I Don’t Want to be a Villainess

“…The will I showed you…”

“It definitely belongs to the young lady.”

Yang Hye-in tried to say that, but the words couldn’t leave her mouth.

The reason was simple. She couldn’t believe it herself.

Now that she thought about it, Yang Hye-in knew almost nothing about Sara. She thought she had been helping her over the last three years, but she didn’t even know that Sara was studying by herself, or that she was somehow obtaining sleeping pills and writing such a will.

She didn’t even know that Sara had attempted suicide. Even though she had directly followed her to the hospital, she was completely unaware.

And she had pressed the doctor who reported child abuse and the police who came to look into it, forcing them out.

…She thought that was natural.

After all, she was a maid working for a hefty salary.

…..

Could it really be like that?

Was she cooperating just because of the money she received?

No, it wasn’t just because she was getting paid.

One of the perpetrators of that ‘child abuse’ was her. Since she was paid, she had to do her part… all of that was just an excuse. If she started to catch the culprits involved in Sara’s abuse, it was obvious that she would be dragged into it as well, so she moved.

Until Sara’s attitude changed, Yang Hye-in had never done anything for her. She simply lived each day, repeating her assigned tasks for the money.

…How Sara was studying, what hobbies she had, what thoughts she was living with—

If she were to actually talk about those things, Yang Hye-in couldn’t answer. She truly didn’t know.

Even after being by her side for three years.

Her heart felt tight.

“Is it really written by Sara?”

“…….”

Yang Hye-in bit her lip. She wanted to say yes. After all, the will was actually found in Sara’s room. The number of people who had access to that room was quite limited, including herself and Sara. Well, it wouldn’t be incorrect to say only Yang Hye-in and Sara. Even though the chairwoman had that authority, she had rarely entered the room.

“Then, let me change the question.”

Yoo Ha-neul, staring blankly at Yang Hye-in, took a light breath and asked.

“Is this will… written by Yang Hye-in?”

“……No, it isn’t.”

At least, she could immediately answer that question.

Yang Hye-in couldn’t even properly answer whether she was sincerely reflecting on the sins of the past three years. In truth, she had been relying on Sara’s decision not to blame her.

She was scared.

What if Sara, the young lady, began questioning her sins and wanted legal punishment…

Could she accept that calmly?

She thought she probably couldn’t.

That’s why, cowardly, she was just holding her breath, hoping for the forgiveness of the child.

‘I’m working for her,’ she kept telling herself.

“……”

Yoo Ha-neul stared silently at Yang Hye-in for a while. Neither of them touched their coffee.

As the suffocating silence passed, Yoo Ha-neul sighed lightly.

“To be honest, I can’t take that at face value.”

Of course. There had never been enough trust built between Yang Hye-in and her. Not just Yoo Ha-neul, but all of Sara’s surrounding friends felt the same. They should be thankful that it only ended with disbelief, as there were plenty of reasons to suspect further.

“But I’ll listen to your story. At least I don’t feel that you have ‘malice’ towards Sara.”

That was something that might seem overly lenient depending on the perspective, but at least to Yang Hye-in in her current state, it was a grateful acknowledgment.

Yang Hye-in racked her brain. How could she think that the will she saw was written by Sara?

First of all, the will came from Sara’s room. The only ones who could deliberately enter Sara’s room and leave the will there were her, the chairwoman, and Sara herself.

Did the chairwoman secretly register someone else’s fingerprint besides Yang Hye-in?

She wanted to say no, but…

…She didn’t know.

She really didn’t know anything.

She had just been doing what the chairwoman told her to do like a machine.

“Ah.”

Still, it wasn’t that there was nothing she remembered.

That day, there was more than just the will and sleeping pills in Sara’s desk drawer.

There was a thick notebook that seemed to be written by Sara.

“There was a notebook. It appeared to be written by the young lady…”

“A notebook?”

At Yoo Ha-neul’s question, Yang Hye-in nodded.

“Yes, in the very bottom drawer of the young lady’s desk, there was a notebook along with the will. I’m sure the handwriting in that notebook was identical to this letter.”

“……”

Yoo Ha-neul fell silent for a moment, then spoke.

“Are you certain that the notebook was written by Sara? If you are sure, can you tell me why?”

“……”

Yang Hye-in was convinced that the notebook was written by Sara. Even in a state where she didn’t know Sara’s handwriting or understand her well, what led her to believe the notebook was written by Sara?

