Sara’s side again, she made that strange but cute sound once more. Someone in the back snickered at the sound.

Indeed, it was somewhat annoying when she thought about it.

“Hey, Ha-neul. Did I do something wrong?”

“…”

After seeing that letter, Ha-neul spent the entire weekend pondering how she should treat Sara. She could no longer exploit Sara’s lack of common sense for emotional gain like before.

A rejection guided by conscience.

The belief that one shouldn’t profit from another’s misfortune.

…Even though she had been pretending not to know up until now.

A voice in her heart whispered.

She could have guessed it quite well even without the letter. She was a child who had been trapped in a cage, living without a single friend. It was clear that she had lived a life miserable enough that she didn’t have to explicitly say she wanted to end it.

However, Yoo Ha-neul had turned a blind eye to that fact until Yang Hye-in showed her the suicide note that Sara had written herself. Only when that undeniable evidence came out did she finally recall such a moral thought.

So in reality, Sara had done nothing wrong.

“…No.”

Right now, acting petulant was merely due to her own feelings.

“No, it’s just, because I like you.”

Ha-neul made that subtle remark.

She thought that perhaps expressing it verbally would help her feelings come through a little clearer.

Sara tilted her head, her pretty eyebrows slightly furrowing.

“…Really?”

A look of doubt. A questioning tone.

Ironically, that attitude mirrored the sentiment inside Yoo Ha-neul’s heart.

“But…,”

Yoo Ha-neul leaned over suddenly and said,

“Wouldn’t it make sense to at least open your textbook?”

That’s right. It was class time now.

After Ha-neul and Sara had caused a ruckus in the classroom several times, the teachers seemed to have decided to ignore Ha-neul completely. Of course, while missing school would still count as an absence for her, it was at least true that they did not stop Ha-neul from talking to Sara during class. No, it would be more accurate to say they tried not to think about it.

Looking at their glances, it seemed they couldn’t fully ignore it either.

What did people think about the relationship between the two of us?

Judging by their attitudes, they probably assumed that we were indeed in that sort of relationship. In fact, it wasn’t just Ha-neul; Lee Soo-ah likely thought the same, and Sohee from the soccer team probably viewed them as an unruly couple too. Perhaps that was why they couldn’t look away from the two of them.

Being seated so close together on desks probably contributed to that impression.

“Well, we are students, right? We should study.”

Sara mostly just dozed off during class. Ha-neul thought that might be because she had been treated as such since childhood, and thus hadn’t learned how to focus. In fact, it seemed Sara herself wasn’t really concerned about it, but still, Ha-neul felt a bit worried as a friend.

Perhaps it was an action born from Ha-neul’s own worrying about not being able to continue in this school if she doesn’t study hard.

An issue that Sara might not understand.

“….”

Sara stared at Ha-neul for a moment, then let out a deep sigh and tossed the textbook open carelessly. The pages were impressively clean, with no writing on them.

…Good.

Seeing that, a spark ignited in Ha-neul’s heart.

Does she realize? While there are ways to grab the attention of others by goofing off in class, there’s also the method of paying a ton of attention and taking the class extremely seriously.

If she were to get unexpectedly good grades, wouldn’t that grab attention too? More importantly, no one could simply ignore her in school anymore.

Of course, that wouldn’t be achievable overnight. After all, it was unlikely that Sara, who had spent her middle school life in such a state, could score first in the first exam of her first semester just by trying to study now.

However, if she gave it a long enough time frame, wouldn’t it be possible?

“Hehe.”

Ha-neul poked Sara’s side again as she started to doze off once more. After hearing that sound, laughter from the back held in again, but Ha-neul ignored it.

“Let’s study, study.”

In the end, unable to resist Ha-neul’s prodding, Sara picked up a pen.

*

As always, after class ended, they headed to the gym for some physical training. Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, Shin So-hee didn’t show up.

Not even during the time they passed over the wall did Shin So-hee appear.

“Is something up…?”

Even though she thought of her as a rival, she was still a friend. If she didn’t show up at the usual time and place, it was only natural for Ha-neul to worry a little.

“Oh, right. That makes sense.”

However, what came out of Sara’s mouth was completely different from what Ha-neul expected. It was as if she had known all along that So-hee wouldn’t be coming today, as Sara nodded her head.

“Oh, so….”

Looking at the expressions on Ha-neul and Lee Soo-ah, who were staring at her, Sara seemed to hesitate for a moment about how to phrase what she wanted to say.

Her expression didn’t look particularly serious and thus it didn’t seem to indicate something bad had happened, but that silence was enough to make Ha-neul feel anxious.

Did Sara know about their meeting over the weekend?

She didn’t allow herself to think lightly that it was simply a meeting between friends. After all, Shin So-hee had openly stated multiple times that she liked Sara. There was no way she would meet Sara without her own motives.

“…You’ll find out if you just come along.”

After a considerable pause, Sara finally resouted to give that ambiguous answer.

Upon hearing those words, Ha-neul couldn’t help but feel even more anxious.

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