Into The Rain With You

The next day was almost a replica of the one before. The same routine. The same school, the same classes, the same hallway chatter. The world continued to spin, oblivious to the cracks that were slowly appearing inside me. I tried to keep up appearances, tried to laugh when it was expected, to joke when the silence felt too heavy. But it was becoming harder and harder to keep the mask intact.

The truth was, every time I saw Haruka—every time I heard her words echoing in my head about "not needing to perform"—I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of unease. Did I really need to keep performing? Was I so far gone that I couldn't imagine a life without the constant pressure of expectations?

I walked into the cafeteria, as I always did, but my usual confidence felt strained. I could hear my friends laughing, talking, the background hum of their chatter almost like a constant noise in my head. I wasn't part of it. I was just observing, drifting in and out of conversations, but never really there. It was like I was a shadow in my own life.

"Yo, Kai! Over here!"

I turned toward the voice and saw Yuto waving from a table near the corner, the usual gang around him—Miyu, Aki, and Emi. They were all laughing, but when their eyes found me, their smiles widened in that exaggerated, welcoming way that made me feel like I was supposed to play along.

I forced a grin and walked over. "What's up, guys?"

Aki, the tall guy with spiky hair, slapped me on the back. "Man, you're always late. What's going on? Getting a little too popular for us, huh?"

I laughed, but there was an edge to it. "Yeah, something like that," I muttered, taking a seat next to Miyu. I glanced at her, noticing the playful sparkle in her eyes. She was always the life of the group, the one who kept things light, who made everyone feel included. But today, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was just... trying too hard.

"You're awfully quiet today," Emi remarked, her voice soft but with that tone that suggested she was trying to figure me out. "Everything okay, Kai?"

I didn't answer immediately. My gaze drifted out the window toward the courtyard where I'd seen Haruka the day before. She was nowhere in sight, but the memory of our conversation lingered. You don't have to perform all the time.

I quickly shook my head, forcing myself back into the conversation. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… tired."

"Same," Miyu said, stretching dramatically. "This week feels endless, doesn't it? Maybe we should all hit up the arcade this weekend. You know, blow off some steam?"

The idea was nice, I guess. I smiled and nodded. "Sure. Sounds like fun."

But even as I said it, I knew it wouldn't be enough. Nothing ever was. I wasn't sure what I was looking for anymore. Was I seeking peace? Validation? Understanding?

I didn't know.