There was only one reason.

“The writing in that notebook had no purpose.”

“Purpose?”

“Yes, purpose. There was no indication that someone wanted to convey something to someone else or that it was written out of necessity. What was written in that notebook was merely a story.”

A story that appeared to have been created directly by Sara.

She hadn’t read it all. It was a longer story than she expected, and especially in the early parts, there were signs of Sara crossing out parts she didn’t like, erasing them, and constantly revising.

From the beginning, Yang Hye-in thought that it was not a story someone intended to show to others.

It was a story that perhaps she wrote just for herself, or perhaps just for the sake of writing it.

She hadn’t planned to show it to anyone, but that made her invest even more effort into it.

Yang Hye-in judged that nobody could simply imitate that.

“……”

Yoo Ha-neul seemed to want to deduce the sincerity embedded in Yang Hye-in’s words, staring at her for a while.

“……I understand.”

And then she nodded.

“However, that still leaves questions.”

Then she looked again at the borrowed notebook. There, jagged handwriting was scattered about. The atmosphere was very different from the well-regulated, round handwriting in the will.

“…Sara, both then and now, is still Sara.”

“……”

“But how can the handwriting be so different?”

Everyone present couldn’t discern handwriting authentication. But even to someone unfamiliar, these two handwritings clearly did not look like they were written by the same person.

“That’s…”

Yang Hye-in trailed off.

“Last time, I said I was sure that Sara had taken that medication.”

Yoo Ha-neul shot a piercing gaze at Yang Hye-in.

Yang Hye-in nodded. That day when Sara screamed in the middle of the night. The day she was taken to the hospital and suspected of child abuse. Even if it wasn’t precisely that day, she thought it was around that timeframe. Either she had taken the medication and something happened, or she had failed to die after taking it. It had to be one or the other.

“…Don’t you think that medication might have caused some kind of harm to her body?”

For example, to her brain.

Even though Yoo Ha-neul didn’t directly say it, the intention of the question was quite clear, making it impossible for Yang Hye-in to answer.

The doctor had said that aside from physical injuries, everything else was normal. If the drug had been detected or if there had been any issues with her brain, there would have been ample reason to keep Sara in the hospital. But the doctor had given in to the pressure and sent her home.

…What if there really was some problem?

What if there was an issue, but Yang Hye-in’s intervention led to Sara being sent home before testing took place?

So, what if there had been a significant problem in Sara’s head—

Could it be that the Sara Yang Hye-in had thought had ‘changed’ until now was truly just a ‘changed’ version of her?

…

“Is the current Sara the Sara that Yang Hye-in knows?”

At Yoo Ha-neul’s question, Yang Hye-in truly found herself at a loss for words.

*

…The Sara I knew may not actually be the real Sara.

That thought weighed heavily on Yoo Ha-neul’s chest as she left Yang Hye-in and headed home.

Sara, who hadn’t ignored the only one isolated at school and had treated her simply as a friend.

Sara, who seemed sharp but also had a goofy side, was deep in thought yet could be random, who was wealthy but didn’t seem to be affected by it— that ‘Sara’ might not be the original ‘Sara.’

“What should I do…?”

Unknowingly, she muttered that.

Really, she had no idea what to do.

No, did the current Sara even know the original Sara? Was she conscious of it?

Did she want to go back to the way things were?

If the current Sara thought about regaining her past memories and becoming the original Sara…

Of course, she should help. If that’s what ‘Sara’ wanted.

But what if Sara truly regained her memories and became different from the Sara Yoo Ha-neul remembered?

Then, would she still be able to like Sara as she had until now?

Yoo Ha-neul stopped her steps, which had been walking slowly.

She took a big breath. The still somewhat chilly night air rushed in, clearing her mind a bit.

She slapped her cheeks with both hands. People passing by glanced over but she didn’t care.

Worrying like this wasn’t her style.

“Right, what am I worrying about?”

There’s someone I like.

If the person I liked wanted something, it would be right to help them get it.

As someone who likes her.

Isn’t that enough?

Yeah, no need to go around in circles. There’s no need to complicate things.

Just, let Sara have what she wants. Let’s help make that happen.

For now, it should be a priority to ask Sara directly.

Yoo Ha-neul took a deep breath once more and exhaled again.

Her mind was made up.

Now that the direction was set, all that was left was to keep running.

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